₦airaland Forum

luscioustrish:
Anything is better than wearing wig

LedRock:
No one is talking about how rudely the girl behaved, she had an agreement with him and disappointed, there is no need shouting and cursing when you reject someone. I have many girls that shoot their shots at me and I reject them without any commotion.

No wahala na all these simp guys dey make all these girls feel fly.

MrBrownJay1:
You don't need cheap chat lines to deal with women (who have no respect for you), you solely need to A) mingle with better women B) stand for what you believe is right or wrong to do in a r/ship and C) if/when a woman try to play you (aka take you for a ride), don't be afraid to give her a piece of your mind, without being scared of being labelled "whatever nonsense" by these same women.

...but most importantly, go look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of whoever you see in the reflection.

emkz:
When I was abroad and wanted to get married, I was advised to marry an abroad-based Nigerian woman who had an understanding of the workings of the system abroad, who understood that every penny must be worked for and every bill must be paid and failure would lead to a judicial process. Someone who would appreciate the value of £20 after understanding the sweat it takes to get it.

Many at times, girls at home are not really exposed and don't understand the dynamics of settling down abroad. They don't understand the struggles of sharing a house, budgeting for a month, eating bread with mayonnaise, pasta with mayonnaise, seeing things you cannot afford to buy, loneliness and worst of all, having no money and having no one to loan you. When she does not go through these struggles and comes abroad, she'd think life is a paradise when she see house and car. Then when she is befriended by one gbeborun, they'd fill her head with ideas that she can be independent at your expense. They then begin to launch a scheme to get you out of the way and take over your house. Even when they take over these houses, they forget they must pay all the bills to maintain the house: heating, electricity, land tax, council tax, gas and water bills; telephone bills, TV license, home contents insurance and house fire insurance. Let them have the house. Fight not to pay alimony. Within two years, they'd be forced to sell the house and na there their real struggle go start.

There are many high-flying women abroad who are well-to-do and well-mannered. Go to churches, they are there; go to local expats events like internations, they are there. You'd also find them at conferences, pay and go. If it becomes inevitable to bring a woman from Nigeria, get a pre-nup to protect yourself and your assets, don't be blinded by love. Some women cannot manage freedom. I remember when the UK police went to a church and took a Yoruba-speaking Nigerian to plead with Nigerian women to stop calling the police on their husbands.

Oracleforce:
I can never do this kind of mumu mistake...an average African lady is greedy...all my property will be in naija while we rent houses in abroad....if dem born dem well make demcome say make I leave my house for Naija because of one stupid woman....god punish oyinbo court judgment t

Palema007:
If guys do this, I mean ask ladies to pay for their transport and bills, seriously no one will put a gun to their heads. But These guys will rather pay up, create the "big man" image, try to satisfy the women but will come online to wail and cry. No one is forcing them to do more than they can, but trust the guys who needs validation from women to do more than they are capable of then cry in silent in their rooms and openly on anonymous forums.

That said, ladies don't ask Men out, it hardly ever happen. So if guys want ladies to pay bills on first date, then they should wait till ladies ask them out and wish to spend time with them. Very simple!

Endymi:
Please what is the meaning of op

Ygrette:
I get your point and have infact lived it when I was younger. I know everything you've written cos I've been there. Yes, it would seem like a burden to be with someone you appear not to love but my dear, these sorts of things is just "mindset".

Your mind will delude you to think you can't love someone because they don't meet certain physical qualities you want in your man. But I'm telling you that you can, we all can so long as the personality is good. You can work on yourself to love someone.

Love itself isn't a feeling, it goes beyond physical attraction. Takes time to grow, Love is a decision. Focus on their strengths and how they love and are committed to you, you'll learn to love and respect them. A wise woman will respect that man that loves her. Respect is an immediate action, unlike love which grows with time.

Gamesmart:
No, they don't.

If you line up all the races in Europe and explore their desirability to one another for sex, dating and marriage, black men are higher up the pecking order amongst men of all races than black women are amongst women of all races.

There has been a UK TV show social survey has backed this up.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4707512/Outrage-experiment-looking-racism-dating.html

Only 9.4% of white people say they will date outside their race.

And we all know that out of this 9.4%, the white women will prefer to date black men and the white men will prefer to date orientals.

In America, black men do better for sex & dating desirability than black women. But they are both at the bottom of races for marriage desirability.

Crispels:
As a Nigerian in the US, I’ve always preferred ending up with a fellow Nigerian because I just love that Naija aura; spirit and energy but most of the Nigerian girls I met when I first arrived here were so cocky, condescending and unapproachable.

However, I think age plays a big factor. If you were born here(a Nigerian - American) or you came here at a relatively young age(below 23), it's somewhat easier to find a life partner. Maybe if you came here for college or grad school - you can easily find a partner while in school.

Nevertheless, many Nigerian girls in America tend to waste their chances by being unrealistic when they are still below the age of 25. Many of them easily look down on people and they play themselves later on. Let me tell you a story. I have this friend of mine who lives in New York - he was born and raised in Naija. He came here for his Master’s and when he first arrived - he wanted a Nigerian girl by all means but most of the Nigerian girls around him then looked down on him. They saw him as a ”fresher” who had a thick accent, weird dressing, and all those kinds of stuff. I had a similar experience with some Nigerian girls too but his own experience was worse. When the guy was struggling in the US - none of these girls offered any friendship/support because they all felt he was not within their illusionary standard. The only people that supported him were the foreigners in his graduate school. But the guy who was talented. He worked hard at Columbia University and he eventually got a top investment job with JP Morgan. This my guy earns ridiculous six figures amount almost every month now. But do you know most of the Naija girls who looked down on him all tried to be friends with him after he was featured by Bloomberg business report? Can you imagine such nonsense! Why did they suddenly find him attractive now?

Well, the guy is currently dating the white girl that stood by him when he first arrived in New York but he still told me last month that he had always preferred a Nigerian babe but life happens. What if those Naija girls had even given him a chance of being their friend? What if they had tried to know him and not just judge him based on his looks as a struggling freshly arrived immigrant?
Nigerian girls in North America keep looking for finished products when they themselves are not in any way ready-made. They want guys that are 6-4 tall, beards, cars, houses, and all of those fleeting things at the same time. It's a wrong mentality to have and that's why most of them are still single. Life is a process. You don't expect men to have achieved 90% of their life goals when you meet them. People grow! A guy may not be muscular today but he can look like Anthony Joshua after spending some months in the gym. People need to understand the fact that life is a process. Then, we can take it from there.


Many of them are also intoxicated with this whole feminist stuff. See, as I am, I can cook by myself and I probably don't need a wife who knows how to cook. But do you know what? I’ve had female friends who are East Africans, black Americans, and whites who cook Nigerian food and give them to me. My friends who date these foreigners enjoy Nigerian food made by these foreign girls.

Yet, our Nigerian ”sisters” will be shouting up and down that it is not their duty to cook in the family. I know how to cook but I also want a wife who is homely. If I don't see these qualities in any girl of Nigerian descent but the qualities are present in a Kenyan girl or a white girl, why should I marry a Nigerian girl? The incentive is not there! Some foreign girls even embody Naija qualities than the so-called Naija girls.

lionlee216:
Dating African(Nigerians to be precise) is like an headache over here.. when I first got here, the first Nigerian lady I met, our conversation ended within minutes.

Girl : how long have you been here?
Me : less than a year
Girl : Do you have green card
Me : No
Girls stop responding

In the grocery store/Mall
Me: Hi, You look beautiful. Whats your name ?
AA : Thank you, that's wonderful sweet. My name is Tisha
Me: Can I have your number and call you sometime?
AA : Sure. There you go OR I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend.

The AAs are very straightforward in their conversation. They wont come to you with bills and other bullshit. They got their shit together.

Me : Whats up, whsts your plan for the tomorrow/weekend
Nigerian Girl: I dont have free time. I'm always busy.
Me : Oh, I'm thinking if we can hangout for a bit
Girl : Why?
Me : Nevermind

One thing is AA makes is very easy for Nigerian guys to ask them out. They are always friendly. Its either they like you or they don't.

Dating Nigerian girls will be like Lionlee, I told u about my bills, how much do u want to be helping me with monthly

The moment they get laid, they automatically assume you are in relationship.

Nigerian Girl : where are you? Look at the time. Do you know the last time you called me last? You just chatting me since 4hrs ago?

AA : What's up babe, i haven't heard from you and I guess you are busy. Carry on with your day. Text me when you can. Miss you.

The list is so unending.. The sweetest thing that can ever happen to you is to date an AA woman that is educated(At least Bachelor degree).

If i grew up here, i for sure know I will never get married. Me getting here opened my eye to marriage. Why get married when you can always get everything in a marriage with your partner without getting married?

I really feel for Single/Unmarried Nigerian girls here. I really do.

The one i met last was 37yrs. You clearly put on your dating app you are looking for something serious. You gave me your number. Response always slow, add me to whatsapp, You no gree! Send me some of your pictures, Na wahala saying she doesn't take pictures. Ask AA girls for pictures, you will see a mature response. After sending pictures they will tell you when the pics were taken and location.

Advice for my Nigerian girls? Have a white friend and AA as friend and learn from them

#OkBye

Kekereekun123:
Nigerian are getting married to each other and some other races. And yes there are a lot a single ladies and guys too. Over here dating apps or match making are your best bet. I have related with foreigners and Nigerian on dating apps and singles group. The younger Nigerian ladies seems to all have the same thing in common they want a financially stable guy ( typical Goldding trait from 9ja). if you tell foreign gals you just landed and still settling they wont stop talking to you, one came all the way to take me out with her car just to chill tho as a friend. If you tell a Nigerian lady that they would like stop talking to you and cant waste her fuel to come see you. Also the culture here is different unlike in Africa where different men will chase and toast you daily. majority of men here wont do that so woman has to make the move ( our 9ja sisters will say over my dead body). Some will marry, those married ones too some will divorce, some too will be single for a long time. In the West marriage and relationship is not a must. A man can lose his house, pay mortgage, child support and spousal support. many have turned gay or avoided marriage completely. it does not favour men. Everything marriage brings can be gotten while being unmarried. so why marry in the west men are last in the pyramid and have no say during divorce and custody.

Hierarchy of importance in the west

kids
Seniors/oldies
women
pets
wood/stone/plant
man

ElasmoBranchii:
Who hasn't read this article by illimitablemen. It's very witty and deep.


https://illimitablemen.com/2014/09/16/the-art-of-fishing/

Prestige001:
I swear she is a virgin, the last time she came. I checked

HeavenlyCherub:
How is she a fraudster? Wanting nice things has nothing to do with being a leech, gold digger or fraudster. Why do you automatically allow past experiences to shadow your perspective of someone new. Women in general just want to be pampered. You do what you can according to your pockets. If you do not have just let her know. Instead of coming online to rant. You don’t sound like a great catch too.l, if you can just come online to name call someone. Does me wanting nice things and being pampered make me a gold digger? I can buy all the things I ask for on my own but it’s nice if my companion treats me here and there as I also give. I just think stick to someone you are equally yoked to financially, spiritually, physically so you don’t feel used

clintonsparkz:
No its not, before it was possible, they stopped it last year November.

Mikeval001:
To be honest you will need lot of prayers, believe and patient because it's not easy to get appointment date from the embassy especially on category B.

I was on this journey last year,I got admission in May 2019 for September intake and I applied for appointment j unfortunately appointment didn't show till the year ended. I was said and worried and funny thing was that at the time I didn't know much about Nairaland mainly because I have three friends studying in Germany so they were helpful with guidelines but i forgot to put into consideration that a lot has changed since they left Nigeria in terms of appointment date and other things. I funded my block account with Fintiba last year June,when I couldn't get appointment date for September my school decided to defer my admission to March 2020 then I rebook another appointment but still I couldn't get appointment date for category B for March, I could remember vividly that even people on category A then couldn't get appointment date except for people on category A with scholarship, to be honest I gave up and I started working on how to get my money back from Fintiba and to the glory of God I got it back three weeks ago.

Now I'm processing another country but I've learnt and know a lot about Germany so I come here once in a while to give advice and answer questions to the best of my knowledge.

Sammiel:
I agree with the original poster 100%. Masturbation kills you spiritually and physically and also takes the drive for success from you by stealing your confidence and dampening your morale.
Ironically, a very good consensual sex with someone you love solves all the problems that come with engaging in the act masturbation.
Therefore, if you can't tame the urge, look for someone of the opposite and have a fantastic sex. No one regrets sleeping with who they love. But remember to play safe because a one night stand could turn out to be a lifetime regret.
Shallom.