₦airaland Forum

April fool (in areas)

werepeLeri:
You really need to eat some rat poison.

you are the one dat needs the rat poison and a cup of acid rain water to wash it down , ode

but i was raised in england sweets is my life never had jedi-jedi my siblins just used to tell me stories of how you eat sugary stuff in naij and the next day your bum will be red and itchy, but i went naij i swear dem kids dont eat sugar i mean the sugar in babadudu and niko sweets dont compare to the gummy worms and smarties i have been consuming so i refuse to beleive sugar causes jedijedi in our nation

dear stingy mofo,
i can see one woman can not satisfy you none of them hoes can tolerate ur bullshit and when you run back to me i wont be there, we still havent spoken in days, you must think its wierd cos i'm addicted to you i'm staying strong, i wont be calling you first and if you dont call i guess its over

Listen people stop the arguments.
HIV/AIDS is real and people spread it everyday so fact is millions of nigerians will get it. its only sad that individuals usually think it cant be them but it can be you! if you are always single and enjoy linking up different partner especially with no condom you will catch it eventually. that the bitter truth.

the person that claims you can see the sign is a clown, the only time you can tell is in their last days, when eyes are enlarged from the dry eyesocket and the neck bone is sticking out like a tree you better fear.

But this zhit is an epidemy in our country what can we do its growing faster like wild fire compared to the 80's and 90's

A man waved his wife goodbye travelling out of town wit d driver to drop him at the airport. On his way, he remembered he forgot an important doc and returned home. His wife was having her bath with soap on her face; d husband tiptoed to d bathroom and touched her balloons. The wife responded "Akpan, u don drop oga so soon, don't start now o, sebi we have a whole a week to ourselves". When there was no response, she washd her face and behold her husband was staring.if u were in either of the husband or wive“s shoe wat will u do ?

vote never begin people are dieng tommorrow will need Lords mercy on nigerians, in naij people dont like to lose won ki n gba whyyy

how much were they paid? / where are the car keys bribe  plus dey are all ibo na

also remember how our landlady would say adedoyin iboloda? "we are going to church", oda eki kpaito yin oo, for years i used to think kpaito was a yoruba word for God until i clicked that the old lady meant pastor

iyeye trees are so tall the only way of eating them is to wait for them to drop and eat, so we thought by siging it drops, me, my sister and friends coming back from holiday lesson would start singing: iyeye wa shemi l'alejo re, tooba shemil'alejo re, kondo kan kumo kan l'eyin re jabo !! and boom boom they starts falling
then these usually happens cos one would try and jack another's

she looks buriful buh mag itself is lame, lame title lame graphics *sighs dey need to employ me as a publisher / editor/watevr

at least students and peeops dieng on road accident like fowl would reduce

what should they do in naij

y'all have another pic of her before i pass my judgement she looks like shes on crack here

mrs goodluck has dropped another one oo. her excellecy dey vex us, you all remember her series of blunders and how public attcked her illetracy? at stuff like "my fellow widowers" well she has done it again. she goes:

Ahem,*she stares into her left whilst holding a microphone and said yes thank you boys the megaphone is working: bla bla bla and "For those who said I speech bad English, I left them for God! And I am still "Miss" Jonathan and her first lady!"  people started clapping and laughing---> at her

Lo ba tan.

the bothers def fancy me while his sister kept licking my ass, i took it as they dont have sexy elewa in their house haha

jason oloju rangandan obviously wants to start a riot, i heared they said! they are usually the originator

mine was different, parent was so broke sometimes we'd have popcorn and 1 naira ice-cream to sleep   then our last born turned one year old he quickly had anaemia cos bosom milk wasn't enough again. out of fun my mum said do you realize everyone is poor at our church while at some churches everyone is rich, as in you cant spot a poor man at some churches and bingo my Dad said we are changing churches so from christ miracle we started attending winners chapel and what do you know breakthrough came he bought a volvo and now even i dont know his excat amount of cars he owns, some are office cars, some would be his boss's car, some new, some a gift yet to be delivered i thank God oo . and my mum? i just love her! and my siblings they have tried if anything would happen to them it should happen to me instead oo but the good lord would care for us all (amin)

Ladies:
Last night was all rave and booze, all you can think of is facebook! as you pout and pose for the camera. On the next day at work you get a notification on your bb that you have been tagged in an album: you clicked view and found this. what would you do? Remember you were at work.
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its simple eat smaller portion and excercise more, give up the pork chops and pasta for steamed veg and fish/prawns however you still wont lose weight until you exercise at the gym regularly so yh go and register, lift weights and run the mill down

;d

wizzy bad guy ti ko le je eko kan tan! timba fun l'efakun olorun loma catch e

i can see the promiscuous tonto dike wan spread her toto over this kids banana?

my bf is terry Gs friend and knows da industry very well, i'm not even lieing as I was told basically its easy to start a fight as an artist, cos all of them as you see them have been taken advantage of, they perform and dont get paid and give up on pursuing their money to prevent bad publicity, in kellys case i'm guessing they tried to take the piss but he took his chances by reacting. just my two cents

too early babe, you might gain a few pounds within six months or even decide to loose weight, get a dress / invite in three months to wedding, every other things should be 8 weeks before. good luck

dont think we offer much until we are legally married to a man, one time my bf said "what can you offer me in this relationship" the question still rings a bell in my mind but oh well, this annoyed me a bit but I know i shine in the kitchen and bedroom thats my strenght i'll keep it up

genefif should smile now who pour water pon her popcorn

enemy is a must if you wan blow! success na turn by turn Jo should tell Baba God make e reach am turn

family experience, when my Dad came up and every wanka in the family wants a post, come see hatred and jujuism just because my mum says never because even people with schoolcert wants to be managers and directors, then accusations arose from every corner and we were labelled bad. I can assure you this Jo woman is just unhappy about something else shiior