₦airaland Forum

omohayek:
Yours is the first sensible comment on this thread! The unanimous condemnation in all the others only goes to show that El-Rufai was telling the truth: Nigerians have become so addicted to (and dependent on) "free" oil money that they can't even conceive of another way of life other than scrambling by any and every means to maximize their share of the fixed "national cake" derived from oil rents. How much oil, gas, gold or other mineral resources do the likes of Japan, South Korea, Singapore, Switzerland or Austria have? Can anyone say they are worse off than resource rich countries like Congo, Nigeria or even South Africa?

The parasitical mindset which oil money has bred in Nigerians is at the root of so many of the country's problems, but the allure of eating without working is so strong that most Nigerians can't even see the problem.

You guys are so right.

Wealth without work or innovation have ruined resource rich third world countries

Look at the Nigerian society, the allure for free money is just irresistible, e.g. MMM, unbridled sports betting, extortion in the road, etc

It's a shame tho

Yupng:
I want to address the issue of travelling out of Nigeria at all cost. I think is high time we give this a serious consideration. Many Nigerians just want to migrate abroad without prior consideration of the possible effect it might bring to their life.

Let me start by saying, life is a journey of self and no one is in competition with the other. That is to say, we are all different and unique in our own way. We all have a reason for being here and a purpose assigned to our life.

Because Obinna migrated to Canada and became successful, does not necessarily mean same will happen for Tolu or Danjuma. We all have distinctive inherent gifts and ability which are programmed in us to enable us to fulfil our divine purpose here on earth.

Success is relative to one's purpose and to find fulfilment in life, is far beyond materialism. Do not waste your life time moving around like a nomad. Some people are so impatient and always in a hurry to find an alternative route in the face of slight difficulties.

First, it took you almost 5 years to finally get your US visa and afterwards, took you another 5 years to finally settle in California and start a family. The moment you notice your job can not cover your bills anymore, you began another plan to relocate to Canada or Europe. Then Canada it is. Now in Canada, you started all over again and also begin to notice the system taxation is killing and raising a family is challenging. You are now contemplating on either relocating back to the states or even going back to Nigeria to either start a business or kick off a new career.

The reason why you faced with such a dilemma is that your decisions are not purpose driven, but rather societal driven. The moment a man discovers himself and align himself with his purpose, he becomes careful with his choices and decisions. Do not follow the crowd, but rather, find you, do you and fulfil your God given purpose here on earth.

Almost every Nigerian youth want to zoom out of the country. They believe life is rosier and more colourful out there. But I tell you, life is same everywhere. People are always in a constant struggle to survive and wealth is in the hand of a few. The majority are broke, even in America (your dream land).

What most Nigerians abroad enjoy is the high standard of living and well-structured system, but this also comes with a cost. You will pay through your nose and often times, the system will leave you indebted and frustrated.

This is not to discourage anyone that has decided to pursue their destiny outside the shores of this great country, but rather to encourage careful thought process and let your decision to migrate be well grounded and in alignment with your vision and purpose in life.

Don't just wake up one morning and carry your bag and decide you want to travel abroad. You are much more valuable than you think. Find you, do you and live fulfilled.

Obi Frank
source: www.yup.ng

The pressure on the youth here to "make it" is what is causing it, and to a lesser degree lackof contentment

A youth with less of that pressure will be less likely to be desperate

abbeyty:
Which bush this guy comes from, I am very sure they have something like this some places in Nigeria.

In SOME places.

It should be Everywhere

Aquariann:
Parents/Custodians in Edo state need to really stop pressurising their children/wards with comments like "No be your mates dey send dollars give their mama" "No be your mate build that house" "your mates dey hustle for Italy" etc. and all those commenta that push youths from the state to their brutal deaths in the Sahara, Hands of Libyans or the Mediterranean sea.

This is true

For many of them, the pressure is too much

This is so nice

*following*

Does one need CSCS number to invest in mutual funds? or equities?

ThisKC:
No it's not. But it's not foolproof either

That's true

ThisKC:
OP seems to think all older women are made, mature, very experienced and just all round make sense babe. You neva jam baby at 30 or those very broke ones that don't care leeching upon younger guys or the ratchet ones with absolutely bad characters. Even the (semi)retired oloshos are there. Abegi, older women my foot.

It's not a very bad idea tho

Very cute

marhoinspire:
In Nigeria in particular and Africa in general, it's not right for an order lady to date/marry a younger guy

And why is that?

laudate:
How interesting! You are laying the blame on Anna, and exonerating Flavour for his part in the whole mess. The same Flavour that knew Sandra was pregnant for him, is the same person that hopped into bed with Anna. What exactly did Anna know about Sandra? Did she tell you anything directly? Like I said before, do you know what fake stories he fed Anna about his relationship with Sandra? If his relationship with Sandra was so serious, why didn't he get engaged to her or marry her?

Most of the time, what has been fed to the public may not be the actual truth, or the correct picture....!

Sandra was the girlfriend/fiancée we all knew flavour had

Fkavour's foolishness plus this girls foolishness too messed it all up

laudate:
How interesting! You are laying the blame on Anna, and exonerating Flavour for his part in the whole mess. The same Flavour that knew Sandra was pregnant for him, is the same person that hopped into bed with Anna. What exactly did Anna know about Sandra? Did she tell you anything directly? Like I said before, do you know what fake stories he fed Anna about his relationship with Sandra? If his relationship with Sandra was so serious, why didn't he get engaged to her or marry her?

Most of the time, what has been fed to the public may not be the actual truth, or the correct picture....!

I'm not exonerating Flavour, as it is clear that cheating in your pregnant significant other is Fycked up, but Anna Banner should shut the fvck up.

Playing victim when you know what you did

I no wan talk pass that one sha

seguno2:
We can only get it right by holding people like Paul Okoye to a higher standard of responsibility given the amount of public interest that he generates, instead of giving him a free pass for flaunting wealth that he most definitely has not paid adequate taxes on.
It is up to us.

Higher standards of responsibility like how?

laudate:
What do you mean by serious relationship? Was he engaged to Sandra or did he marry Sandra? Do you even know what kind of fake stories he told Anna?

As at then, the public knew it was Sandra that was in the picture; and was even pregnant for flavour as at the time this mess happened

So she has no case here, and cannot lie that she did not know about Sandra

YelloweWest:
Cheating ke? Was flavour married at the time?

He had something serious with Sandra, until this happened
She was a side meat gone bad

YelloweWest:
This girl is bold and truthful.. I love her for that.

While others will kill a baby she chose to be mature and keep hers

Out of a mistake came something beautiful. Well done to her.

Favour is a fool... he'll regret not marring this girl in the future.

Not so fast.

Why would flavour marry the lady he was cheating with?

Does not make sense

riyanxeally:
byatch ure a gold digger plain n simple stead of u to move on n shut up trap hole...common shame u no get...how inhumane after hurting another woman wen u knew she was carrying flavours child...n thy ve dated for a long time...u went cuz hes rich n made decided u must ve him to urself...wat in dis wrld made u think he didn't marry d beautiful sandra okagbue n he ll marry you....women re their own virus....as fr flavour obviously chopped n cleaned mouth...same shit happened wt tuface he stll ended up wt d one wt him wen he was stll coming up not d diamond digging byatch....

Don't mind the girl

I thought flavour was in a serious relationship with Sandra when you were sleeping with him as a side chick.

You can continue to deceive yourself

Some people here are just reasoning like animals
It's normal to be hurt on discovering that your partner is a cheat
But NOTHING justifies leaking her nudes, NOTHING!
It's a crime, and if guilty, he should face the penalty

pedrilo:
ur plan is good, similiar to mine, but my broda, some people don too suffer for dis life, that the thought of suffering again in life scares the shiit outta them

That's true

win2kwire:
The issue in Nigeria is not marriage, two people can marry and poll their resources together to survive.

THE PROBLEM IN NIGERIA IS PEOPLE HAVING CHILDREN WHEN THEY CANNOT AFFORD THEM, THEY MASS BREED AND THEN THE CHILDREN END UP AS CRIMINALS, SELLING GALA IN THE STREETS, ACTING AS HOUSE HELPS AND DISGRACING NIGERIA ON THE WAY TO LIBYA/EUROPE!

MAJORITY OF NIGERIAN CHILDREN ARE UNPLANNED AND UNAFFORDABLE! IT HAS LED TO OVERPOPULATION, POVERTY AND DESTITUTION!

That is the biggest tragedy in Nigeria not marriage!

Very true.

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

This is very interesting.

Hope things work out for you

tamethem:
When will the one day come. Nigeria is a disgrace to humanity. I hate cheating because its evil and i dont do it but when Im cheated it pains to the marow.

I always feel cheated buying beef so I opted to kukuma buy Turkey where its sold in kilo. You cant believe it this ppl too have tuned the scale to their advantage.

This country is something else

Cheats everywhere

atitipoyoyo:
Honestly, people typing these things have never worked before not to talk of working with the whites. My elder brother works for an organistation where they also have whites. We blacks are wicked and that was the reason slave trade was successful. We pull ourselves down. I can relate to this post. In a company where u have whites and of course it is only very top management that have access to the md. When people see that the a white md knows you as a junior person. You become their enemy.
If my brother's md was not smart the same fate would have befallen my elder bro. The md is an American but has stayed in africa for long he knows what we are capable of doing.

That's true

Black men are wicked ti each other

talk2riel:
All the people saying the guy did something shoddy to get the certificate, don't you think someone higher than him has being deliberately sabotaging the registration and guyman has become a threat to him?

This could be true tho

fumiswtpusy:
Go and marry,stop giving excuses.if you can't contact me let me take you to prophet.
I don't have respect for very old single ladies.

You should be ashamed of yourself tho

But hey; everyone has a right to their opinion

Ironi:
I don't think so at all, rather the opposite.

How many of these countries have you been to?

logica:
Did you notice those countries you mentioned were influenced by the colonialist French?

Yes, that may be the case.

But countries in the southern part of Africa that are liberal when it comes to that were not influenced by the French either.

So its not a French thing

Africa is not homogenous, so no such thing as "African Culture" in the real sense of it

Ironi:
You are funny. You don't seem to know shiit.

Do you know the level of prostitution in Nigeria?

Do you know the extent of baby factories where young girls are used just to have babies? Shiit like this only happens in Nigeria, go park yourself somewhere jor.

You still don't understand my point.

I'm well aware of your points, but I still tell you that in Nigeria It's still conservative in comparison to other countries here

Ironi:
What did you smoke?

Nigerians are conservatives when it come to sex? You must be drunk or hallucination?
You seem to enjoy the smell of your fart too much

The fact that they committing it does not mean that most people here are still conservative when it comes to that

You obviously have not travelled anywhere

Travel across Africa like me, then you will understand what I meant by that word "conservative"

How many ladies in Nigeria have approached you for sex, even tho you are not going to pay for it?

How many pregnant secondary school students do you see still attending school even while pregnant in Nigeria,

You never see anything, so shut the hell up

EddyNumerouno:
We never roamed naked

That's a lie