₦airaland Forum

Smh..lol the whole package without the nagging

Ishilove:
You're a clown

.. PMs?

Ishilove:
I love catfish!! I haven't eaten it a longtime but I plan to very soon.

If you want to push 10boys inside my tummy, put a ring on it. Abi you want to be like 2face?

Hihihih..I'll make sure I over feed you catfish when I catch you so that you'll also hate it just like me ,how papa go get different soup with ice fish or another type of fish while mama will have her own separate pot of soup with catfish? ..you'll cheat me and make your soup sweeter than mine so we can't let that love for catfish last very long o

Lol 2face na trend setter now so it won't be out of place if I walk in his footsteps ,in fact e be like say him go come learn from me sef cos my own na 10 rapid response before another 10 ,but 2face eventually put the ring on it na lol..don't you know these days we need to test run the engine before purchase?ha we need certified engine o with better warranty

Ishilove:
Torqque7, are you from kabba?

Wrong babe..not kabba either lol better do proper research o

GloriaNinja:
well... I like ninja style. it impresses me..... as for martial arts. it is a thing of the body and soul. It is almost like yoga. it doesn't mean trouble-making.

Lol yoga and martial arts who has time for that in nija in this terrible economic situation? So do you take classes or sessions of martial arts?

I'm actually intrigued that a female is this passionate about martial arts,are you a bit of a tomboy?..lol you want to soothe your soul?religion does that na ..besides you are way too young to be having the kind of stress that would need a thing for the body and soul.

So I take it you have a collection of ninja and martial arts movies too?lol you look more like a telemundo kinda girl

Ishilove:
Awwww. Don't worry dear, any day something carries me to that end we will definitely hook up for catfish peppersoup and chilled smirnoff!

Lol OK I'll be waiting for you,see your small mouth like catfish pepper soup.. ;Dyou go chop tire..I don't eat that cat fish anymore o,got tired of it but I'll watch you eat it tho

Ehnn but when you are coming don't tell anybody that you are coming o so that when I kidnap you and put 10 boys inside you sharp sharp you won't be able to go back to Lasgidi again and they won't know where to come and look for you ..how can baby daddy be in abj and baby mama be far in Lagos?

Ishilove:
Lasgidi. You want to visit me?

Maybe,but Lasgidi too faar.. ..was hoping you were just visiting gidi, but based somewhere close to Abj or Abj itself ,you for don see me for your backyard already

Just dey there the form romeo o u hear and continue watching her be a cheerful giver until she give you HIV mtcheeeeww. .

Lol..you are a funny interesting babe..

Ishilove:
Hokay

So my igbo lady,wherez your location?

Ishilove:
Igbo. If you aren't Igala then you must be igbira...

Wrong,and wrong again..neither sha we are a minority in kogi state..I am giving you that assignment do small research so you can know small about your country and its people and culture..

Ishilove:
Ehen! Lemme rush to see the face

*rushes out*

*rushes back in*

Ha, see your face old man! I can even see the gray hair in your nostrils!!

Uncle Torque, you don old o


Go and marrrrryyyy!!

Lol..ehnn izi not when I find wife I go marry?wife hard to find these days o ..all you see around are either crazy Lil girls who will be contesting with you on who sabi fvck pass and who sabi smoke weed/ shisha pass..Good for fun but not good to be wifed..

So you can see my grey hairs already?I need to extend the dying process to my nose too,black dye should do the trick oya come and seat down on my lap and help me apply the dye.. but plss no sudden movements when on the lap so that my baby making tool will not cause confusion for us and instead of dying the grey hair, bad bad things will now start happening..

Ishilove:
But seriously, bura is 'deek' in Hausa?

Lmao!
H
Are you hausa, torqque7?

Hihihih. .yes you ddnt know?bura is dic.k in hausa o so dn't go and utterly the word loud where there are hausa people o lol.

No I am not hausa but grew up in the northern part of Nigeria, Abuja and jos basically..Originally from kogi state,and NO iam not Igala lol.

What about Ishilove?igbo or Yoruba lady?

Ishilove:
Yes o. All these heavy duty chains they use to tow Mac trucks na hin I go use padlock the place. After locking I will go and keep the keys and spare keys in the bank vault

Ehenn better stop that dangerous play o..very very expensive joke so you want downfall of that bank be that because the next day after you deposit the key in the bank you will just hear the bank got burnt. so if you dn't want that situation for the innocent bank then you should have mercy with your punishment tamper justice with mercy..

Ishilove:
Let's start with 6, 3 boys 3 girls . Buratai, Buratu, Tokwase, Terdo, Ishilove jnr and Toeqque jnr

My night was fine o, old man. Did you meet your deadline?

Lol six kids ke..noo too small,sha we can if you insist but then you'll to be ready to be killing all the others when I put them inside you be that o,cos the putting in na rapid response process..and that's the reason why them fit plenty reach 20 ..

And by the way self na all boys o so don't expect any girl..if you need female company then call your sisters to come keep you company. And why you come the worry for the name Buratai na which one come be Buratu again? ?hahaha do you know what BURA means in hausa? So you want to name my kids dic.k abi? cos that's what Bura means in hausa o. And where did you get all those other names Tokwase etc..lol you be benue girl?

See you,you don't even know your husbands name..lol its torqque o not toeqque .next time don't get it wrong

Hmm my dear I ddnt meet up the deadline o abeg I can't come and go and kill myself when I never born mini meez yet,but I told them Ishilove is responsible for my inability to meet up sha. So na me be old man?with this my sweet sixteen face .so il be calling you baby Ishilove from now too since you decided to give me a name too.

GloriaNinja:
I love ninjas, they are hot! and I love martial arts.

:oHot ke..smh lol women una no go kill person with una crazy weird imaginations and ideas..never heard anyone say ninjas are hot before until now.

Hmm you like martial arts?that means you'll be a tiny trouble maker,ehenn you better don't go and find trouble sha o cos that martial arts shit don't work with nija agberos, before them go help you redesign this your innocent looking face and you'll come and make a thread on Nl about it lol..I think lilinnocenttroublemaker suits you more for a moniker tho

Ishilove:
I was a strict mod, not terrorist. People often mistake one for the other

Chai na him mean say if your man vex you small you go punish am well well by tieing your legs together with chain and padlock to deprive him of heaven for 2 weeks o ..*hmm thinking padlock spare keys must be stollen somehow somehow*

Ishilove:
Ehen! Old man go and marry!!

So this is how you want to break my heart and drive me to another woman shey? ehenn just come first and give me 10kids before you drive me away..and that your mouth ehnn I must bite am for using it to drive me away..

Lol how's your night miss

Wizzyblack3:
Lwkmd... That kind family ehn! To say na me, i go just summarize d long list, give them my own version that include a Column which indicate ''If i take your pikin do ritual, its not ur business o''

Lwtmb..Bros e be like say you never hear say Dane gun fit fall human beings abi?most of these ibgo papas get one o so better rethink that ritual part of your contract

GloriaNinja:
Lol

Interesting moniker. .what inspired the ninja?

Ishilove:
Very few people offline know my Nairaland username. Too many bad belle peeps out there

Lol you lucky say you no ban me before if not your punishment for increase from 20 kids to 50 ..hahaha so you were a small terrorist mod..rotfl

Ishilove:
Ehen! So I am your investment?? Meanwhile even recharge card 50 bucks I've not seen from your hand. You're a very bad investor. Gerrarahere, mehn!

I thought you're Yoruba. Balogun laarin obirin means Minister of Women affairs, Chairman in the middle of women

You want to make babies in the middle of sambisa? We will name our first child Buratai. It's unisex

Lol..investment na step by step na,first you do serious feasibility studies then you can decide how serious your investment is in your life and what next to do,ahnn ahnn but 50 buck credit sef to give the mother of my 20 kids no go hard after d economy recovers,you know we are hoping the light at the end of the tunnel will shine sooner than later ;Dso that would be handled hihihih so I am not a bad investor o.shey you never hear of look before you leap ni?

So you thought I was youruba?chai all these lagos and it's environs people sef..na everybody for this world go be Yoruba ni? ,lol I am not Yoruba o.

Noo sambisa too far,baby making starts where we are seated o, we will just tell your friend to close her eyes, I don't want wahala cos these days av heard people say they fell on women and mistakenly came in their punny,so who knows maybe your friend too might get pregnant just by peeping at us while we are seriously making mini meez so it's just safe for her to close her eyes dazzall.

So you want to name all my 20 boys buratai ..this kind mama sef I tire for you o lol..

Ishilove:
You have a deadline and you're Nairalanding? You're addicted

*shifts* Oya sit down

Balogun larin obirin

So you want me to die on top work matter?my in laws must hear this,their daughter wants to kill me already when she still owes me 20mini meez ..but you know I was discussing serious business here now,part of the reason for the hardwork is cos the money is needed to maintain and takia of the important investment,a good punny is good investment now so it's OK if I was discussing about my investment . .if I get queried sha for not meeting up with the deadline il hold you responsible o shikena..

*Seats besides her* Hmmm but now seating close you and looking at you up close is making me reconsider our sambisa honeymoon plans..e be like we go just start making the 20 babies here ni..cos sambisa suddenly seems very VERY far and I can't wait very long to see mini meez with your smile and lips.

Lol kini Balogun larin obirin

Ishilove:
See, as long as we women have to push another human being out of our punnies, there's no way that place can retain its tightness. That's a price of motherhood us women have to pay

I'm fine dear. How was yours?

the price is quite expensive for the men to bear , I want to eat my cake and still have it o so we must find a solution asap cos punny business is serious business o,investment must not loose value at all lol.

Twas ok,just been a bit lazy all day and have lots of work to be done o,probably will have to work well into the night because I have a deadline anyway it's all good tho,at least Nairaland helped me cushion the stress abit oya schooch over so I can join in on the pic of you and your friend@dp

Wizzyblack3:
Chai, what if this gal is on Nairaland? You don finish dia family.

d

Lol..but you check am now baba the family wan use the guy start life for themselves..the girl too is to blame because she suppose don see the list before it was handed to the gentleman so she is just as guilty as her parents..

Can you imagine,there is a part that stated ASORTED hot drinks for the dad,even her brothers too have a share on the list so Bros na poverty the cause that kind thing..if the babe is on Nairaland then even better,at least now she knows that her family wants to milk her man dry

Ishilove:
Lol. You're not serious o

..Can you imagine?am not serious ke?I am as serious as a heart attack o babe..so you don't know that issues of important goods tearing or loosing it's grip and firmness are not issues to play with for a man? shey it was you I saw talking on a thread about giving birth through the va.gina rather than CS? you didn't notice the wahala that thing was trying to cause there abi? Biko I can't shout o 4 doctors self will be on deck for such emergencies so dn't worry,our plan for 20 kids still onpoint ..lol

Don't mind me Jor..how was your day beautiful?

Ishilove:
20 shidren bawo? Abeg swerve -------> No be me you go kee

Ahnn ahnn now why would I want to kill the mother of my children? Am sorry o But it's your fault for making me want 20 kids, if you dn't look sexy then I can try and manage 1kid but as long as it's the other way around then just get ready o ..don't worry we will have better doctors in Nigeria too by then aspa light at the end of the tunnel for don show ,so they will be on standby incase any thing important tries to tear or loose it's tightness which is very very dangerous and will be viewed as an expensive joke.

dobys:
hahahahahahaha okay

Hmmm so you are laughing at me shey?instead of praying for me to emerge triumphant from lusting after dobys pic .do you know all the bad bad things that have been going through my head as a result of lust noni sotay headache don join sef?so you want me to go to hell after suffering from this buharis bad economic downturn?ifa catch u ehnn ..lol

Mtcheeeeww poverty stricken family,trying to hama from the poor guy..abeg give them back their daughter women are not in short supply..No be only 400k for fathers dowry and 200k for mother..na 1 million each..what a load of crap..like I said poverty stricken family

Ishilove:
Ehen! So where are we honeymooning?

Well could try maiduguri because by then things would have been better aspa light at the end of the tunnel ,or sambisa forest,I heard they turning it into some sort of resort for newlyweds,with special discounts for those who plan on having not less than 10kids so get ready cos we will definitely fall into that category.

But if you dn't fancy maiduguri then you can decide wherever you wish but be warned that if it's going to cost me an arm and leg then you better be ready to give me not less than 20 beautiful kids, (mostly boys tho)

Hmmm you've wasted too much time already..pls send her back before she burns down your home and kill everyone.

I can't understand how an 11 year old can break the toilet seat..even an adult would have to use a lot of force before that can happen,as for the plasma,did she pull it off the wall abi she pushed it off a table?for goodness sake all these acts are not things that happen mistakenly, I have NEVER heard where a toilet was broken mistakenly because someone sat on it,I also never heard of people's plasma TVs breaking mistakenly,the stories usually involves an angry spouse or girlfriend smashing the damn TV and doing it deliberately so mam..I'll advice you to do the needful because some people are just planted by the devil in our lives to cause us pain,the earlier you realise the better for you. Good luck tho and God bless your home.

P.S those relatives you are concerned about are not in your shoes and dn't know how your are hurting,if they feel too sentimental about the issue then they can take the Lil bag of mischief into their homes

dobys:
wah kinda expensive joke is dat..... smh. u must have being losting over her jare. bang her

Lol..that's what the male specie does,especially if the female in question is attractive then lustre must follow so it's not a big deal if he was lusting over her,it's our ability to control the lust that matters.

Anyway I agree with you on the bang her part tho. By the way,looked up your profile and you are worthy of lust