₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
If you don't know how the courts arrive at the numbers they use in deciding the amount for childcare, ask..

you talk about rights of the woman but everything one of your point is completely about the children what happens if she did registry, spent 20 years with the husband without children, got kicked out. What added right will the registry give her?

Kobojunkie:
If you don't know how the courts arrive at the numbers they use in deciding the amount for childcare, ask..

I meant if the union lasted 10 years without children what will the court grant the woman

Kobojunkie:
So, if one of your sisters were kicked out of her marriage and her children taken from her and maltreated by the other wives, you think that a better option than your sister leaving with her kids and having the courts make sure she is paid an allowance each month from her ex for their care?

here children belong to the family of the man. If my sister married an Hausa man, her children aren't even my tribesmen. All your points about the importance of Registry is completely based on the event that there are children in the picture. Is it all marriages that produce children? If the woman has no children, what added right does the registry gives her?
From all your points, it's not even about the woman, it's about the children. What if she gets kicked out and the man takes good care of his children?

Kobojunkie:
Wrong!

If your marriage is registered with the courts or you do court marriage, what the courts can do is make sure that in the case of divorce, the man is forced to pay his share of childcare.

That is much better than being abandoned with absolutely nothing at all which is the fate many of our mothers and their mothers before them suffered when marriage crashed for them, leaving them with mouths to feed and nothing to feed them with.

Depending on how much the man makes and the woman makes, receiving N5000 a month is better than receiving nothing at all. That there is commonsense.

---

Please take time to educate yourself for the sake of the women in your life.

lol educate myself on what? Majority of men chase out their wives and keep the children, marry new wives which is where stories of maltreatment come in.
The women who are chased out, whether they did registry or not get nothing so what rights are you talking about? In the West the man has to pay all sorts of support, here you get nothing so what exactly are you hyping?
If the union lasted 10 years with children, what would the court grant the woman?

Kobojunkie:
Wrong!

If your marriage is registered with the courts or you do court marriage, what the courts can do is make sure that in the case of divorce, the man is forced to pay his share of childcare.

the ones being forced to pay 5k? Majority of men claim the children belong to him and try to keep them the irresponsible ones are told to send paltry sum. Is this the big right you are hyping?

Kobojunkie:
You think there is no law ?

So because nobody you know understands their right and place as individuals and citizens, means you too should ñot seek out your rights as an individual and citizen of your state and country?

If the LGA registry is bushy, why not inquire as to the office where you should go instead, and this from the State government office?

Men normally try, so all the women abandoned by their men to raise their children on their own are what? Fitments of our collective imaginations?

It is obvious from your post that you are quite ignorant of the place of registering marriages in the courts, court marriages. So I suggest you get yourself educated on these things first before you post any further comments on the matter.

even if you did court marriage, a man that will abandon you with your children will still do it and there isn't much the court can do or is it not the same court that will tell men to be sending 5k for the upkeep of 3 children? Is that what you are hyping?
Which reasonable will even be sending his children 5k monthly?
Is that the right you are hyping?

Kobojunkie:
You think there is no law ?

So because nobody you know understands their right and place as individuals and citizens, means you too should ñot seek out your rights as an individual and citizen of your state and country?

If the LGA registry is bushy, why not inquire as to the office where you should go instead, and this from the State government office?

Men normally try, so all the women abandoned by their men to raise their children on their own are what? Fitments of our collective imaginations?

It is obvious from your post that you are quite ignorant of the place of registering marriages in the courts, court marriages. So I suggest you get yourself educated on these things first before you post any further comments on the matter.

you still don't get my point. Doing registry doesn't give anyone any additional rights here, not doing registry doesn't take away any right from you. Registry is just another irrelevant process with no added benefit which is why people don't do it here. If you live in Lagos or Abuja where there isn't really tradition you can bring up the relevance of registry. Here, traditional wedding is number one then religious wedding. Doing registry doesn't give anyone any more rights than he already has.

Kobojunkie:
That means your sister are ignorant of their right as individuals and citizens in the country. In the eyes of Nigerian law, none of your sisters are married. They are in cohabitation agreements with the men they call their husbands.

Think about what you just now claimed of your sisters. Should any of them be asked for proof of marriage, at a government facility or even a foreign government office, what proof will ant of them have to show? What document indeed shows them as married?

What that also means is that should your in-laws up and abandon any of your sisters - leaving them with children - to marry another, your sisters will be left helpless in such situations as they would be no better than baby mama's in the eyes of the law.

there's no added benefit to doing registry here. Once you married or divorced traditionally everyone holds it as valid. If you do only registery nobody considers you married, neither traditional people nor religious bodies regards you as you a married woman so to people here it is completely unnecessary.

Lastly we are very polygamous here, their husbands don't even have to abandon them to marry another woman, he can marry the second or third wives and bring them home if he has the balls.

Not everything needs paper documents.
Marriage, like inheritance has its well defined law and arrangements that no one can tamper with. My grandfather left 100s of acres of land, not a single one was documented but nobody can dispute the fact that they belonged the family. It passed to the first born son, not a single document was handed over, elders came and did their thing and it's fully binding

Kobojunkie:
That means your sister are ignorant of their right as individuals and citizens in the country. In the eyes of Nigerian law, none of your sisters are married. They are in cohabitation agreements with the men they call their husbands.

Think about what you just now claimed of your sisters. Should any of them be asked for proof of marriage, at a government facility or even a foreign government office, what proof will ant of them have to show? What document indeed shows them as married?

What that also means is that should your in-laws up and abandon any of your sisters - leaving them with children - to marry another, your sisters will be left helpless in such situations as they would be no better than baby mama's in the eyes of the law.

what law? Here in my state tradition comes first. Nobody I know here has done any form of registry. I saw the the registry in Esan central LGA it is fully bushy, I doubt anybody has stepped foot in that building since forever. None of them can be abandoned with children as men normally try to claim children here, it's women who fight to keep the children. If you do court registery without doing traditional wedding you as single as hell, you won't even be allowed to burry your parents should they die unless you do traditional marriage. Once you have done your traditional wedding every institution regard you fully and legally wedded.

socialmediaman:
She needs to talk to him. It's unacceptable, but she can't resolve it by hiding his ATM. Who knows, maybe before they got married, he hyped everything like guys typically do, but reality has set in. A man has to become more responsible and drastically limit his risks at some point in his life. He's already failing in his responsibilities of providing shelter for the family, and it's not because he doesn't have a job, it's because he gambles it away trying to get rich quick. He needs help.

there's nothing to talk about. She needs to run away

MCKitchen:
The woman is senseless and instead of finding the root of her husband predicament she wants to create another atmosphere of tension and abuse.
She should as well join the husband in betting, who knows where the luck might come from. First she should return the Atm and ask the husband to teach her the game. See as the man will overturn her request that way he will minimize his waywardness.

NB: betting is no crime (+18)

or she could just pack her bags and leave. The man is a joke and will most likely be beaten to death in a Bet9ja shop when he gamble on credit and try to abscond

Kobojunkie:
The statement in bold is not true even in the Nigerian sense of the word marriage, this because most every marriage is registered and so long as one does not file formal divorce papers, the couple remains married by law.

Even your 99% religious marriages are registered with the courts - there is a marriage registry where you register your marriage at even when you do traditional marriage.

none of my sisters that got married ever did any form of registry. In fact nobody I I know has ever done that. Once bride price is paid here in Edo state you are 100% fully married. Traditional wedding is the most important thing here most men will never even follow you to court. To do what exactly? Maybe in Abuja and Lagos where tradition is not clear and strong.
I agree if they have papers in court they need to tear it

Kobojunkie:
And I am telling you that the very same divorce process available in Nigeria to the rich among them is also available to the poor in the same Nigeria.

You say the man was already done with the woman the moment he saw her in the restaurant, but that means absolutely nothing. So long as he is married to her, she can file marriage abandonment charges against him and have divorce processed that way.

Choice to remain in marriage? According to the OP, the man abandoned the marriage and since it takes two to make a marriage, what rational is there in choosing to live as an abandoned spouse? These women ought to have had their divorce processed through the courts is what I posted there.

what's the point? The moment she left the husband's house and he told her family he's done with the marriage she ceased to be his wife and she could remarry if she wants. Marriages in Nigeria are 99% religious /traditional. You don't need legal proceedings to dissolve it unless you are looking for material benefits which you will never get.

Kobojunkie:
So what meaning am I supposed to derive from this comment of yours?

That it is better for a woman to be abandoned with not even a penny to help with feeding or raising her kids when she is kicked out of her marriage?

Divorce laws apply across all states in Nigeria, so I I not certain why you assume your state is somehow exempt.
I don't follow at all?

oh you implied that if the man had gone through divorce with the first wife he would have learnt some sort of lesson that'd make him "mature"
I'm telling you that could only happen in the West. There's no divorce process here that could somehow affect the man. If you read the post, the man was already done with her the moment he saw her in a restaurant. I don't know where you got the impression that she even had choice to remain in the marriage from.

Kobojunkie:
Most of you don't even have any idea wetin reality be for the Nigeria una dey mouth off about.

Educate yourself abeg! Try to visit your courts and see how divorce happens regularly even in the very town you live in. It doesn't happen only in the movies and those who are divorced live normal lives, even better than those who chose to wallow in abandoned marriages do..

lol is the same divorcee wailing everywhere how the 5k court ordered their husband to pay them monthly can't feed them and their children?
Here in my state, if you want to divorce your husband carry your property and go, nobody is holding you. No man is learning any bitter lesson from getting divorced here in Nigeria

Kobojunkie:
Obviously your uncle is the problem here.

The other issue is the women he keeps engaging aren't educated on their rights as individuals even in marriage. If the first and second wife had processed the divorce from him in the courts as it should be, your uncle may have been forced to tackle maturity since then.

you feel say na Sweden you dey. You have watched too many Hollywood movies. Divorce your husband here let's see what you will get out of it

PrinceOfLag0s:
The country will be restless if he's not released. I assure you that!!!

Mideast will be restless. Do you think anyone outside dot region could care any less about how many days you people sit at home?

Bastardlyrich:
You are a big liar,which politician from SS has issue with se.
I'm from ss,we will never forgive sw never.
Do you know what yorubad people have done to us.
The betraying and backstabbing was too much,apart from the ugly Yoruba man obj killing innocent ijaws in odi.
As for you people trying to make us hate sex is impossible,you know why.
Most of us from SS have our mothers from se.
The igbos are our brothers.
I repeat we won't vote even o sin ban no but presenting the uglyy irritating vulture Tinubu will be worst.

lmao, how did Yoruba betray anybody? I doubt you are from South South if you believe SS will vote Atiku over Tinubu. Maybe Akwa Ibom but Edo, Delta and maybe Rivers will never vote Atiku over Tinubu or Osinbajo

Prefer osinbajo

Macphenson:
You sound pained. Whether they pay him the money or not, it is a win win for him.

You falsely branded somebody a terrorist and your courts are awarding him one billion damages against you? Are you getting the picture?
That judgement exposed the foolishness of this administration.

By the way tell them to appeal it now they have the time, else in future, garnishee order takes effect

appeal what? Do you think anyone has even told Malami? Invalid judgment. A judge that would have been eaten inside melon soup if he pronounced judgment other than this can never been recognised as a valid judge

fkj950ax:
Just for reference

I know exactly what it means. Do you believe anyone finds that offensive?
If as a man you still find being called a misogynist offensive then you are biggest simp in the world. Call out bad behaviour of a female and watch her call you a misogynist. If a woman wire you slap and you slap her back you will be called a misogynist. The moment you stop finding the word offensive then nobody can manipulate you emotionally

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Steady display of lack of intelligence..
Single mother are garbage?
Really..what if she was raped and birthed the kid..
What if the husband lost his life..
What if the husband abadoned the woman..

Baby boy you are so clueless and at this point only a person who's probably daft will take your words..
He said they don't deserve pity for being a single mother?
So even if they were raped they still don't deserve Pity?
What's this guy even saying for f**ks sake..

You are nothing but a MISOGYNIST
You should be avoided at all cost cos I can't imagine what you are capable of doing to the woman who birthed you if you are comfortable Makin that statement..

do you really believe anyone find the word 'misogynist' as derogatory? I feel blessed when anybody calls me a misogynist. It's so fulfilling to be called a misogynist

Brexxit:
Are you this jobless that all you think about is women?

You mofos forming redpill nonsense will still be the ones sending loads of pms to every moniker having the f letter.

post screenshot of pm or kindly shut up

GoodHardDick:
Trash

Na the lady still lose nah

how she take lose? My girlfriend was telling me the other day how her cousemate narrated how she saw a guy's prick in the swimming, tried to talk to the guy so they can have sex, he refused she had to pay him 10k. Girls love sex too

LINTUNE:
Imagine if it was the other way round, would the guy even be given chance to explaine before being lynched?..what if the case wasn't that of rape, what if they just had a disagreement or so..men, we men are becoming extint... nothing favours men anymore in today's society,women now take jobs belonging to men, meanwhile there are certain jobs still peculiar to women only, we no fit follow them drag those jobs ..the law now favours women more, let a man and a woman commit the same crime, observe how preferential treatment will be given to the woman.. society has now given women so much power that ppl believe a woman can't lie,she is blameless, any bad thing she does, society will give excuse for it,is this the same with men.....this is why the redpill movement is here, it's not some misogynist ideology, or an ideology that sees women as sex object..the redpill is here to liberate men,to open our fucking eyes...this laws favoring women were established by men,why must it be so?...the way the world is going, isn't it obvious that women are becoming more superior?, .....please just try to imagine this situation was reversed ,I kid u not,that man won't even survive the mob, let alone given chance to visit the court....dead men tells no tales indeed.

men are disposable. We've always been right from time.

womenareapess:
He is afraid of his own arm bandit

bandits no fit touch bubu even if he waka enter their middle. Terrorist sef know their mate.

I hope you are not teaching

Misterone:
they say if you want to understand a man, study animals. man is just a civilized animal. a lion that wants to have a relationship with a lioness that has babies will first try to kill the cubs. nature made man to hate other men offsprings. when you sleep with a man's wife, his instinct of self preservation through his seeds is shaken. he starts have doubts whether his offsprings are his. man does not want to take care of another man's offsprings.

na only you get sense for here. We are talking natural instinct those idiots are talking about spending. As a man the only "guarantee" you have that the children you are waking up every morning to kill yourself for are yours is the blind trust you placed on your wife not to sleep with other men. Once you realised she's sleeping with other men, you automatically no longer know if the children you are hustling to feed are yours or even from your tribe. Every tribe hate adulterous women, not just men but the entire community.

DMerciful:
Igbos outside SE are more than Igbos in SE!

lol which election have they influenced? Nobody rate you guy. Even Pdp will rather flag Wike than your people.

DMerciful:
Don't be dull, Igbos are the second largest ethnic group in Nigeria. Take it or leave it

fugazi majority that can never deliver 1 million votes from a single state.

This one na for ugly people

See this mugu. What if she is staring at you wondering how someone can be this dirty or just trying to understand why you look so tattered?
You think everyone who looks at you is admiring you? Fool