₦airaland Forum

What do you want from the relationship?

Nigeriangirl:
SURElee, God bless u. I think there's been history of physical abuse or wahala dey plenty cos nickibarb mentioned telling him she was tired of "fighting", cam't remember the exact word.
To each their own but for me, before marriage and even few months into mine, i was all for staying in it for better or worse till death... till i saw death actually calling with all the attendant health challenges i developed while forming WONDER WOMAN and pretending to everyone all was well while being manhandled at home.

Domestic Violence is a no no for me, every other challenge can be dialogued over and solved but battle of the fists, NO WAY!!!

Long time. Did you travel out of cyber space?

MrsChima:
Regardless of tribes and religions...there is one marriage ordained by God, which I speak of.

I guess the answer to my question would be no based on your vague answer.

i speak of all kinds of marriages. God, Amadioha or ogun ordained.

MrsChima:
Just because people gets married doesn't mean they believe in marriage. Marriage is ordained by God and those who are married for the right reasons are blessed! Many people including Nigerians do not respect the covenant of marriage and abused marriage for their own gain. Esphesian 5 speaks great volume of a Christian married family and many do not follow that order. So again....all Nigerian men believes in marriage...the real kind?

There are different kinds of marriages recognised by Nigerian law as there are different ethnic groups with their cultures and religions. Christians are just one of the groups. Nigerian men believe in marriage.

MrsChima:
All of them

since we are speaking in stereotypical terms, yes. The average believes in the institution of marriage. How they are expected to act in it is the only area of disagreement. We are not like the jamaicans( as they've said, not me) who don't even like marriage.

SemuhleB:
Lol this is so ironic because same thing can be said about Nigerian men and much worse. I guess Nigerian and Jamaican men are the same

NIGERIAN MEN BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE.

CELEBRITY JUKUN
MI ABAGA

menix:
This ur list will only matter when d northerners mst ve occupied 60% of d List...

And rightly so, since they have almost sixty percent of the population.
But buhari get sense pass y'all change haters, so he will disappoint you.

Joksea:
Babatunde Raji Fashola
Oby Okeweselisi
Ngige
Olayemi Cardoso
Frank Nweke
Adeniyi Adebayo
Abike Dabiri - Liaising between Presidency and the National Assembly
Kayode Fayemi
Rotimi Amaechi
Dotun Sulaiman
Technocrats from the SS and SE

All of you have no plans for the north. Is the president-elect a self loathing northerner?

egbedore:
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes at one time or the other. And as the adage says "To sin is human,but to forgive is divine"

But I have noticed that it is always difficult for ladies that have issues out of wedlock to get a man that will love and marry them. After all,having a child isn't a disease.

Why is this so?

First of all, not every single mother considers what she did a mistake. secondly, in nigeria the 'taboo' around being a single mother is not in every culture. My grandfather married my grandmother as his first and only wife when she already had a child and he hadn't any. He had no deformity, he wasn't broke and she was not rich. There was no special circumstances. It is not ideal but it is just not as big a deal as it is in some cultures. We don't all share the same culture.

Dyt:
Duh!!!
Who says its hard to get suitors?

They keep rolling in in triple folds
U attract what u want biko
I know lots of single mums that men are pleading to marry them
Even singles never get that kain attention
Bikonu speak for yourself alone
Its no freaking challenge
Accept me with my baggage or take a long walk
No time to waste
*whistling*
And wiggle comes to mind

You come online con dey make mouth. Thats always easy sha.

SemuhleB:
lol so there are no other attractive strong hot and muscular men out there who are good in bed? Angolan men for example have all these qualities and more and you don't hear them going round saying/believing that all foreign women love them? Is that not cocky?

Secondly not every Nigerian man fits that stereotype

Angolan men speak portuguese. Who cares if a portuguese speaking African blows his own trumpet in portuguese? We don't understand that gibberish.

Stop saying its your friend. You are the one needing a husband. Has it stopped mo.ro.ns from insulting you here? You can pray but don't forget to smile and take care of yourself. Every man wants a happy woman.
Tell your mother, father, siblings, friends, Co-workers and relatives without looking or sounding pitiful that getting married is the single most important thing to you right now. Be very specific about the kind of guy you want. If you can marry someone younger say the highest age difference you can handle. Tell them the least amount he should be earning. Tell them the education level. Be specific. The worst kind of house he should live in. face-me-i-face-you? Be specific. His tribe and religion. Be nice to people, you never know who's watching. A lady i know wanted so much to get married. She attended an event every other weekend just to meet a man. After two years of that she ended up marrying a colleague she had known for six years.

ginky:
You are welcome. If you dont want to let her go, then you have to change your mindset on these things for her sake.

She has been touched, she has enjoyed it, longed for it, initiated it. Sorry it is too late. Unless she starts with another guy and she warns him from the beginning that touching is off limits. Who wants to be touched more, man or woman?
She either comes back and get over the guilt, which she most likely will or move on.
Pandora's box has already been opened where this boy she is feeling is concerned.

Alexpissu:
It's quite dishearten seeing people criticize for no reasons...How many people here on NL are eloquent, confident and fearless when speaking. We just have this misconception about "Education" ....It is not all about seeing the four walls of the University . Education is everyday ....It's about developing the mind.

If you people will castigate this woman ....In my own submission, I will say education is more of a reproduce pattern .How many of you are functioning ?

Lets be more matured, discipline with our viewpoints on any topic.....We can all have a balance in seeing the truth.

Your point is not clear to me. That woman has both an NCE and a University degree. She saw the four walls of a university. But all i can see is a woman who has a lot of ambition without the desire to learn, either formally or informally. She is completely impervious to the negative feedback that her utterances are attracting. She has overstretched the limit hustling can take anyone.

Notyourb1tch:
what does movies have to do with it. It's like saying comparing Bollywood movies to Nollywood movies since the ladies wear Sari's then they are whores. That is a very backwards mentality. I am also in London so I really don't get your point. I just wish women would stop bitching unnecessary . I don't get why everything has to be a constant competition. You will find good and bad from both sides and generally Ghanaian men think Ghanaian women are better just like Nigerian men think Nigerian women are better. Let's stop all this childish rants. Women are indeed their own worst enemies. Smh

Don't mind her, baby. I love Ghanaian girls. we will talk in camera. You hear?

boluyongp:
@OP: it reflects you are still very much American in your mindset, you need to change that first if you are going to cope in Africa. Begin to think like an African, speak like an African and act like an African. Saying "Your resources" for instance instead of "Our" is not a good sign from you at all. Also, Africa is not a country, it is a continent made up of 54 countries. You also did not tell us what country in Africa you have your roots from or want to relocate to. I suspect you are partly Ghanaian sef. Africa isn't all about war and poverty, we are not that backward, go to Cape Town or Abuja and you'll be surprised they are far more developed than Arkansas or Tulsa.
By the way, you are a beautiful lady and I like your face, wanna know you off nairaland.

You want to show her your African banana?

buharisambisada:
A.boki cannot be accredited some would have damaged their pvc by now some would not have the patience to get accredited some would not vote some would come with dirty thumbs and it might take the whole day to get accredited USA don't know what's going on here they think nigeria is america ni?JEGA is not ready for this election.

Some would not have the patience to get accredited? Of all the things you said, i disagree with this. The ordinary northerner and illiterates in general have all the patience in the world. It is the 'enlightened' south you should be worried about where patience is corncerned.

nonykdj:
Pick a descendant of Dan Fodio no matter how
unqualified, then get a highly qualified infidel as vice.
It's always been the tradition.
The iconic Zik as junior partner to Balewa's NPC.
The "outrageously" qualified Ekwueme under Shagari.
The Brainy Sylvester Ugo behind the economy that
sustained Biafra for 30 months serving the dumb
Bashir Tofa.
The great Oyi of Oyi himself, Okadigbo under Buhari..
The law himself, Umezoke under dumb Buhari again.
The brainy lawyer/ pastor, Bakare/ democracy rights
activist under same certificate-less Buhari.
Now a highly cerebral/intellectually sound professior
of law under him.
All these nonsense because he has millions of
sentimental voters to bring to the table.
NANSENSE

He is not a descendant of Uthman Dan Fodio. He has no royal blood.

dupsil:
This might not be 100% true but have noticed that most handsome guys end up marrying ugly girls, and u see some very beautiful and pretty girls with very ugly guys. why?

Handsome guys become too lazy to hunt and pretty Girls get greedy and set themselves up for the highest bidder. Ugly people however learn very early in life that miracles still happen for those who are ready to work their as.ses off.
Nature wins as the best qualities of our species are spread all over.
Anyhow, na still #GODWIN

Forwetinnah:
Yeah right..compared to Mallam Buhari he was Genius, yes I said it!!

You have four years to eat humble pie. It will be clear that what has been missing in the polity is will, not brilliance.

Forwetinnah:
Buhari isn't fit to hold a match stick next to Mandela!!! Where do we even start the comparison...the late Mandela was light years ahead of him in terms of achievements. Comparing an Olodo, hiding behind brilliant minds to a Genius? Biko don't go there

Mandela was no Genius. He kept failing his law exams. Even he in his autobiography admitted he was not the brightest person out there. Going to prison does not make you a genius, even if its for a hundred years.
Mandela at a point was what you'd call a militant now. He was guilty of blowing up government facilities. He went to jail for his conviction but so did hundreds of others. They were steadfast principled people, not geniuses. No country has that number of geniuses.
His actions post imprisonment are what makes him great; Forgeting the injustice done against him and his people and building a new nation.

babyosisi:
Christians do not follow Levitical law

You are a lazy christian. You did not read it. It is not found in the new testament either. You don't read the bible and you want to tell me whats christian and whats not.

babyosisi:
Please take this false doctrine off Christianity

The part of the scriptures that speaks forbidden sexual practices is Leviticus 18:1-18. It does not include cousin marriage.
And to show you that that is how it was understood by the Jews, we find it occuring in Numbers 36:1-11 and 1chronicles 23:22. On both occasion its not spoken of in negative light.
I am not introducing my own doctrine to christianity. Its lazy christians who accept traditions of men as law.
prove to yourself that you are not by reading the cited bible portions.

francizy:
Oh! OK.. Then why is it so much of a taboo in some part of Nigeria?

It's even worse in my town that one can't marry a distant cousin even if he/she has a different surname.

Those taboos existed before the coming of christianity. You know our definition of family here extends beyond the nuclear. people have only carried their interpretation of incest according to their culture into christianity.

francizy:
Trust me, you wouldn't wanna be having some kind of lust over your cousins except of course you are not a Christian cuz Christianity forbids it.

That was in the past and that is what I hate most about my childhood..

Christianity forbids lusting after anybody that's not your husband or wife. period. Sexual union between cousins is not scripturally forbiden. You can marry your cousin. You just cant lay her before you marry her.

Frankmishael:
It is NOT a sin.......but it becomes a sin the moment you start using ur position as a soldier to start killing for your personal benefit or advantage and not because you're protecting your country...

I'm a man of God

You see man of Devil for here?
Back it up with the word of God and let us decide whose man you are.

shadowgwalker:
sure! nothing mega, and if in my reflexes I uproot your prick and deflate your balls,don't blame me. blame my anger moment

The bible says, 'be wrathful, but do not sin'. That your 'anger moment' has made you sin.
You are a violent girl. Those who live by the reflexes die by the reflexes and shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

DWJOBScom:
actually I had a closer(est) with 2 self and the 3 of us walked together and nothing crossed my heart or even the thought of dating them self. whenever friends tease me telling about marrying one of them I simply tell them it's too late
it's possible - I must hail the OP for keeping to the terms of friendship

You know your own mind for now which can still spring a surprise on you. You do not however, know the mind of the ladies. You don't know who has fallen in and out of love. I sensed feelings developing in a close friend when she was dumped and vulnerable. I had to use my medula and withdraw that period. whats the use of being close friends with someone of the oposite sex when they can't be maintained after marriage? You can hang out regularly with your male friends after you're married but you can't be doing that with another man's wife.
Boys and girls can't be close friends.
Which kind friendship Tiger wan follow dog dey do? One friend must turn to food.

Baddestguyp:
and you expect us to understand what u just typed

Except this is a modified version of an earlier post, I can't see whats hard to understand.

pretydiva:
Record a conversation of u n ur boss. Take it 2 d police as evidence and expose him and adulterous woman. Wat is dis world turning into?

The world has always been this way, my sister. We just have the media now.