₦airaland Forum

Disclaimer: I have never met, flirted, interacted, or socialised with any of the NL peeps above. This is a concerted and calculated effort to make me seem like the opposite of what I actually am: The All-Nigerian Sweetheart. Blink blink.

Emily said "because, because, because", like that, three times.

I don't see the trickery in question 2. Help me out here.

What's up, kay9? Seems like Sisi is getting her mojo back. She's becoming more juvenile the way I like her.

Sisi, I hope you leave all this serious business and remain like this forever. Well, for a long time, till I die.

I assume the thread intends for us to compare the two authors. I'm a tremedendously fan of both. I think the percentage of Dean koontz books that are likely to blow you away are higher than Stephen King's though king will blow you away further. What I mean is this: Say you pick 20 of both authors books. You'll really like like 15 of Koontz and only 9 of King's. But out of the 9 Kings you like, you'll pick 4 that'll better the whole 15 koontz wrote. Damn, I hope I made sense.

Damn, a valid legitimate rant that's not so much a rant in that it's coherent. You, my man, ain't got no luck with shopping. You ought to insure your umbrella too, lol. My dad has always thought newer things are prone to accidents. according to him the older, the sturdier.

1. Ceberus

2. Hermes is a messenger god. I prefer the other name Mercury

3. I'll assume she lives up to her name. I dunno but I'll pick Professor McGonagall

4. Romulus. Didn't really know but that's the only name I've heard of. I bet the rest don't even exist.

5. Funny I disagree with Kay9 here. I think it's one outta penelope or Dido. Reason being solely because of Sisi's 'classical' defiinition.

6. I think this is Demodocus. It's the only ominous sounding one.

7. I have no freaking idea

8. I'll go for Malfoy, cuz he's the only Deatheater I know by name. Rest too sound like they don't exist.

9. I dunno. I can only eliminate Icarus cuz he's a god. Daedalus seems a mortal dude. Esle he won't go about inventing stuff.

10. Narcissa, hence narcissism.


Okay, kay9 (sounds nice, eh? Okay, kay9) your turn with the quiz. make it easy, will ya?

Y'all are sick psychos

Aww, Kay, I didn't mean it that way, well, maybe a little. And I totally get the block you get after clicking reply. You just know you don't wanna pass up on the conversation but you're absolutely short of words. Anyway keep at it, bro.

@Blue. I wonder if you just saw a movie where the consumate evil dude shows clemency and this has got you confused dearie. I'm sure it's not that simple though. It might be an evil classmate of yours who refuses to ridicule a mutual enemy and you wonder why he/she choose now of all times to appear nice. Ok, the answer to your question is that I have no fleeting idea!

Rantalot just redefined the meaning of clean and white.

@Bluespice. If I told you then I'd have to kill you. And you're way too sweet to die at my hands, niggress!

@princesa, a merry belated christmas to you too. I take it you didn't have as much fun. Me neither. My house doesn't have a chimney and me and Santa couldn't get drunk together like we used to in my old home.

Na wa o. I hope you won't kill your self now to make a point, Rantalot. But I know what you mean, sha. I'm also a hater of stupid and meaningless phrase especially those that are meant to inspire you. Read this:

Faith is a fine invention for gentlemen who see.
But microscopes are prudent in an emergency.
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tunes without the words and never stops at all.

Isn't that just beautiful crapola? Unbelievababble.

Sisi Jinx:
Vesc. . . SPILL. . . NOW!!!!!

Do you really wanna know?

It wouldn't even come near that brink if you'd come more often

Hi y'all. I hope I come back to find you all back too.

B.T.W I love you, ******

Bet this will leave enough mystery to keep this thread going for another week till I'll be back for real.

Tgirl sounds terrifyingly cool.

That's how psychopatic killers sound

And people who have made up their minds.

I'm gunning for the second, but who knows.


But here's something that's been swept under the carpet. I came across it from my investigative journalism: Tgirl's interview with the diabolical dude aka the devil. This is an Exclusive.



Nairaland username: I hack into peeps usernames, so I come as Vesc sometimes. Ex-Inferis (this dude works for me), Ariblaze, Princesa etc.

Real name: Michael Jackson

Nick name: Baphomet, Iblees, Lucifer, The Prince of Darkness (I like this one), Exu, they are just too many.

Origin of User name/ID: I think those peeps are diabolically inclined.

When did u join NL: I put the idea in Seun's head (he works for me too)

Why did U join NL: I made it happen.

Religious belief: Are you serious?

Section U frequent most visit: Religion baby. There are a lot of fools there. I read their stupid posts over coffee in the morning.

Age: I don't think you can wrap your mind around my age. I don't even think I can.

Location: I just left Jos but I'm vacationing in the carribean now.

HomeTown: Mexico. Pronounced Meheeco.

Single or Married: I'm still searching. I think I like Madonna and Sarah Palin.

Occupation: Just chilling like a villain. Make people like Vesc shoot their consciences.

Type of Music: Punk Rock of course.

Best Movie: That'll have to be Devil's Advocate. Al Pacino makes me look really good. Silence of the Lambs. Anthony Hopkins gives even me the creeps.

Best artist: Michael Jackson (his contract is due soon) Mick Jagger.

Best Colour: Crimson (y'know. Like Blood)

Best food: Potatoes and ketchup

Best Game: Resident Evil, God of War.

Best Car: Lamborghini Diablo

Sport: The stuff people do at Wall Street. Does that count?

Club: Chelsea FC (Roman works for me as well)

Likes: Sin. Saddam Hussein. George W. Bush and his father.

Dislikes: Righteousness. Mother Theresa.

Peeps u roll with on NL: They don't even know. I won't give myself away

Who will u like to date given the opportunity on NL: Karmamod. iice. Gamine. Ariblaze. You realise I have no gender, right?

Who do you admire on NL: Seun, the infamous dude with the big stick.

Most striking personality: Sisikill

Your view about NL: It does what I meant for it to do.

Describe yourself in a simple term: Misunderstood

Most Striking thing about yourself: I'm very convincing. Very

What makes you tick: Violence in the Middle-East

How do u spend a normal day: Connive. Plan. Scheme. Conspire. Do they all mean the same thing? I'm sorry.

Greatest challenge in life: God?d'uh.

Greastest achievement: Making people believe I'm a myth

Future ambition: uh, I dunno, legalize abortion. Kill Prof. Dora.

Most embarrassing moment: When some idiot decided I had horns and a tail. I'm actually a beautiful creature.

Life philosophy: There's no afterlife. Enjoy life in anyway you can before you off

Words for the founder of Nairaland: Will you sign the new contract already. I can only be patient for so long.

Has your thread gone belly up?

You can't let that happen without interviewing Sisikill!

One is rude and the other isn't?

I knew you wouldn't like it

Lemme try again

Y'all know I don't rant per se. And Sir Ariblaze prolly doesn't approve of my 'prose'

I've never been one to do as he's told. Often my parents tell me the opposite of what they mean to get results. So, despite my two weeks ban, I'll post. I'll attempt to recall the things I thought about in the last, say, twenty minutes.

Mr. Oka swims with the fishes.

This he does. Literally.

He'd rather drown than face Mr. Ako who kills with a terrible stare.

Your brain would boil in ten seconds flat.

And your nerves would shrivel.

So Mr. Oka heard anyway.

Mr. Oka knew of the other nervous tyrant.

Mr. Brain.

That guy is a parasite.

Selfish as hell.

Doesn't want you to die for his life depends on yours.

The bastard must be hiding some truth behind sneezing.

Why else does he force us to close our eyes.

You can't suffocate yourself cuz Mr. Brain would knock you out and revive you.

That's why peeps train berettas on their temples.

Others stick a shotgun in their mouths and press the trigger with their toes.

They wanna kill the selfish brain first.

Like they could do anything afterwards.

Mr. Oka knows he can hold his breath for only 2 minutes 25 seconds.

So he dived for 2 minutes 15 seconds.

He knew he wouldn't break water in ten seconds

Even with the upthrust effect.

These last ten seconds, he'd savour the death of his brain.

Mr. Oka has now died and gone to,

Wanting to cross the Styx river he met Mr. Koa who demanded for his two coins

Mr. Koa kills defaulters with an open socket stare.

But your brain doesn't boil

For you have none.

Your soul boils in oblivion

For some reason, Mr Oka was thinking why he was still wearing his coke bottle glasses.

Doesn't matter now eh?



I kind of ran with it, people.

@Princesa. I thought you were a killer for hire. Thus you kill people for money. So if Ariblaze was your friend, you could kill him for free, ja?

This just shows I can't be away from here too long without getting, clueless. Lucky I don't rant impulsively.

What's up Sir Rantalot and his many many guests?

Sisi seems to be on her way back to redemption. I've been too patient!