₦airaland Forum

I never knew nairaland is full of comedians. The comments I read just triggered uncontrolled laughter.

sukkot:
now guys understand that i somehow have the feeling that i got cheated. in fact i know i got cheated but i would need you guys to tell me if i got cheated or i did well. but that is not the story. the story is this so she brought the plantain. six in total and said 2000 and i knew right away i was being cheated but see sometimes as humans we have to look past this being possessive with our money stuff. you have to once in a while ( or frequently ) reward people who are trying and making an effort to succeed. dont always feel the need to squeeze every last drop of your change out of people or to beat peoples prices down to the point where they cant make a living themselves. ALWAYS have some bit of compassion for people and think about their survival too. stop pricing down people to where they can hardly make a living after working so hard

and so back to my story i looked at this woman, she is sitting under the sun all day i looked at her tray, there is maybe like 7 bunches of plantain in there. am thinking if she sells all today she gets 14000 but of course she bought the plantain somewhere else so she has to pay for the plantain too so at the end of the day what is her profit margin ? maybe for herself for the whole day maybe 3000 ? and she will buy food while sitting there for 10 hours so maybe she takes home 2000 ? she looked like she has children she will have bills and expenses etc etc etc. MY POINT IS THAT I KNEW I WAS GETTING CHEATED BY BUYING THAT PLANTAIN FOR 2000 BUT I DIDNT MIND GETTING CHEATED BECAUSE SOMETMES YOU JUST HAVE TO REWARD PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING SO HARD. AND SO I GAVE HER THE 2000 AND HOPE HER LIFE IS FINE.

Must you announce your good works? Give secretly and get your reward openly. This is a biblical principle.

I thought that dog don't eat dogs up there in the north. Maybe he offended them. Otherwise, fulani will not attack fulanis.

ndukwejoe:
If a General is attacked successfull what will happen to civilian

When they are through dealing with the military, they will begin to face defenseless civilians. This is all because the military is fighting them with kids glove.

The serpent you do not deal with today will one day become a dragon that will deal with you.

MerciMe:
Why do 5-10 years need swimming practice sessions for heaven's sakes?

It' high time school owners vet non-schooling engagements they expose their students to. See, now, such good will and years of efforts will flush through the drain over some non-sensical activity that would have been suggested by a fool

Just my thought. 5 years for swimming lessons. And they took them to the adult section? And no one noticed when he fell into the swimming pool? And he was under water for over 30 minutes? Something is fishing here.

That school should be closed down.
The ministry of education should begin to monitor extra curriculum activities going on in schools.

Where did it happen? Was she the only officer in that check point? Who were the other officers working with her? What did the other officers do when she was driven off?

If she was alone, then it was an illegal checking point. No station post just one officer to a check point.

And where was their operational vehicle?

So many questions begging for answers.

subsidywise18:
Ihenacho had 46 appearances for Man City in two seasons and scored 12 goals...or average 6 goals a season , with an average of 23 games per season.

Gabriel Jesus in his first season for City had 7 goals and 4 assists in the eleven games he played that season (he had an injury that knocked him out). He has had 158 appearances for Man City and scored 58 goals...ie an average of eleven goals per season...five better than Ihenacho's average.

Jesus is better than Iheanacho. And no, I don't hate Iheanacho. At lecister he has scored 25 goals in 121 appearances...something like 5 goals per season on average, 6 less than Jesus for the same period.

What was Kelechi performance in his first season with Manchester city? And in the second season, how many games did he start? When you put a player in a game towards the end, you call it appearance? I need more details.

At what point did he have the highest goals per minute in EPL higher than Aguero? He was in the news then.

Also include his goals in all competitions.

What is the current form and performance of Gabriel Jesus this season?

donbenie:
What does Kelechi Iheanacho got to do with Nedum Onuoha and his time in Man City?
And since he left for Leicester City..
How many trees have he uprooted?
Or is that also Pep fault?

Pep was the one who started to destroy his career. He has made reasonable mark in Leicester City though he is certainly not in form this season. But there was a time he was on the news last season scoring in almost every game for a few weeks.

subsidywise18:
Toure left Barca because Man city dangled a nice juicier contract

Nedum left Man city 4 years before they even considered Pep as their next manager

What about Kelechi Iheanacho who had the highest goals per match scoring ratio when he joined Manchester city. Immediately Pep came in, he benched him for Gabriel Jesus. How many goals has Gabriel scored since then?

donbenie:
Nothing concerned Pep with this story Ogbeni..
He was still in Barcelona as of 2008..
So I don't know why una dey drag his name enter for this matter..
And Pep is an accomplished Coach who have won everything..
So which result is he reaping?

What about Kelechi Iheanacho

We were still in shock over her death when another one was recorded in Lagos by the same ethnic group just because of N100. They are all planned. They are premeditated murder. It's an intro into what they play to do before the next election.

Christian armies should be on the alert. They will have to kill them first so we can be completely defenseless.

seunaj:
Pep obviously don't like African players.

Kelechi Iheanacho and Yaya Toure are good examples of his hatred for African players. He is getting reaping the result now. Don't joke with Africans. Ask Pep what happened in the last champions league match.

SOFTSKILL:
ESN, IPOB are the most dreaded Pus*y butchers

I am not IPOB and I don't support what they do. But the group that plan to exterminate the entire Christians communities should be more dreaded. And that plan is real. Signs have started to show by the killing of Deborah in Sokoto, the bomb blast in Kano, the killing of a studio engineer in Lagos and the burning of market in Abuja where Ibo trade. All these happened within one week.

Only divine intervention will stop their ultimate plan.

Naajjii:
So it's anyone that answers Muslim's name that is a Muslim? The most wicked people on earth are Christian, Pretenders. If we document the atrocities Christians has caused in the world you will reassess yourself and your religion. You thinks it's by claiming we are peaceful then minutes you go behind doing evil.
Nyamiri don't get me started far

Please, give me the proof with events and date. Virtually all the terrorist groups in the country are Muslims. From Boko Haran to fulani herdsmen. You talk about ISWAP, ISIS and even bandits.

The unknown gunmen in the south east just took advantage of the agitations for Biafra to commit atrocities.

Naajjii:
Mr man so you know Jesus like this and you are threatening to kill Muslims? Even though lots of Muslims had come out to condem the killing of Deborah. Sultan head of Muslims had condemned it. Even Deborah's Dad said it was not was not what Islam preaches. Those extremist did that on their own
You nyamiri people, just because you people are pained by the fact that in Nigeria we won't allow you to have your way will your greediness and dubiousnes. You want to rule Nigeria but Nigerians know your dubious characteristics. You hide under any situation to show your frustration. We won't have non of that.

I never threatened to kill anyone. I only said that if we are forced to defend ourselves as the only option, we may have to do that. And we did that once on campus in self defense. That is my submission. I don't kill and I will never kill. But if I have the opportunity to defend myself, I will.

MosakuAW:
The violence that engulfed the Dei-Dei building materials market in Abuja on Wednesday, 18th May, 2022, was not motivated by ethnicity or religion but was the action of criminal elements who started the violence in order to carry out their criminal intentions.


Who are those criminals? What ethnicity are they and what religion do they practice? So many questions without answers.

The whole of Nigeria problems today is in line with Religion and ethnicity. Until this two are taken care of, mayhem and hand pointing will continue in this country.

Let us go the same way Sudan goes. #BreakUp

I still recommend we break into just Northern and Southern Nigeria.

He should consider them on one condition. The killer of the sound engineer should be produced to face prosecution.

In addition, they should guarantee that such senseless killing should not repeat itself.

I know how I felt when okada was banned in most part of Port Harcourt. I hate traffic jam. But, we have all adjusted.

Naajjii:
Haha this one funny , well it's allowed to talk or write tough on nairaland replicate it on the street is all we are waiting to see.

OK. Trouble maker. What do you gain by killing? If your god is powerful, why fight for him? When Peter brought out his sword to defend Jesus, Jesus asked him to keep his sword. He also miraculously healed the servant whose ear was cut off by Peter. Even on the cross, he asked God to forgive those who crucified him.

Let Jesus into your life. He is the only way to the true God. He loves you and died for you.

Naajjii:
Keep quite there, what fu..cking fear of God? Go and meet your Ipob unknown gunmen terrorists and say that to. I hope they have stop slaughtering people like what they did to the military couple? Slaughtered them live on recorded video ,cut off their heads and private parts. Is there anything as evil and barbaric as that? The video is out there go and get the video and watch.

Those are not Christians. Not everyone who answers a Christian name are Christians. Some do not even attend church talk more of following the ways of God.

Let me give you an instance of what I mean that the fact that you terrorize Christians does not mean you are in majority.

There was a time that Christian students in ABU Zaria were always running for their lives because of Muslim fanatics who at the slightest provocation begin to burn churches and attack Christians.

But on one occasion, the Christian students got tired and prepared to defend themselves when they heard that Muslims want to start another attack because they are not comfortable with the result of the election which favoured a Christian student.

So, we had to go from hostel to hostel and ask all the Christians students to come out. Most did and to cut the story short, the confrontation began.

We started throwing stones at one another. We also threw bottles. None could come close to each other. The fight started at about 10 pm at night and ended in the morning with the intervention of the police.

The Christian student had the upper hand in the fight because of number. We were much more in number. Most of the Muslim students sustained injuries and were rushed to the hospital. The only Christian student who died was stabbed by his room mate after the school was closed.

After that fight which happened over 30 years ago, I have not heard of any further intimidation by Muslims in that school.

On the average, we are very peaceful and taught not to even retaliate. So, you take advantage of it to carry out senseless attacks and killings. But enough is enough. If we choose to rise and defend ourselves, the battle will be against you. Moreso that God is on our side.

But, let's give peace a chance.

Naajjii:
Haha liar , how can you be majority when everyday
You cry of domination by Muslims. Have you ever seen sultan crying everyday like your Can president?. Even some of you sent petition to UN that Muslim are persecuting you. Even United Nation documented that Muslims are majority. We are waiting for how you are going to deal with Muslims as you have been bragging on nairaland.

Just two people with weapons can sack an entire community. Just because we have the fear of God and are not evil minded like you are does not mean you are more in number. If we decide to carry arms like you do, we will chase you back to Sahara desert.

Besides most Christians avoid politics calling it dirty games. But we are wiser now.

Naajjii:
You are trying to instigate religion war and you are minority? How do you want start it?

Who is minority? You think that Muslims are more than Christians in Nigeria? We have Muslim dominated states and we have Christian dominated states. So, what exactly do you mean by minority.

Even in the 19 states in the north, Muslim dominated states are not more than 10.

But in the south which has 17 states, Christian dominated states are more than ten.

They killed and bunt our sister, Deborah, we did not retaliate. Just because of their okada that was burnt, hell was let loose. This people are trouble makers. This nonesense must stop. No one has the monopoly of violence.

This is why our Governors should empower vigilante groups. They don't want to do it. And they do not want ESN to do it. If herdsmen can operate in South East, then be ready for the worse. They will grow in numbers in their hideouts and begin to attack communities. They will scare them away from their lands and gradually take over their lands. And this present government will do nothing about it because it's part of their programme.

But our Governors are blind. They cannot see the doom that awaits us all. They think they will be spared when the full Jihad is launched.

I was expecting to see one charming lady that was turning his head crazy. With what I saw, I think this landlord should be taken to a psychiatrist. Even if she was looking charming, you must have self control and avoid another man's wife.

Self Reliance and self sufficiency is the thinking of mediocres. He should think deeper than that.

The word self is synonymous with selfishness. It is myopic. It is limiting.

When Joseph interpreted the dream of Pharoah, he gave him a template on how Egypt could feed the world during the famine period. He did not limit his ideas on how Egypt could be self sufficient during the famine period.

Our agricultural reforms should be such that we can feed Africa and other parts of the world. We should think beyond self. We should plan for the bigger picture.

Penguin2:
True.

Atiku won the 2019 elections fair and square.

But APC stuffed ballot boxes with ballots in Borno and Yobe.

And that was how war torn Borno and Yobe had more voter turnout than Lagos state and other peaceful states.

But Supreme Court will rule on Atiku’s case on 25th of this month, same day it will rule on the VAT case. Fergie001 what do you think about Atiku’s case in the Supreme Court?

Recall the crux of the case is that Buhari lied to INEC that his certificates are with the ‘Military Board’. Now plaintiffs are contending that there’s no such organ known to our constitution and therefore Buhari’s victory should be annulled.

The election rigging was not enough to give APC the win. They had to rig the result. The panel that sat to announce the result went on recess for almost a day which is unusual. This was when figures were altered.

They were only supposed to go on brief breaks when new results are not coming in and not for a full day.

Well, Atiku, your time has past. Maybe it's not your destiny to rule Nigeria. At least, you have tested the position of a vice president. Give room for the south this time.

silentshots:
With all due respect sir/Ma, YOU'RE VERY MAD

I am not. I have the right to my opinion. Just say what part of my opinion you don't agree with and why. You don't have to insult me.

Good chase for the title but it's difficult for it to slip off from Manchester city unless they are cursed.

Nbotee:
Why has both the military and police not relocated to katari since? Same place, same location time and time again

Are you a stranger in Nigeria? They are doing the thing together. The love of money is the root of all evil.

Before they ask a section of people to leave their states, they should have asked their people living in other states to return home first.

They showed him mercy. The heartless one would have burnt his car.

The so called blasphemy that made them kill Deborah has led to more blasphemies at least in social media. Will they kill all the blasphemers?

They don't know that they are dragging their religion to the mud. This faniticts need to be put in a correctional centre and have their brains reset.