₦airaland Forum

tpia@:
Can you save this your yellow silence for your relatives and spare us on nl your eternal whining and complaining about this and that? Unless seun hired you to chase people off the forum! Your nagging alone would chase anybody from your front!

Read Nairaland rules too. Hate and hate words get people banned too. Don't blame me if it happens. Happy people are far in majority than angry people around the world. Let's thank God for that. Fe minutes ago you were quoting bible. All ur pots are full of bible quotes. True Christians don't hate! B-u-s-t-e-d!!!

As I said before. Enjoy your daaaaay! I'm haaaapyyy & will keep posting things that keep u angry

tpia@:
is it every month the op opens these threads?

Please help me push the thread to front page again. It's been lull for a while. God bless uuuuuuuuuu! I even forgot the thread. , being happppppyyyyyy and hanging out with wonderful friends, listening to oldie naija jams. Never knew Chris Okotie was once Nigeria's Michael Jackson. You need to hear his music in the 70's.. Cool!

tpia@:
wow, you're certainly all up in your relatives' business.

seems you hate them so much, you keep spamming the forum with complaints about them, is everything ok with you? or are you a troll.

Positive people find ways to remain positive. Don't while way ur time going around hating, and pumping ur adrenaline for nothing. It's a very sunny beautiful day here. Wonderful and happy people are out there having fun.....Today is day off. I'm relaxing with over 10 friends over cool glass of drinks, listening to old school naija jams, just being happyyyyyyyyy. Wish you well dear. Enjoy your daaaaay

tpia@:
I agree something is wrong with your background.

But is nairaland the place to hash out your issues, or why do you spam the forum with threads abusing your relatives? I'm tired of reading about your dysfunctional life, any chance you can keep your moaning and whining to yourself?

My dear, out of every one dissenting voice, if there are 10 voices that 'Like', that's what matters, because it shows more people benefit and happy than those who don't benefit and are angry. However, silence is golden sometimes when you don't agree. That's a better way for matured minds to handle people they don't agree with. As for me nothing puts a negative word in my mouth! U're still a beautiful & wonderful person!!.

tpia@:
dont know why people like giving christianity a bad name.

This is what the bible says:

1 Tim 5

ke ma s'adura bi epe nbe.

always looking for who will pray for you, small time now una go dey abuse pastors say dem dey buy jet. boy'enu awon mi nro, won le s'adura fara tiwon.

I agree with you. We Nigerians are known for bending the scriptures to suit whatever we are doing (good or bad). There are some bible justifications you hear only in Nigeria and no other Christian nation. In all there's no reason to justify taking advantage of people. If we stop subsiding irresponsibility maybe some ills in Nigeria will clean itself. Maybe we need to start factoring in the past, and background of some people to know the role they played in the state they are in today. You can't eat ur cake and have it.

Ujujoan: Meanwhile, will you be the one to bless me with my first western union encounter?

Honestly you really deserve it. I follow ur comments. U and @greatgod see things differently and have touched many people's lives, perhaps saved many marriages from collapse and many from committing suicide. I'm sending you a heavenly 'western Union' now, your MTN number is 'AMEN', receive it IJN:

"May God fill your days with a long, healthy, fulfilling life. Cancer, stroke, ailments, accidents, robbers, kidnappers, and all man-made curses shall never find their ways to you or ur family. The blood of the lamb is hereby smeared on your 'door' and on all good-hearted Nairalanders. There will be a passover over you. Before the end of this year you will share a post of a wonderful testimony of His favor on you.

May those who agree click like to say Amen.

Ujujoan: I'm still wondering if all my family and friends LID have forgotten they have a sister/friend like me.

When I hear how people send money to their relatives in Nigeria, I wonder why my own is different . . .

Sooo many times I've prayed that someone will send me GBPs or USDs . . . still nothing. Last my husband's friend came visiting from the UK. Stayed in our house, ate our food and still 'borrowed' 20k from hubby. We said bye bye to the money the day he left . . Even one chocolate I no see . . .

who are you people sending this money to abeg

. Laughing out loud here. My sister the difference is that u're well-raised, have a sense of pride, self-contented & therefore do not beg. Some of these pple we're talking about know how to whip up sympathy & sentiments...b4 u could even say 'No' they are full of teary eyes, shaky voice kneeling down, creating a drama. They're the same bank managers who'll never pay for call, rather flash u to call them back so that u'll pay for the call . Some of our naija sistas can be drama queens sometimes honestly, even abroad..

faakay: @poster

It depends on where you want the person to get the information/something, if it's within the state then he/she should be able to help you with except maybe he/she is broke.

Talking about helping people is at your own convenience so you shouldn't be expecting any return from them

In conclusion:
I think the folks you help are the same folks you send errand

If this is the scenario, then that's not cool.

How about someone who has lost job for more than 4 times. She's never been fired, she always quit for one reason or the other (The job is too boring, it's too stressful, the salary is too small for graduate, I can't find myself doing that kind of job, etc). We pooled funds 3yrs ago and collectively opened a business for her, she abandoned it after one year, saying customers don't come to the shop, she'll prefer an office job....I am not exaggerating! Honestly, the regime of 'Easy money' to girls from some irresponsible Nigerian men have completely affected the psyche of some (not all) Nigerian girls. forget about the shout of unemployment. Majority of them either don't want to work or can't work (except an office job to be a mistress to oga). Do u still want me to sympathize wit these type of people, or fund their irresponsibility bc they need money?

Sorry to say usual craps from today's Nigerian youths. Money, money, money!! For ur info dear, employers have a way of calculating an employee's productivity, u're only paid a percentage of what u make for the employer (usually, btw 10-25% of what u generate for the biz). That is how salary is calculated. Your employer is in the biz to make profit not to pay staff out of sympathy. Sometimes, some people think they can hide under other employees to cover their inefficiency. next time u ask for a raise, ask urself how much do I personally generate for d company? It's not enof to just come to work everyday, or flash big certificates, private businesses compensate personal productivity/output, not sympathy.

I advise you to go open your own business and make the big money u want

I think the issue is with how you bring up the matter with her. Nobody likes to be criticized even if it's the truth.

I'll suggest u schedule you and her for a routine annual medical checkup. By the time she sees those Cholesterol numbers at 287, blood sugar at the boundary, and a doctor closes door, heaves a big sigh, and slowly explains to her how heart attack may cripple her, if not sending her to meet our Lord Jesus very soon bc of lack of exercise, trust me she will be the one to wake you up every morning for a walk. Nobody likes to be criticized, but Nigerians don't like to die.

I see this approach work at the clinic all the time..it's called 'Fear mongering' in marketing. It also works in the church. If pastors can't get your attention with how sweet haven is, well, they will tell u what a 'black', two red-horned, fork-holding, nose-smoking, tail-wagging Devil will do to you in hell-fire if u don't repent..You will run to alter-call with speed..

brighter: Woged2005: Pls when it comes to feminine products that enter ur body buy USA or European quality (tested & trusted). Avoid cheap Chinese products to avoid side effects. Anti-bacterial feminine wipes sell for abt N600 - N1,000 per pack (US quality), which lasts more than a month. Please elaborate more on this products, if possible give few names

Disclaimer: Please your personal physician is the best person to advice you on health issues/ products. I'm not one. Do not rely on my unreliable advice.

Having said that many supermarkets and pharmacies have a rack designated for feminine products. On the rack I usually see products like:

1.Tampon,
2.liquid douche,
3.regular douche,
4.feminine wipes,
5.ovulation predictor,
6.pregnancy test strips,
7.female pads,
8.pantyliner,
9.anti-yeast creams,
10.anti-fungal creams,
11.urinary tract infection test strips,
12. intimacy lubricants,
13.bikini-area wax (hair remover)
14.female shave creams (hair remover),
15.Vag*nal PH balance soaps/ creams
16.massage creams/oils
17.silky smooth leg creams (Leg hair remover)
18.acne wipes(to control pimples and face oil)
19.facial spot removers (to remove dark spots on the face)
20.blemish removers (removes balckheads and red blemishes)
21.body sprays
22.female vlbrators (, zzzzzzzz! for married couple pre-intimacy or for all those lonely ladies)
23.panties with no pant lines (pants that don't show lines on your skirts or dress)
24. vag*nal contraceptive creams, foams/films (they kill sp*rms on contact. Note they don't prevent HIV infection)

etc, etc, etc I don tire. dem too plenty for USA.

hahahahaa . I see these products everywhere in the stores in US and UK. I'm sure they'll be in Nigeria too.

Ok don't ask me more.

pickabeau1: Good point but if there's a belief that the divorcee is living in sin ab initio, people will be reluactant to date the person

You get?

Most beliefs are based on inadequate information, or lack of it (I refuse to use the word 'ignorance' in order not to insult some people). For instance, in Nigeria some pastors label Children 'Witches and Wizards' and say such children are the cause of their parent's misfortune, which is absolutely half-baked theology if not ignorance of the scriptures. Even Bible made it clear that you must be like a child to even make haven ("let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God " (Matthew 19:14) ...so do witches and wizards live in haven? Yet don't you have people believing what the pastors say, abandoning or even killing their children based on such misinformation? I wrote the post to correct such misinformation.

Nkpume Iko: Dreams are part of human existence, but their exact role is often times inexplicable. I have often tried to understand just what the correspondence between dreams and reality is, but more often than not, I find this elusive.

Dreams are almost a companion for me. It is there I add one plus one and it becomes two.I really don't like it.

Sometimes, I find stuffs I saw, heard or read appearing in my dreams, others it's like what i saw in my dreams have become my reality. Most of my dreams come true,'most' I said, not all. It makes me often times look like a prophet of doom.

Pls guys, are there really correspondences between dreams and reality

A book recommendation to help me out is also welcomed. THANKS!!!

1.There's day-dreaming, which one manipulates herself to get some excitement or self-fulfillment.
2.There's nightmare especially after a traumatic experience (like watching a horror movie, sad events, accident, listening to a sad story, illness, losing someone, etc) and your mind tries to relieve that experience while you are sleeping
3. There are sweet dreams, when your mind relieves a nice experience when you are sleeping
4.There's hallucination (seeing images and hearing voices), which is a medical condition that requires medical treatment on time before it becomes madness

Usually and generally people dream of whatever their mind is preoccupied with, because the human brain acts like a huge recorder, which replays emotions, thoughts, events (good and sad ones), when you sleep. Sometimes the fulfillment of dreams in real life is a mere coincidence, sometimes it's self-fulfilling, like prophecies (prophecies are self-fulfilled. Your action, inaction or reaction towards a prophecy is what makes a prophecy fulfilled, not the prophecy itself).

My purpose here is not to justify divorce. Rather to educate people that dating or marrying a divorced person is not a sin because it's not adultery. Sadly in a divorce, obviously the marriage bond had been broken and ended. We are digressing now into whether divorce is a good thing or not. That's not the topic please.

doctokwus: Maybe am d one getting d op's tale muddled up.
@op,part of what u based ur conclusion(evn d main part from ur narrative abroad)is because u had to send $20 to a realation 4 transport fare to help check ur transcipt.Were u expecvting d person to use his/her own money to run d errands 4u?If u were down here wudnt u av spent money also to transport urself;did u factor in d time d person wud av used up running ur errands 4u,time dat cud av yielded him/her some money too.Evn if d person was jobless,sth might av come up dat period of running d errand.

I already clarified on this above. It's reciprocal too. When u send people abroad on errand u should pay them too. Time is useful abroad too, transport is not free there too. Honestly, I think it's more of a character issue than location and hardship. I'm sorry to say that some (not all) Nigerians back home are 'too smart' and petty to their own detriment sometimes. If u can't make little sacrifices for others because there's hardship in Nigeria, guess what? It's too cold or too hot abroad too to run around for u.

tpia@:
^ you were the one dishing out advice about people's private parts on another thread, but you're here on this one complaining you dont want to help your friends and relatives and inviting everybody to join you in abusing them.

you have your priorities twisted, i would say won ko e sugbon o jo pe oo gbeko.

Na u sabi o! I'm very consistent in my posts evident in the number of people who like my posts on any topic. This topic is not about giving rather peaple who take advantage of givers. 'Onye na amaghi, ya mechie onu ya biko!

tpia@:
Why would you be comparing nigeria with a first world country?

Stop being so petty and arrogant, nobody is forcing you to part with your money

As per how many people are "sharing" your experiences, that does not concern me.

Coincidentally, I've heard these exact same outbursts before especially from people at the receiving end when confronted. Suprisingly same people who won't give even a cup of water to anyone Pls we are not comparing countries here. We are talking about personal character. It doesn't matter where one lives. Character counts! Location should not be an excuse.

tunapa2009: @woged2005, if you tackling this issue from the religion perspective, then read Matthew 19 vs 2-9, romans 7vs1-3..... That is my take based on the religion perspective..

I just read those for morning devotion.... sorry for late response. work thinz!

bunsexy: i really love your post Woged2005 ...Thanks

Thanks Sista. If u look at the number of views on ur thread but with very few posts u can tell that many of our sisters are suffering in silence. They have the same questions but very shy to ask in order not to expose themselves. I thank u for the thread. I know how many relationships that have ended bc the man can no longer take his gf having bad odour. It's a big turn-off to most men. Thanks for the thread.

tpia@:
As per sending money for people to run errands for you, you want them to do it for free even though you know how difficult things are financially for most people in nigeria?
.

But when they want people abroad to buy them shoes, phones, clothes, medications, etc do they give them transport fare too? Do people abroad manufacture their own gas to drive their cars to the mall, shop, or pharmacy? We make the sacrifices for the sake of friendship/ family which some people back home do not reciprocate.

Don't even go there, sister. Life is far tougher for many Nigerian's broad than those at home. At least in Nigeria u can borrow oil, salt, or maggi, etc from ur neighbor to cook. Abroad, who will give you? -and how come my experience is same with that of most Nigerians abroad?

Sister, ur thread is very beneficial. Some men who're criticizing women here are same men u can't sleep on the same bed with due to body & mouth odor.

First u need to understand what causes odor in the private part of women. It's the breakdown of body fluids (including internal secretions, semen, pre-cum, menstrual fluids, discharges, etc) by bacteria/ heat, which causes them to decay & emit foul odour. Therefore, the difference btw women who smell and those who don't depends on how often they cleanup.

If you have started 'meeting men' :

1. To avoid embarrassment during intimacy, always enter bathroom & shower, wash ur private part, or use feminine wipes, b4 intimacy.
2. Immediately after intimacy enter bathroom and 'flush' (wash your private part with clean water or take a shower). It's almost a sin not to clean-up after s*x, especially if u didn't use protection
3. If u can afford it carry scented feminine wipes or douche in ur handbag. Use them any time u feel uncomfortable with ur odour. (Note: Doctors say frequent douching can kill useful bacteria in the body)
4. If there's good water supply shower 3 times a day, if water is scarce shower twice a day (morning, and night).
5. When going out in the heat of the sun, wear either net panties (to allow air) or cotton panties (to absorb body secretions). U can use a pantyliner to help keep ur panties clean. When u get back home u can then change to whatever panty that turns ur husband on (satin, silk, microfiber, etc). Use panties only once and wash them (don't wear dirty panties bc u think nobody sees it. bacteria sees it )

Pls when it comes to feminine products that enter ur body buy USA or European quality (tested & trusted). Avoid cheap Chinese products to avoid side effects. Anti-bacterial feminine wipes sell for abt N600 - N1,000 per pack (US quality), which lasts more than a month. I'm sure most girls can afford it.

ABSTAIN FROM PROMISCUOUS S*X. MULTIPLE PARTNERS CAUSE ODOURS TOO. IF YOU MUST HAVE S*X USE PROTECTION

igbonla: Scorpion needed a ride across the river and begged a frog to help out, the frog said he would carry the scorpion on the back across the river if scorpion would not sting him! The scorpion promised not to sting the frog and so they started the ride; just as they were about arriving on the other side of the river, the scorpion gave the frog a nasty sting. The frog was mad and asked why scorpion could not keep his promise to which the scorpion replied "it is part of me to sting, it is the way I was created"

Moral of the story - let nobody cause you to change, in fact you will lose some of what makes you happy if you try to change. Live the way you are wired and let those people deal with their issues.

. I enjoyed the story. U'll make a good kiddies story writer. Maybe that's a calling u've not given a thought yet

Honestly sometimes I wonder about some morals we keep at our own expense..while some people take advantage of other's goodwill.

bellong: ... Get a better company and people with positive attitude to life.

Honestly I've tried many across board, almost the same result (Perhaps except my parents). Even a bank manager flashed me to call her back only for her to tell me what to buy for her. She didn't want to pay for the call. It's just the spirit in some people.

bebe2: : dnt do business wit anyone o, u go turn to office for their hand if u want to help just help.

A WORD IS ENUF FOR THE WISE!!

I stopped doing biz with friends/ relatives back home after I read very horrible experiences of people on Nairaland often resulting in family feuds and even enmity - inflating/manipulating prices twice the cost. But can't someone abroad have a trusted, honest, good friend back home? why is it always one-sided?

bellong: The stinginess of people should not stop you from helping those in need. Remembering that whatever help you do, it is done with the mind of not expecting a return favour.

I know, but I am only considering stopping helping those who don't help me either when I need their help. Why give a sh**uu**t about people who don't give sh**uu**t about you? Must I pay someone to love or like me & be my friend? That's how I feel when I work too hard to keep a relationship..while the person acts like he/she's doing me a favor spending my money....

I've a relative in Nigeria who always ask for financial help but will never help anyone for free if it's her turn. Though she'll always say if she's the one abroad she'll help everyone back home. However, her utterances and responses towards other people in need of non-financial help suggest otherwise. Eg. she'll never run an errand for anyone except you pay or mobilize her first. She does nothing for free, even things she can do. Some will never walk around to get you even price quotations unless you either give them money for air-time or transportation. At one time I paid $10 Western Union fee to send $20 transport money to a relative in Nigeria to go check my transcript for me at my former school. If one cannot spare $1 from $10, do you believe he/she will spare $100 from $1000? Mother Theresa had nothing except a small house, yet shared it with hundreds of orphans. So you don’t have to be wealthy to share what you have. Giving is a spirit, and not a practiced act.

Sometime I feel so used by friends and relatives back home, who will never do anything for free despite all u do for them. Which leads me to wonder if it’s a stingy spirit that leads people to lack in the first place, and should you be helping such people?

Now u see why modern research discourages screaming at kids, spanking (beating) children as forms of punishment? Unfortunately, in Africa we think these methods are affective. If u raise ur voice on ur kids, you have lost control and now resorting to intimidation. If you spank kids you only make them hardened with time. Once they get used to beating what else will u do - send them to jail? Children are products of their environment. I think someone in your house or cpd uses his/her hands a lot to settle scores. The kids are copying that.

1. stop them from watching too much TV. They MUST go to bed on or before 8pm
2. Allow them to play a lot outdoors to burn the youthful exuberance (they are fighting for space)
3. give them team activities to build together, and ensure when one fails all failed to encourage them help each other succeed
4. discourage negative competition by praising one child. Praise them together as a team
5. Display affection for ur wife publicly so the kids can learn to love by example. Hold her in ur arms, cuddle her, stroke her hair, give her pecks and say sweet words to her so ur boys can hear it and learn to be mild towards women when they grow up.

You will be fine bro. God is with your family.