₦airaland Forum

Sisikill:
Which is why the question is ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO EMBRACE BROMANCE? If you are secure enough in your manhood, no amount of Gaydars pinging when you walk by will make a difference.

And you don't have to miss a game. . . that's why you set up you man-date in advance. 

Why should a man agree to some label just because a woman (not even another man oh) wants to pin him with it?

Must men now hold hands with other men even if they dont normally do so? Or do all these so-called "Bromantic" things?

This info is useful to gays who are trying to deliver themselves from seeing most guys as sex objects. It doesnt really apply to the average man, imo.

Sisikill:
Rotflmao. . . fainting? Oh Sly,  that is so gay! 


I can NOT believe it is taking this much work convincing guys to have more than superficial friendships with other guys! What is going on with our world? 

the problem is, they already have deep friendships with each other- why are you assuming they don't?

And why does it bother you so much?

Just asking.

Sisikill:
LMAO! What is wrong with JD and Turk? I love how open they are with each other and it is why JD can be the way he is because his friend, the person whose opinion matters to him accepts him for what he is. Of course their behavior is exagerrated for entertainment but the message is not lost.

Rotflmao! Oh Sly. . . .end times just because there is a call for men to be free with other men?

I'll repeat BROMANTICS ARE NOT GAY!!

It doesnt get gayer than that particular picture nah!    

Thats why I asked if you guys were joking, because frankly, I was puzzled.





Look at this:

J.D. is often shown to have a codependent fixation on Turk, regularly going through steep depression whenever he can't be with him, and feeling completely lost whenever Turk seems to be spending more time with anyone else. In the first episode, when Turk suggests the two of them seek separate apartments to "branch out," J.D.'s inner monologue tells himself to "Tell him you think that's stupid. Tell him you need him." Later in the first season, Turk begins to spend more time with Carla, much to J.D.'s chagrin. In "My Best Friend's Mistake", J.D. tells Turk, "I miss you so much, it hurts sometimes."

J.D. and Turk are once referred to as "an adorable interracial gay couple" after Denise the Paramedic observes them running down the street. Carla has complained that J.D. and Turk "are more of a couple than [she and Turk] are," and once lamented, "Maybe someday [Turk]'ll love me like that." J.D. often refers to Turk by any one of three different pet names: Brown Bear, Chocolate Bear, and Super Chocolate Bear (S.C.B) or numerous variations. Continuing in this theme he often refers to Turk and Carla's daughter, Izzy, as "Mocha Cub". In "My Cake", J.D. fantasizes about almost kissing Turk (prompting him to yell out "I don't have gay jungle fever!", right after the fantasy in which he almost kisses resident psychiatrist Molly Clock.[6] It is implied in the episode "My Cabbage" that J.D. and Turk had drunkenly kissed each other as college students over 12 years ago. J.D. does kiss Turk once in "My Big Move", only to show him what the "friend kiss" he shared with Carla was like.

It is also revealed in the episode "My Fishbowl" that while in college Turk had sex with J.D.'s then girlfriend Stacy. Turk had previously claimed that they had a water balloon fight and wrapped up in the covers to keep warm. In a later episode Turk did admit after a lot of pestering from J.D. ("I looked everywhere. There were no water balloons!" that he did sleep with Stacy. J.D. and Turk have many strange habits and agreements e.g. in "His Story IV" Turk agrees to let Carla be called "pickle" so J.D. can call Izzy "little gherkin". In the same episode they make a reference to their pact of not reading the newspaper during an argument about the Iraq War. He also allegedly showed up drunk at Carla's bridal shower screaming that she "would never be as emotionally close to Turk as he was."


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Dorian

Possible alternate storyline for the series:

JD and Turk come out of the closet and decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together, with each other. Their fiancees/girlfriends are devastated and heartbroken, but eventually "accept" their decision. All live happily ever after. Sound familiar?

Remember- the writers can tweak the show any way they want.

Sisikill:
You are misunderstanding me, it is not the gays. I honestly couldn't careless about them (I'm not homophobic or at least I think I'm not), it is about changing our mindset and stop seeing things where there is nothing to see. Why read meaning into something as innocent as guys holding hands? Why not wait until they are tongue kissing, caressing and handling each other before jumpng to conclusions?

Let our men be free to have deep friendship with other men.

Men dont need permission to have deep friendships with each other. Its normal.

The gay meanings being used in normal situations, are used in the gay lifestyle. Its not people reading meanings into anything- its what gays themselves do, and are fully aware of. Regular, ordinary, casual contact can have a different significance depending on whether someone is gay or straight.

The Nigerian context is different from the western one. If someone is dating a guy in the west, who is always holding hands with other guys, she'd better be careful.

Sisikill:
I agree! That's why I think it's time to take back GUY LOVE from the Gay side. Why should guys miss out on having deep meaningful friendships just because some people might thin it is Gay and what happened to not living your life based on what others think?

Oh yeah, I think time to embrace BROMANCE.

you can't beat gays at their own game, trust me.

Its a mindset, not just a set of rules.

Sisikill:
Oh come on Guys! Clear your minds of all the corrupted beliefs about two guys sharing a deep friendship and see what what Bromance is really all. Being in a BROMANCE indicates a level of trust hitherto only witnessed in female friendships. Aren't you tired of living life on egg shells??!!

Bromantics are not Gay!!

The thing is- friendship doesnt need to be labelled. Only a gay person would think otherwise, because for them, friendship almost always tends to have a sexual connotation.  Its the sad truth.

Romance tends to involve sex. Or an anticipated sexual fantasy/strong emotional non-platonic attachment. Thats why I think the word Bromance must have been invented by a gay person who doesnt understand the idea of non-sexual male communication.

Eros as opposed to platonic relationship, is whats being muddled here.

HABA!!!!!!!!!!

Karma and Sisikill- are you really using JD and Turk as examples?

is this a joke?

Sisikill:
LMAO! Oh my Goodness, I can't stop laughing. This is not sarcasm. . . not this time. I know he said IN LOVE but I don't think it's gay love but BROMANCE!!

It's sad how men are shortchanged when it comes to friendship. Women can openly hold hand, sit on each others laps, fondly touch each other and no one makes a huge deal but guys have to be careful. It's so not right and it's high time we set things straight!

Let's discuss Bromance. . .
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-165719.0.html

the thing is men are different from women, and besides, anyone who knows something about the gay lifestyle, is aware that there are many body postures and signals they use to communicate with each other. The average person may be ignorant of such, but the gays understand themselves. Especially abroad. Maybe not so much in Nigeria ( yet), but definitely overseas.

If ordinary[b] toe tapping in a public toilet [/b] is a signal to other gays, how much more hand holding and the like. In the US and the western world, if you see two guys holding hands and acting all lovey dovey, your refusal to acknowledge their gayness, only shows you as blinding yourself to reality.

Anyone whose husband makes a habit of holding hands with other men (especially abroad), had better watch that husband before he springs a surprise announcement that he's leaving her for another man. Or before she catches him having sex with his gay partner.

This is how some women can be married to a guy for so  many years without realising he's on the downlow. Because they may be ignoring the telltale signs. After the secret is exposed, then some women realise it may have been obvious all along.

A guy who makes a habit of brushing against some other guy/s at a party or nightclub, is also a warning sign.

no need to blindly parrot everything Obama says nah.


Obama zombies do this all the time, and its alarming and smacks of Hitler.

There's nothing romantic about guys hanging out in the normal sense, and it doesnt need to be labelled, imo.

Friendship is friendship, and guys do these things all the time without any hidden undercurrents or ulterior motives.

I think the whole bromance concept must have originated from a gay person who cant comprehend there's such a thing as male friendship with no strings attached.

sad, really.

who broke Yongeze's heart?

Thats not good nah.

Nairaland women, stop playing games with this poor guy.

tomato, tomahtoh.

Ibime:
Tpia, you can't tell a joke when you hear one?

Ijaw this, Ijaw that - the whole niger-Delta process has been inclusive from day one. Ijaws took the lead as the largest tribe in Niger Delta and invited other tribes to join them. Infact, go and google the Kaiama declaration where the Ijaw called for other tribes to work with them. Haters will hate - frankly, I don't give a phock what known haters like Bawomolo and such think. This is the first time in Nigerian history that different tribes have collaborated toward a common goal since Biafra. You better believe that the Niger Delta process is all inclusive. Go and ask Debosky how many times MEND have operated in Akwa-Ibom state, including Bakassi. No problem there. Itsekiris are part of MEND - infact, it was MEND who called for end to fighting between Ijaws and Itsekiris in Bendel side, that is why that situation has died down somewhat. Ohanaeze Igbo have come out fully in support of Niger Delta. WTF are you talking about? Haters! How many Yorubas are part of Niger Delta? Are you talking about the Ijaw villages in Ondo State?

na joke me too dey joke nah.




But seriously, why are the Ijaws always fighting?

Ijaws vs Itsekiri in Delta state

Ijaws vs Yoruba(?)  Ondo State

Ijaws vs shell/Nigeria- Niger Delta.

It seems everywhere they are, its one fight or another. Na everybody dey offend them?

I just checked my email today and noticed one from an Ugandan fellow.

Am sure his hometown dey inside naija.

Vieira:
Blacks are genetically disadvantaged when it comes to swimming.



It is like starting the race with weights on our backs!

I'm sure this can be disproved.

All Africans are not the same. They're as varied as any other race, if not more.

They can marry but there may be some conflict along the line, over which church the kids will be baptized and raised in, etc etc. Especially if its the female who's Catholic. The church dogma can be pretty strict about such things.

So if you're an ardent catholic (ie a very committed one), just be aware of these issues.

Not a problem is you're the lackadaisical type though.

If the male half is the one who is Catholic, then after some time (could be up to a decade or longer), there might be some pressure on the wife to convert, if she hasnt already done so by that time.

Ibime:
WillyWilly, abeg next time wey this guy reach PH in de name of oil exploration, make una kidnap am for me. 

see, this is why people find the Niger Delta so fuzzy.

You're asking willywilly to kidnap someone, as if you yourself no be kidnapper.

Try to pull the wool over people's eyes, why don't you.


As the Yoruba say- whats the difference between Hausa and Fulani.

This is like Evbu my Love all over again.

In fact, almost the exact same scenarios were played out here.

I wonder if the book was based on real life or something.

hey there.

Long time.

This ya picture still dey ya profile?


I remember the time you and your crush Cashewjoy had a little something going on there. I laff tire.

You get liver sha.

this thread still dey?

Anyway, na all kind church dey spring up for everywhere, so one church where condoms should definitely be distributed is that gay church thats advertising itself all over the place.

akx:
Was packing stuff, and came across a not too old comedy, "Three men and a baby". It wuz very funny, can't remember the name of the actors though,

Tom Selleck, Ted Danson (cute guy!) and Steve Gutenberg. Nice movie- I watched it some months ago.

why Seun never choose one of these girls wey dey admire am everytime nah?

abi im dey do secret relationship for here?

The lady is rather unknown.

There's probably an oil connection somewhere.

Have to say its very puzzling.

Its a miracle the bride or groom werent themselves stuck in traffic and forced to miss their own wedding.

WilyWily:
Thanks to the Freedom Fighters(MEND), For their Heroic Rescued of the Julius Berger Workers from hands of Dirty Stinking ugly looking FULANI/HAUSA/YORUBA thugs called Nigeria Soldiers.

na jealousy dey worry you.

Is it a crime to be fine.

ANY TOWN OR VILLAGE THAT TELLS ME I HAVE TO BE THEIR OBA HAD BETTER UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF PART TIME OBASHIP.

I'm just kidding. I would turn them down flat.

nzeaji:
Maybe you see it from the New Zealand(ish) point of view (probably because you are there) but from the Nigerian point of view, it's just not done.

     OBA========> DRIVER     NO!

well, its been done now. Change is good.

alabees:
ARE WILL STILL  AMAZING THAT OYINBO MEDIA WILL DO EVERYTHING TO RUBBISH AFRICAN CULTURES.

THEY MADE US TO BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING AFRICAN IS OBSOLETE, ARCHAIC AND PRIMITIVE.

ENGLISH IS A ONLY LANGUAGE OUR CHILDREN KNOW HOW TO SPEAK, LOOSE DRESSES ARE  THE ONLY DRESS OUR GIRLS KNOW TO WEAR, MR.BIGGS ARE THE FOOD OUR GENERATION KNOW HOW EAT.

EVERYTHING AFRICAN HAS BEEN DEFACED.

REPORTS THAT AN AFRICAN OBA WAS DRIVING COMMERCIAL BUS OVERSEAS IN ANOTHER WAY OF RUBBISHING AFRICAN ROYAL INSTITUTION. WE NEED TO DISCARD THIS INFORMATION.

I BELIEVE IT IS A FALLACY.

what on earth are you finding insulting about the article? It was written in a very fair and balanced way.

Must people always be so sensitive?




[quote author=A-town link=topic=165058.msg2723221#msg2723221 date=1220004098]Excuse me, eh eh   , Dual Citizenship!!!!!!!!!!!
He might be an Oba, There are different grades of kings, You have the major ones like benin,ife, sokoto whilst there are smaller kingdoms who have their own obas. It is not news. My friends dad is an Oba and he lives in lagos. He only goes to the kingdom on weekends. He was given the throne while he was working for an oil company and he kept his job!!! Theres no big deal in this[/quote]thank you!

This guy isnt the only Oba who lives elsewhere.

Must people be forced to stay somewhere they dont want to, and miss opportunities in life, all in the name of tradition?

How many of the people shouting on this thread, live in their villages?

nzeaji:
Chei!!!
 
OBA DON FALL MY HAND.

IS THAT NOT A DISREGARD TO THE ROYAL THRONE

IMAGINE OBA OF BENIN OR QUEEN OF ENGLAND DOING THE SAME

no, its not a disgracce to any royal throne.

He has a honest occupation- should he be transporting drugs instead? Or hanging around waiting for handouts and killing goats and chickens for sacrifice?

He's setting a good example for his people. There is dignity in labor.  The only comma here is the number of children- probably from more than one wife. But at least he's working to support them. If more Nigerians thought like him, the nation would be a better place.

And comparing him to Oba of Benin or Queen of England is far fetched. In any case, if either of the two decided they wanted some experience in everyday employment, then its their choice, imo. It doesnt take away from their authority. Thats one of the things William and Harry sometimes wish for- just to experience life as an ordinary person.

not much.

the kidnappings are confusing.

One doesnt know who is MEND and who is the other "armed gang".

They could be one and the same, for all anyone knows.

However, it generally does get reported when the kidnapping victims are released.

That's more important than knowing the monikers of the various armed groups in the region.

Its like knowing the names of all the 300 tribes in Nigeria. Why bother.

How Jews Became Not Just White Folks

American Jewish history is hardly un-diverse, filled as it is with successive flows of immigrants landing on these shores, from the earliest Sephardim to German Jews to Eastern Europeans. By the early 20th century, Jews were not only varied in their ethnic and national backgrounds, they were also divided into sub-tribes by their clashing ideological commitments: secularist, religious, Bundist, socialist, anarchist, Zionist, anti-Zionist and so on.

Along with this variety came the dynamics of a social pecking order. For instance, as immigrants from Eastern Europe arrived in the late-19th and early-20th centuries, they were expected to conform and adapt to the sensibility and style of the more established and better-off German Jews, who themselves were hypersensitive about the reactions of the American Protestant elite of that time. They feared that their hard-won position would be disrupted by their wretched Eastern European cousins. In this climate, the concern was about conforming and being respectable, rather than celebrating diversity.

All this took place in an American societal milieu in which being Jewish was a significant social handicap, leading Mordecai Kaplan to note (astonishingly to our ears) in 1937 that the “average Jew today is conscious of his Judaism as one is conscious of a diseased organ that gives notice of its existence by causing pain.” To avoid being viewed as outré, they sought to conform to norms and values of the American mainstream, resulting in a rise in nose jobs, name changes and other adaptations to get away from being, or at least looking, “too Jewish.”

By the 1960s, Jews had become part of “white” American landscape, and being Jewish ceased to be, sociologically speaking, a burden. It no longer stood in the way of getting accepted to school, finding a job or living in a particular neighborhood. At that time, Jewish attention to the notion of diversity was focused outward, rather than inward, and it involved working to diversify the mainstream by advocating for equal rights and anti-discrimination

http://www.forward.com/articles/10985/

From a different angle, diversity often appears on the horizon as a response to hegemony, and in this regard American Jews are certainly seen as part of the mainstream. “Jewish” is no longer synonymous with “outsider,” as illustrated by the comments of a 22-year-old I interviewed 10 years ago: “Have I ever felt marginal because I’m Jewish?! No!… I would say that being Jewish, if anything, puts me more into the sphere of influence than someone who is not Jewish.”

Today such attitudes are probably even more widespread. This social transformation reminds me of the ugly duckling becoming a graceful swan.

According to this view, the recent interest in exploring the racial and ethnic diversity of American Jewry might signal changes affecting the American mainstream more broadly. Sociologist Richard Alba noted recently that the story of whiteness “has been powerful because it has demonstrated simultaneously the centrality of race to the American experience and the astonishing mutability of race.” And so, too, with any social category, Jewishness included.

So “Jewish” — a category that became completely “white” in the American racial categorization — is beginning to broaden to include a wider range of racial and ethnic options, among other characteristics.

Comments

Ben Levi said:

When talking with American Jews, you often hear the following statement: "My grandfather was Russian, and my grandmother was Polish, " However, if we could actually talk to these grandparents, we would find out that they didn't see themselves as Russian/Polish - they were Jews (and neither grandparent saw the other as a "foreigner". However, in the American Jewish experience, one's nationality has become "American" - and one (wrongly) assumes, therefore, that in former times there was a parallel self-identity ("my grandfather was Russian". The claim of this article that the Jews of the early 20th century were of varied "ethnic and national backgrounds" is not true. It is today's sociology and terminology being thrown back one hundred years, creating a statement that our grandparents would not agree with. The Jews saw themselves as Jews by nationality. "Nation" is a group of people who have a common descent (from the Latin word for "birth" - not the name of the government that issues you your passport. "Ethnic", likewise, is a Greek word derived from "people". The Jews are an ancient people, not various ancient peoples. The Jews share a common nationhood (descent), not various nationhoods.

David said:

To Ben Levi, 'm sorry to say that you are completely wrong.

Our grandparents definitely DID distinguish themselves from one another as being Polish, Russian (usually meaning Litvak), Hungarian, Romanian and so on. Not because they considered themselves Poles or Russians or whatever their passport said (they considered themselves Jews and were considered so by others), but because these different, albeit overlapping, Jewish communities were not culturally or even religiously identical.

Even within these communities, they came from different places. My own family came from a predominantly Jewish town in what is now Belarus, but was at different times in Lithuania, Russia and Poland. Culturally, this was a strongly Litvak community, close to several major "Lithuanian" yeshivas. It's inhabitants would never have described themselves as Polish, or as Polish Jews, even when the town was part of Poland or when they were given Polish passports. But they did consider themselves to be Russian/Lithuanian Jews, as distinct from Polish Jews.

And they were ethnically diverse. Some families had arrived there up the trade routes from Turkey long before the arrival of Yiddish-speaking Ashkenazi Jews from Germany and Poland. Others were Karaites. There are stories about certain families who would keep old Karaite customs. And they intermarried with each other, of course.

They might now have considered themselves "Russians" or "Poles," but they were certainly ethnically diverse.

Jack said:

Jews are a tribe, ostensibly derivative mainly from the remaining tribe of Judah, however even since the time of the Biblical Exodus, a "mixed multitude." However, since the time of Ezra, the rabbinical definition of "who is a Jew" has remained constant: (a) one born of a Jewish mother, or (b) one who has been "converted" (i.e., accepted into the tribe) in accordance to rabbinical law, based on the credo of Ruth from the Book of Ruth:"Your nation shall be my nation; your God shall be my God." So the question of whether "Jew" is representative of some race, or "just" another religion is moot. A Jew is the member of a tribe whose tribal religion, law and lore, are rooted in 3000 or more years of history.

I find the use of "tribe" interesting here. It seems to indicate non-assimilation, or a closed culture/society.  Also, there's a connection between the notion of tribe, whiteness and religion. As in , the more you identify with the first one, the less you identify with the other. And vice versa. In ancient times, Jews made a clear distinction between themselves and gentiles. The question here seems to be more about how Jews came to be assimilated into the Gentile nations. "White" is a recent term, relatively speaking. The whole thing is like a pandora's box, really.

If you like washing your girlfriend's undies, must you make a thread about it? The undies na diamond?

If you don't like, wont the undies (hopefully) still get washed in any case?

And what are washing machines for?

In any case, please stop pretending washing undies is a sign of love. All it shows is that you like washing underwear/undies, thats all. Nothing more than that, imo.

Geez, what is it with some naija guys and washing their girlfriend/spouse's underwear?

ah ah- na Richyblack dey abuse person like this? See so many pages springing up between now and yesterday.

I think say Richyblack na gentle person - abi I dey confuse him with someone else?


This sistawoman's husband dey cause trouble oh.

He should take it easy sha- he may be creating wounds that will be difficult to heal.