₦airaland Forum

Tinkybabe: Why did you take the fun ouuta the game

its called GAME OVER!

For those of you wondering how she did it , its simple.
Think of a number b/w 1 and 10 multiply it by 9, if two digits is ur answer add them together. . . .watch this
1*9 = 9
2*9=18. . . .1+8 =9
3*9=27. . . .2+7=9
4*9=36. . . .3+6=9. . . . .and so on. So since all the answers are 9 then subtracting 5 will always give you 4= d= denmark=kangaroo=orange. The names may vary but this is the most obvious.
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Meanwhile here is my own. Think of a number. Multiply it by 2. Divide it by the number you thought of. Multiply your result by 3. Add 4 to it. Multiply it by 6. Add 4 to it. Find the square root of your result. Let the mods ban me if your answer is not 8.

I'll eat it because its a piece of cake.

larride: Me likey.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

you're welcome.

Stay tuned for the premier episodes 9 and 10 of 'The Adventures of Akpors' which will mark the end of season 1.

The Adventures of Akpors
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EPISODE 7
After Akpors wakes up from his coma with his ever faithful girlfriend(vicky) by his bedside. He is faced with a new problem- employment as he has been fired from the police force. After some weeks of job hunting he finally found a job as a teacher in umukoro development community primary school(UDCPS). He was doing well with his new job until one day something happened.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ? . . . .0. . . . . ,.skip to disk 8!!
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EPISODE 8
one faithful day after school hours , Akpan one of Akpors' students was having problem putting on his shoes so Akpors went to help him. Akpors managed to untie all the laces of the shoe and struggled to slip it into the boy's leg. After about 15 minutes the shoe was on and Akpors was eager to go home when he heard Akpans annoying voice saying ' uncle my sweet is inside the shoe'. On hearing this Akpors told the boy to go like that but he refused. So Akpors summoned the last ounce of patience in him and removed the shoe and gave the boy his sweet and put it back on which took about 20minutes. After Akpors was through he was about to go when the boy said ' the shoes are on the wrong legs' . Akpors almost slapped the boy but he bearly managed to control himself and switch the shoes which took about 10 minutes. Once again Akpors was about to go when Akpan says ' uncle, this is even my younger brother's shoes, my own is in my bag'. Just like flashes of light, Akpors' experience with the commissioner of police flashed before his as he put it into action...
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AKPORS' TRIAL STARTS NEXT WEEK!!

Lins01: Yes, it's joke.

Do you think am trying to be funny? The joke doesnt make sense accept it. You have not been personally involved thats why you can make a joke of it.

~vicky~:
Valiantvaliant=Akpors

nicey me likey

and ~vicky~= akpors' girlfriend.

@topic= NO

You know its your funeral if after eating hot peppersoup with your hands, you decide to shave.{am not talking of shaving your beard or armpit}

The day after yesterday is today. And by my calculations its thursday.

You think its a joke right? **sobs**

The Adventures of Akpors
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EPISODE 5
continued.. . . . .
Akpors being a police sergent by profession was supposed to be on duty on the day of the incident. So he rushed home amidst his pain and quickly put on his khaki uniform and went 2 the station. He was still undergoing serious pain when he got there and was almost out of control. So he sat down in the visitors seat and was just fanning himself. He removed his gun and kept it aside, unbuttoned his shirt and threw his cap and kept on fanning himself. Unknown to Akpors the commisioner of police was to pay a visit to their station on that day. After sometime the commissioner arrived and saw Akpors and the state of things. O boy Akpors don enter soup o....see what happens in episode 6!!
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The Adventures of Akpors
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EPISODE 6
As the commissioner came in he was wondering which irresponsible person was on duty. Akpors in his misery couldnt even recognize the person before him. The commissioner started shouting who was on duty and ignorant Akpors replied 'Its me who are you and what do you want here, eh abi you want make i put you for cell? This one wey you come here they shout anyhow so, you no they fear face'
.as a result of whatever the comissioner's body guards did to him. . . . . . .
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.AKPORS WENT INTO COMA !!!

The Adventures of Akpors
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EPISODE 4
_Man: how old is your father?
Akpors:As old as me
Man: how can that be
Akpors: he became a father only when i was born.
_AKPORS' THEORY states that talking about ''love marriage Vs arranged marriage'' is just like talking about ''commiting suicide Vs being murdered''.
_Akpors took his girlfriend out for lunch and ordered for a hot pepperish peppersoup, after they were done eating with their BARE hands of course. Akpors went to the toilet to ease himself, when he came back they started chatting and after sometime he started feeling pepper pepper around his 'gentleman's area'{which was as a result of touching his ***** with his pepper infected fingers}. He tried to ignore it but it grew worse and worse and pain was clearly written on his face. His Date asked what was wrong and Akpors couldn't control it any longer, with a tearful face he shouted 'my thing is on fire' the girl was stil asking 'what thing??' so Akpors just stormed out of there in pain looking for relief anywhere. Watchout for episode 5.

The Adventures of Akpors
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EPISODE 3
_once Akpors was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on the other so a man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast prophesied that it would be cold on one hand and hot on the other.
_ Akpors bought a brand new Range Rover sports and decided to drive down to another town near umukoro to visit his friend. After some days there he called his wife to expect him in the evening. He didnt come in the evening. The day after he wasn't back. On the third day he came back. His distraught wife asked him 'what happened my husband?' . Obviosly tired from a long journey. Akpors stepped out ' These Range Rover people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward and only one for going back.
_what is the difference between mother and wife.
Akpors:One woman brings you into this world crying....&The other ensures you continue to do so.
_How can Akpors kill a lion: Akpors thinks and thinks and comes to a conclusion- 'i'l drink poison and let lion eat me'.
_wife: Do you want dinner?
Akpors:Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: YES AND NO.

Previosly on 'The Adventures of akpors' we dealt with his stupidity, on today's episode we look at his bright side . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . . . . . . . .and more stupidity!!
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EPISODE 2
_Akpors son; mom, when i was on the bus this morning with Dad, he told me to give up my seat for a lady.
Mom: well, you have done the right thing.
Son: but mom, i was sitting on daddy's lap!
_ Father to Akpors after exam : let me see your report card.
Akpors: my friend just borrowed it, he wants to scare his parents .
_ what is a girlfriend
Akpors: addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies and division of friends.
_Akpors the Guide: i welcome you all to Niagara falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high even 20 supersonic planes passing by cannot be heard. Now may i request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara falls?
_Akpors was driving down the freeway, his phone rang. Answering he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him 'Darling, i just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Umokoru highway, please be careful!
'its not one car' said akpors 'its hundreds of them, am trying my best to avoid hitting them'!
_How do you recognise Akpors in school? A: he is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher erases the board. L.O.L.Z

@All
wont let you down people. More episodes coming!!!

@All
wont let you down people.

INTRO: In the land of Nairaland and the time of stale jokes, the destiny of the jokes section rests on the shoulders of a young boy(or man, as the case may be) His name,
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EPISODE 1
_A teacher lecturing on population said 'In the world, after every 10 seconds, a woman gives birth to a kid.' Akpors stood up and said 'we must find and stop her!'
_Akpors; why are all these people running? Man: this is a race, the winner will get the cup. Akpors: if only the winner will get the cup,why are others running?
_Akpors told his servant: go and water the plants.
Servant: its already raining.
Akpors: so what, take an umbrella and go!
_Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this package.
Akpors: why did you have to come so far, instead u could have posted it.
_Akpors at an Art gallery: i suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: i beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!
_Akpors was writing something very slowly. A friend asked "why are you writing so slowly?
Akpors: i'm writing to my six year old son, he cant read very fast.
_Flash news:A 2 SEATER plane crashed in a GRAVEYARD in Umukoro. Akpors and his townsmen have so far found 500 bodies and are still DIGGING for more. L.O.L.Z

bright007: u should answer that cos u suggested clicking on their profile.pls don't derail this thread.

understanding a question is part of the answer, FYI am not derailing your thread, just trying to make as little sense out of it as i can.

bright007: if u are not willing to share your experience doesn't mean everyone isn't willing.
I don't go about clicking on peeps profile,I prefer them sharing their info themselves.

if the profiles were confidential, then they wouldn't be accesible, dont ya think

And you call these clean jokes

What a baseless thread!!! if u really want to know then check everyone's profile.

^^^Strikingly similar result with earlier recommendation. Thanks all the same.

Yahoo1: .........yes.....you are right,but you googled it,didnt u?

try and appreciate genuine intelligence once in a while

Dafemo: No 1 answer: The wife gave birth to a baby, the wife died in the process and the stranger was a baby.

No 2: the man was 33 years old because the question was asked 1988

try and read other people's comment before posting yours

Seen it before, but the character modification makes it funnier.. . . . . . .Lolz

Oga Lagusta take am easy abeg. Ur insults dey make me laugh more than the joke sef . . . . .Lolz

HERE IS THE ANSWER; THE WIFE WAS PREGNANT, SHE GAVE BIRTH TO A CHILD(STRANGER) WHILE THE HUSBAND WAS AWAY AND SHE DIED IN THE PROCESS.

Thanks Guys and ladies. Check diz out: there are some headlines that make double meaning to some minds while some are down straight cunning
NIGERIAN NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
1.NLC FINGERS jonathan.(dirty minds)
2.Obasanjo's effort to WOO Dora fails.
3.Liverpool to SPLASH €8M on Osaze.
4. Bash Ali BASHED
5. Atiku Tickled.
6. How senator Mantu was disMANTLED.
7. What A DISASTER , Gen Adisa is dead.
8. Fuel scarcity BITES harder.
9. The MERCILESS messi
10. Togo TO GO home. NO WAY for Norway.
11. Jonathan FLOORS Buhari.(dirty minds)
12. Obasanjo's CARPETS Ndigbo.
13.NLC and federal government fail to reach the PEAK after 3 ROUNDS of meeting.(dirtiest minds).

@op nice one

Just lyk a guy posted on his facebook status.
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'i just received my salary, oh Thank God'
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And the following people 'liked' his post
Landlord
wife
girlfriend
son
daughter
parents (believe it, ma grandma is on f.b)