₦airaland Forum

****** UPDATED!!! ******

NAIRALAND IFTAAR SEASON 6: 2014

DATE: Sunday 20th July, 2014

VENUE: Araromi Community Central Mosque, Diya Street, Opposite Gbagada Playing Ground. Beside Sweet sensation/Access Bank, Gbagada, Lagos State

TIME: 4.00PM PROMPT (NO AFRICAN TIME)

HOST: Thirty and hrmkz


GUEST LECTURER: USTADZ ABDULRAHIM BASHIR; Asst. Chief Imam UNILAG Central Mosque; Lecturer, Department of Arts and Social Sciences Education, Faculty of Education, University of Lagos.


TOPIC: Muslim and Peaceful Co-Existence with Non-Muslims: Quranic Narrative


Assembling will start by 4pm (No African Time) at the above chosen venue and lasts till after break of fast and moghrib, or we wait till 8pm for Ishai.

PROGRAMME

4.00 - 4.30: Arrival
4.30 - 4.40: Introduction
4:40 - 5:00: Opening prayers/Fidau Prayer for hrmkz late mum and all our deceased relations
5.00 - 5.10: Opening remarks by the moderator(s) present
5:10 - 6.00: Lecture
6.00 - 6.15: Questions and Answers
6.15 - 6:55: Open session (Deliberation on NAIRALAND MUSLIM FORUM PROJECTS among other arising issues)
6.55 - 7.00: Breaking of fast with fruits
7.00 - 7.10: Moghrib
7.10 - 7.30: Main menu/Food
7.30 : Closing Prayers/Dispersal/Isha'


All Nairaland Muslims who are interested in attending this year RAMADAN IFTAAR should signify in order for their name to be added to the list of attendance.

NAIRALAND IFTAAR SEASON 6: 2014

2014 Ramadan might likely start tomorrow 28th June, 2014 if moon is sighted or Sunday, 29th June, 2014 and Insha Allah, we are having Season 6 of Nairalander's Ramadan Iftaar. Bearing in mind that it is better held on a weekend, we have these possible dates:

Saturday 5th July
Sunday 6th July
Saturday 12th July
Sunday 13th July
Saturday 19th July
Sunday 20th July


HOST/SPONSORSHIP

Individual, Group or part sponsorship will be welcomed. Contribution is also welcomed. Any member may as well decide to host us in his house.
From past experience, budget will be around 40-50k depending on attendance.

Assembling will start by 4pm at the chosen venue and lasts till after break of fast and moghrib, or we wait till 8pm for Ishai. Programmes
lined up for the event include: opening remarks by the moderator(s); faces behind the IDs(introduction); general discussions; short lecture;
breaking of fast with fruits; main menu etc. Its going to be fun, Insha Allah. People that attended past editions will tell you.

Expecting to hear from jarus and majoroller whether they will host Nairalanders RAMADAN IFTAAR this year. Other member who also wish to contribute toward this programme or host one of the weekend should show intention as quickly as possible in order for the preparation to start immediately.

RAMADAN MUBARAK....

PRE-RAMADAN LECTURE AND NAIRALAND IFTAAR (SEASON 6)

Alhamdullah for the successfully holding of the inaugural NAIRALAND PRE-RAMADAN LECTURE which we schedule as follows (For Record Purpose)

PRE-RAMADAN LECTURE

Date : 22nd June, 2014

Time : 10am to Zuhr

Venue : ALHAJA SALI MOTU CENTRAL MOSQUE, Beside Choppies Fast Food, Ojuelegba, Surulere, Lagos State

Lecturer: Tbaba1234

Topic : Ramadan: A Qur'an Narrative


Thanks to all Nairaland Muslims who partake in the suggestions, organizations and successful holding of the Lecture and for those you created time to attend the lecture and also tbaba1234 for the wonderful lecture delivered, may Almighty Allah take it as an act of Ibadah and we shall witness many more Ramadan in good health (AMIN).

Almighty Allah will give us the strength and power to continue holding the PRE-RAMADAN LECTURE in a more bigger way from now on Insha Allah (Amin)


Based on our suggestion after the PRE-RAMADAN LECTURE on Sunday, 22 June, 2014, the suggested thread has been created in order to discuss the way we can do our little parts toward propagating ISLAM. Kindly click this link to the thread: https://www.nairaland.com/1788627/nairaland-muslim-forum

Wow... All the comments and planning for this year RAMADAN IFTAAR is gone! Anyway, Almighty Allah knows best.

[size=14pt]Don’t stress over the things
that you can not change.
Make “DUA” over them.
[/size]

Jumma Mubarak..!!

You want to save. You swear you’re going to save. But you said that last year, too, and your bank account doesn’t look much healthier.

Saying “I need to save” means you’ve recognized a basic financial fact: You need to take responsibility for your financial life. You really intend to do it – one of these days.

Or maybe you’re just financially overwhelmed, especially if you haven’t gotten a raise lately or if you’ve undergone a spell of unemployment. It’s easy to convince yourself that you’ll save “later.”

The best time to start saving money? Ten years ago. The second-best time? Today.

Want 2014 to be the year you turn things around? Simple tactics can make all the difference.

Step 1: You need a goal

The first thing to do is set a specific goal. “In 2014 I’m going to start an emergency fund” or “I resolve to have a healthy bank account this time next year” are both fatally vague. What’s a “healthy” account? Try this instead: Pick a specific sum. It could represent, for example, your emergency fund, the cost of a long-deferred vacation or a down payment on a house. Your choice.

You could divide that amount by 12 and put that result into savings each month. Or you could divide that goal by 52. Why 52? Because a small, weekly savings plan is less traumatic than a once-a-month withdrawal. You learn to live on what’s left week by week, vs. losing a (relatively) big chunk all at once.

Let’s start with an easy example: Let us assume you intend of saving N150,000 this year. Divide the N150,000 by 52 and you get N2,885 or if you want to be having such saving every month, it will be N150,000 divide by 12 which is equal to N12,500. Depending on individual capacity, just divide any amount you are targeting by either daily, weekly or monthly to know much you will be contributing to your Savings Account.

Step 2: Pay yourself first

The old saw holds true: Pay yourself first. Otherwise that “extra” N2,885 will get spent on something nonessential, like going to eatery, etc.

Or even for something essential, like rent. Paying yourself first forces you to get smarter about the way you let money slip away each month, as you will have to decide on how to manage the remaining balance left after deducting a certain amount that you target to be going to your Savings Account.

Step 3: Automate

Automate a weekly withdrawal of N2,885 (or whatever your selected amount is) from your other Account to that dedicated Savings Account. Why automate it? Because that way it’s sure to happen every week or month. Treat your savings like any other bill that you pay without been reminded every month.

Step 4: Track your expenses

Track your expenses by writing everything you spend down or you can get a free Expenses tracking service on www.PowerWallet.com, which shows you where your money is going. Now you can look for ways to save on everyday expenses. Just register on that site and start tracking your expenses and income. The service offer the service for free.

Step 5: Earn more or spend less? (Why not both?)

Most of the people either always or usually live paycheck to paycheck. If you’re in this situation you might wonder how to find that N2,885 per week or N12,500 per month (or any certain amount you intended to be saving).

Let’s turn that idea on its head: If you had an emergency, how would you find the however-many-naira it would take to fix things? Better to sacrifice N2,885 a week than to have to come up with N150,000 all at once or sometimes, the friend you are hoping to rely on might not be able to help or borrow such money when the needs arise.

Even if you’re not in that situation, you’ll need to find ways to set extra money aside to meet your goal. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

A. Pick up extra work. If extra hours on the job aren’t available, you can find other ways to earn more money. You might start Mini Importation Business (there are many threads on Business Section of Nairaland that have talked extensively about this business and people are already making it big in the business), house cleaning, Laundry Services, and the like are all tried-and-true methods. Try thinking outside the box, though.

B. Cut back on eating out. Way back. Cooking at home is much, much cheaper. Can’t cook? Go online or to the library for easy recipes. Do this gradually if you’re a total restaurant junkie. For instance, cook two times a week at first (and make the meals big ones so you’ll have leftovers to carry to work).

C. Cut other everyday expenses. Reduce Cable subscription costs by ditching traditional TV stations (or at least subscribing for a lesser one). Look for cheap or free ways to entertain yourself.

D. Look for savings elsewhere. For instance, always try to negotiate price, most of us are fond of paying a certain amount a Sales Girl tell us at the store, always ask if there is some sort of discount on the product you are about to purchase. You will really be amazed on how much you will be saving, if you imbibe the culture of price negotiation.

E. Sell stuff. Selling in Nigeria are now made easy with the introduction of so many free online classified advert website like olx, tradestable, etc., you can easily go through Mini Importation threads of Nairaland to start importing hot selling goods and sell on these sites or look for an importer or a wholesalers who can sell such goods for you at a lower rate in order for you to resell and make your own profit. You will be amazed how much most of the cloth they sell online for N3,500 to N5,000 are sold at Balogun, Idumota and the rest where they sell in wholesale price. Most of these wholesalers at Idumota, Balogun and the rest, never know anything like online free classified advert website, you can cease that opportunity to buy from them at a more cheaper rate and sell at exhorbitant price online.

F. Tell yourself “no” more often. Well, scratch that: Tell yourself “not now” or “not today” when you’re itching to buy any unnecessary item. Don’t stop treating yourself entirely – just pick your spots. Most of what we buy sometimes are unnecessary and moreso, does not always add value to us. Nigerians most especially are technology freak, they always want to buy latest phone in the market, whereas, the mobile phone they are currently using can also perform the same or up to 90% functions of the new very expensive gadgets.

Try one new tactic at a time until you’re confident you can pry that whatever amount you’ve picked – from your budget. Watch that savings account creep up. If through luck or diligence you find a little extra money in the budget some weeks, shoot it over to savings.

Pat yourself on the back (just a little), but don’t consider the matter closed. Instead, keep looking for ways to increase your savings. (Hint:Slow growth is better than no growth.)

Yes, it can be tough. But it gets easier, or at least becomes second nature to pay yourself first. If times are tight, don’t let that undermine a better future – and that future starts now.

culled from MoneyTalksNews.com and edited to fit into the Nigeria context

deols: Nothing in the story says that the woman argues a lot. I dont understand why you are making it seem like the wife is guilty.


We don't know if she is guilty or not. But whatever the case maybe, is it Ok for a man to not talk with his wife for a week??


*****

would it be ok if the wife decides to give him d same treatment anytime heboffends her?

No! I didn't conclude or judge in my post that the woman is at fault; What I said is that "she might" (go through my comment again).

I only gave my own suggestion on how the woman can proffer solution to such issue; that is why I recommend that she should try not to argue again but rather accept whatever they are arguing on at the initial stage, which she can later point out her view when her husband is calm.

I will NEVER recommend that the wife should give him the same treatment because it might turn to big issue which might lead to divorce on the long run and you should know that nobody is perfect in life, that is why there should be some form of tolerance in marriage. There is nobody that is 100% perfect in life, so we should always try to tolerate some bad sides of our partner in order to live a happy life.

tbaba1234: I was reading a post in the family section about a woman whose husband gave her the silent treatment lasting days whenever they argued.

What are your views of this? I feel couples should settle as soon as possible because the silent treatment can be overdone and cause a much bigger rift.

Is there a limit to the silent treatment?

First of all, in such a situation, the woman should always avoid argument with the husband so that they can always live peacefully since her husband is not tolerance enough. What i see in this case is that, may be the wife might be the one who always want her own opinion to override that of her husband. Some man might tolerate this type of thing while most men will always feel frustrated by this type of attitude; as everybody believe (especially African culture) that a man should be the head of the house and will always want his opinion to be the final.

The woman should just stop arguing, even if she cant obey any issue they are been arguing about, she should just pretend as if the husband opinion is alright with her while she will now try to gently explain her own point of view to the husband may be in the middle of the night when such husband head might have been settle or when she notice that the husband is in happy mood.

I have always said it (even though I am still single) marriage can always work on a strong pillar of TOLERANCE and COMPROMISE. No matter how compatible husband and wife might be, they can NEVER always have the same ideology, they should just always find a middle point to operate in order to live happier for long. Yoruba always said it that "Ti oko ba je ewure ki iyawo je agutan" (meaning, if husband is goat, the wife should try to be sheep or vice versa). We all know that a goat will never dispute sheep while sheep too will never dispute goat.

maclatunji: @bolded, sometimes it is not about forgiveness or condemnation and more about realities. For example, a woman who has had abortions in the past may find it difficult to have children. A previously wayward sister would find it difficult to manage the jeers of her ex-lovers and wayward ex-female friends in public. These things put a strain on marriages even if the husband now loves her, it might get to a point where he feels undermined by her past.

These things can also happen for men but to a lesser degree. How many women would point in public to married men that had slept with them in their single days? Not many because they might have more to lose by doing so.

The bottomline is: women have a lot more to gain in this world from chastity than men. That should change in the hereafter of course.

I quite understand your point, but what about if a good Muslim sister has done so many bad things in the past which you knew nothing about and she refused to tell you; only for you to discover yourself after both of you have married.... What will you do?

To me, it is always better to know at the initial stage than getting to know on a long run.

tbaba1234: Many Muslim men after living a long life of practicing major sinful acts such as drinking, adultery, clubbing and so on, come back and repent to Allah swt. Alhamdulilah. However, when some of those men start looking for a wife, they look for someone who is as pure as a Mary (pbuh). Now that's hard to grasp, but what is even harder to grasp and more sickening is when a man who did not even repent, practiceing a life of a non-Muslim, and still wants someone as pure as Mary (pbuh).

Question is, why did society make a female's sin worth so much more than a male's sin? A sin is a sin. Whether it's from a male or a female. A girl having a *bad* history is worth the same as a guy having a bad history. A girl should not be ignored just because she once talked to a guy or because she did not wear the Hijab during a certain time of her life. Wallahi girls get pushed aside for the silliest reasons such as, "because her brother in law's cousin's brother's son's wife smokes Shisha..."

Please remember, Allah is the most fair. He will give you someone who you deserve. So the more you work on improving your self, the better your spouse will be inshaAllah

-Mohammed Zeyara

Nice write up... Tbaba, I really commend you for posting this well thought article - Jazak-Allah Hairah

I have always watched with dismay on how unfair people are always toward female gender as they try every possible means to justify the sin of the male gender while highly condenming the female folks. There is a funny quote they normally use to buttress this point, which is as follow: "A key that can open any padlock is called a MASTER KEY while a padlock that any key can open is a Useless padlock" (which mean that guy are allow to commit sinah as much as he likes while our sisters (Muslimah) should never go near it).

To me, sin is simply a sin, it is not fair to weigh the sin of one gender above another; as Allah is the ONLY ONE who can judge the mankind.

PERSONALLY, i don't look down on anybody whether male or female that have committed sin before and now repented... I can even marry any sister who have done sinah in the past but that have now realized her mistake... Because Almighty Allah told us HE is Inna Laha Gafur Roheem (He is the forgiver and the merciful). So much more we human being who are also a SINNER.

May Almighty Allah continue to grant is mercy and forgiveness upon us (Amin).

INTER-TRIBAL marriage is very fascinating and as well very complicating.

In as much as Inter-tribal marriage has advantages, it also has some disadvantages BUT either of the advantages or disadvantages are always self-made. How successful inter-tribal marriage will be, always buoy down to the individuals involved and their level of tolerance and love that exist between both parties in order for them to overcome some of the challenges they will experience along the line in their marriage.

We should however know that inter-tribal marriage working for some people DOES NOT mean that it will always work for everybody; it all depends on somebody's ideology and desire of what he/she want.

This does not however, mean that when somebody say he/she cannot go into inter-tribal marriage that such person is TRIBALISTIC or DISCRIMINATING or not appreciating/acknowledging that, we are all created by God; is just base on the person choice, which in as much as I know is NEVER a SIN.

Though ISLAM really encourage inter-tribal marriage BUT it is never mandatory because I have also never came across any Qur'an Verse or Hadith that mandated that people MUST marry from other tribe as against their wish.

On a final note, everybody has it choice in life, and once the choice never go against Islamic injunctions, I don't think we should force our own idea down the throat of others (we can only express our opinion). Everyone of us know her limit of tolerance and what he/she really want for herself and her future... and what has worked and still working for some people might not work for others; that is why is good to know what we want in order to save ourselves the stress of been regretting in the future.

May Almighty Allah continue to guide us through the right path and let our desires go along with HIS decree upon us in every aspect of our life (Amin)!

deols: Agreed. Education is what matters and a mind open to probe and ready to learn new things.

But who else does not know that a University is where you get the better Education, where Nigeria is concerned.

Education is what matters but I used University in the context of a woman who also had that kind of education. She would need a man that much educated or exposed.

and when you mentioned China and what have you, it is still like talking about the pepper seller or the mechanic. The mechanic can do well in his field but that does not make him someone a graduate would be comfortable with.

It may happen in other places that people well educated marry non educated people, but I will never encourage it in a Nigeria filled with egoistic men. Before you know it, he is drawing her back and making her drop her career for flimsy excuses.

You are right... Not everybody will want to marry somebody that is not up to his/her standard.

But my own opinion on this matter is that, some (underline the some) so-called Secondary School Leaver are always sometimes better than graduate in terms of behaviour, caring and responsible. Some graduate man always forced their wife to drop her career (I have seen that so many times). The problem is not been in whether he is educated or not; an a Man is egoistic, whether educated or not, he will still remain the same.

When you are advising now that, Nigeria graduate girls should NEVER marry non-graduate, have you consider that some of the so-called girl graduate might be sponsor by the guy that she must have education.

What we should just be praying for, is that, God should grant us our most compatible partner that we will be able to live happily for life. It is always better some times to have a very compatible non-graduate partner that has all the qualities we want and desire THAN a graduate that is irresponsible and incompatible.

MOREOVER, as a MUSLIM, I so much believe in Qadar (destiny); Almighty Allah already know and decree what everyone of us will be and what will befall us: "Verily, We have created all things with Qadar [Divine Preordainments of all things before their creation, as written in the Book of Decrees Al-Lawh Al-Mahfûz].(Surat al-Qamar, 49)".

We should however just always pray for the best... We know what is good for us BUT Almighty Allah know what is BEST for us.

Maa Salam

NOBODY is saying here that EDUCATION is not important (please don't get me wrong), the information I am trying to pass through is that, is not ONLY University that can give someone a form of education to be intelligent, exposed or successful.

Nigerians always believe the University is the only source of acquiring education, which is why we now have half-baked graduates because so many people that does not have any business going to University in the first place are now there just to show off. Skill and Acquisition, Vocational, Business Schools among so many other informal schools are also form of education that can always expose individual to any capacity in life.

Is not everybody that will go to University, China and other fast growing Economy have realized this, that is why their child are been enrolled in Vocational and Skill & Acquisition Centre more than the so-called University. Is our mentality of I MUST GO TO UNIVERSITY that has made Nigeria to has one of the most Unemployment Youth in the world.

Education will always be Education either Formal or Informal; Is true Prophet Muhammed (SAW) said we should always seek (knowledge) education, but he NEVER mention University Education... Education can be learned or acquired from any where depending on what the person is trying to become in life.

I am so sure, nobody here will want to give his/her car to a Nigerian graduate of Mechanical Engineering to repair while you see a very good Mechanic who didn't even read Primary Six. That is how life is!

NOBODY is a total illiterate in the world again because YOU can only be literate in what you know while you will also be an illiterate in the field you know nothing about.

I am not trying to win this argument but I am just trying to pass my own point across.

deols: @wizeboy, don't confuse things. There is a difference between being financially successful and being educated. No one says both are the same. In fact, meat and pepper sellers in Nigeria are rich. That does not make pepper selling ideal or a meat seller the ideal man.

Education is about exposure and thought process. For marriage, you need to have people who can share your view or idea of life with you so that you don't have problems.

Note that I wrote that a secondary school certificate holder who reads books is better than the ones who don't.

Mentioning Bill Gates as an example. How many Bill Gates's exist?? and do you know if he reads? or employs people who are well read?? Money is not what I am talking about actually, I am talking about education making a difference in your quality of life.

I am not talking about been rich, the list of people i mentioned up there are not only rich but are great inventors, innovators and technocrats in their field.

I agree with your point BECAUSE you have change University to education, which is what I mainly explain in my post. Education is very essential in life (either formal or informal). Both formal or informal education can expose people to act intelligently. What I simply explain in my post is that, is not only University that can make people expose, intelligent or civilized but other form of education can also do that.

I agree that in marriage you need to have somebody who share your view and idea BUT somethings, been educated does not mean the person will share your view because he/she might have his/her own ideology. There has always been so many criticism to different ideology among the so-called great scholars too.

The most important prayer is that, Almighty Allah should give us the spouse who will be the bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh. We should however, not forget that what makes any marriage works longer is COMPROMISE!

Almighty Allah will guide us aright (Amen)!

deols: Education does have evrything to add to whom you are. How can you compare a secondary school leaver to a University graduate?

Maybe the bad state of the Nigerian Education system makes people think this way.

No matter how intelligent you are as you graduate secondary school, every form of education you add to it makes you more intelligent, better at solving issues, seeing the world differently, etc.

Even the prophet asked us to 'learn from cradle to grave'.

Knowledge can NEVER be overestimated. It is what you should continue to struggle for.

Except that that secondary school leaver buys books and reads, he can never be compared with someone who went further. Something else that comes with university education is responsibility, leadership, team work, competition. You get drilled and exposed to all forms of tiring exercises that prepare you for all kinds of hardship.

Now imagine being married to someone who is intellectually sub par. How will you not argue all the time?

I remember hearing long ago about some brothers who would not allow their Children to be vaccinated. They said the west was injecting them to control population. Imagine being married to someone like that and putting your children at risk of polio and what have you...

Well Said...

But is not everybody that went to University that are more intelligent than Secondary School leaver. It all depend on individual, we have heard so many news about some graduate that are unable to spell their names, or even solve simple problem which a Secondary School leaver will do conveniently.

Though education is very essential in every human life, but we have really focus our mind that quality education can only be obtain in the University, which is very wrong. Some people going through informal education system sometimes are always far better than the so-called University graduate. The only advantage a University graduate in Nigeria might have over Secondary School leaver is the expression of oneself and this is because Nigeria uses English as official language, apart from that, I have not seen what University graduate will do in terms of intelligent that Secondary School leaver might not do.

This is not only common in Nigeria, all over the world, some of the highly influential people never went to University and they are as intelligent (even sometimes more than the so-called University don). Let me simply give you three names out of the numerous in the world:

1. Thomas Edison dropped out after only three months of formal education and is probably the most famous and productive inventor of all time, with more than 1,000 patents in his name, including the electric light bulb, and motion picture camera.

2. Benjamin Franklin also drop out of school and later became author, printer, publisher, scientist, inventor, founding father, and coauthor and cosigner of the Declaration of Independence.

3. Bill Gates is NEVER a University graduate and he is now a co-founder of the software giant Microsoft and has been ranked the richest person in the world

To me, University education is been over-hyped because intelligent is based on individual, is how you want to develop yourself, the type of environment you are and what you really want to make of your future.

Though, everybody in life has choice on what they want; your choice of a graduate is NEVER a bad idea and may Almighty Allah grant you and everyone of us our heart wishes, desires and prayers (Amin)

baba11: I was in a BRT yesterday and right behind my seat,two elder men in their 50s and 60s were conversing about their respective wife.The first man said:he married because his wife was exceedingly attractive when he wanted to marry her and that now,he is regretting for going for her because of her present attitude.The second man said:he wanted to marry a particular lady because of her beauty but he changed that because he was warned against such,so he has to go for the ever-cheerful and good attitude one.He said he's happy with her and if their is reincarnation,he's still going to marry her.I wanted to excuse them and chip in mine so that they'll lecture me thoroughly on marriage affairs,but restrained due to the environs.What do you have to say on this?It was a personal experience!!!

Hmmmmm, is always a difficult situation when it comes to choosing a spouse between a beautiful woman and good attitude (but not attractive) woman. Every man will always want to go for the Beautiful woman hoping that he will be able to amend some of her character when they get marry, which opposite is always the case.

It really take a lot of courage for a man to choose "not too beautiful woman over beautiful woman" because every man want to use his wife as a source of pride whether directly or indirectly. I believe this is always the source of problems/challenges of so many marriage, as the man just want a person he can always use to boost to his colleagues directly or indirectly; forgetting that HAPPY HOME is much more important than that.

In my own opinion, there is no woman that is not beautiful, beauty they say is in the eye of the behold. I will therefore, prefer a well-mannered and good attitude woman over a gorgeous and very beautify woman; moreso, once there is money, there is no woman that cannot be as beautiful as you want, check out some of the First Lady of either Governors or President in Nigeria, some of them will somehow not be as attractive as they are when there husband assume the position.

THE DILEMMA i think we should also discuss here is: choosing between a good mannered and well attitude woman (who might not be Muslim) OR bad character woman who is Muslim.

The above issue has always bothered me because, I always see many people marrying non-Muslim woman and their main reason is always because the Muslim woman they see around are not so good in character. I always observed this trend too; for example, if I am to choose anyone to marry today (dont know about tomorrow) from the female friends I have (just friend and not Girlfriend as in Lover), I will prefer to choose non-Muslim because, even the so-called very religious woman among my so-called friends always have some form of irritating character from impatience to nagging to some other bad attitude which the non-Muslim don't really have (NOT Generalizing here, that is not to say all Muslim woman are bad) but that is what I always discovered with the people around me, even with the fact that I am somehow tolerance, I still found their behaviour very irritating.

SO, kindly let us discuss on this too and I will like if there is any Qur'an verse, Hadith or Ummah that have really talked about this issue in the past.

Maa Salam

Marriage is highly recommended in Islam as its been regarded as an half of deen.

The Holy Quran says,
“And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.” (Surah an-Nur, 24:32)

The above ayat begins with the words Wa Ankehoo (And marry…). The imperative form of the word ‘nikah’ implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended.1 According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.

The Prophet (S) says, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage.”
On another occasion the Prophet (S) said,
“The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.” 3
Imam ‘Ali (A.S.) exhorts, “Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Prophet (S).” The Prophet (S) also said, “Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition.”

IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE ARE AS FOLLOWS:

1. Marriage Enhances the Value of Prayers

The Prophet (S) said, “Two rak‘ats (cycles) prayed by a married person are better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person.” 10
A woman came to the Prophet (S) and said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her.
The Prophet (S) told her to inform her husband about the reward of sexual intercourse which he described as follows: “When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah’s views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins.

2. Marriage increases Sustenance

The Holy Prophet (S) remarked, “Give spouses to your single ones, because Allah makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadow of marriage) and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity (human values).”

3. Fulfillment of Sexual Urge

The Holy Prophet (S) and the Holy Imams (A.S.) also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways.

4. Various studies prove that married people remain healthier, physically and mentally. Islam has always maintained that marriage is beneficial for us in many ways.

Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection.
The Prophet (S) said, “One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” 9 How true! A person who fulfills his sexual urges lawfully would rarely be distracted in spiritual pursuits.

May Almighty Allah continue to guide us aright and increase our knowledge towards the right path (Amin)

Juma'ah Mubarak to all Muslim brothers and sisters... Its first Juma'ah after the celebration of Eid Kabir. May Almighty Allah spare our life to witness many more of it in good health and more prosperity!

Maa Salam

PUBLIC universities system in the country is heading for a total shutdown as members of the Non-Academic Staff Union of Educational and Associated Institutions, NASU, will tomorrow begin a nationwide strike to protest two months unpaid salaries by government.

NASU members who are expected to shut down all social amenities such as power and water supplies, libraries among others, will join their counterpart in the Senior Staff of Nigerian Universities, SSANU, who had since Monday began an indefinite strike over same issue.

It will be recalled that members of the Academic Staff Union of Universities, ASUU, have been on strike since July 1, paralyzing academic activities in all public universities.

General Secretary of NASU, Prince Peters Adeyemi told Vanguard in Ibadan, Oyo State, that members would definitely begin an indefinite by tomorrow unless government paid today.

According to him, “It is sad and unfortunate, but NASU members in all public universities nationwide will down tools until government pay them their salaries. The only thing that can stop the strike is if government pays tomorrow (today). Our members have been going through pains in since and have been doing their work diligently. But the government has refused to pay their salaries for reasons best known to the government. That is the issue. So, we are starting strike by Thursday. It is unfortunate, but that is the reality.”

Members of SSANU had Monday commenced a nationwide strike to protest the stoppage of their salaries for two months by the Federal Government.

General Secretary of SSANU, Promise Adewusi, SSANU had while announcing the commencement of the strike, asked members not to return to work until a counter directive was given to them.

Adewusi said the union took the decision following its letters to the vice-chancellors in various universities, the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Senator Anyim Pius Anyim, Ministers of Labour and Productivity, Chief Emeka Wogu and Education, Nyesom Wike as well as the Executive Secretary, National Universities Commission, Professor Julius Okojie.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/10/public-university-system-heads-total-shutdown-nasu-strikes-tomorrow/

olawalebabs: deols, tbaba, sisse, wizeboy, busar, showietee. Una do well. Make one of do quick invite me to Offline nikkah.

Hmmmmm... May Almighty Allah make it easy soonest!

deols: What is your proof. I know that a Muslim should not. But it has happened already. It feels like the disliked acts and not haram to me. Please provide your proof.


I know that the conditions for marriage are four and Islam is never mentioned as one of them.

While a Muslim man is permitted to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, a Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish man. There are many sound reasons for this difference. First, the man is the head of the household, the one who maintains the family, and he is responsible for his wife. And while Islam guarantees freedom of belief and practice to the Christian or Jewish wife of a Muslim, safeguarding her rights according to her own faith, other religions, such as Judaism and Christianity, do not guarantee the wife of a different faith freedom of belief and practice, nor do they safeguard her rights. Since this is the case, how can Islam take chances on the future of its daughters by giving them into the hands of people who neither honor their religion nor are concerned to protect their rights?

Qur'an even talk about it in the following verse in which Allah says:

“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221]

Imam al-Tabari said:

What is said concerning the interpretation of the words “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you” is that what Allah meant by that is that Allah has forbidden the believing women to give birth to a mushrik, no matter what kind of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing slave who believes in Allah and His Messenger and that which he brought from Allah is better for you than to give them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent and background…

It was narrated that Qutaadah and al-Zuhri said, concerning the phrase “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon”, It is not permissible for you to give them in marriage to a Jew or a Christian or a mushrik who is not a follower of your religion. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 2/379).

deols: It would be interesting to hear of nikkah(s) from among us.

Is everyone here sooo young? Abi what is the matter sef??

It will really be nice truly... Waiting to attend such Nikkah soonest.

Brothers and Sisters where art thou!

SOLUTION TO DIVORCE.... According to my own perspective is as follows:

Before man and woman have a relationship with each other, they have to have a relationship with the Creator (Allah), otherwise, there is no self-policing in the marriage. People should not enter marriage with the intention that it's disposable. You have to enter it with the mindset that you're going to work hard. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Human beings go through ups and downs. When we're down, we help each other up. We don't run when we're down or take pride when we're up.

In Islam, the wife has certain financial rights, such as dowry and alimony; she has the right of respect and so on.
Just like the husband is obligated to treat his wife with respect and kindness, the wife is obligated to obey her husband. The husband should also be respectful to the wife and kind, not threatening or abusing her.

I believe the above 2 points if taken into consideration can solve almost 70% of the divorce rate that is been experienced in the world now.

onegig: Most of these issues have been over flogged in the past. If we continue, people would always come with their own versions of wants and needs. Why don't we just leave each person to his own decision and discuss things that are more general and everyone can benefit from.

Ok. Here's one. As any one noticed the alarming rate of divorce and marital problems in our societies. What do you think is the way forward and what are the issues that normally lead to misunderstanding in most homes.

You said it all... Human wants and needs will always be different from each other; all in all, nobody is right or wrong in our expectation of what we want or desire. Everything is always based on each person perspective to life.

If everyone of us are asked to define LIFE itself, we will all define LIFE according to how we view and have experience it; and at the end of the day, we will all be right in our definition. So, there is no basis for argument over what each and everyone of us want. Almighty Allah will grant us the best.


TO YOUR QUESTION... What cause the high rate of divorce and marital problem in our Societies. I will answer this question based on my own perspective.

High rate of divorce is been experienced nowadays due to the uncompromisable attitude of both man and woman; we youth of nowadays are always looking forward to marrying the perfect partner without realizing that there is no perfect partner any where unless pretender who might be proving to be what they are not until they hook their desire man/woman before showing their real colour.

Our parents compromise, that is why most of them are still together up till today; they never expect to hook up with perfect person because it is certain that you can NEVER know more than 50% of a person's character or way of life until you move closer or started living with them. That is also the case with two friends, some friend might be very close but once they started living together they will start seeing what they have not seen about each other before.

Another reason could also be from women perspective, as most girls of nowadays believe that their husband can never be the head of the house (as in controlling them). They also want to be the head, they really want to share house chore with their husband (though husband assisting wife in house chore is not bad but it must come from the man voluntarily and not that the woman will insist that they must be done together). Most of the so-called religious girls (Muslim Sister) don't really even follow what is prescribed in the Quran and Hadith in which they claim they follow when it comes to the ROLES AND DUTIES of Husband and Wife.

2fishes: Lolz, funny U. Chat with other suppliers, man. There are better deals out there. That's the point I always try to emphasize on my sales thread. Don't be in a hurry to pay if U must import it, or better still , come buy wholesale from my remaining stock.

9free is actually right in his explanation of powerbank. Bros, other supplier can claim otherwise but is when you order it you will know how far.

I have deal with high capacity of powerbank in the past and I have seen that is not what they promise. I now deal with lower capacity of powerbank and people that have patronized me are recommending their friends and relations because they are more reliable and the price too are affordable compare to the high capacity that will not really give you value for your money.

I am always in doubt anytime I see powerbank of 20,000mah in a small box like the same box that they use for the lower capacity. I don't really see how any manufacturer or seller can convince me that such 20,000mah is the real capacity because it can never be. You can never be dupe if you really know that the bigger the battery; the higher the capacity will be (use inverter as an example and you will understand what I am saying better).

N/B: I am appealing to everyone that want to venture into powerbank to make their research well before going into it, so that people will not be discourage when substandard powerbank flooded Nigeria. I have started hearing a lot of experience from most of my customer, about the one they have bought previously from some store or people that did not really serve them. One customer had to ask me to give him 3 months warranty yesterday because he has bought one before that did not last up to 2 months.

BTW: Please, be informed that I can't read Nairaland PM because it is not always deliver into my inbox, the email I am using for this Account does not support Nairaland PM (Hotmail). I am saying this because I normally receive a lot of PM and I know 80% of them will be from Business Section, abeg it is not as if I dont want to reply ooo, is just that I don't normally receive it (is only on my Nairaland Account that always indicate that I have PM). Thanks for your understanding.

deols: Thank you Sissie for asking the questions.

Sometimes it feels like some of us who talk with the whole of our mouth and especially wanting the good things are not the good enough Muslims. Fact is, we all want the same things.



Now, let my goodu luking muscled man be an 'alfa' too.

The super duper good looking, fun loving, sweet tajweed voiced, hard working, rich alfa.


Yayy!!!! Ifallinlove

Nice one! God will grant you and everyone of us our heart desire and wishes.

Sissie: It's not about priority oh, it's about how you take note of it in the other person oh. Religion is the priority, that we all can agree, level of religiousness is another thing LOL.

Now I understand what you mean.

Assuming you are to choose between the following 2 Muslim guys:

The First guy is very religious, will always uplift your deed and can always help you in any religious matter BUT is not that handsome according to your standard; and
The Second guy is just a Muslim, not really a practicing one, but everybody just know he is a Muslim (you understand the type of Muslim I am saying now) BUT he is handsome/cute according to your desire.

Which one of the two guys will you go for?

Sissie: My conclusion shows I think religion is the most important, on my priority list it's 1st, but it doesn't mean it's the first thing I will search for.

Lets now know your priority according to the list you gave the other time. What is the most important thing to you when seeking for a husband.

deols: Thank you.

This is not a matter of who is holier than the other.

Some people are good with the deen, thry can support Islam till.eternity but are not good husbands. Not good fathers. Not good in-laws.

In my family, we get involved in so many Islamic activities and I know many people who are good only as Muslims but are the worst of spouses and parents.


an average Muslim who gives me a comfortable abode and shows me love which allows me practice my religion well and provide a loving environment for my children to grow

Is wayyy better than the ustadh whose face I cannot look at, whose eyes are frightening and who is giving me hell. I cannot even be a good wife to such, making my religion deficient. It is even worse if he is boring to be with.

I agree with you 100000%. That is just the case.

Sissie: Let me explain better, for those who say religion is first,
What if a man is religious, the consciousness is awesome, but they're so many things you don't like about him, be it physical, personality or otherwise.

1. During the time of the prophet a woman went to meet
The prophet and said she wants to divorce her husband, she said he was the best of the Muslim men, he was a good man, but he was so ugly, that she's scared she might commit kufr and asked for a divorce, and he called the man told him and the man said he would divorce her if she returns the mahr, she said she was willing.
Now in modern term, we all say we prefer a conscious Muslim, some people will even think your shallow for looking at his looks or pockets.
So if you see a woman/man findout their Islam is awesome, but you hate some other things will you go ahead?

Personally I prefer it to be the last thing I check, I don't want to turn a awesome Muslim down because of some other things.

Your conclusion also show that you agree with everybody that said Religion is First.

As for me, religion will always be the first, before any other thing will now follow. I don't really believe there is anybody in life that is not beauty/handsome it depends on the person involve. The last time I checked the meaning of Beauty, it simply mean "A combination of qualities giving pleasure to the sight and mind". So, who may be beautiful/handsome in your eye might not to the other person. It is all about perspective!