₦airaland Forum

Patience at a widows and orphans conference: My fellow widows!!! And also : i dont know what subsidy did that my husband had to remove him!!

Can someone tell me, what is the bleeping criteria for a topic to make front page?

booqee: I wish i could lie u flat and beat d hell out of you! Rubbish......

wots wit d lying him flat .

Dear Mr.Seun,
I write to you about the moderators of the joke section.
1.Ben-10 and Dani1luv, the moderators of joke section can always be found 2.hard at work in their section, they work independently without 3.wasting company time talking to colleagues. They never 4.think twice about assisting fellow mods, and they always 5.finish given assignments on time, often they take extended 6.measures to complete their work, sometimes skipping coffee 7.breaks. They are dedicated individuals who have absolutely no 8.vanity inspite of their high accomplishments and profund 9.knowledge in their field. I firmly believe that they can be 10.classed as high caliber mods., the type which cannot be 11. dispensed with. Consequently, i dully recommend that Ben-10 and Dani1luv be 12.promoted to executive management and a proposal will be 13.executed as soon as possible.



Addendum to Seun ONLY; they will probably read this so kindly re-read the ODD NUMBERED LINES ONLY.








Disclaimer: This is supposed to be a joke so Dani and Ben no hard feelings.

An igbo man was driving from Anambra to Gombe, when he reached Bauchi he accidentally ran over a Fulani man's calf and it died instantly, so he stopped. The herdsman went to him and Igbo man asked how much the calf was worth the fulani man said its worth N20,000 but had it lived for 6 more years it would have been worth N150,000. The igbo man upon hearing this wrote a cheque of N150,000 and handed it to the herdsman saying 'thats your money its post dated six years from now'.

Really its ViVy

I still use it when there is no light.

Very funny man, kudos

Funny, bt it shud hv been in d form of a play, u knw lyk -boy:...
girl:... Stil gt me smiling sha

Nice creativity

Our Police - useless
our leaders_ clueless

I plead guilty

lalaosky: na ur burial rice i wan chop

e be lyk say u be dracula, if nt hw death food go dey hungry you?

~vicky~:
pot calling kettle black

wetin come be your own

Lisa1: BUMPShttps://www.50centloseweight.com/jhkh.gif

observes her with stethoscope, looks up with a disturbed look : newbie.

Teacher: oxygen was not discovered until the year 1875
student: what were people using to breath before 1875
.
.
IMAN: u saved my son from drowning?
Man2: yes sir
IMAN: wel there was N250 in his pocket.

kay9: Idowuogbo, have u stolen my torchlight again?? Its gettin dark and i still cant find the punchline...

who is this alien

toygod2: INSPIRATIONAL

hmm tanks. My thread has been resurrected

PretiEbony: so all diz while, na rice dey hungry u

help me tel am


i can arrange for you to be eating the leftovers for mama put place

Y u hide my post na

Lala, my thread 'G.E.J' has not even moved to the archive and you are already doing C & P. Let me die before you bury me ke

ARE YOU AN AJEBOTA OR AJEPAKO
8 STEPS TO KNOW
1.If you step on a nail and bleed_Bota
but if you step on a nail and bend it_'pako.
2. If you see the words madam,sir or Esq after your folks' name on an envelope_Bota.
But if people refer to your folks as 'iya-beji', 'mama baby', 'mama chukwudi' or 'Baa Lamidi' you are not ajebota.
3. If you have your home periodically fumigated with scentless pest repellants so its virtually roach and termite free_Bota...but if your aim with either a cortina or skoll can nail a flying cockroach to the wall_ pako.
4. If your folks carry wallets and purses_ Bota.
But if your mom reaches into her bra in the glaring eyes of the public, your Pako is level 5.
5. If you have a borehole installed in your compound for year round water supply_BOTA,
But if the middle of your head is hairless due to having logged over 650,000miles from hauling pails of water_PAKO.
6. If you brush, rinse and gargle and floss_BOTA.But if after chewing your Pako ,you can spit the pako paste 40yards away_PAKoNESS level 10.
7. If you had underwear that had elastic bands at the waistline _BOTA. If your underwear is like the flag of Ghana and has drawstring_PAKO.
8.Finally if your home has sophiscated theft deterrent systems like barbed wires, camera, alarm system _BOTA
If thiefs are scared to scale your fence because of rumours of SHHGIDI(Wateva dat means) having been installed by your folks_PAKO.

@op Check out my G.E.J thread, i believe its making a difference.

My mistake. I taught you were a girl.

glamour gurl: I think it was my X-boyfriend, we broke up bcuz ‎​O̶̷̩̥̊͡F African Magic....na only him fit change d station from outside.ℓ☺ℓz

so wat u are saying is that you are single.

A man was seriously meditating in prayers when an angel appeared to him and said 'u hav tried to be faithful in all your ways so i am here to grant you any wish' the man said 'ok i want a bridge across the Pacific ocean'. The angel replied ' i can do that but why dont u tink of a better thing that is not materialistic, something that would really help humanity' so the man said 'ok i want all men to have the ability to understand women, their innermost thoughts, what they mean when they giv the silent treatment, i mean what they really desire ' the angel replied ' do u want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge'.

Change your tv then

2nd funny, 1st and 3rd old,try and show an indication to distinguish b/w jokes na

Little johnny went to his mother and said ' mommy, when you were away dad and aunty carol went into your room holding each other and started removing...' b4 johnny cud finish, d mom said 'stop johnny, u wil continue wit your story during dinner when everyone is present' . During dinner she said 'johnny, why don't you tell us that your story'. Johnny started ' when mom and uncle were away, dad and aunt carol went into the bedroom holding each other, dad helped her to remove her cloth and aunt carol helped him to remove his, dad got on top of aunt carol and they started doing what mom and uncle used to do when dad and aunt carol are away'. Moral:finish listening to the story .