₦airaland Forum

timonski:
You are the one to get a refund. So you don't understand sarcasm? Then the internet must be a very horrible place for you.

Read the post again. Then point out the "sarcasm" in it.

Seun:
Three more proofs of God's existence:

1. We all know that flying is impossible. If you jump off a tall building while flapping your arms like a bird, you'll fall and die. If humans cannot fly, why is it that birds which are dumber and not as strong as us are able to fly? There is only one satisfactory explanation. Birds can fly because an intelligent being with many hands grabs birds when they flap their wings, lifts them up, and takes them to their destinations.

2. We all know that breathing under water is impossible. People who can't swim tend to drown in deep water. Divers have to carry oxygen tanks so they can breath underwater. Yet fish, which not as intelligent as human beings are able to spend all their time under water and not drown. This miraculous ability must have come from an intelligent being who constantly blows fresh air into every fish's lungs.

3. We all know that sand cannot think. Sand cannot do maths. Sand cannot play chess. Yet computer chips, which are made of sand, can do all this things. There must be an intelligent being that possesses the sand during microchip production and from that moment conducts all the tasks of intelligent reasoning that computers, which are made of chips, made of sand, perform. An intelligent being who makes sand smart.

In each of the above cases the intelligent being is God. He holds birds in the sky, blows the fish, and makes sand intelligent like himself.

I doubt if the writer of this twaddle is the real Seun Osewa who founded Nairaland.
If it is indeed him then we are a funny country if even our techies are so bereft of a basic understanding about how the laws of physics work.
Some birds fly because their wings and bodies have evolved the necessary aerodynamic properties and features that enable them to function in flight. Any bright JSS student with a minimum grasp of Newtonian physics and the laws of gravity will understand that fact, but the founder of Nairaland apparently does not. What a shame.
I'd advise Mr. Osewa to go back to the school which certified him as a graduate and ask for a refund of all the tuition money he gave them, from year one to graduation because they have failed him.

ukemeramat:
This our problem as blacks,.always standing on the hands,waiting for reason to criticize. This not abt the white garment churches. Travel to Ghana and go and see how all this new generation pastors get their fake powers.the devil is waging war against Christianity with elements like this and must becareful of how we generalize.

Agreed that the devil is waging war against Christianity. But one of the chief instruments of the devil in his war against the Faith is the so-called C and S or white garment churches.
Their members are so carnal and promiscuous. I know several of them so I'm not generalising. And in their sermons they even read from the koran! If that is not the devil's seal, I don't know what else qualifies.
Read about the life of one of the founders of these white garment churches, a fake prophet called Oshoffa and you will stunned by how gullible many so-called Christians are that they would believe such a charlatan to be a prophet.

[b][/b]“Jessica was an amazing woman and if that’s how she chose to make a living then that was her choice.”

An amazing Olosho who died in active service. They should give her guard of honour and bury her in a di.c.k shaped coffin.

Braj:
Hypocrate!!!

What's a "hypocrate?"

Braj:
...and he is a real Christian. Rubish!

Your comment doesn't make any sense.

confamgist237:
THE police in Edo State are currently on the hunt for a pastor identified as Henry Ojochunu Ekukpe, who was alleged to have stabbed her 29-year-old wife, Patience Ekukpe, in the presence of their six-month-old baby and escaped, leaving behind a note with 10 questions, apparently meant for his wife to answer.

The Guardian gathered that the couple got married in September 2014 but have been having issues that led to his leaving the house at No. 19 Uloko Street, Okpoghe Quarters, in Eyaen, New Aduwawa.

The runaway murderer is said to be the pastor of the Mountain of Victory and Fire Deliverance Ministry aka Power and Prophetic Church. It was gathered that the victim left her matrimonial home for some months until her husband invited her in the disguise that they want to resolve their crisis.

The Police Public Relations Officer, Abiodun Osifo, who confirmed the incident described it as “tragic and barbaric” and vowed that the culprit would be arrested and brought to book.

The Guardian obtained a copy of the statement left behind by the fleeing pastor and the 10 questions included:

“Have we ever in life went to beg for food ever since we got married? Has your mother ever brought food for us to eat one day because of hunger? Have I not told you at the beginning that I hate someone insulting me? In the first place, did you really come out with your own full mind? Did you come to marry me because of money or for who I am? Who gave you the order to pack your property away from our home? Who is your adviser in this marriage that is polluting your mind against me? You always pray that God should help you to eat the fruit of your labour? So, no man has the power to take one’s life but today we are going together. So how do you feel now?”


http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/2016/02/pastor-hacks-wife-to-death-leaves-note-before-escape/

Pentecostals, sigh.

MrPresident1:
who are the Jews is my question to you? Who are they today?

They are the remnants of tribes of Judah and Benjamin who were dispersed into the diaspora after the destruction of Jerusalem by the Romans in the year 70 A.D.

They settled in Europe and parts of the Middle East and North Africa.

The Jews who stayed in the Middle East became known as Mizrahi Jews, while the ones who went to Europe became known as Ashkenazi Jews.

Today they are found mainly in Israel with significant populations in the United States and parts of Western and Eastern Europe.

tosyne2much:
Baba I no know say u sef be stubborn toaster ooooo

Na love dey shack me

I've always said that C and S are not real Christians. They're heretics.

tosyne2much:
Baba, u still dey dis country so?

Wherever you dey, na for dia I go find my happiness.

MrPresident1:
[/b]

Just so we are clear on this, who do you think are the original Jews, the Jews of the Bible?

The Jews are the biological descendants of the three Patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Specifically the 12 sons of the third patriarch, Jacob.

menabae:
Hehehehhehe that no 1 nd 2 I do that a lot..

Good Lord! I just scoped your profile pic and I'm tempted by this your Miss World appearance to become a stubborn toaster

MrPresident1:
God is the husband of Israel, in the Bible Israel is depicted as a woman. Now God leads Israel through Adam, Adam is the codename for the rulers of Israel, Eve is the code name for the masses of Israel (I am not talking about the fake jews of today but the ancient israelites), God's spirit was in Adam to provide spiritual leadership and guidance to the masses of Israel, in effect, Adam was God in this relationship. It was a marriage relationship wherein Adam the leaders were married to Eve the masses. Adam and Eve were commanded to bear children meaning go and teach other people the ways of God, both of you provide spiritual guidance and leadership to the masses of the world symbolically presented as be 'fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth'. Adam and Eve as one were supposed to be the husband of the world, but they fell.

Fake Jews? There are no fake Jews. Apart from the ones we have in Nigeria.
All Jews today are descendants of the two Southern Tribes of Benjamin and Judah who were left behind after the 10 tribes of the Northern Kingdom were led away into captivity by the Assyrians.
Jesus was of the tribe of Judah and Paul the Apostle was of the tribe of Benjamin. All people called Jews today trace their lineages to these sources.

Pyrrho:
[b]MrPresident1 only exposed the irrationality of following some primitive culture in our current societies.

It is obvious that the Bible promotes Jewish old cultural morals and the basis for adhering to them is "Yahweh the God of fore-father, Abraham, said so". Every other religion in the world also has moral teachings that conforms to the culture of its original race. Our African religious morals were deduced from our beliefs, and the "gods of our land" was the authoritative backing.

These are some of the reasons we can't adopt these old-fashioned cultures as standards for living our lives.

If you all(christians) are true to your beliefs, no girl or woman will be speaking on this matter... There were no women-prophet in the Bible, how could there be? No one would listen to a woman...
I know many of you are already warming-up to prove me wrong with Esther and the likes... We know they are not Prophets.

Women were not only instructed to submit, there were only but wives and concubines to men.

Paul also stated that they should not speak in the church. I don't blame him either, women can be a lot of trouble.

But for the sake of respect to our own intellect, let us agree that the Bible was fashioned to suit the culture in old jewish traditions, like every other religion in the world. Even the whites still maintained their culture after adopting Christianity. They had a culture of respecting the Lady of the house, and they were authoritative at that. Since the white introduced their own version of christianity to us, we can all see where our defence for women rights emanated from.

I'm sometimes accused of being too blunt. This is how I best present my position on issues like this. [/b]

Paul always pointed out that the whole essence of Christianity is that it accomodates everyone, both Jew and Gentile. And the scripture passage on how women ought to conduct themselves in Church was addressed to all Christians be they Jew or Gentile. In fact I believe it was contained in his Epistle to the Church in Corinth and the Corinthians were gentiles.
The point is that it will be dangerous for us to start cherry-picking through scripture taking what pleases us and discarding whatever we don't like under the dubious guise of saying that it is Jewish culture.

Ishilove:
Semantics shemantics

*rolls eyes*

God is the husband of PMB?!? You mean the Almighty is......I can't bring myself to say it.

Jadekitana:
I joined this forum not long ago and whenever i'm less busy I peruse through different sections to see what's happening around the world. However I wouldn't be content if I didn't create a thread on what i'v noticed in this Job/vacancy section.

First I noticed we have lots of jobless graduates in Nigeria which makes me really sad and most people don't really have support from families to start a lucrative business unlike myself who had that on a platter of gold courtesy my folks. However if I had my way I would have employed others! That's a topic for another day.

In this job section I noticed a particular wicked trend. A lot of graduates have this myopic mentality of not disclosing information to others,i don't know if they feel that's good or the economy has made them so greedy. You see someone create a topic like:

Hello all,i got an aptitude test/interview from olofofo company how do I prepare....... and then a helpless graduate quickly asks "how did u apply,pls share the link let me apply as well" then the OP goes automatically mute! Some even reluctantly say "I can't remember how I applied, sha check their website" a job u recently applied for,you can't remember?

In life there nothing like "na me go carry first" everybody has a different race entirely,if you can't help others,how do u expect others to help you? Greed doesn't pay! In my school days all the greedy ones who dealt with their colleagues to make 1st class are still struggling today,while the average ones who felt relegated are excelling in big companies. The "oversabi's" and snitches are now so ashamed to mix with others after graduation.

If you want to excel in life drop the self-centred attitude,it doesn't pay. Help your fellow graduates,post links for jobs,post the e-mails you submitted to,if u hear of latest recruitment help others,be like Debbie who takes out time to help others even in her busy life. It's not when your offer letter drops,you rush here to post "nairalanders help me praise jah jehovah emmanuel, offer letter just dropped" that's a very selfish attitude.

The lady who introduced me to fashion business was someone I allowed to squat with me during NYSC. Today she has 2 boutiques on the island,helped me secure a space and sent many customers to patronise me. You never know what your good would do for you in future, Nigerian graduates help one another,the race isn't for the swift, selfishness doesn't guarantee you that position,hoarding info wouldn't make you the only person destined for the job, be NICE.

A word they say is enough for the wise.

Is your profile pic for real? If so, you don grab my attention.

Is your profile pic for real? If so, you don grab my attention.

Igbo on Igbo violence. Omase o.

Lalasticlala is also from Ekiti State......

honsule:
Talking of Netflix my account was debited 9.9USD automatically after my trial expired on 14th Feb.i hardly stream movies, even though i have unlimited data.i will disable my account before ending of march .

9.9 USD rounded up to 10 USD is not bad even at the current exchange rate of 400 naira to 1 dollar. 10 USD is N 4000 which is still more affordable than the 14,000 which DSTV charges for its Premium Bouquet. And it is View on Demand which means you can watch whenever you feel like watching instead of waiting on a timetable like normal cable channels. You can even download content even though that will attract additional charges.

On the whole I think I like Netflix.

BabaArmstrong:
And I dont have 3g since last night and no light since Friday .

Smile na 4g. No need for light as far as you buy the smifi. It can be recharged with powerbank.

shithapuns:
REDUCE YOUR PRICE,
UNLIMITED IS 20K/MONTH!

You be correct G. At 20k per month how we go fit take advantage of Netflix?

A prostitute named "Edo". I swear you can't make these things up.

Sick, twisted and degraded............

Sucking b.r.e.a.s.t is your purpose in life abi? You ain't seen nothing yet.

Lennykin:
Hpe he's a good player

Dis one na 419

I won't be surprised if they planned this as a publicity stunt.

They all seem to be in a good mood

A few months ago, I had a disheartening conversation with a US-based Nigerian friend. His uncle’s wife was standing at a country road waiting for a bus when she crumpled to the ground. Passersby gathered, loaded her in a vehicle, and raced to a local hospital.
The patient was still alive when they arrived at the hospital. There was a doctor on duty, which should have been good news. But this doctor had less faith in medicine than in spiritual intervention. The doctor did not check the patient’s pulse. He did not gauge her blood pressure. He didn’t bother to listen to her heart. Instead, he asked his nurses and the Good Samaritans who brought in the woman to form a circle around the patient. Then, extending a hand over the woman’s supine body, (and inviting his nurses and others to do the same) the doctor began to utter a torrent of prayers. He reminded the Devil (ever-present in Nigeria) that the Devil was a liar. He ordered the affliction that had felled the woman to release the woman and “return to sender.” He importuned God to demonstrate His majesty and power by raising the woman back to her feet.
The doctor kept up the racket for about an hour, as sweat poured from his body. Then he calmed down, his energy spent. It dawned on him that the woman had passed away while he, the supposed man of medicine, played a televangelist, the good doctor solemnly announced that God had decided not to heal the patient."

Deliver us from this kind of evil, O Lord.......

A lot of baes can tap from this wisdom