₦airaland Forum

irepnaija4eva:
Until Men come to full realization that they are the prize, childish attitude and disrespect will always surfice in that marriage..

Imagine spending millions in your wedding just to bring in trouble and disrespect in your home?
To me, i think the OP is too soft for manipulation.
Kai..

She's.manipulating him so he doesn't recognize his worth and wants in the marriage.


The day he sees a mentor that teaches him is the day her game ends


He's been massively shit tested


No woman can try half of this with me and not starve within a week

Raalsalghul:
Your post might be insensitive but I understand where you're coming from.

Most Nigerian men in their desperation for love, sex and marriage don't even care if a woman loves them.

They just keep throwing money, gifts and promises to buy her affection while ignoring her body language coupled with the failure to do proper vetting then come back later in the marriage to cry wolf.

I'm pretty sure that the Op saw the signs before marriage. Rejection no be something wey woman dey hide and even if she's fronting to secure commitment, a sharp discerning red-pilled mind can tell the level of her attraction towards you.

Smart man



Most Nigerian men in their desperation for love, sex and marriage don't even care if a woman loves them.

They just keep throwing money, gifts and promises to buy her affection while ignoring her body language coupled with the failure to do proper vetting then come back later in the marriage to cry wolf.

kingslj:
What nigerian men dont understand about thier women is
1.
2, They equate love with the money you can support them with...Give them thay money comfort...They will still Bleep the gateman.
3.As a man you cant understand women especialy the species we produce here in nigeria,
Societal pressure and mentality of anything goes in nigeria have made some non thinking robots that will act out what is seen in the movies or what their friends/mother tell them
4, Some of the people here you are asking for advice do not care. The situation in the country has made them neurotic.

This is the stack reality here -


1. The situation in the country has made them neurotic.


2. Majority of the woman are not capable of love.


Please have beer in me.tonight. You've done justice to the subject

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

She believes.in.wihilding affection. These kinds are damaged. Did you court her at all It doesn't happen overnight


She's toying with your emotions, shit testing you in various ways and manipulating you. You're so manipulated right now that you don't even know your needs, rights and wants


First of all, see a therapist solo to clear the fog in your head

Some offers are death traps !

kelspinall:
expressing yaself by trying to know deeper details....boss free me

Caution yourself. Try to Google what a forum is. And stop acting amateurish

kelspinall:
i love this reply, people sabi ask nonsense

Caution yourself. It's a public forum and everyone is free to express themselves.

Interesting

hotwax:
Financial services

Banking industry precisely UBA/Heirs Holdings Abi ?

What industry?

staga:
There is a technique I have been using. I do not use any herbicides.

I use a tractor to plough. After ploughing, I plant. Once the maize is 3-weeks post sprouting, I mix urea and mycorrhiza into my seed planter, and roll the planter beside the plants.

Mycorrhiza makes the maize develop a much more efficient root system for max utilization. It is a naturally occurring fungus, but is destroyed by herbicides.

The difference between my crop and those of other farmers is always amazing.

How then do you manage weeds without the application of Herbicides?


At what stage do you apply herbicides?

Relixy2k:
How about Eleko the road you pass directly to the refinery with heavy population?

They're lowlifes and their existence doesn't count

Eleko
Lakowe
Awoyaya
Ibeju



All low lifers whose lives doesn't matter

SalamRushdie:
I hardly make wrong projections , by this time next year Nigeria will still be importing petrol because Dangote refinery can't meet up and the difference is that it's Dangote that will be the major importer then ...I will cime back to remind U

Yes. But you have to have a more comprehensive view this time boss o


Have you not noticed all that's happening in this sector on am holistic stage boss ?


An ibeju boss is building a like 300,000 bod refinery


Dangote

Modular refineries scattered all over


Abdul Rahman 200,000 BPD


Alot will happen in the petroleum sector over the next five years


I think we're entering the bottom end of the wave of the crude oil boom on a global scale of you ask me Sir



I hope you've seen concessions FG and Dangote signed..that all oil.imports must be done solely by refineries with over 100,000bpd so when the refinery is not working he switches to importation with no one knowing


The creation of this new monopolistic monster is another factor I'm watching the refinery for.



For me. It's better we explore Hydrogen, Feul cells, Solar, Wind, nano nuclear devices, fission, thermal.energy as more futuristic energy supplies sources

Before I am attacked for my unbias comments. There's crude oil in my father's land. My land by right I rejected. Refinery in my mother's land. Was offered jobs in Mobil , Saipem and co as far back as 20 years back. I've resided around at least three refineries, from Rivers to Bayelsa to Delta to Akwa Ibom. I'm everywhere



So, my comments are borne out of over 15-21 years view of being around communities close to refineries, oil fields and the sorts

My personal opinion is that I'll watch the project over the next 4-5 years before I draw any opinion or biases of my own

BabaAduras:
Modern refineries are not major pollutants. I work and live in Corpus Christ, Tx, USA. There are about 5 major oil related industries in the city.

In the cooler climate, the heat is not felt. How do we tap put the entire heat the production emits ? Our other refineries are hellish o. You visit your homies at home and you have to run cause the heat is ferried across kilo meters reaching you. From Delta to Baylesa to Rivers it's the same.

However if modern engineering solutions are employed, it's good. But let's keep on r fingers crossed across a 3-5 years duration to study it's effects

Originalsly:
Refineries are not usually located close to large residential areas because of the pollutants and their effect on health. In developed countries the EPA is very proactive .. emissions are closely monitored and laws are consistently enforced. What is our track record on pollution? It seems like we as a nation are ignorant of the effects of this kind pollution. When the effects start taking a toll on our health we will either blame village people or the devil. We neither have the capacity to monitor pollutants nor the capacity to manage the consequences.

Thank you. Sound mind

Ellasure:
prophets of dooms.

do you have specific experiences or through reading plagiarized documents on the internet?

He isn't wrong. I've stayed close to at least three to four refineries as they're refineries across my paternal and maternal homes. My dear, they make life hell. The heat is hellish....


It is better to have it broken to pieces and splitter across multiple locations

CyracksMrBlogger:
the Nigerian mentality. Always want to be negative. Dangote will employ expertriate from China, India and other countries that are positive minded and hard-working instead of Nigerians that always want to sabotage any good effort. A loss to Nigerians, na una cause am. Isssssh!

I explained the position of another person to another without adding much personal input.


Typical Nigerian attitude to fight contrary opinion


Get lost

sanya4good:
The refinery will produce near zero environmental damage, all constituents of crude oil are to be refined out including sulphur and nitrogen oxide which are to be used in the urea fertiliser plant nearby.

And the heat ?

Kobicove:
I don't agree with you that the redinery will fail.

When siting such a massive project you have only 2 choices - Build it close to the source of raw materials or build it close to the major market.

They chose to build it close to the market possibly because of the restiveness in the Niger Delta region which is the location of the raw materials.

Apart from the problem of air pollution which will affect only the immediate area in Ibeju-Lekki I do not see any other major issue

Salarushdie is hard wrong on issues and one of the best brains the continent has.


In simple terms, SalamRushDie is saying there are so many variables that may cause it to fail at some point because of the vastness of the project and because of the strict supervision that is needed to monitor the entire circuit board. If at any point supervision fails on any level, it would be damaged



That's what he says. Unless one is God, the magnitude makes it destined for failure ultimately. Yes it will.blossom.on it's opening years because of the initial thrill. But the vastness will overwhelmed supervisory oversight of all proponents.of the project..Hence SalamRushDie is speaking like a.sage with 5-25 years vision to see ilirs ultimate end. Hence, it's destined to self destruct and fail.


The only option is if massive supervisory budget is created to create a supervision army around it along it's entire length and breadth


I stand to be corrected.

Abagworo:
The best place is Rivers, Bayelsa, Delta , Akwaibom, Edo, Imo or Abia State. The refinery would have been closest to source of crude and still have enough space but Nigeria is a cruise country.

Hence Abdul Rahman chose Akwa Ibom. Excellent decision

Nice2023:
Yes,u can delineate an area for industrial area specifically for that without human habitation around it.
Go to Niger,the uranium location is far from human habitation and when I say far,people who work there comes from say Ogun state and the site is in Lagos.

Most refineries in Texas are very far from human habitation,especially because of the incidence of pollution and environmental degradation.

Brilliant mind

Na wa

SalamRushdie:
Not the best place at all, that refinery is designed to fail , it's not close to any oil field , it's too close to a massive urban centre

Elder. Long time no see

Updated info. Lagos now has oil o. And its thanks to Badagry

thisisit:
LAGOS is the best place to locate refinery for the following reasons:

Niger Delta Environment is already polluted and degraded by crude exploitation activities.

LAGOSIANS are used to noise pollution, congestion, poor public and personal hygiene. Lagosians are used to shanty / ghetto lifestyle. They are used to harassment by TOUTS and thugs. They are used to a life devoid of human dignity and decency.

Therefore, mere carbon pollution from petrochemical will not be noticed.

Werey

thinkmoney:
Wrong advice I think. If he actually lost the money and the supervisor perceive the guy is suspecting him then the guy will lose the job soon.
He will seek to frustrate him out. Let the guys report the incident. He shouldn’t point to the supervisor directly. But he should fight now that he can

Hahaha. You don't know how delicate life is.

I won't talk further

Fredfrankhussle:
Calm down young man

You will see

Fredfrankhussle:
Sorry for delaying the funds
I had to make sure you weren’t going to request for charge back.
I’m deeply sorry
It’s business
You’ll win some you’ll lose some
Learn to let go.

I won't say anything. You will see what will happen.

perfri:
That is a big lie, an outsourcing company can never touch its employee salary. Their services are paid for seprately by the client which in this case its UBA. Please try to do research before misleading others

Hahahaha. You're a stranger in Nigeria..Oga go and do your research