₦airaland Forum

Rooneyboy: Are u sure u aren't 4ft ?.

u must be sleeping on a moving okada.... Is 4ft equivalent to 6ft ?

Jman06: I can never kneel down for a girl! I've got pride. Besides, girls apologize even when I'm wrong.

Ur pride will haunt u

frankben: I booked a flight from port harcourt to lagos... A girl was sitting just behind me and she was damn sexy... We would glance at ourselves every second whilst the journey was on... 5min later, this girl was wet and "junior" woke up immediately... I deliberately hung my hand behind her and she moaned... I whispered to her that maybe we could have a nice fvck in the toilet... She immediately agreed and we both pretended as if we wanted to pee... I left my sit first and after like 2mins, she followed...

While in the toilet, we kissed and i grabbed her bosom and told her to up-skirt which she did as though she was receiving orders from president goodluck jonathan. I started fvcking until one old man who was really pressed came knocking... An enjoyment that was supposed to last for some hours now lasted for 10mins..

Lest i forget, the man heard the girl screaming... "Oooo yea... Fvck me here... I love you.... E.t.c"..

frankben u be bad man oooooo

Make una grow up abeg and stop thinkn lik person wey stil dey suck b.reast... I was once thinkin lik dis wen I was immature.... If I can disclose my Bank acc bal to the lady am currently dating. Y won't I disclose it to my wife

Make una grow up abeg and stop thinkn lik person wey stil dey suck breast... I was once thinkin lik dis wen I was immature.... If I can disclose my Bank acc bal to the lady am currently dating. Y won't I disclose it to my wife

My worst embarrassing moment frm d opposite sex happened few years ago.... I was in sch den and needed to get food stuffs for the weekend ( Ado-igbeyin ), so my frnd and I boarded a sch bus heading straight to town... We got into the bus and my frnd was sitted right beside me.. Shld I say fortunately or unfortunately for me, a lady was sitted right in front of me wit her frnd sitting next to her... As a very tall guy ( 6ft 5in tall ), I was uncomfortable sitting in such a tight corner cos my long legs were a barrier to sitting properly... As soon as the bus started movin, my legs wld hit her back at every gallop.. At first, she turned back frawning at me and I had to quickly apologize and told her I had long legs and dat she can see dat I was sitting wit my legs shruddled .... Subsequently, my legs hit her behind and she flared up in anger saying she wld slap me if I try such rubbish wit her again... She made a false allegation against me saying I was using my JT to hit her frm behind and dat wat did I tak her for...wooooooow !!! Wat an embarrassment for my kind of person wey babes yapa for my hand...!! na so me sef vex com begin yab her inside motor... I f*cked her up big tym in a bus consisting of abt 20 software and 30 hardware.. I told her she was not evn attractive and dat even if she's unclad, my JT has right sense of erect.ion only to good software and wld neva rise for a flat-chested and unattractive babe lik her.. And u knw guys now !!! Na so guys begin dey laff in chorus.... Few minutes lata, we alighted frm d bus and I was discussing wit my frnd wen she walked up to me wit her frnd sayin al sort of rubbish.. One tin she said dat made me feel guilty and regretted evry word I uttered was dat '' I knw am ugly as u av said earlier and am very very appreciative as u made enough fun of me and made me a laffin stock in public '''. I tried to look into her eyes to say sorry, I saw tears rolling down her cheeks... Chaiiii so d gravity of wetn I talk reach dis level? na dia I begin beg her ooooo.... #Fast forward to sunday# I com baff up dey go church as an usher..Lo and behold, We met on the way buh I pretended as if I didn't see her.. Next tin, her frnd tapped her on the shoulder and said, SEE DAT GUY.. Na so I bone ooo and walkd as fast as I could... Few minutes later, could u believe she was my church member ?... Na so I begin reason say, Wetn go happen if dis babe jst go call my pastor begin narrate evrytn wey I talk

Y nt,,, I av actually not done dat b4 buh I can do dat wen a terrible situation arises....its evn a romantic way of apologizing... Guys let's learn how to start respecting ladies and say no to slavery.. We ar now in 21st century and not 1900BC

adedeji65: There was this chick I met through radio program,(hooking up shit ) We got talking after I got her number from the show, after weeks of calling we decided to meet @ camp junction in abeokuta, I was so happy and abit nervous cause it was my first blind date. I was there 30Minutes before her, I waited, called her, all she could say that she was still dressing up. I smiled and thot for a second, this girl go make sense ooo, this one She's taking her time to impress me.. After like 45mins I saw a girl in, black rough top, Ankara skirt and a scarf.. I called the babe enventually it was her, in fact it wasn't her ugliness that made me get angry but the fact that I wasted my time fantasizing about how cute she gonna be @ the junction . Before she could figure where I was I stopped a bike and zoomed off. she called to ask where I was, I told her I had to leave cause she was taking long, she was like are u not the one in brown T-shirt. omo na to cut the phone oooo

hahahahahaha dis is hilarious... Guy u too funny abeg... Buh were u d one really in brown T-shirt ?

The fact dat most companies prefer Universities graduate to Polytechnic graduates does not make dem better, jst dat the problem is frm d system... Ppl now pay little or no attention to Polytechnic Education simply because most of our polytechnics ar now dilapidated due to poor funding and no good regulating body.... The afore-stated point is the main cause y polytechnics have to bring their cut off mark so low as it is considered as second choice.... Apart frm the low cut off marks, unqualified persons as Rectors, little or no professors and so on and so forth. You do university graduates alwz get so mad and start opening their mouth removin all doubts each time dis issue of bridging the gap btw HND and Bsc is being raised.. Is it dat dey ar afraid of the challenges they wld face frm their HND counterpart despite the discrimination ?.... Universities stdnts are neva lik, evn if FG equate both Bsc/HND, we wld stil prove to dem dat dey ar far behind us.... So the question is, if Polytechnic education is reviewed and professors are deployed and its being standardized, wld u be able to prove ur HND counterpart in the same field dat u ar beta and can outsmart dem ?

Ephemmm: Guy! the simple fact is that you cannot generalize that HND graduates are suffering from inferiority complex simply because those in your social terrain are suffering from it. A further inquisition from a seasoned psychologist would further deepen your knowledge that people with certain type of personalities and backgrounds are susceptible to low self-esteem. Or have you not seen one of the most brilliant students who was suffering from inferiority complex in your undergraduate days?

For your information, the Senior Manager that I worked with before the latest merger and take-over was an HND holder with RMs who were degree holders under his supervision and he was performing excellently well. I am not here to argue, but a simple research before the latest merger and acquition in banking industries would further butress my claim that some banks accept both HND and BSc as an Executive Trainee.

Without any iota of doubt, your paradigm would be difficult to change from the way you address your point here. So, some Nigerians should be feeling like second-class citizens because they are HND graduate? It is ironical to know that Aregbesola and other governors that are HND holders are feeling like second-class citizens among their contemporaries. Also, be assured that what you will be doing may not even has anything to do with your field of study when gainfully employed: a further clarification from banking industry will further corroborate this claim.

It is high time the employers of labour concentrates on skills, talents, and productivity and desist from "certificate whorshipping".

God bless Nigeria!

broda u ar a man of wisdom..... U sound brilliantly and I love ur use of words... Kudos broda, I respect u

Mine happened abt 7 yrs ago... As at dat time, I stil had little or no courage of walkin up to a lady...Life became so boring to me as I had no female partner and to worsen d case, my frnds were givin me so much pressure of gettin one.... A guy who happened to be my neighbour gave me d num of a lady whom he attempted to date but every of his attempt to get her proved abortive... Wen he gave me the num, I decided to ring her up.. Lo and behold her voice sounded lik dat of Celine Dion... She enquired whr got her num but as a sharp guy na, there's always a way to manoeuvre your way out.... We got into each other few weeks afta I started callin day and nyt... We later scheduled to meet each other at her street and she obliged... Exactly 4pm I embarked on my journey and dressed as if I were going out of d country... I got to her street and called. She pickd and told me to keep walkin down her street.. I began to walk calling by regular intervals but the funniest tin she said was, I can see u miles away so keep comin... ghen ghen !!!! So dis babe don dey sight me frm far if I be dwarf or maybe I no go meet up to her expectations.. But I couldn't see her... I kept movin again and called, her response was I can see you nw so keep comin... Haa na wa ooo !!!! I kept movin til I got to the end of her street... Lo and behold nobody was there... I waited few minutes rotating my head lik a lady who's afraid of being rap*d...I called her and begin para... My voice dat sounds lik dat of R-kelly sounded lik Adams Oshiomole's voice for d first time.... I hanged up, I took a step foward and was goin bck in anger wen a fair lady running towards my direction at Hussain Bolt pace started sayin 'Tosin am very sorry now''.... As a tall guy nw, she got very close to me, I didn't knw how to greet her cos I cldnt hug her as our height difference was a barrier to effective hug unless if I go knee down hug her.. We shook hands and she complimented on my handsomeness and took me to her house... Dis babe was not only short, she no try at all..... Wetn vex me most na d wrong description wey she don already give me, how fashionable and sophisticated she was... We gisted for bout an hour and I told her I was leaving...I hurriedly zoomed off as if I were runnin a 100metre race

MadCow1: Thanks a lot..

Though I must say I have never read a Chase novel.. Grisham, Ludlum and Clancy are my top writers.

I envy u bro..... I wish I were also a good writer... Am not bad though

xynerise: Hmmm. Some years ago....I was still.....make I use pidgin jare .


O boy no be small thing no. Those days when boys dey hustle, na that time I experience my own o. Rose had a very Celine Dionic voice wey fit make you put your phone for loudspeaker dey listen to her voice like gbedu.

Somebody flash me one dey when I dey toilet just cut am immediately. As I call am to know who be that na so I hear one sweet voice, I no no say my airtime don almost finish na so the thing just cut. O boy, I no finish my shiit na so I rush wash yansh go buy recharge card to call her back. O boy she begin apologise say na mistake she use call me say na wrong number. I say no wahala but I no go just let this kind better just waka. It can't be mistake, e fit be destiny ......bla bla bla... We fixed a place to meet. O boy, I dey for junction dey wait this babe, no so I see one woman on top bike. I said to my self(Na girl I find come no be woman). I just no look her face. I begin ask her which colour be her cloth. She tell me orange. The same colour with the woman on top bike. O boy! As I say make I cross road enter motor dey run come house na so she site me. How she no say na me be the guy I no just know . If you see the kind tattoo wey dey this old fat woman hand you go call her ashewo immediately. O boy, this woman reach born me. Na her tattoo I use know say na the ROSE I jam. She write am boldly on her biceps come draw rose flower join......Well, the way I squeeze face make her understand say boys no happy for wetin e see at all

hahahahahahahaha guy u too funny abeg.... I laf so tey water dey comot for my eyes

lewis512: Diffrent stories with same title .......................O boy this Blind of a date still happens till now and would comtinue forever with betterment ........Mine wasn't bad just that she has lil or no boob I can say and like a Sickle celler, I just thank God the days she use at my place she no faint !!! HALLELUYAH

I can't stop laughing.... I'm so sure u deleted his num few minutes afta u departed

amsad19: It was a monday morning i was in a haste walking towards the lecture theatre for my 7am class, i jst heard my 5130 ringing i dnt bother to picked, it rang for the second time i naw received it to my greatest suprise i heard the most sweetest and spunky voice i ever heard, she said she wants to speak to Ahmad i tell ha is a wrong number she then cut off after my lectures i naw called her and asked abt her name and were she based to my suprise it was my junior sister calling me with a different number hahahahaha

hahahahahaha guy u too funny abeg

Ephemmm: Take it or leave it, teaching and lecturing is a gift/talent. And I believe from your own experience in one way or the other, you would have come accross some lecturers who upon their qulifications, always find it difficult to explain the simplest subject. In fact, NCE graduate from Oshodi College of Education can even lecture better than some Professors.

The simplest truth is that the institutions we attended sometimes do not determine our level of intelligence. People choose institutions based on many factors like -financial implications, rate of exposure, preference, availability of courses, timing of admission, the availability of sponsors, friends' factor, networking, destiny etc. So, have it at the back of your mind that some students of polytechnic possess admission qualifications that are better than that of some University students whether in WAEC or JAMB.

If you attend federal school, did you notice that nothing less than 75% of scholars comprises students who managed to get admission especially through supplementary lists? Whereas majority of those who gained admission at first batch have been rusticated even at first semester. The reason for this is not far-fetched - they have a relative who bribe their way into such institutions. In fact, majority of those students did not even sit for JAMB before they gained admission. I even had an intimate friend then who was rusticated from polytechnic and finished with 2nd Class when he gained admission into a particular University: what a coherence?

Whether Polytechnic or University, a reasonable/potential employer of labour must realize that test is the most viable means during recruitment exercise and not paper qualification. So, let's forget all this discrimination: thank God, this is common most in Federal government parastatals not in a private organization where I am working at present.

Although, I later went to University to avoid this discrimination, but if paper qualification is considered, I would not have been employed in one of Nigeria Banks, which was the first place I have ever worked in my life as we were only two that possessed HND certificate then. Interestingly, I became the most successful applicant and after the test,even without or with little experience during my NYSC at ITF headquarters, Jos, Plateau State.

However, I could remember a publication ICAN publication in the year 2009 where two best graduating students were from from the same institutions -Federal Polytechnic, Ede - unknown, unheard, unrecognize instition but which produces quality product. Is this an indication that there were no University graduate that sat for the same exam with them in that year?

So, let's forget all this discriminations. As a matter of fact, polytechnic's education is more vocational and practical as compared to University's education.

God bless Nigeria.

u ar a wise man bro

Badmushazan: education has nothing to do with grammar. It is a matter of how capable you can handle your field of study. You must be one of those people that knw how to speak but later graduate with #3rd class . No vex bro

hahahahahaha guy see washing ooooo.... Shey una don get beef b4 ni ?

Reski: The goverment can easily seat down at the comfort of abuja and make senseless policy pronouncements. But can Fg force the private sector to employ university and polytechnique grads and put them on thesame salary scale or thesame level? The govt should stop paying leap service to this issue and do the needful by doing the following as a matter of urgency.
1. Scrap the Hnd qualification. The National diploma should be redesigned to provide the needed middle level technical manpower.
2. Some polytechniques should be upgraded into full fledged universities offering b.tech degree's and an aggressive retraining of personel's of these polytechnique's should be embarked upon.
3. Those that already have the Hnd qualification should be made to undergo further training at universitie's and their certificate's upgraded to b.s.c or btech.
The bottom line is the goal's of polytechnique's should move away from institutions that provide's a silver lining to reject's from universities to school's that provide quality middle level technical manpower that will fast track the technological development of our dear country.
God bless Nigeria!
#Reski.

I love to hear wise ppl speak..... U r d wisest Bsc holder to comment on dis thread

Wen u take a white lady on a date, she myt jst take coffee and dats all.... An average Nigerian lady wld feed as if there's famine in d land

isaajibola: Let's check this out:

To show the superiority of Bsc over HND

Polytechnic lecturers: HND or Bsc?
Polytechnic lecturers: If he/she has HND certificate, he won't get promotion in the so called polytechnic
Polytechnic lecturers: Even HND certificate only does not worth to be used for lecturing in higher institution.
Polytechnic lecturers: They will still go to Uni to get their PGD, MSC or Phd

Polytechnic Administration:
Rector: Prof or Dr
HOD: Msc and co

Practicals:
No practical in polytechnic, even university do more practical than poly. Most students nowadays acquire their practicals during IT and co.

I passed through polytechnic and graduated with upper credit in EE but now in UI.
Lecturing, practicals, research if far better than polytechnic.

Even if you want to feel that you're in school, its only Uni that you can feel that

ADVICE to ND/HND:

If you don't like the way things is, I will implore you to get that Bsc and the inferiority complex will not be there again.

Question: If they ask you where you want to your child to school, you will say university.

what is dis so called man sayin ? I'd categorically say there's no room in you for wisdom evn wit ur Bsc...... Even BSc's within nigeria are not
equivalent... A BSc in OSU isnt equal to a Bsc in OAU and vice versa so y belittling polytechnic education to mak a stance ?.... D syndrome of discrimination runs in the nation as a whole.. As a matter of fact, u wld also be discriminated by ur Bsc counterpart either by GP or discriminated amongst those who obtained their own Bsc frm a reputable private university in Nigeria or a foreign university so dnt think u ar exempted frm dis discrimination simply because u obtained a degree frm Unilorin

Y ar Bsc holders afraid of dis equality ? If not dat dey ar afraid of d challenges dey wld face, y do dey quickly pick offence and flare up in anger each tym dis issue arises

It depends oooooo and it also depends on d kind of mother you av..... As for me, my mom has led me to a particular stage of my life where I wld take anytn she tells me into consideration.... My mom has d ability of perceiving bad
people dat comes around me at first sight.... Since av bin at a very tender age, anythin my mom warned me against and I ended up doin lead to regret afterwards.... So if my mom advises me to stay away frm a lady, I wld put her words by my right hand and start being careful and tactical in dealing wit such a lady

Dats wat hungry ladies do.... There's notn actually wrong bringin ur frnd along buh at least u shld av informed d guy so he wld plan for both of u.... I remembered a time lik dat, I av been toastin dis lady for a long time whc she objected but I kept pestering her and she usually came to my house frequently... She later needed moni for her GCE and I promised to give her without any sexual intention as soon as I collect my salary... D day I invited her to com for d moni, could u believe she came wit a young grl... Wen I saw her I was shocked and told her I undstnd y she brought smbdy along buh she tried to convince me dat she met on her way to my place.... I told her she messed up big tym and dat I won't giv her d moni jst because of her negative way of reasoning

Decryptor: I waited patiently for her to come out of the supermarket and moments later, she did. I saw her with the aid of my side mirror. She was clutching the bag with the items she bought and I watched her pass my car without knowing I was the one who parked. I watched her walk to the other side of the road with her hips swinging left and right and I resisted the temptation to rush out of my car and call her attention.

Instead, I went back into the supermarket and walked to the counter. I knew the owner of the supermarket very well. It belonged to a wealthy woman whose late husband was a chief from Nnewi. The guy behind the counter was Emeka, her late husband’s nephew. I usually crack jokes with him most times I come to do my shopping and in most cases, tip him and leave some change with him from the purchase.

“Haa! Oga Prince!!”, he said excitedly immediately he sighted me.

“Mekus, mekus!” I replied. We shook hands and exchanged some pleasantries.

I wasted no time to tell him of my purpose of coming. I didn’t come to buy anything today but to find out about that dark girl who wore a green top with grey skirt that just left.

“You mean that girl”, he said. “She lives down the street, her name is Amina.”

Emeka went further to tell me everything I needed to know about Amina. She was working as a house-help to one man who worked in a big company and his wife who lived in one of the houses nearby. I guessed it was the house I saw her entering from the description Emeka gave me.

“Apart from the man and his wife, who else stays in the house with them”, I asked Emeka. Having the guy I saw that day in mind.

Emeka went further to explain that the man has no children so it meant the apart from Amina, it was him and his wife that were in the house alone.

“Then who was that guy that questioned me the other day?”, I wondered to myself.

“Mekus, please when next that girl comes here again to do her shopping, call me on phone immediately”, I said.

“Hmm! Bad guy!!”, Emeka said beaming with a mischievous smile. “No wahala, you be my pesin. I go call you if she show.”, he said

I brought out my wallet and retrieved a crisp One thousand Naira note and shoved it into his hand as a reward or should I say motivation.

“Correct Guy!”, he chanted behind me while I left the exit of the supermarket.

I made for my car and drove straight home. My house was a comfortable 3-bedroom bungalow just at the south end of Donovan Crescent.

I dropped my briefcase on my study table got out of my suit which I hung in the wardrobe. I tossed my stockings and undressed until I was only on my boxers and singlet and I fell on my bed like a log of wood heads up facing the ceiling. I was quite hungry but was to tired but at the same time excited to go to the kitchen.

I just lay there with thought of Amina hovering all over my head…

…to be continued

guy u too funny abeg....I must commend u for ur eloquence and use of grammar... Thumbs up !!

Aside d discrimination, polytechnics requirement for admission and so on... Why is it dat university stdnts dnt want FG to equate dem, is it dat dey ar afraid of d challenges dey wld face frm their HND counterpart or wat ? What if FG decides to review polytechnic sysytem and equate HND and Bsc and the discrimination is totally eradicated, wld u be able to prove ur HND counterpart dat u ar beta dan dem ? Cos me I dnt knw why Bsc holders ar alwz very concerned and quickly take offence each time dis issue arises

jarkata: FEDERAL POLYTECHNIC ADO-EKITI is d best institutn in Africa, products frm dis school full oil companies pass any school,dem sabi book more dan gurus

Chairman mi, whc dept u dey jawe ?

Mcbussy: I'm not trying to say they're inferior or that uni graduates should get d jobs HND holders should be handling...I'm trying to say they're not equals cos they have different roles. naija just ain't in order,if not,B.Sc holders won't be getting HND jobs or vice versa.

If u ask me,I even see ND holders getting B.Sc jobs in banks these days as temporary/contract staffs cos d banks cut cost from hiring them.

all these irregularities are happening cos dis country is out of order.

u nailed it jawe.... I love dat bro

I can categorically say dis discrimination against polytechnic graduates ought not to be so if not for d epileptic nature of d country... If the Chinese we marvel at today were based on degree syndrome am sure dey wld not be leading in technology... Nigeria is a country full of discrimination so why bad mouthing polytechnic students wen u as a university graduate wld evn be discriminated by ur fellow Bsc holders either by GP or by institution... Even BSc's within nigeria are not
equivalent. ''Bsc OSU to Bsc Unilag discrimination.....Second class upper and second class lower discrimination... BSc and Hnd discrimination... Curve 6 and Bold 5 discrimination..... Black babe and yellow babe discrimination.... Flat chested babe and full chested babe discrimination.. As far as am concerned, nobody is exempted frm discrimination in Nigeria

Mcbussy: its not a true measurement of intelligence,but its a very good factor in judging quality of education.

if I'm to interview u and u can't get ur grammar right,u sure ain't getting d job.

I'm sure I don't need to remind u that most universities don't accept anything less than a credit in English and maths regardless of d course. meanwhile,from what i heard,most polytechnics accept pass in English for some courses and even pass in maths in others.also heard u can get in wif maybe 4 credits....how on earth do u guys expect to be at par wif B.Sc holders?

well, u made a gud point there and by d way, who' gave u false impression dat Polytechnics accpt pass in English or mathematics ?..... Pls dnt try to embitter other ppl heart by ur possession. As u claim to be a university graduate, hw wld u also feel wen ar being turned down and regarded as inferior amongst private university graduates? Dats d feeling polytechnic graduates ar having.....as we all knw dat Nigeria is a country full of discrimination,'' Bsc OSU to Bsc Unilag discrimination ''.... '' Second class upper and second class lower discrimination''.....'' BSc and Hnd discrimination ''...'' Curve 6 and Bold 5 discrimination ''.....'' Black babe and yellow babe discrimination''.... Dats d nature of d country my bro so no one is exempted