₦airaland Forum

Atta boy!

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Orikinla:
This Long Thing, This Strong Thing, This Thong Thing and This Wrong Thing

Your libido drives your ego.

The Igbo word for money is “ego”, the same spelling with ego. And among the Igbos of Eastern Nigeria, how much money you have determines how much ego you have. The more “ego”, the more your ego, and invariably drives the libido of every Igbo man. A poor man does not have much pride in the materialistic Igbo society, because he is seen as a failure. In fact, the poor man loses his woman to the rich man, except the woman has sworn to love and suffer with him no matter the trials and tribulations of their life.

Before the advent of the Christian practice of monogamy, polygamy was the common practice and most of the polygamists were rich men. Only a wealthy man can afford many wives and take good care of them like my grandfather. Monogamy is an alien practice and very unrealistic in the native African society. I don’t see myself having only one wife. One woman cannot be enough for a through-bred Igbo man of noble birth and not enough for my libido, because I want to have intimacy every day and at least with four different women weekly. Definitely, I am going to have a multiracial family with my different wives from four different races. Back African, Caucasian, Asian and Arabian. Polygamy is necessary for the survival of the human species, because monogamy will threaten our survival on earth as you can see the consequences of the pressure of the teeming population of single women who outnumber the single men. Monogamy has left many women single and desperate to even share married men with their wives who are desperately holding on to their husbands by fire and by force.


They met on Facebook months ago and she came to join him from Italy and they are wedding tomorrow.
“You look better than on webcam,” I said.
She smiled with glints in her brown eyes.
I could see that her mind was made up and she would not look back.
So, one can really find true love on Facebook where many fake profiles abound.
Love is wherever your heart finds peace of mind.


When you have been known as a Ladies man in Lagos and your buddies teased you as “Pastor Awon Obirin” in Yoruba, meaning pastor of women, because the more you preached the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more women flocked to be your companions; you might as well appreciate the benefits. So, you started a modeling agency to manage these pretty and sexy young women, but observers concluded that you were sleeping with them when you were only doing your best to make them use their beauty positively. But the licentious acts of the lascivious models did not help matters and in fact attracted more wannabe models and ignorant observers thought you were running a call girls club or your residence was now a brothel. They pointed accusing fingers at you that being tall and slim means you have long “mojo” and the popular myth is that taller guys have longer “mojos”; and girls prefer long “mojos”. But in fact, of all the models only two were your lovers whilst the rest had their own private affairs which were not your business.

Yes, I like slim models, but I prefer voluptuous women. Women with big round bosoms and full buttocks like one particular girl whose booty I would have insured for $30 million. Her booty is magnetic and makes her the cynosure of randy male students and lecturers at the Lagos State University, Jibowu Campus.

Men are the prisoners of women, but pretend to be in control. We are either their prisoners of lust or their prisoners of love. Don’t blame us. Women brought us into this wonderful world through their vaginas and the first thing they gave us were their bosoms to suck and cradle us in their arms kissing and sucking their bosoms and carried on their buttocks for years. So, men become fixated on the sexual organs or women 24/7. We are always going after them for sex. We cheat, we lie, and we steal and even kill because of sex!

The Thong Thing

“You are slim and I am slim and we should be rolling together. But you don’t seem to like me,” Nuella said and smirked. She was one of the pretty and sexy models. She was skinny, but with a good backside. I regarded her as she made a face before climbing one of the “Okada” motorbikes used for public transport in Nigeria. As she sat down behind the motorcyclist, her red thong was revealed in her low rise blue jeans pants. I could see a good part of her buttocks. Nuella loved G-Strings and I concluded that wearing a thong made having a quickie easier for her. She would not need to remove her underwear for the guy to enter her from the rear. Wow! Thongs were in vogue then. Princess even suggestively touched her toes to reveal her thong during one of my visits. I was naturally tempted as I gazed at her big bum. Entering a woman from behind is still the most thrilling position for a quickie. Gosh.

The Wrong Thing

On Wednesday September 15, 2010, a grownup teenage girl came to see me in the office. She wanted to use my cell phone to call someone, because her own phone was bad
“There is only N4 credit left,” I said.
“You use MTN?” She asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Good,” she said as I handed her my phone. She brought out N100 recharge card and loaded it. She called someone and was speaking sotto voce. She did not say much and returned my phone.
“Thanks.”
As she left, my buddy concluded that she spoke to her boyfriend.
“She could be having sex already,” he presumed.
“But she is only 15,” I said.
“That is why she did not want to use her parents’ phones and left their residence for our office to call her boyfriend,” he said.

She will be 16 before Christmas, but she is already 6ft tall and looks like a young woman of 21 or 23 with sex-appeal. She has been attracting the attention of both grownup boys and men. But I have been focusing on her academic pursuits. She is one of the most brilliant secondary school graduates in Nigeria and has been given admission to study Computer Engineering at the University of Lagos. But I have advised her to apply for scholarship to study at any of the Ivy League Universities in the US, because none of the local universities would be good enough for her outstanding genius. No Nigerian university is even among the top 20 universities in Africa! Her aunt who is an American citizen sent her the names of three top US universities to choose the one she prefers and she asked for my advice. I recommended Yale. Minutes after she left my office, my phone rang and I answered the call. The male caller called her name, but as he heard my voice, he ended the call immediately. He made a wrong call. No romantic distractions for her until she is on campus in the US.

Our impressionable teenage girls are vulnerable to temptations and the exposure to indecency on TV and the Internet has made parenting more complicated for parents who can no longer control their baby girls who are now growing wings to fly away to wherever they wish to sow their wild oats. It is really troubling to see these teenage girls hanging out with boys at corners of the street in the night. Of course, they are out for quickies and they don’t really care about the dangers of their high-risk behavior. They copy what they see other teenagers are doing in the US, UK and other developed countries, because they forget that there are no safety nets for them in Nigeria where the government has no plans for their welfare. We call them No Future Ambition (NFA), because they seem to be impetuous and vacuous. In fact, most of them need psychotherapy, because they have been either verbally abused or sexually abused by boys, men, uncles, fathers, teachers and other dogs of the earth. A young woman told me that she was deflowered by her godmother in boarding school. She never told her parents who thought a girls only school would be safer for their daughter.

You owe me $10 for wasting bloody hell 10 mintues of my life!

If there ever will be time that IBB should be probed, the time is nowwwww!

I wouldn't vote for anyone that promises to deliver:

power, security, good roads, railways, good health, sound education, economic improvement, reduced poverty, all under 4 years!

tht sounds like a big joke, something only gullible Nigerians bow to!

If Ribadu promises nothing else besides a corruption free Nigeria, then the young man has my vote!

HAH:
Ribadu should please go and get matured in politics before thinking of being president, He should may be go for senate from there he can go through the ladder. You cannot just leave the police barraks and be president  even Obama started with state senate then federal senate then president.

Get matured in politics? you mean perfect that art of robbing the masses?. .  .I can't seem to figure anything Nigerians have gained in the past from "matured politicians". .  .for all i know, the country suffered from their maturity!

“I did it because I thought that since he asked me to quit, let me also wound him so that it will be equal.

Animal!

the e-diot should be shot!

^^

your next drink is on me maam!

tht's such a brilliant analysis!

Black


Jonathan or IBB

weting dey happen for hia?

love

afro candy

tkb417:
190 used to be a correct guy but i guess, the many incarcerations o his ID has left him with no options to go bonkers

@190
all we are saying, no more bullchitting

go back to your old ways and lets reduce the animals on NL by one

we can now focus on how to rehabilitate Mobo and his friends

loooool!!!!!

someone should have told many of em retards, opening up just about any thread doesn't make them popular, and last time i checked, Seun wouldn't be sending out complimentary gifts to posters with highest number of threads, now the answer eludes me, to the question, what exactly drives this folks?

with the responses so far, i hope the irritants understand that no one finds being an ársehole appealing!

For the ones who are too slow to understand even the simplest things,

Here is an example of a Dumb thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-511712.0.html

and here is an example of a sensible one.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-512611.0.html

if you still don't get it, then you shouldn't even be posting here to begin with!

Tosinville:
^^^on romance section i meant

if you think you can't come up with a new unique topic then forget.

Since when has it become mandatory to open up new topics on NL?. . i mean, its not as if anyone will cut off your air supply if you don't!

For pete's sake, if you can't open up sensible threads, then by all means, don't open up silly ones.

I have observed with dismay and disgust as the contents, thread topics, arguments, and characters of this brilliant section has gone beyond outright annoying and ridiculous to downright pathetic and ludicrous.

The relentless takeover of this time past beautiful forum by unrepentant moronic elements as well as the moderators seemingly "i don't care" attitude is one that calls for great concerns.

Less than a year ago, the Romance section was a place where matured individuals rubbed minds on real issues that closely relates with dating, courtship and marriage, sadly, this is no longer the case. What we now witness is a shamful display of dumb threads, competition for the stupidiest personality of the year, as well as unimaginable low level thinking process among members.

This is a personal wake up request to individuals that oversee the affairs of this section to prevent further rot and rescue the remaining bits of the section from moronic elements who will stop at nothing to gain cheap "e-attention".

PS.

In any case the Mods have refused to wake up to their responsibilities, i implore other sensible Nairalanders that are left, to boycott and refrain from replying to threads that are laughable and authored by well known morons in our midst.

for pete's sake, why would anyone open up a new thread on "Ladies And Viginal Odor"?. . . .tht's just dumb!


Just stop. . .dammit!

Mr Bean i know, Mr Bones i know, but what who is an E.K. Clark?

Picture didn't get me. . .i knew poster was a retard before even reading the damn thing!

bla bla bla. .

yada yada yada. .

Dr Kunle Olajide should go and hang, this vote of mine, isn't for IBB. . . period!

11. Special reports on Nigeria in both local and international media - N1.2 billion

can i get an Amen?

what an expensive report!

. .

hehe. . .the beginning of Onovo's travails,

I have long awaited the time a corporal will say "Oga, you are under arrest for court contempt, co-operate now before i slap you o"

the house is violent-ish!

damn! i shoulda gone against all odds and learnt golf instead of wasting a hell of a time going to school!

I don't get this


Has the court now changed its earlier ruling that Onovo be arrested? . . .or is someone just trying to sweep under the carpet the fact that he called the bluff of the judiciary?

hehe. . looks like 190 might top the chart!