₦airaland Forum

shitshappen:
...Heart of King David and romance of King Solomon...

I love that.

...some men really are. But we ladies don't give them a chance because they don't wear power suits and drive latest vehicles. Sometime I am tempted to assume that materialism, very unrealistic expectations and lack of focus are what keep most sisters above 30 unmarried. The mindset of looking for a man who will take care of them.....rather than the mindset of looking for a man to form a good team & build wealth jointly is a big setback for many.

Evina:
Exactly!

I had to make a conscious decision to take the leap this year. I realized I was putting career before the really amazing man God gave me. And I didn't even know it! Even when family and friends always pointed that out to me.

It is really tough for ladies who are career driven to put a career they are passionate about on hold.

But in the end the decision by some women to build their career before marriage, pays off. It gives them class even in the search for a husband. The dilemma is when a woman was not building her career, was not acquiring advanced education, yet turn above 30, without a husband, without even a good job, or a strong investment. What was she doing? If i were men too, I'd be cautious of such a lady. Sisters need to be focused too.

Dyt:
Thanku
Very useful

And ofcus Amen to ur last

You are welcome! Amen for u too..

eleko1:
after all their initial shakara abi?Nah now when dey don turned to Okrika(no bi shepos village oo) man go come marry them.Such ladies can't be wife material

Only you know what you are saying. Do you know how may years it takes to get a PhD or build a stable career to a middle management level? There are women who need a little more from life than marrying early and having babies. Such women are not meant for every man. It's not about quantity rather quality.

maclatunji:
I would add look in the right places for the kind of man you want. You want a family-oriented man? Don't go looking for him in nightclubs. Try professional events, seminars, lectures, library, active men in religious institutions whose character you can objectively evaluate.

A good number of women above 30 that are successful in their business or

You might wonder about finding a friend in the first place. I have learnt that beautiful friendships can be initiated within an hour, you just have to know what to look for that matches your kind of person. It gets better with time.

Sometimes, there isn't only one correct answer to a problem or approach to an issue. complain about the poor character of men they meet. They need to be more skilled with their search.

You might have to search for a good man too, it is not only men that have to.

We also need to be careful how we criticize night clubs. There re night clubs with class, where even married couple go to unwind sometimes. What may be wrong is a serial club girl/boy, or people who go to clubs to patronize prostitutes. There are also people who come to the church to chase men or women. Does that make churches evil? Let's not be too judgmental.

Brandnew2:
Did you write those yourself or you have a source?

Yes I did. I write all posts from my experience.

Brandnew2:
These are amazing tips ..God bless you.

Thanks and God bless you too

7 Tips For Beautiful Ladies Above 30, Good Career, Strong Finance, Yet Single (Long)

Today many women live with the sad reality that they may leave this world without either being married or having offspring that look like them. The African girl is raised and hard-wired to believe that one day she would walk on the streets holding the tiny fists of her own body and blood. When years go by and this dream is not fulfilled you can imagine the apprehension.

If you are above 30, have a stable career, independent, with strong finances here are some tips to still get married to a real love:

1. Prepare to marry a man you earn more than: Obviously African men like to marry up (someone they are richer than) In the western world it’s not uncommon for women with strong investments, career, education, and finance to marry men they are richer than. However, to survive in such relationships means you must be willing to collapse both of your goals into one and invest jointly as one family. Therefore, it no longer matters who earns more, or who earns less, because it’s one purse, one family. If you get stuck in that ‘My money’, ‘My job’ mentality, you are going to have difficulties living with an African brother you earn more than. You can be an Amazon outside, please be a wife at home and don’t bruise his ego.

2. Prepare to marry a man you are older than:. Same as above. Love knows know age limits. The good thing is that African men, more often, prefer women they believe can assist them build wealth (hard-working women). As a woman who’s already established, this actually works for you. It all depends on your mindset. If there’s love & compatibility btw two of you, set age aside. Develop ‘every-man-has-a-dick-I-can-use’ mentality. Age is but a number!

3. Divorced men and widowers can make great husbands: There are many reasons people divorce (bad things happen to good people). That a man is divorced does not mean he was such a terrible person. Have the mindset that you can make something good out of a man by being his best friend and partner in progress. If you still wish to marry up, most men who are richer than you are already in their 40’s and above. The single ones are either divorced or widowed. Some of these men come with a lot of experience, maturity, confidence, and financial stability that most of us are looking for. Expand your search!

4. Be ready to be a step-mother and share your home: Don’t be naïve. Be realistic. There are many excellent men out there who already have kids but are single due to divorce or wife’s death. Such men are looking not just for wife but step-mother to their kids. Prove yourself that you can be a good step-mother and boom! you‘ve a husband and ready-made family. Step-out of the ‘single-girl-looking-for-her-own-man’ mentality. Children are gifts from God. Treat and love them like your own, like gifts God entrusted into your care, and not like strangers in your house. You will know same joy mothers get from their biological children.

5.Spot out men with potentials and mentor them to success:. There are many smart people out there who don’t have good jobs or money because they came from poor social backgrounds and nobody mentored them. If you fall in love with such a man who’s educated, smart, and a husband material but wasting away in a low-paying job, give it a shot if he loves you. Then mentor him to success. “An unpolished man is a man nobody has taken time to polish.” ….’buy your polish and polish him’. Every man looks great & professional in a black suit and red power-tie!

6. Stop shopping and start investing: . The misconception is the believe that you’ll attract men if you are a well-dressed ‘big-girl’. ‘Big girls’ are meant for ‘big beds’ of randy married men. Honorable girls are meant for honorable homes. You can be ‘big girl’ all you want by dressing to match, if you purse is empty, you re empty. It’s a dilemma when a woman is above 30, poor, yet materialistic. What advantage does she have over a young 25yr old lady? She is a burden! However, a single woman with strong purse & investments brings more beef to the table & will attract better men with husband qualities.

7. Don’t abort any pregnancy.. This is No. 1 regret most older women have when they can no longer find a husband. They regret the pregnancies they aborted. As a young single person, you are likely to be worried about the stigma, how the society will judge you, how people will treat your child, etc. But once you are approaching 40, this may be your only shot at motherhood. You have a good job, good investment, strong finance & accidentally take in, please why abort a baby to please society? Let the society find you a husband then! Mtecheeew! Keep your baby if the baby’s father doesn’t want and give him/her care, love, quality education and prepare him/her to inherit your investments.

I was above 30 & worried too, I fell in love and married a man I earned twice more than; he was struggling but had the heart of King David and the romance of King Solomon. Fiends tried to discourage me. Today he gave me a bundle of gift – my carbon copy! He got a better job but still earns less. It has been a great catholic family full of love & respect for each other. We are pooling funds together to make the best of our lives. I’m happy again, a fulfilled wife and mother. My God will do it for you too this year if you are willing to accept His will, not yours!

May the good Lord hear your humble cries and bring you comfort this year. May you find your man this year!

lilmax:
This is nice

Thanks bro

Joel3:
Hahah first of all i really don't believe in bandwagons. And when people shows more like or interest on something the more I will hate that thing. you can called it jealous. I don't care.


I don't always agree with the majority and popular trends. And I really don't care what people think about me.? the more people hate me the more I am comfortable with it.

whoever insult me I will insult back, I never fail on that. when people tried to put what you says or your opinion down means they want to feel good about themselves.

Not forgetting that We have so many fake people here who only want people to liked them by their comment. They follow the trends so people sees them as good and sometimes they don't really have their own idea on anything to say but they will you just follow what people say and start commenting trash.

but the truth they are more worst in real life. I am not here for people to like me and I only speak my mind from the reality.

So asking me if I change should not be it. I Not a chameleon. I am the real me on nairaland.

But one truth is I am really a nice and quite guy in real world.

Awwwwwww! I love your spirit, young man....you are such a charmer! But it's good to have more friends than enemies to surround yourself with positive energy than negative energy, to exude love than hate. So I suggest you do more things that will endear you to people than things that will make people hate you..

Joel3:
good one dear

^^^^Thanks. Hope u change your mindset too about Nigerian ladies. we are not all wasted!

iykedare:
Educate some of these brainless bimbos here.
Keep it up.

I really didn't mean to bash or judge anyone though. I am simply on a mission to prove people wrong that all Nigerian ladies are bad, materialistic, unappreciative and will fall for money. There are millions of Nigerian ladies out there who are very decent, hardworking, and can't fall for money. However the attention-craving, low-value commodities with price tags make everyone look bad. They may be in the minority and often girls from very poor backgrounds who want to erase poverty from their lineage at all cost, but in a wrong way. Surprisingly not a whole lot of girls raised in wealthy, and decent middle class families have this fake 'Big girl' mentality, yet they have it all.

BeeBeeOoh:
The gods are to be invited here. Humans should stay off, I repeat again. HUMANS SHOULD STAY OFF..

why the gods? The lady didn't sound like a priestess neither am I a priestess.

I just feel it's one of those needy ladies from villa hustling to catch up with her colleagues who believe that wearing a blue dress made in Vietnam with a matching blue shoe with blue bag is the definition of class and 'big girl' . Aabeg! a big girl weighs about 160lbs, and classy girl is always on top of her class (na brain o, no be body dey give person class).....

I have gradually and unintentionally turned into a relationship adviser since I posted my two recent posts:

1. 6 Reasons That Keep Nigerian Ladies Above 30yrs From Marrying. Please Avoid Them! [url] (https://www.nairaland.com/2130732/6-reasons-keep-nigerian-ladies)[/url]

2. 7 Tips To Help Nigerian Men Understand, Date And Enjoy A Lady Above 30!! (https://www.nairaland.com/2138577/7-tips-nigerian-men-understand).

None of the rejoinders have been as irritating as the one I had few days ago offline with a sista based at Lagos. I guess she's not yet married and still feels on-top of the world. The summary was that she defined a man who loves her as a 'man who supports her with money and gift' and described women who date men who don't give them money as 'Cheap'. because in her little mind a man values his woman through cash and gifts. What a wasted brain! She practically called me 'Cheap', when I mounted my defense. I laughed within me because both financially, socially, educationally, career-wise, even by physical endowment she is not a match. Fore Haven's sake I paid for my car from my savings; no man bought it for me and I am proud of that, while she's still looking for job.

There are some young sisters you speak to sometime the way they talk, even as a lady I won't marry them if I was man or allow someone I love to marry them.

MY Defense: I am not cheap because I date for love, you are cheap because you have a negotiable price.

1. No Man Will Like To Marry A Prostitute: Some men may like patronizing prostitutes but I am yet to meet a single man who will knowingly choose a prostitute as a wife, no matter how long he slept with her or how good she's in bed. Even you, will you allow your brother to marry a prostitute? So why make yourself look like one? What's the difference between a prostitute who sleeps with men for money, and a graduate who dates only men who will give her money and gifts? - A prostitute asks for money before 'it', the graduate expects money after 'it'. Both are in the same profession...Period!

2. A Cheap Lady Defined: A cheap lady is not a lady who accepts cheap gifts, rather it's a lady whose 'value' is quite low. A cheap lady is a lady any man who can afford her price can have her; with money and gifts you can get her. She's a commodity, and lacks dignity. It doesn't matter how big, how pretty, how highly placed, lavishly dressed, or how educated she is, if she has a price (even if it's $1mil) she's a commodity. A man who can afford $1mil can buy her for her dog. Unfortunately, this is what most Naija ladies describe as a 'big girl'. but that's actually the definition of a 'cheap girl' . The tough girl selling pure water on the street, resisting and rejecting men who want to buy her with money, may look shabby, yet has dignity.

3. Money And Gifts Dont Mean A Man values You Please can we all get beyond this obscene belief that a man who loves u is the man who gives u money and buys you gift? That's so Needy! I don't hear this from my colleagues from poorer, African countries. I hear it more from my naija sistas. Are you telling me a married man who keeps u as a mistress and pays you for the service you perform on him and goes home to cuddle his wife, loves you bc he buys you gift? So does it mean a woman can no longer be in love with a hard-working man with a modest income? SMH!

4. Why Depend On A Man?: Why would I depend on a man or look for a man who will take care of my needs like a baby when I went to the same school, spent the same number of years got the same degree, and did NYSC as him? Why shouldn't I compete with my male colleagues and make my own money? If I have my own money then I don't have to necessarily wait to marry a man who's rich. I can marry just any man I am compatible with. With his income and mine we can live a life of our dream. I married a man I earn more than. He respects me knowing that I didn't marry him because of his money. If the tables turn tomorrow and he begins to earn more than I do & tries to lord it over me I have basis to remind him how we started. Please sista get beyond this overtly cheap needy spirit. You are going to end up as a 'paid slave'.

Sista, I am whom I am with all glory to God and thanks to my immaculate mother Mary as my role model. I can guess you are hanging out with wrong people, and may regret the choices you made today because you are young and naive. Nigeria is not the poorest country in the world.

May God in His infinite blessings redirect the paths of all derailing sisters in Nigeria. Direct my own paths too oh Lord and don't let me be wasted! Nigeria will rise again!

striktlymi:
Nice post but I don't think I can stand the hassle.

Anything good is worth fighting for dear. Don't give up.

Stillfire:
I weep for Africa.

Please don't weep for Africa. Think and make Africa work. . Every continent has it's challenges. What we have in Africa is the challenge of identity crises, where people are confused between western and African culture which one to embrace. Many try to eat their cake and have it by trying to combine both cultures and end up in a well of confusion. Otherwise why should a brother travel all the way from Europe to Nigeria to marry a lady he believes will be more African than those in Europe, then turn around to force her to behave and act European (forcing her to work 2 jobs to help pay bills,when African men, by tradition, provide for their wives and children)? Isn't that confusion right there?

Harmonyemerald:
well said. MOST IMPORTANTLY IS THE LAST POINT, a 30 year old lady is not a 22, 23 year old. At 30, her aim of entering relationship is for marriage, so after 5-6 months and you discover that she is not the one please stay away from her. DO NOT waste her time or play around or call her desperate cos u are aware of her age and priority before you asked her for a relationship. You can't eat your cake and have it, you either show and prove, if not go away.

This was my major problem too. People around called me picky but I was not. I just moved on when I found out that man was only wasting my time and trying to cash in on my age. When you meet a serious man it doesn't take forever. Things happen very fast. Two matured minds know what they want. once they meet each other they click. Even when the man doesn't have everything going, you can pool resources together to get things going. He must pay the bride price (with no assistance. It's tradition). But since you are working you can assist with wedding plans and settling down (aka housing, rent, furniture, etc)

I recently posted my personal opinions on '6 reasons that keep Nigerian ladies above 30 from getting married.'

[url] https://www.nairaland.com/2130732/6-reasons-keep-nigerian-ladies [/url].

I was inundated by personal messages from people who found the post very insightful and helpful - Thanks to all of you. However, there are some people who wanted to know from the side of a lady above 30 how Nigerian brothers can better understand their ladies above 30 in relationships.

These are my personal opinions (but I was there too):

1. Don't Take Advantage Of Them: Ladies mature faster and ready to be wives and mothers at 19yrs, on the other hand economic hardship in Nigeria has moved the eligibility of most bachelors to above 30, as they struggle with unemployment and financial stability. Religious houses (specially churches) cash in on this to draw members teasing ladies that husbands are scarce. In fact, some make it look like being a single lady is a problem, a curse, and an epidemic. Unfortunately, most ladies buy this argument & become desperate, competing for the few 'scarce husbands' rather than pursue other goals. The truth is that it's better to marry at 38yrs to a responsible man and have a peaceful, mature family than rushing in at 23 with an immature boy, living in hell and abuse afterwards. Not all ladies above 30 are desperate to marry just any man. They simply want to settle down with a responsible man. Respect that & prove yourself!

2. Respect Her Time & Schedule Too: You can no longer date a responsible woman above 30 like your under-20 college sweetheart expecting her to come over to your house every weekend to cook, clean your house, and wash your clothes. At above 30+ most ladies are already working, busy and stressed out too. Some are at management positions, doing well financially too. You have to treat them with respect as partners not as your 'little girl'. You cannot shout on them or boss them around because you are a man or demand they be by your side 16hrs a day. You can't be disrespecting them in the public, pinching and slapping their behind on the streets. They are no longer teenagers!

3. It's Not About S=ex: At above 30, bones are becoming stiff. The body is no longer as flexible as that of the teenagers and under 20s, energy is wearing out too. You cannot expect to make love to her 5 times a day turning her in 7 different positions just to fulfill your fantasy at the expense of her health as you did your little girlfriend in school. Give her a break! Appreciate and understand that she may say 'No' sometimes and resist being used to experiment your new styles. It doesn't mean she's stubborn. She's mindful of her health and well-being.

4. They know What They Want: At above 30, most ladies might have been in previous relationships.They might have tasted other men and have basis for comparison. Therefore, they know when you are good or or bad in what you do. Don't take it as a criticism when they make inputs to help make the relationship better even when they try to compare you to their Exs. I know it's annoying but please understand, and pay attention to her suggestions not the man she used in comparison. We like men who listen to us. , Arrogant man is a turnoff!

5. She May Not Be A Feminist: People who say a lot have a lot to say. Sometimes it's from wealth of life experiences, though we may misinterpret them as nagging or being talkative. We learn a lot from women who teach and talk too. Except for people who argue blindly on issues they know nothing about, a lady above 30 is often educated, has life experiences, and knowledge she would like to share too. She's not argumentative, or being opinionated when she airs her views in a discussion. You may disagree with her passions but please don't shut her up, try to lord it over her or call her a 'Feminist' (if she's not) simply because she airs her views and feel passionate about them. She sees herself as a partner and you treat her like a housegirl. It hurts when you do that! As a man control the argument and close it off when it begins to drag & derail!

6. Don't Criticize Her With Her Past Mistakes: She definitely has a past, sometime not too rosy. Don't keep bringing it up, or keep using it to bring her down. Yes! Perhaps she failed in some things/relationships, perhaps married before, perhaps has a baby, perhaps had abortion as a teenager or in college, perhaps slept with a boss or pastor, etc AND SO WHAT! Mary Magdalene did yet Jesus kept her as best friend! She shared them with you to have a closure & feel close to you and not for you to bring them up and use them to judge her when you quarrel. Please never ever call a woman 'Ashawo' (prostitute). This is what you men say that hurt women most. She did what she did out of love or desperation. It's a past! Now it's all about you, give her a chance to love you.

7. Don't Waste Her Time: Finally age is not on her side; body clock is ticking, body parts have started sagging, maternal instincts have kicked in. She wants to settle down and may be impatient when you want to date her for another 3 years without taking a decision. If you don't want her for keeps please don't waste her time either. Please 6 months is enough time to decide if you want her as your wife or not.

Remember if you marry a good woman above 30 you got a Jewel! You marry a woman with maturity to handle marital challenges and mostly likely a woman most likely to bring something to the table to help both of you build a life of your dreams together.


May This Year Be A Your Year of Proposal, Marriages, Childbirths and Career Breakthroughs!!!

edozie04:
I mean the above 30

My dear, I was there and thanks to God, got off it because I listened. There's nothing wrong in a lady being above 30 and still single if she has things to show for her age such as solid career, fat bank account, strong investments, impressive academic accomplishment, etc meaning she was working on other goals in her life, which delayed her goal of settling down. But now she wants to settle down, this post is for her. One should not fail in every front of one's life.

edozie04:
op are you one of them?

Who are 'them'? Read my sub-heading again and decipher something from there

6 Reasons That Keep Nigerian Ladies Above 30yrs From Marrying. Please Avoid Them!


This is a Sista -to-Sista Talk. If you like take the advice or leave it, it won't change a thing. I listened, I found

1. Acting Immaturely: When you are above 30, you are not in the the same category with ladies below 27 anymore. Except you have things to show for your age such as solid career, fat bank account, strong investments, impressive academic accomplishment, etc the odds are stacked against you in competing with a younger lady. Men who will look for you are mostly men seeking for the above qualities and perhaps also some maturity. Therefore if you have none of the above and still behave like a teenager, you are going to stay in your papa's house for a longer time. Please be different and bring some maturity into your relationships to gain some advantage. Reduce your playing 'hard-to-get' games. If you see what you want, got for it, and nail it koi-koi! Shekina!

2. The Feminist Scare: African men are trying in their intellectual accomplishments, but honestly majority of them still don't accept feminism. At 30 +, a lady is most likely to have formed her core believes and ideologies. Unfortunately, most African men still can't draw any difference between an argumentative lady, a highly-opinionated lady and a feminist. They lump them all up together as feminists and hate them equally. Therefore, sista you will do yourself a favor to be less argumentative, be flexible in your opinions and reduce unnecessary negative energy that scare men away. African men are still scared of feminists. One day they will get there, but for now sheath your sword!

3. Talking About Your Ex: Everyone knows that at 30+ plus you probably have had a couple of failed relationships. Please can you stop bringing them up in your current relationships? Stop talking about how one Ex loved you, cherished you, spoiled you with gifts, how the relationship was a bliss, etc. The bottom line is the Ex didn't marry you; he didn't find you good enough. He left you and married another lady. So stop praising him. It's foolish to hear some ladies say "he tells me he regretted not marrying me; wishes he can get a 2nd chance" .. . Pleeaaasssee! that's an old trick for men who dumped you to get into your pants again as a side chick. Get real! he's someone's husband now.

4. Unnecessary Shakara: This one is a relationship blunder No.1 for ladies above 30. DON'T give a man any reason to believe he's only one of your options. What are you thinking? , What's the shakara for? You want to be married and you met a matured man who wants to marry without delay.You have tested him and he is good to go, then you begin shakara, like there's a long queue out there for you? Once you do that, then you give him reasons to check out other girls too. Relationships go south from there. Abeg, once he is inside your territory, lock the exit pam! .

5. "My Pastor Said..": Please leave your pastors and spiritual advisers out of your relationship. Pray to God for guidance. Nothing is as annoying as seeing a matured grown 30-something year old 'mama' going to ask her pastor to see if a man is her God-approved husband. Is your pastor God? How will he know? Pastors can counsel you and put you through marriages courses, educate you on how to be a better christian wife but not to choose a husband for you. Abeg! wise up.

6. Pay For Your Own Stuff And Be Content : At 30+ you should have your own things. Stop begging for money and gifts like you are still in school. That's for students. Stop fantasizing about celebrity cars, dresses, shoes, jewelries, houses, bling-bling like you are a teenager. It makes you look either too childish or like a cheap materialist. Serious men pay attention to all those clues. At 30+ you should have saved some money to buy things you want for yourself. But if for some reason you haven't, be modest and feel content with what you have.

I Pray May This Year Be Your Breakthrough Year On Marriage!

God bless father and son and all those who believe in family. Every little kid deserves a loving caring parent to be there for him/her. Let's celebrate the news of those who staying married together and not always the news of those parting ways and divorcing.

Men, the time you spend with your kids in the house and fields playing is a better investment and more rewarding than the time you waste with a mistress who doesn't care about you in a hotel. Call ur mistress and tell her you are in the hospital bed-ridden, she will switch off her phone, but your daughter will always race to daddy's side. Same to women who divorce their husbands to get money - shame on you! How much is your child's happiness over clothes, cars and jewelry?

Up you Taiye!!! and stay there for your kid.....that's the way to go as a man with liver.

RoyalRoy:


Sadly enough I have watched over the years how many women will always come and attack her posts left, right and centre. Still she is one of the few people I follow here.

Awwww! Thanks @RoyalRoy.

I come to NL to learn and share but not to entertain and while away idle time. That may make the difference. I have changed many negative things about me based on useful advice I got from NLers. I have made close good friend via NL. I observed that many people only see the forum as an avenue to vent off frustrations and while away time since the forum is faceless....it's like Youtube, there are people who have acquired university-level skills, even developed trades via tons of lectures on Youtube, there are also people who use it just to entertain themselves....different strokes!

Thanks @RoyalRoy. Love u loads for the compliment!!!

coogar:
church girls are hypocrites......
most of them are retired pröstitutes who suddenly decided to marry & then use church as a perfect cover.

But I never meant to placate 'Church girls' as hypocrites..I only wanted to point out that SOME girls use the phrase I am a "Christian Girl/ Lady" to fool men rather than say I am a "good lady". Being a "christian lady' does not equate to being a good person. Therefore, if I were men I will focus on searching for a 'good lady' not those who advertise themselves as 'Christian girls'.

coogar:
i am starting to envy your husband.
now - where was coogar when you were single & searching? i think seun has to put a feature on his forum where the singletons can be spotted from a mile away.

it's refreshing that women like you still exist.

Thanks for the compliment my brother, I was single when I came to NL though but you no shine your eyes well.. another smart NL brother did sharp, sharp, bumper-to-bumper..no breathing space o!

Anyhow there are many good Nigerian ladies home and abroad. You just need to overcome that prejudice that placates all Nigerian ladies as materialistic and be realistic with your search criteria. There are no saints in this planet..one may be good in one aspect yet lacks in another. I've just realized that no person was born bad..life situations and the environment condition people but true friendship brings out the best in people as you work hard to impress each other. May God lead you to that true friend IJN!

coogar:
before i continue this conversation, lemme check again if you are a woman.

brb!!!

I am dear, and happily taken by a naija bro too.....you follow my posts and see I have been very consistent even when I am being attacked from left and right by so-called feminists. My core principles passed onto me by my late mom are very simple - I am an African woman and value my African roots with the attached respect to womanhood as the maker/ builder of the home supporting and helping my mate to raise our kids in a peaceful home through the help of God. I'm not in a marriage or relationship to compete with a man rather to be pampered, loved, and to enjoy myself...

R.I.P mom!

coogar:
you better remove this bit before hell angels(NL feminazis) descend on you. marriage is the biggest investment for a woman? hell no - that's not what their philosophy says.

@coogar ...hei we ladies know ourselves and know what matters most to us in life because we do our girl-talk behind closed doors just a guys 'yab' in the bar. Any Nigerian lady who says marriage doesn't matter to her is obviously in minority. Trust most ladies who talk like that do so out of frustration of how some men treat women in relationships...that statement is just a mere shield to protect our often battered emotions.

coogar:
all these tips because of marriage? na wa o!!!



6 months is too long for some ladies - they want the M word after 2 months & if they don't see any prospect, you can always expect them to keep a side-negro elsewhere. whoever pops the question quicker gets the princess.

your advice is a bad one.

@Cooger see my response above ^^^^^^^^^^

6 months is a general estimation. By the way marriage is the biggest investment for a lady. when it goes bad almost everything in her life goes down with it. No amount spent on learning more is a waste.

bellong:
No matter how complicated you are, you have a basic "structural foundation". It is that basic thing I need to understand, all other things can be worked out.

It is not rocket science

But that sounds like mind-reading, which is very dangerous in a relationship. For some people, maybe 6 months is too long, but generally that's about how much time you need to get a glimpse of who truly people are. How about people who are in long distance relationships and don't see quite often?

alutacontinua:
I still don't get what this thread is about.
Is this about Christian girls or Christian girls in relationships or how long men should date?
As bellong said, for 2 people who know what they want, you don't need 6 months to know, you might need 6 months to court but not 6 months to know

And yes, there are Christian LADIES in relationships.

That Christianity is not a PR agency that advertises character of ladies on bill boards so men can pick and choose. A woman's character should attest to her quality

Driven:
@woged2005, so, you had to rain your vitriol on virgins to give your unsolicited, somewhat incoherent advice to guys?

Please, leave virgins alone! Stop attacking them under one guise or the other. Let those who have chosen to respect God and their bodies be! Go ahead and support those who give their bodies for recharge cards, but let virgins be. Let them live, biko.

If that's all you understood by the post after reading through..then I either blame myself for not writing in pidgin English or not attaching an interpretation. Which part of the post condemned virginity? Abeg I was pointing out those who advertise their virginity for marriage. If you are a virgin, you don't have to advertise it to get something....earn your way through merit.

jmoore:
Are you saying I should not marry a virgin, huh?

No. Not at all bro. I am only saying that's not a yardstick to measure a good or bad girl. Those who are virgins are not better than those who are not. It's a matter of individual choices and preference. If a virgin lies, hates, gossips, fights, and discriminates, etc she's still a terrible sinner.. virginity doesn't save people