₦airaland Forum

Chukapage:
oga that's an individual issue some babby daddies are responsible ,Not all men are irresponsible stop writing like there was a national meeting that said baby daddies should be irresponsible.The females that became pregnant were they forced? Was it rape? Was it no consensual? It's high time folks like you stop making excuses for dumb women why pushing all the blame on the malefolks. The ladies didn't they know they were not ready for marriage too? It take two to tango.

martowskin1:
Take care of them and treat them like ur own while they bear another man's name...

U see our society is not yet at that level.... Single mothers should date single father's simple

yazga:
You are still young, and do not understand life yet

yazga:
Why are so many men scared to date single mother's?

Bukden16:
Isok

luxy44:
That is it! Cosmetic success. We know them when we see them. They make you feel like you are lazy or not smart. This is also applicable to celebs...i watch BBNaija Saturday parties and i see how our celebrity DJs could not transit easily from one track to the other. They couldn't even play non stop for 30mins. And they are all "rich". Mercy Aigbe that can't even act be flaunting a house. Cosmetic success!!!
Mixture of yahooyahoo/prostitution/etc
My fellow hustlers, don't be distracted, focus. Build a legacy. And invite God into your hustle. It will surely speak!!!

sebali:
This may be late...But I hope you see this.

The society only frowns at women who never got married. The moto is once a senator, forever a senator.
You re 26, still freah with a baby. Get a Job, become financially stable and leave the ediot. People won't be so hard on you because you were once married, so it isn't an issue of you couldn't get married, check for facts nobody mocks a once married lady they prefer to mock those who never got married.
Don't be decieved, most men cheat but oga has brought it to your face just a year into the marriage; translation, he does not respect you, he is a chauvinist. Chauvinist never change.
Marriage is not an Endurance Mission.

N.B: Right from the first page many post makes it okay for a man to cheat... It is not okay, cos marriage is a legal tender, if you can't cope at least pretend, don't rub it on her face, otherwise women should be allowed to cheat too. What is sauce for Emeka should be sauce for Amaka.

Abcdefghij10000:
Uninstalling chrome does not mean anything, Google has details on the phone you using..to even have a Gmail account means they ve got all the data you have ..

pocohantas:
Forgive her.

Women are polygamous in nature.

Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.

Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...

Always remember, God hates divorce.
I wish you strength.

Richy4:
Reading some of the heart breaking stories here on Nairaland sometimes makes me imagine/ wonder what the Reverend Fathers must have been hearing during confessions..

I can't just imagine how a man will look into his wife's eyes and say that he won't let got of the other woman.. That is the highest disrespect that...I'm speechless..

OP please tell me that you are not jobless.. because I can't see what will make a talented, young, beautiful 26yr old daughter of the land to remain in that house and swallow garnished Sh!t.. If he can't let go of her you should have shown some class and withdraw honourably..

Some times I blame parents for interfering and putting unnecessary pressure on their kids to get married.. it's not compulsory that every relationship must end in marriage..

Take your baby, Go to your parent's home and cool off temporarily...While you were there, Think if it was possible for you and your baby's to have a good life and future without him in the picture.. this is because He has made up his mind to have a second wife, The other woman has agreed to be in his life... So now the decision is yours to make if u want to be be the first wife or separate from that bull$h!t

If you were my sister, I would seriously advise that you don't allow your parent to reconcile this matter.. Let him finish what he has started.. because if they forced him to leave the other woman, his business might suffer..and his anger would be on u.. if you asked for an upkeep money... He will angrily tell u he doesn't have... He might be bold to tell you that the person helping him on his business is no longer there, where do u expect him to get money.. That I believe will hurt u..

If u are not working, dust your certificate and Start submitting CVs. At least within 5months u might get something... You rent a little granny flat and settle with your son.. suggesting that you go to your parents house was just for u to think.. not for u to bash him in any way... and it's not for intervention..


Modified:
I have missed those days on Nairaland around 2010, 2011.. When there were so many people here on family section giving good advice irrespective of your gender when ever a topic like this comes up. those days kids like us then don't even talk we only hits the like button..

Nowadays, I have noticed that people gives advice based on gender.. an advice they can't even give to their family members or friends in distress they just throw it out without giving any duty of care..

In this case, Assuming OP was cheating on the husband and she boldly told her husband that she can't let go of her sugar daddy she met while in Uni..That the meets all her financial requirements ... Besides that he has been helping her restaurant business grow..

and the husband comes to Nairaland and seek for advice, would you guys have given him the same advice you have given the OP?

Would you have said oh, he should not let another man take over what belong to him.. He should stay in that relationship and pray for her to change there's nothing prayers cannot do .... he should fight for the marriage he shouldn't let her go since she doesn't nag too much at home after all a lot of women cheats...

Most of you got sister and I bet no one messes with them yet.. why the double standard while dishing out advice.. from page 1 to 6 that I managed to read is so infuriating..

Mizwisdom:
You have not met? how many people do you know and how can your friends be a yardstick to determine the yearnings of over 10 million Nigerians abroad? my goodness! you're ridiculous

Iamgrey5:
How is stating the obvious reaction from the society towards sex and sexual relationship being a conservative facepalm

BluntBoy:
Observations only tell a little of the story and is liable to be contaminated by bias.

You can observe that your neighbor is rude, but it doesn't mean your neighbor is rude.

It is same with observing that someone is a saint when they are in fact the devil.

I am well-traveled, and I know that the average Englishman is a hypocrite and the average American is an opportunist. There are laws that protect women from sexual harassment, but do you know that sexual harassment is almost commonplace in workplaces in America, and the victims are mostly women who have come to accept it as normal?

I think I bookmarked the result of a study on sexual harassment and how 5 out of every 10 women in America slept with the manager to get a job.

If I get home, I will check my other phone for it and share the link with you.

Observation is not enough, my friend.

BluntBoy:
Observations only tell a little of the story and is liable to be contaminated by bias.

You can observe that your neighbor is rude, but it doesn't mean your neighbor is rude.

It is same with observing that someone is a saint when they are in fact the devil.

I am well-traveled, and I know that the average Englishman is a hypocrite and the average American is an opportunist. There are laws that protect women from sexual harassment, but do you know that sexual harassment is almost commonplace in workplaces in America, and the victims are mostly women who have come to accept it as normal?

I think I bookmarked the result of a study on sexual harassment and how 5 out of every 10 women in America slept with the manager to get a job.

If I get home, I will check my other phone for it and share the link with you.

Observation is not enough, my friend.

Buckubuck:
See how dis guy is forming judge dredd of the world. Americans are opportunists(whatever that means)
English are hypocrites
Nigerians are irresponsible
Ok. So which one are you?

Iamgrey5:
Bro, stop explaining the basics of how humans interact to people who have decided to shaun reality for alternative reality.

To them, the world is truly liberal apart from Nigeria. Yet, the country with the most liberal ideology in the world elected an ultra conservative/Nationalist president like Donald Trump.

Nationalism is also having new breath of life in Western Europe.

Buckubuck:
Two kids extremely pained by the truth. No matter how you may like to turn it, Khafi is still the biggest loser. I'm surprised this kayote or whatever can also use bestiality and bisexuality in the same context. This is evidence that you're indeed poor at deductive reasoning and have no inkling of what makes intelligent convo. FYI, bisexuality is no crime, bestiality is. Think hard no matter how hard it is before you type.
If you want to go the moral route, then you're back to step 1. Who is the biggest loser culturally in sexual matters? Assignment 1. Go figure

BluntBoy:
Don't mind them.

They accuse Nigerians of being backward but they have their own mouths stuck in the butts of the imperialists. Everything the whites do is perfect. Is that not the very height of backwardness?

Iamgrey5:
Don't mind Silly Nigerians

Indian, China and Japan are still very sexually conservative countries despite their technological and industrial development.

Nigeria is also a very culturally conservative country.

Trying to stair up a cultural reawakening or revolution for a more open sexual relationship will only meet a brick wall because majority of the advocates will never subject themselves to the ridicule from the social stigma.

BluntBoy:
Observations only tell a little of the story and is liable to be contaminated by bias.

You can observe that your neighbor is rude, but it doesn't mean your neighbor is rude.

It is same with observing that someone is a saint when they are in fact the devil.

I am well-traveled, and I know that the average Englishman is a hypocrite and the average American is an opportunist. There are laws that protect women from sexual harassment, but do you know that sexual harassment is almost commonplace in workplaces in America, and the victims are mostly women who have come to accept it as normal?

I think I bookmarked the result of a study on sexual harassment and how 5 out of every 10 women in America slept with the manager to get a job.

If I get home, I will check my other phone for it and share the link with you.

Observation is not enough, my friend.

Buckubuck:
My daughter, A key dat can open any lock is called a master key, a lock dat can be opened by any key is useless. Learn this wise words and close ya legs

BluntBoy:
How can you answer a straightforward question when you do a lot of implying?

I said "who is likely", I never said only female pornstars suffer alienation.

I also categorized problems, but you would rather play safe by generalizing problems as "troubles".

Another problem with your post is your bias against the Nigerian societies by your lack of statistics.

It is worse in Nigeria without any data is just mere opinion that is presently unverifiable and unverified.

Mk12:
Khafi came from a different world. in Nigeria, it is okay for guys to fool around but In her world it is okay for anyone.

she was never going back to that job. I saw the article written about her on BBC Facebook. fans were even hailing her for living her life.

you go into the house for attention, become a celebrity and maybe get into the entertainment industry

BluntBoy:
This is not a Nigerian mentality.

In issues like this,the woman has a lot more to lose. It is everywhere.

Check pornstars, for instance. Who is more likely to suffer psychological problems and alienation between a male pornstarr and a female pornstarr? Do a bit more research before you question Nigerians' mentality.

Society, generally, is always quick to question a woman's character, that is why there are many laws in place to protect women.

jhydebaba:
I still don't get why everybody is focusing on Khafi and no one is talking about Gedoni after all it takes two to tangle.


Abeg, leave dem oh. Dats why I subscribed. Make I see some pepper jare. If u no like am tune in to dove abi na faith TV.

byrron:
The quoted extract above defines most black Americans who despite been born into such opportunities but still constitutes the greatest nuisance in the whole universe.

They are genealogicaly lazy to the core.(that word does not exist)

ajl:
At the end of the day my conclusion is that traveling out to seek greener pasture elsewhere is a temporary solution. Because I found out most Nigerians that left the country at some point are hoping and yearning that Nigeria work so they could return. In fact significant number are returning. But occasionally with bad experience on returning. So, the "demon" we are all running away from is "sitting on the bench at home" waiting for us. Until we all.stop running and face our problem head-on, we are only fooling ourselves. I went around Lagos in last few days and my conclusion is that the weakest links are the government/public officials and docile masses who choose not to question their government. In the affluent areas I see new businesses and structures that were not there when I visited some years back. But in the slum part of Lagos, specifically on the core Lagos Island, nothing has changed. In fact things have deteriorated even more with hoardes of idle youths, inaccessible roads, terrible sanitary conditions. Surprisingly in all.of these, people seem to be catching their fun as if its all normal. We Nigerians have a terrible tolerance level that it's getting suicidal.

odigbosky:
Nothing here is guaranteed at all. That's why those with jobs here in Nigeria and those without jobs still run abroad

ajl:
I met a Taxify driver yesterday who said that a US visitors visa is all he needs to have a good life in the US and that a job is waiting for him. That got me cracking. When I told him that no one is going to employ him because he has to live as an illegal alien once his visa expires, it's like I was talking gibberish in his ears. Too many ignorant Nigerians.

Tellemall:
Two things this thread will be full of:

1. Convert the pay off a van driver/mortician/busser/whatever to the salary of a politician in Nigeria blah blah crew.

Please, tell us how they have the same expenses or is this just a shallow comparison of figures meant to intimidate your locals onto traveling to become morticians etc? Do you have the same expenses? No . So, what are you comparing? Why not just post your submission without sounding so bitter and ridiculous? Oh well, Nigerians and baseless pride are inseparable.

2. I will become a billionaire in Nigeria crew

If so, why is only Dangote your Nigerian billionaire? Do you think he did so with pointless hubris? Why didn't your ancestors become billionaires in their homelands?
Because it's not so easy as you think. Not everyone out there is a mortician. From their weak gloating points they want to make you insecure, but why must you lie to yourselves?


Unlisted: The reasonable ones who don't have to mention either of the two points above because they are not so pained that they are morticians and not billionaires after all. Even those without permits are here fuming and acting haughty. You can smell the bitterness of the two factions, arrogance leaking with each pointless post.

hahn:
Nigeria is arguably on the most religious countries in the world.

Despite serving "loving gods" we will not hesitate to burn people for stealing a bag whose content is probably not up to N100,000 but will hail political leaders when they are "blessed" by our religious leaders(imams and pastors)