₦airaland Forum

Bammz, sum of doz abreviations r nt abreviations bt apear to b abreviations....hey y is abreviation such a long word anyway?., as i was sayin jaré, they r actualy dirty words bt we avoid writin dem complete e.g S.p.e.r.m , pen*s, etc. Dats hw it hapens hia so just folow suite. Tuh hope i was of litle help

In d begining, donkey,monkey, man nd oda animals were created nd donkey was told dat 'u wil labor nd toil unda d sun, workin hard everyday 4 odaz , and u shal live for 50 years' donkey replied 'al diz sufferin for 50 years abeg give me only 20 years' he was given d 20 yrs nd went his way. Monkey was told ' u wil live ur lyf always playin nd jumping abt in d trees nd behavin as if u dnt have brains nd u shal live for 40 years ' to wich monkey replied ' i desire only 15 years' he was given 15 years nd went his way. Man was finaly told 'u wil have dominion ova al d oda creatures nd u shal live nd enjoy life for 25 years' to wich man greedily replied 'al diz enjoyment 4 just 25 years, abeg give me the 30 years left by d donkey nd the 25 years left by the monkey'. man got his wish and from then on man lives for 25 years as a man enjoyin life then 30 years labouring nd toilin under the sun everyday to take care of odaz nd finaly 25 years as a monkey behaving like a child nd jumpin 4rm one child to anoda nd playin.

In d begining, donkey,monkey, man nd oda animals were created nd donkey was told dat 'u wil labor nd toil unda d sun, workin hard everyday 4 odaz , and u shal live for 50 years' donkey replied 'al diz sufferin for 50 years abeg give me only 20 years' he was given d 20 yrs nd went his way. Monkey was told ' u wil live ur lyf always playin nd jumping abt in d trees nd behavin as if u dnt have brains nd u shal live for 40 years ' to wich monkey replied ' i desire only 15 years' he was given 15 years nd went his way. Man was finaly told 'u wil have dominion ova al d oda creatures nd u shal live nd enjoy life for 25 years' to wich man greedily replied 'al diz enjoyment 4 just 25 years, abeg give me the 30 years left by d donkey nd the 25 years left by the monkey'. man got his wish and from then on man lives for 25 years as a man enjoyin life then 30 years labouring nd toilin under the sun everyday to take care of odaz nd finaly 25 years as a monkey behaving like a child nd jumpin 4rm one child to anoda nd playin.

God bles u Umartins, 4get dem haters dats NL 4 U. Anyway sha u sound like u kan rap?

You are the kind of person that önly reads the part of the Bible that suits your beliefs and that is a wrong way of reading the Bible. If Jesus didnt want us to go to church.... In short arguing this with you is a waste of time. I can easily see that you are a sociopath.

Didnt know this bullsh** happens in religion section too. All this barbarians taking adavantage of a social network to critisize anything their eyes see with their shallow brains, cant even construct good english sentences at your age. Dont even go back to school, you are beyound repairs. Just accept your fate and keep doing the only thing you are good at- no good. THANKS TO THOSE WHO HAD THE BRAINS TO UNDERSTAND MY TRUE INTENT.[b]Didnt know this bullsh** happens in religion section too. All this barbarians taking adavantage of a social network to critisize anything their eyes see with their shallow brains, cant even construct good english sentences at your age. Dont even go back to school, you are beyound repairs. Just accept your fate and keep doing the only thing you are good at- no good. THANKS TO THOSE WHO HAD THE BRAINS TO UNDERSTAND MY TRUE INTENT.[/b]Didnt know this bullsh** happens in religion section too. All this barbarians taking adavantage of a social network to critisize anything their eyes see with their shallow brains, cant even construct good english sentences at your age. Dont even go back to school, you are beyound repairs. Just accept your fate and keep doing the only thing you are good at- no good. THANKS TO THOSE WHO HAD THE BRAINS TO UNDERSTAND MY TRUE INTENT.

This is a special advise session for christians and security tips to keep safe.
1. Avoid going out excessively on fridays especially after 2pm as this is a dangerous time because any slight thing can lead to a bigger one especially in the northern part of the country.
2. On sundays ,go to church and after service greetings should be done within the church premises and not outside instead when outside everyone should go his/her way. This is because the devil uses any slight opportunity to strike at christians and so we must be cautious.
3. When you use achaba/okada/ motor bike as transport to your house NEVER allow them take you direct to your house. Some people are fond of using the bike up to their door step and this is not advisable. Instead let them drop you some distance away from your house and you finish the rest by foot.
These are of course infringing our fundamental human rights of freedom of movement but as we all know, we live in the END TIMES. Nevertheless, we should not be discouraged because this will not go on forever because our ultimate everlasting freedom is coming, but meanwhile we have to be wise like the serpent and thread our paths softly. Please if you have more, kindly drop it below.

This is blasphemy i say.

It doesnt matter, i say if d kid is serious he wil excel witout a leson teacher. Bt if he isnt den he wont b crioz even wit a lesson teacher, Period. speaking from pesonal experience

Truely Nigerian mentality. HIV is not önly transmitted through s*x. Go read jare

Took me some time to realise plus sign was d cross bt jst wonderin weda d 11th finger was d boy's *****.lol . Funny joke by d way.

Hw abt diz
your game stinks...
stinks is anoda name 4 you...
you should leave NL

This is an old joke and diz is my comment about it
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what trash...,

*Yawns*farts*and goes to bed*

If u want me to wonda den do it witout
1.using the shoe size and
2. Using the year i was born. Its just too clear in the first place

My pleasure

A man went wandaring into a forest and got lost. After hours of searching for any sign of human inhabitants, he finally came across a house in the forest. He knocked on the door and a chinese man opened the door, after learning of his plight the chinese man allowed him in on the condition that he would'nt make any adavances at his only daughter whom he was living with,if he dared do it he will suffer the chinese punishment to which the man fully agreed to. During dinner the girl emerged from her room and the man was really impressed with what he saw and stunned at her immaculate beauty and feminine figures which were irresistible. However, bearing her father's warning in mind he decided to behave himself but during the meal he noticed that she was casting inviting glances at him. After the meal he went immediately to the room given him but during the night he could'nt resist anymore and so he sneaked to her room and she gave him the most passionate love making in his life after which he went bk to his room satisfied. He was awakened the nxt mornin by a large stone placed on his chest wit d inscription 'chinese punishment no.1-large stone placed on chest' .' Is this d best he can do' he taught to himself,now his room was in d 2nd floor. So he went to d window nd threw out the stone and then noticed anoda note 'chinese punishment no.2- stone tied to left testicle' tinkin fast he decided dat sum broken bones were beta dan castration, he therefore dived out d window and then noticed an inscription on the ground 'chinese punishment no.3- right testicle tied to bedpost'.

Abeg take am eazy with d guy.....but come o u really must have cracked your brain to do that.
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Anyway sha hope you use your talent to do one for NAIRALAND.

Roses are red
violets are blue
monkeys like you
should be in the zoo
i'll be there too
not in the zoo
but laughing at you.
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A man asked a trainer in gym: i want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can i use? Trainer replies : use the ATM
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TRY THIS
FACT 1: you cannot touch your lower lip with your tongue.
FACT 2; after reading this 99/100 idiots would try it.
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A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighbourhood,so for public safety he was committed. He was put in a room with another crazy man and immediately began his routine,''i am John the baptist! Jesus christ has sent me!'' . The other guy looks at him and declares '' I DID NOT''.
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A THING OR TWO ABOUT AIRPORTS
- The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival
-was dat a landing or were we shut down
-learn from the mistakes of others,you wont live long enough to make all of them yourself.
-the only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire
-flying is not dangerous;crashing is dangerous.
And finally try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your take offs. WATCH OUT I'LL BE DROPPING MORE SOON.

I wnt fight u Say wat u want to say i cant stop u, only time will tell. Watch out for my upcoming....consida diz ma last reply.

Say wat u want to say i cant stop u, only time will tell. Watch out for my upcoming....

Two men went hunting and they were attacked by a deer, one was seriously injured almost at the point of death,while d oda one survived and called the forest authority, he told d operator what happened so the operator told him 'before you do anything you must make sure that he is dead'(i.e check whether he is dead or not) a gunshot was heard over the phone and the hunter came back to the phone and asked ''he is dead ,what next''.

A man came to MTN office and was furiosly shouting at the receptionist for an audience wit an agent. As d receptionist was tryin to calm him down,he out of anger gave her a wonderful slap on her right cheek nd she courageosly returned back d courtesy.(i.e slapped him back). A fight broke out but the people there intervened and the manager was finaly summoned,afta havin scolded d receptionist 4 assaultin a customer (clearly knwin it was'nt ha fault) he den apologised to d man nd asked him his problem ,he sed his sim card had bin blocked for no reason. D manager asked 4 the sim card for analysis. On receivin d sim d manager stared at it 4 sum time b4 administering an official slap to the man to the amazement of al present. On seein d inquirin eyes of d audience d manager opened his palm to reveal d man's sim card nd ''lo and behold it was an AIRTEL SIM''. I say d receptionist shud b allowed 2 finish him off. Hahahahahaha