₦airaland Forum

It’s been long I posted anything. That is for a reason. But as the year draws to an end I kinda looked back at the reason some sistas gave for calling off relationships and only wonder why some people take so much effort to lie to themselves.

1. Leave Pastors Alone To Face Their Work.
A lady in her late 30’s have been praying, fasting, networking for a soul-mate and when she finally got one, she went to her pastor to confirm if the man was from God. Her pastor told her the man was not her God-given husband, she should wait. She called off the relationship only for her and the married pastor to be caught making out 3 months later….what prophesy does she need to know who has been killing her dreams?...I LMAO!

2. Yankee Dreams Have Ruined Lives
Somebody ditched her home-based man she’s been going out with for over 2 years in a no-se*x relationship because her Aunty hooked her up with another yankee man looking for a wife. The yankee man came home and ‘wacked’ her front and back ceaselessly till he returned back to his base, and told her they were not compatible….when will sistas wise up on these yankee dream?.....Nawa!

3. When You Do Your Job Like 'Runs'
A marketing lady was busted pant’s down in a hotel room with her fiancee’s best friend. Hmmm! Some jobs like marketing, sales, pubic relations, media require high networking for survival, but be careful creating an image of a ‘runs’ girl while being nice to everyone. Almost every man dating a lady in those professions keep their ears and eyes wide open because of the notoriety some ladies have created in those jobs.

4. Are You Still Keeping Your Options Open?
Now this is the fourth time a lady has called off a relationship saying “She’s keeping her options open”. This code phrase for dating multiple men only get’s you confused and make you to easily quit a relationship rather than make it work in the face of a slight problem because you believe you have other options. Most girls who do that find out the hard way that they quit easily, can’t settle down, get confused on who’s best for them, and often get into a messy scandal.

5. "Packaging Can Be Misleading"
Most sistas are ageing into their 40’s because they want to marry a well-packaged, celebrity-like personality. Beyond the stage appearances and polished, packaged looks people have at work, in the church, at events, etc, they have a different life and personality at home. No man wears suits and shoes to sleep. Every man poos and pees, most people look funny when they remove clothes, and most men throws dirty boxers around ….LoL. I also wonder how those nice clothes translate to being a good husband and a good father at home.

6. Chickens Can't Fly Like Eagles, They Belong To Different Levels
It’s ok for a lady to marry-up but it’s outright greedy and needy if you are without a good job, good career, good investments/account, etc yet you insist on marrying a man who has everything going for him. Any man who has everything going for him will also want a lady who has everything going for her. Eagles don’t breed with chickens, dear. If you raise your expectations, make sure you are raising your own stakes too

7. Huh? You Love Him Yet Can't Move Along With People Around Him?
A lady once said she couldn’t stand her fiancee’s friends and relatives bc they appear to be using him. Well, you cannot hate his friends and family and claim to love him. No man wants a woman who will destroy his relationships with other people useful to him. If you want him you have to accept and like people around him. Nobody exists as an Island.

In 2009 a friend of mine from western Africa and I ran into this very nice kind guy at a mall. He came down from his car and helped us load a heavy furniture we bought into our car, held the passenger side door for my friend to enter. She was charmed instantly and both exchanged numbers. 2 weeks later they were dating for real. During the course of the relationship the man who was about 37yrs then (my friend was 30) and an IT professional modestly paid but definitely not rich, observed that my friend’s inability to drive was the reason she was still doing a menial nursing job. As a good friend, he encouraged, motivated my friend to take a driving lesson. He called around to get an affordable driving school for her, where my friend registered. I witnessed the man spent practically entire evenings and weekends over a period of 4 months teaching my friend how to drive till she got her driver’s license. However, some misunderstanding led to my friend quitting the relationship. She complained the man was ‘cheap’ and too official (whatever that meant). Few months later I noticed she’s got another man who within the first month of their dating, bought her a used car from an auction site for $1,700. She fell neck-deep with this man. I sat in a church we both attended then muted when my friend gave a testimony of her life that attracted a rousing ovation how God blessed her with the best people, she got a car, a better job, and announced to the congregation that she was also getting married to the man she described that day as her mentor, best friend, biggest fan of hers, etc. Not even a mention of the man who motivated her and gave hours of his time to get her driving. All the focus was on that car. Even as a lady I felt it was bit unfair. She actually got married to the 2nd guy and they moved out of town.

Fast forward, I ran into this my friend last week in a mall with two little girls (about 3 and 2 years old) she looked quite unhappy. We screamed, hugged and exchanged pleasantries. But out of curiosity I asked how her husband was. She went on for about 20 minutes narrating what a horrible experience it was for her, the man was abusive, a manipulator, a cheat, a liar, a master con-man. Etc. Se they are separated and filling divorce. I sympathized, prayed with her and left. But I have been thinking the entire story over since last week. I am no longer going to rush into conclusions when people come up with stories and account of bad marriages except I know their past and entire story. If I didn’t know how my friend dumped a good man for another man who wielded cash, I would have wailed and cried over what she told me she passed through.

Hmmm! Everyday some of us ladies walk away from jewels into the ‘mouth of a Tiger’ because of cash. We friend-zone good men and describe them as too slow, too soft, too stingy, too cheap, too mild, etc and fall for con men because they bring cash. Most ladies will starve a man with a kind heart and kind words, but open their legs wide for the man who dropped cash. Most con-men know this weakness and use cash to woo ladies. They almost always get what they want easily, while kind men labor in vain. But this is how most of us women ended up marrying ‘rubbish’ and some even have lost their lives.

From now on I need the entire story before sympathizing with a bad marriage.

Sexologist:
be like say dem Don come for u tire o...lol

Boys tried in those days. but person no be pikin again na..

lilmax:
yeah baby,ayam an importer,transporter,transformer,exporter,reciever

You did not add clearing and forwarder, downloader and uploader

lilmax:
No.6

For real. this is the most popular line by brothers somewhere east of the Niger...

Ebiz12:
Desperate girls fall for desperate lies like these!

Hmmm! my sista, not only desperate girls. Even innocent girls do. Maybe you will say 'unsuspecting' girls. I don't think there's any girl at a dating age in Nigeria who has not encountered one or more of these lines before especially the "i want to settle with you". line..which girl no wan settle down? If that line comes on the 3rd date, I bet you 70% ladies will fall for it. the problem is that men in a bid to be smart pop it out on the first date.

The Lies Nigerian Men Tell To Woo Nigerian Girls


1. “I want to settle down with you”= “I desperately want to sleep with you”: Any man who uses this line on a first day he met a girl is a crook. He knows every Nigerian girl wants to settle down. Therefore, using that line is the easiest way to her underwear. How can a serious man want to settle down with lady he just met? You don’ know her story, her family background, her strengths, her weaknesses, her real character, if she has a sickness, etc. You only saw her beautiful boo.bs/butts and you already want to settle down on day-one? – Liar!

2. “Since I saw you, I couldn’t sleep. You look like take away” = “I have been having er.ection since I saw those thighs” : These type of men know that women love to be flattered. If he has not been sleeping, shouldn’t he be yawning?

3. “Come to my house tomorrow to take the money” = “ Olosho, come and chop money. Na me and you tomorrow”: They use this line on cheap needy girls who love money more than life. What happened to bank transfer if you want to give her money? Does she have to come to your house? Girl, if you are going there please take condoms along.

4. “I’ll introduce you to a friend of mine who’s looking for a wife” = “My colleague promised me N10k if I can deliver you to him”. Please a man who wants to marry a lady woo her. He doesn’t send servants to go and fetch her.

5. “I am sick, and didn’t go to work today. I’ve not even eaten because I can’t cook” = “Come and get laid” : Mtcheeeew! Most naija men know that ladies love to take care of a sick person to show love. So some creepy people use this trap to lure a girl and ‘nail’ her.

6. “I have an office in Lagos, Abuja, PH, and Kano” = “ I don’t have a job. I’m hustling” : You will hear this all the time from men who believe Nigerian ladies all want a ready-made man. Who asked you? Why advertise your businesses during a date? Are you looking for a customer or a lover?

7. “I will like to attend your church with you next Sunday” = “You dey form ‘church-girl’ for me, me too I be ‘church boy’ : They use this line to woo ladies who appear religious. The man probably has not been to church in the past 5 years except for weddings, and child dedication.

8. “I will call my friend who’s a PA to the President to see what he can do for you” = “I have connections ooo”! : Haba, why can’t you help her by yourself since you are powerful? Why call another man? SMH for some men.

9. “I want to give you a special treat in my house” = “Come and see my furniture and gadgets”: Most gullible ladies who fell for this either got ‘rap.ed’ or abused. I purposely used the word “Ra.pe” because most girls went to get the special treat but ended p getting laid either under pressure, influence of drugs or alcohol. If you want to give a lady a treat take her to a lavish vacation resort after you start dating.

10. “I bought you a new dress, come and test it to see if it’s your size” = “I want to see those things you’ve been hiding”: The so-called dress is usually tight like hell. They know you will have to remove your clothes to test the new ones. Be careful, he could be peeping through the key-hole, or there could be camera in the bathroom.

11. “Will you escort me to a wedding out-of-town tomorrow? Or “will you follow me to shop for furniture at Lagos?” = “You are being tough here, I need to take you out of town”: these type of men know that some girls like travel, site-seeing and will jump on the offer to go out of town. But the catch is you will end up sleeping in the same hotel room few days with him, and most likely cannot resist there.

12. "I traveled out of the country and just came back" = "I went to village and just returned". Usually real men who breeze in and out of the country hardly say "out-of-the country"..they wil simply say I traveled. You have to inquire further to know it was out of the country. They don't brag with with for security reasons.

Finally, any lady who leaves a man who has been genuinely caring for her (no matter the challenges and difficulties) and jump to another man using the above lines usually hit a dead-end in relationships. She will end up losing both men. Period!

Kimoni:
As in eh, this kind generalization just dey tire person no be small.

How can one isolated incident just turn to "most". I hear and see female bank marketers getting married every Saturday, are they marrying goats? Na only female bankers dey market or face customers?

Bushmarogos everywhere

But that's how everybody including pastors say 'Osu' cast system has been abolished in Ibo land and no one should pay attention to it, yet behind closed doors, the same people who say that won't allow their son's to marry one. As a woman you don't know these type of things affect one's psychology and well-being knowing you don't have a level playing ground with everybody else. We can't just over-look it.

ORALL:
Two things,either they are afraid she might sell her body just to meet targets....

Or she might ignore her husband and family all in the name of pursuing her career and forget her wify duties...

Kudos to the guy parents,securing their child future and family reputation...and also guiding their son interests

The guy should kindly look for another lady,should I be his dad, there won't be any marriage

Hmmmm! but you did not give any real proof why u will take such a stand as a father. That's what I am eager to hear. Does anyone have a real story to back up these fears about female bank marketers or it's just perception?

SAMBARRY:
Some families are very ignorant and myopic like yours. I'm not sorry to say that

how can they conclude about bank marketers like that. Didn't their gumshion tell them that all career paths have their own temptations not only marketing

Be You a lecturer
medical doctor
teacher
nurse etc

anyway it's for the man to decide

Very true! But perception can be very damaging. That's why I want to know what gave the job this type of notoriety in Nigeria. marketing job is a very lucrative job elsewhere.

Hello Nlers, please I need only matured inputs here. I have an engaged friend in Nigeria whose Fiancee's family (family of the guy) is standing in strong opposition to her marrying their son. I have inquired, the only reason I get is that the girl is a bank marketer. Please forgive my ignorance bc I am lost and have not been to Naija for a while. I have tried Google but couldn't get answers.

1. What do Nigerians have against female bank marketers; isn't it a career like others?
2. Apart from rumors any real stories or claims to support this beliefs?
3. How many guys here can date or marry a female bank marketer?

Honestly, I am just lost. This sounds like a dream job where I am based, so I can't understand the family's strong opposition. Abeg can someone educate me?

hurpeyeahme:
Stable and comfortable I like

Hmmm! I am not sure there's anything as a comfortable man or comfortable marriage. A comfortable man wouldn't need a woman in the first place because he has all his comfort. He married because he's lacking something....people don't marry for comfort, dear.

In discussion few days ago with my niece, I asked her what type of man she was looking for in a relationship and she said a “Stable man”, but in her description I realized she mixes up a ‘Stable man’ with a ‘wealthy man’.

Who Is A Stable Man?

Stability means the ability to remain in one state or remain on course no matter the changes in the environment. When used in a relationship to describe a person it means for instance a person who is not likely to change or affected adversely by either situations or with time. When it applies to men, it’s typical of men who have regular jobs or businesses that grow over time, most likely to either remain employed or generate income till retirement. These are also men who have lived in a certain location for quite a while without relocating around every now and then. Women prefer stable men because they show traits of being reliable and some who will be there when he is needed. Even though they may have a very modest income say N100k or less a month, the family can plan their lifestyle around that income and project with near-accuracy, where they may be 10years from today.

Who is A Wealthy Man?

Wealth is determined by a person’s Net worth (Assets – Liabilities) or what a person owns minus what he owes. Wealth is the most elusive quality to base a relationship on because it goes up and down. Moreover, most people we see as wealthy have negative Net worth. They may have flashy cars, dress like celebrities, and live in mansion, however, majority of them are swimming in bank loans and riding on connections. A little shakeup in their life and situation see them crashing like balloon filled with water. I guess you know many celebrities who lived flamboyantly in the past, however either died poor or are living in poverty today. Except if the wealth is table (from a concerted investment plan that guarantees lifetime continuity) otherwise it’s called a ‘Moving Target’ or building on a ‘Quick Sand’ . It caves in very easily under pressure.

Choosing Between both With Examples

A young man who is an Assistant Lecturer today in a university, driving a fairly used car, and lives in a three bedroom apartment with a prospect of becoming a Professor one day should be much more stable and attractive for a long-term relationship than a young man who drives a Benz 550 S-series, has a lavishly furnished office, lives at Lekiki area of Lagos but whose income depends on either 419 or political connections. Such people crash fast when they lose their connections and eventually develop unhealthy addictions and lifestyles to validate themselves. They also die early due to excessive risks, lifestyle diseases, and more likely to have unstable relationships, troubled old-age because they are ‘moving targets’

I hope this helps as you make life-changing decisions through prayers and God's will

cococandy:
I don't think anyone who's sane would ever say stuff like that to someone they just met.

Like "I'm in pain just coming from abortion clinic?"
Or "I don't know, it rubbed on me during sex this morning"

Seriously?

Who thought of these. OP was it you?

..I don't think you live in NYC or DC. If you do, y'd know that angry black ladies say worse things than that. You don't wanna cross their line on a bad day. Moreover, remember these are ladies who don't wanna have anything to do with the man in question. It's a turn-off response...called a 'Get lost answer'. As per being vocal, you ain't seen anything yet..cross the line of an angry black lady from New York or Washington DC, you will enter enter flight back to naija..fast fast!

MarvellousGod:
Sorry OP, Nothing's funny here...



Try again later...

Try the book "Improved Reading Comprehension" : The title said 'Brutal Responses From Angry Ladies' and not 'Funniest' Responses... in an attempt to hate u just exposed yourself. You should have kept it to yourself and pass by. You see what happens to haters!!

By the way, why are using two different user names?... (just an observation)

1. MAN: Baby, you smell nice, what perfume is that?
LADY: Awww! Thanks. I really don’t know. It rubbed on me from my boyfriend’s bodyspray during sex this morning.

2. MAN: Why don’t you reply my text messages?
LADY: So you are the one sending all those texts to my husband’s phone from a strange number?

3.MAN: Baby, I can’t sleep since I met you, give me a chance.
LADY: Not now please, I am in pains here; just coming out of an abortion clinic.

4. MAN: I can help you get a job, but we need to talk
LADY: Thank you, as long as it’s not a ‘Blowj*ob’

5. STRANGE MAN: Babe, don’t worry, I will pick up the bills (at a checkout register in a mall, lady’s bill was only $17.22)
LADY: Awwww! Thank you so much! (Turns to the Cashier). Please add the Men’s perfume, mustache trimmer, and packs of condoms I just removed (Final bill was $319.40)

6. MAN: Wow, girl, did you just drop from the moon?
LADY : Didn’t you use that same line on a lady last week in the mall, I was standing right behind you?

7. MAN: Sweety, can I have your number?
LADY: 313-779-0000 (State hotline for mental rehabs)

8. BOSS (3 months after influencing the hire of a beautiful secretary in a corporate firm with strict rules): Nina, you will be following me on a 2 weeks trip next week. Please make reservation for one room to save cost.
LADY SECRETARY : Sir, I forgot to tell you during the interview I am a Lesbian.

9. MALE CUSTOMER: (To a Bank marketer over the phone) : I saw your proposal, I will open the account. Come see me at Chico Motel by 5:30pm.
FEMALE MARKETER: In Dubai? Oh wow! I didn’t get any flight ticket o sir. Let me check my email.

10. MAN: Maybe we should hangout sometimes
LADY: Please I am your wife’s closest friend in the church

11. MAN: Woo hommy! I dig your shape, you are tight…
LADY: Boy, this is Bronx, you won’t get any lady here like that. You need to spend some money on yourself first.

12. MAN: (inside a train, after a long toasting) Do you mind hooking up on weekend for a night out?
LADY: I didn’t know you like a transgender (smiles)

13. MAN : (in a hotel room) Please what do you need, name it, I have spoken for too long, yet you are not moved?
LADY: Just an apology because I got everything on tape for your pastor.

14. YOUTH PASTOR: (in his office) God wants to use you specially in this church if you make yourself available to him. Just work closely with me
LADY: You came late, bro. I am with Pastor John already. It’s same God.

15. MAN: (to a lady in club): If you have someone tonight, we can talk
ANOTHER LADY standing nearby: Don’t listen to him, he gave me a bounced check last Friday.

16. MAN: I love that smile on you. What’s your name?
LADY: Theresa
MAN: Tessy, what do you do?
LADY: Private Investigation & Background Checks.

armyofone:
Ummm where is the gentleman Ness if he told the cashier not to ring up her purchase? ? That was plain and slyly rude plus embarrassing. There are better ways to prevent your wife from buying something. Not saying what she did was right but guys know your woman personality.

Hmmmm! Many posts here might be right. I don't know what's going on between them at home. Perhaps my shock is that I was raised as a home-girl not to raise my voice not to talk of screaming in the public. When I was a little girl I got into a school fight with a boy (because I attended a Co-ed). My mom was more furious that what if the boy stripped me and disgraced me in the public. Maybe i was wrong by saying that it was caused by freedom in the USA. but A lady should be a lady. Honestly I detest people who call names during arguments, be they men or women. It's just too petty. when u call names you are avoiding the issues.

feran14:
everyone argues. You don't know their story, you don't know why she was angry. Besides, she is alone is not all the Nigerian women abroad. just because you saw one woman doing it doesn't mean they all do it. unless you have seen like 100 different cases since you arrived

Hmmmm! I didn't say all. I said 'Some' even on the heading. Hope you read it before comment.

edwife:
What can I say....

It is called modernisation...

Chei, sista mi...I taya. I think the man was objecting to something she wanted to buy and told the cashier not to ring it up, and all hell let loose and all demons left the gates of hell and raced down into the woman What can cause this type of uncontrollable Anger? She's my fellow Igbo sister ooooo known for our high education. She didn't show it at all.

Some Nigerian women abroad are practical disgrace to our country and to motherhood. I was in a mall few hours ago watching a very shameful display of public disgrace by a Nigerian woman (in her late 30s or so) arguing with her husband right in the line at the register..screaming and calling him unprintable degrading names. The woman obviously looks like she is the bread-winner (but I don't know) I wished I didn't greet them earlier so people wouldn't know we came from the same county. I must say the man is a cultured gentleman who stopped talking once his wife's voice went up. He even left the line and walked back and the lady kept screaming and calling her husband names, narrating to thin air things people don't need to know... and at some point screamed "..you will force me to divorce your azzzz..." wo! wo!! wo!! The most appalling is that their little kids are their watching. Can't this type of argument wait till you get home? I walked away in shame.

Please my sistas we are not the only ones that came to America and met 'Freedom' and 'rights' but the way some of us misuse it is shocking. Indians, and Chinese saw the same freedom too but use it to build 'empires'. Let's start showing some family values. You men, please be careful the type of women you marry and bring abroad. All this una one month Facebook friendship and arrangee hookup without proper dating and courtship is your undoing. Look beyond physical looks and appearances.

Hi-Fives tor all those naija sistas out there doing us proud, and representing good family values we are known for. God bless ya sistas!!!

Thumbs up!! Great lesson!

Yet there's hopelessness and poverty everywhere....the politicians spend the money on themselves, families and their friends while the people cheer and give them awards and titles. The revenues are generated mostly through double-taxation and not through employment-yielding initiatives otherwise these states will also be the highest-paying and highest employers of labors in Nigeria. The black man should really sit back and question the content of his brain.... if you give oyibo that money, those states will look like a mini-haven...

why are most heartless crimes against kids and housemaids in Nigeria committed by young women?..what do these ladies see or pass through in life that turn them into monsters/demons

I was told if he still uses a blackberry or one of those old phones and refuses to upgrade, it may not be a bad sign after all - sign of loyalty, someone who sticks to something he loves no matter the frenzy around him

If he's always online but not chatting with you...hehehehehe!!..there may be many of you (online lovers)

Good AM NLers. This question is not for me (Some of u know I am already taken). But I have always gotten very useful tips that helped me in life from NLers on various issues. Yesterday a friend was narrating to me fears about long distance relationships & the possibility that the other person could be hiding a lot of his/her real personality and projecting 'saintly personality' only for u to find out when you are already emotionally deep in the 'water'. I didn't know when I said to her "..but there must be some clues that reveal a true personality no matter how people try to conceal it..". She wanted me to explain further..but then i realized I was neither experienced in personality-reading no a psychologist. Therefore, I am throwing the question to NLers for help:

In this era of meeting people via Facebook and social media for long distance relationship, what clues in someone's behaviors/ attitude can reveal his/her true good and bad traits/ personality?

For example what clues can reveal if:

1- either he/she has problems moving along with other people or is a truly friendly personality?
2- either he/she has serious attitude problems, hence the reason for being single till date?
3- either he/she has a lot of emotional baggage and frustrations in life that may become time-bomb later?
4- either he/she has hot-temper/ anger issues
5- either he/she is lying about his/her education/job/ career?
6- either he/she is telling the truth about his/her past relationships and why they ended?
7- either he/she is a serial womanizer (for men) or a Gold-digger (for ladies)?
8- either he/she can make a good and stable family, or will easily quit and file divorce when things don't go his/her way?
9- either he/she is more interested in traveling abroad than a real relationship

etc, etc, etc, etc

Please give us as many clues as you can from your training or experience even if it's not listed above. List clues for good and positive qualities too, not only negative ones too.

God bless you for sharing your experiences!

dinachi:
How pathetic! My argument is childish and lacks logic because I scattered your self appointed mission to preach your gospel according to homosexuality. See you talking about someone being hateful, yet you refer to another human being as being lazy and vision less! You hypochrite! You are a pathetic attempt by the Naira land homosexual lobby to sound relevant. Someone emailed you? Can you be more specific and include real names of the person and your own two hypochrite? Continue to sit on your stupid high horse puffed up with pride on your supposed wisdom in supporting an evil lifestyle that can only cause more problems for our continent. If you are courageous enough come out openly and support homosexuality! For starters you should have started the thread with your real name and total identity let us see your courage!
Nigeria has a well known law that prescribes a jail term of 14 years for homosexuals on conviction. Instead of you coming out openly to lead a protest and show the world your "wisdom" in supporting homosexuality you prefer to hide in a faceless forum like naira land and talk about courage! At best you are a clown! Since that law was passed, we have not seen any protest by anybody or group of persons against it except feeble attempts on faceless forums like nairaland by cowards like you!
Like I said earlier many of you homosexuals have totally lost it! Regurtitating your worn out lines on being hateful and judgemental is stale. We know your tactics and very clearly we will continue to prove that you are a bunch of perverts no different from paedoph1les and those who practice ince5t.

@Dinachi, Long time, bro! wish I could email u privately...yahoo no let me log in oo.. Cut it bro. it's ok. u're walking into a 'dangerous' trap if u keep writing. Remember musician Shabba Ranks-na so his career carry end o. (once upon a time, he was a star...) . u & @bigheart2013 are very good writers and contributors to knowledge. I still enjoy ur political analysis. abeg hit politics session...Day never even break APC don dey goof o... abi na double I dey see so?....

thank me later bro... one love bro

coogar:
the boss chose him.
there's no way the guy woulda had the courage to ask his boss out.......people get sacked for such moves.

not really- they both worked on several projects together which brought them in close contact with each other to notice and admire salient qualities. the close collaboration led to "hi, how are you?" friendship, to having happy hours after work, to real friendship, to exchange of visits, to cautious secret dating, now to romantic relationship. Also bear in mind that the guy is older and even though he is lower in office position and education he exudes confidence, charisma and usually takes charge. This is a quality most 'strong' women fall for- a man that takes charge of situations. Honestly if you yank off the power skirt suits from any professional woman, there is a 'little girl' that yearns for attention, love, protection, and pampering. One thing this man does to my friend is he is not in competition with her at all and never feel insecure/intimidated around her. Outside office he takes charge as a man and the 'little girl' in her comes out. You can see that when they are together.

And he doesn't brag to his colleagues about what he does to her in privacy to feel big-----for us ladies that sucks

andromida:
He is the one in the relationship. No one can be certain if she will carry the boss thing into the house, she is his boss at work not the boss of his life. What does he think? The guy is not feeling solid to me i fear any of her actions may be interpreted as bossy because of his fears and insecurities.

The transfer will it be in the same city?

yea! usually in same city or to different unit in the same building depending on where the skill is needed most but that's at the discretion of the VP. He could also decide to let one person go to avoid fraternization in the office. In this case he could very well be assigned to another project elsewhere where his 'wife' has no control or influence to promote him unfairly. It's a standard practice in most multinationals.. She's a super-rising star in the company and studied abroad too. Everyone knows the sky is her limit-definitely a Directorship or VP material someday..

misssclassy:
[color=#000050]Quick question. Is this a case where the guy hasn't approached the lady yet, or a case where they both love each other and the lady has already agreed to go on with the marriage?[/color]

The question is on the man's behalf. He wants to know from friends and family if he should go ahead and pop the question. Obviously she will say 'Yes' from feelers (what are the pros and cons?). He hasn't done that yet but would love to b4 she's snapped by another dude but concerned also if the lady can respect him at home or carry-over the boss thing to house. For now she's the boss-she's more educated and makes way more money too...she is a very sweet young lady though. But you know people change when situation becomes real...we women act somehow when we make more money...

Guys, candid answers please!

Guys, Can you marry your female boss in the office?

She's 27 and he is 30

She's 3 levels above him in the office and the boss in his unit

She has a Masters Degree, he has an undergraduate degree

She's the Senior Project Manager, he's a systems analyst in the unit

She makes about N720k a month, while he makes about N370k a month

The HR policy of the company allows that but one person will be transferred to another branch after the relationship becomes official.

What started as a close working relationship/ collaboration has become an office fling, and suddenly she's in love and whispered to her friend she will like him to propose.

2nd pat of the question:

What steps can u take to make such a marriage work considering that in Nigerian scenario he's been answering her Madam.

limamintruth:
Nice write-up @OP.
Personally i'm of the opinion that divorce becomes justified only when the life of any of the spouse in a marriage is in danger by the action(s) of the other spouse. Thankyou.

You are right. but before it gets to that point..don't you think something could have been done, but pride and ego don't let people do something practical other than 'pray'?

plaetton:
The quality of education is poor because we spend more time learning and regurgitating middle east myths than in practical science and mathematics.
Students spend more time in churches and mosques than in libraries.

How many religious denominations did you have in your university campus?,. And what exactly was their business there?

Exactly!! -----> sad!