₦airaland Forum

jeun soke

file

ike nimu

ituen:
Are my eyes decieving me?

where were u wen Gen Sam was lookin for u to come take over from him??


u r late

na wa o

ituen congratulatins o, na ur village we dey see all dis kain celebs

original crazy man

nice one da junta

my eyes dey turn me sef

Two Scotsmen were discussing how far each could make a dime reach. They agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who won.



The first guy bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the third day and again saved the ashes. On the fourth day he gave the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her roses. He told the other guy, "I know you can't beat that for stretching a dime."



The other Scotsman said, "I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a dime, and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate the other half. The third day I used the skin for a condom, and the fourth day I took a shit in the skin and sewed it back up. The fifth day I took it back to the butcher and told him it smelled like shit. He agreed with me and gave me my dime back."

waiting for delib

"In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from

employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through

our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (Poo)



We are trying to give our employees more Poo than anyone else. If you

feel that you do not receive your share of Poo on the course, please

see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the

Poo list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get

all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.



Employees who dont take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL

EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.Poo).



Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. Poo seriously will have to go to

EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.Poo). Since our supervisors took

Poo before they were promoted, they dont have to do Poo anymore,

and are all full of Poo already. If you are full of Poo, you may be

interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC

UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.Poo).



For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and

consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL

RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.Poo). This course emphasizes how to manage

M.O.R.E. Poo



If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.Poo).





Thank you,



BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING



(B.I.G.Poo)





P.S. Now send this Poo to a few people who need Poo in their life,

just not the same person who sent you this Poo They have already had

their fill of Poo Thank you for your time.





Sincerely,



The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.(The

D.U.M.B.Poo)."

[center]CHINESE TO U.S.A



5 Chinese, Chu, Bu, Hu, Fu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .



In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.



Chu became Chuck

Bu became Buck

Hu became Huck

*
*
*
*
*

Fu and Su decided to stay in China [/center]

@Sam

seconded

ibkaye:
and i said Kano is good enough for me

no where like kuvuki land, u c me dey cry for Gen Sam

oh no place like kuvuki, ib, u better rush follow holythug for free, b4 u go start to beg for ticket o

he'll join u in d grave

ignoring d woman, do it wit sense, else, , , , , , , ,,,,, , , , ,

brimbrack, aven't heard from others
let them approve it

forgot to add dis

clem u don come again ur bla bla baism

u too dey jealous sef

just like stillwater, i'll giv u fake informations bout me,dupe comes to my mind most of d time, n i'll give u my lost number, if u try to call in my presence,i'll tell u its off for nw

lol

A guy walks into a bar and quickly says to the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"

The bartender looks at him and says, "Darn buddy, are you having a bad day?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my brother is gay!"

The bartender, feeling bad for the guy, says, "Darn, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me."

The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. A week later the same guy comes into the same bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"

The bartender looks at him and says, "Darn buddy, are you having another bad day?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my other brother is gay too!"

The bartender says, "Darn, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me again."

The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. The next week the same guy walks into the same bar and says, "Bartender give me 10 shots of Jack!"

The bartender looks at him confused and says, "Darn buddy, doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife!"

IK aca:
please can anyone tell me the format for oceanic bank test.please i need it**==

u miss road

same applys to naija nw

ohoohhooh
yyyyyyyyy _{aw,tnk God say i never accept d offer as a first lady, so na anoda leader go com dey bla blaism me, hmm tufiakwa}

Kuvukians will miss u as their leader o

[center]Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".



22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.


20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.


19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.


18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.


17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)


16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.


15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)


14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).


13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.


12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)


11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"


10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.


9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".


8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.


7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.


6, Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.


5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".


4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.


Few more important


3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.


2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.


Ultimate one:
1, Tries to begin conversation with "In US , " or "When I was in US, "
[/center]

congrats Sam, i hope u won't leave Kuvuki land sha o

brimbrack:
the answer to the 2nd question is tea bag

Rebellious:
The first one is a Vicks inhaler.

is dat ur final answers?

yes u rite

no one seems to get d answers to those questions.
am not gonna tell u, until u get d answers, very simple questions

na wa o, all wid dirty mind