₦airaland Forum

TV01:
...well, well, well. If you'd asked me to name one, or take a wild guess, it would have been Bro Gbile of Gboko . He came to the church I attended in my very early days to present a 5 day workers seminar. It was deeply expository, especially for me at that stage.

He is actually the reason I say "almost all", when I dismiss our resident Nigerian MOGs. Not that I can vouch for anyone per se, but I really learnt from Him at that time and read a number of his books.


TV

I guess that explains some things about your posts

Loolz people sha, number of rings is now an issue

As far as I am concerned a ring doesn't add any value to the marriage or even the wedding itself, its just jewelrey IMO.

TV01:
Pray tell, I'd be interested in knowing a bit more about the organisation

They are two different things, and I actually meant them as different things. Apologies if that was not clear. However, in terms of ministry, I believe if a mans marriage is in either state, the outcome should be the same, he should step down, as it literally disqualifies him. It can also be an indicator of the fruit one is bearing and whether he is a actually a true Christian/truly serving God.


TV

Okay, its PEACE HOUSE run by bro Gbile Akanni nothing really fancy (I mean in outlook) in most of their programmes but its the real deal.

They run discipleship classes in most parts of the country every week. I had/still have a personal discipler though its been a while I spoke to her last.When I say disciplers I mean they really do follow you up, I can tell sis lizy anything and I will get sound counselling or advice.

They do have christain students congress/meeting I never attended the one for the whole country at Gboko in Benue.They also have regional student congress.
They have retreats for ministers.
They have teachings/meetings for singles more like a training session for singles. At some point they were using shephard hill baptist Obanikoro. I think that's monthly.
They have retreat for "christain Ladies"

The weekly discipleship class is quite nice, not too large a meeting, We were around 12-15 in the class I attended then. We talk scriptures, bible study application in our everyday life(relationship with people, career, Knowing Gods will in every aspect of our life, marriage etc), following Jesus and you can always ask anything bothering there and we talk about it.

When you listen to sound teachings, especially from a non denominational source one realizes that the church is in a lot of trouble and you will be the only one seeing what is wrong in your local church and people begin to tag you as crazy.

Their books are quite cheap, not too fancy publications but deep, at least its not the paper I want to eat its the content. I do have some of their books and there's one written on marriage "No more two" a real show of what marriage should be like, practical teachings.etc


The major problem we have in church now is there is no moulding like Mrs tearoses said. No discipler to train up we the young ones, once you can catch them young, possibly from university train in the right way(of the lord) we make right choices, marry right etc.

Ohh and that's the first place I learnt not to get carried away by show of anointing by suitors looolz, the "powerful preachers outside and terrible husbands in the home" set of men and they are plenty ooo.





Yeah I understand now.

I laughed out loud when I read the ATM story @ tearoses, that's how we roll here ooo. its a naija thing.

Yes plenty moulding needs to be done and unfortunately I can't say peeps can be moulded either in families or even churches anymore, its that bad over here. I thought if the home is not comfortable you run to the church and there will be a sort of support system.

There is only one christain organization not a church (that I know of) that is still in the process of building up young Individuals for different aspects of their lives(marriage very inclusive) its non denominational and there's no my church or our doctrine factor.In fact when I see a fellow believer behaving in a particular way I know that its likely that person at some point has been through that organization.

Oga TV01 you used two different statements in your writeup A troubled marriage and a failed marriage I thought they are two different things entirely but the way you used the statements implied they are the same. I believe they are two different things. Whats your view?






Baldman don't think we have derailed the thread ooo, I think its for the best too, more views. No vex ehen.

tearoses:
I didn't believe his research statement
Although I dont have figures, I don't believe that a wayward women would make better wife either

However I am concerned about Christian marriages.
It is concerning..... Christian marriages are under attack. Also when one Christian marriage fails, it is demoralising for others especially if it is a couple that one has used as mentors.

Some people are genuine Christians and when I say genuine, they clearly do love God, but their marriages are breaking down because they are not using applying common sense and simply expect everything to work fine because they are following Gods word.

There is a brother who spends all his time doing Gods work, 7 days a week. He wont delegate cos he wants it perfect. No one wants to work with him either.

His family are suffering and everyone can see it except him. He cant understand why he and his wife are always at loggerheads.
He is not using sense.
Yet he is a good Christian.

The wife fasting and praying for 100 days is a good Christian, but what if she is married to Christian man who is at that level?
The "my pastor said", people are another set of people who love God and their pastor, but not all spouses want every minute detail of their marriages in the pastors ear.

Neither do I


You are right ma'am its under serious attack, almost few people to look up too. Too much brouhaha in christain marriages

Hmmm, I don't think the marriages are breaking up because they are following Gods word. The man/type of men in your illustration may not really a good christain in the real sense of it because Christianity doesn't say you should abandon your roles as hubby, wifey children etc when doing the work of God.

Someone went to visit a popular G.O(won't mention names) and he found him helping wifey with vegetables in the kitchen and the person was like ee sir eyin le nto efo ni. They said the G.O told him that this is my home ooo lool. One should be able to have time for family - very important.

Thats anotherther aspect I see a lot in church. Wifey and children are not getting fatherly and husbandly touches from their dad and dad is being fatherly to the sheep in the church while his own house is on fire, very common among minster/pastoral families.Its this same group the "I can kneel down for my pastor but can't kneel down for my husband"women belong to.

I even think some do the work of God and forget the God of the work lool.

There's a short mount Zion movie I watched some years back, "Busy but guilty"its about this issue how Gloria bamiloye became so engrossed in the work of God and forgot her responsibility to her hubby, going for long conferences, even when she's around its so so vigil oo, If oga tries to knock her door she's praying ni , she even locked the door behind so as not to distract her lool. Pastor/oga could not take it anymore as he was wondering if it was a bad thing to let his wife's ministry grow. On a particular occasion I think pastor just wanted her to be around and she had a " women's conference" in another country any way an angel(mike bamiloye) had to appear to madam that since his son was suffering he will take him home to rest, pastor Mrs began to cry, oga pastor had heart attack back home I think , anyway she was now crying when she got home beefing God that she won't neglect her primary duty loool . And all was okay. The movie is less than 1hr (45mins I think).

As for men in the category of the bro you just mentioned, I think they know that abandoning your family is not even pleasant in the sight of God,

I believe you wanted to say "what if she's not"

Does fasting and praying stop anything, I know Rccg does around 100days, Mfm does 70days every year. I really don't expect anybody to deprive his or her partner anything wifey or hubby duties if such occurs even if for any reason its just one of them participating.

tearoses:
I read it and laughed too, then I took a look around me and looked at the number of marriages collapsing here and there and many of them are Christian marriages which is very sad and alarming too

Being a Christian does not guarantee a good and happy marriage. Infact if at least one of them has been brought up with the wrong doctrine then there is trouble

There is a thread on this section where a man who didnt have sex before marriage suddenly started asking for anal sex immediately after the wedding
scary stuff

I guess being spiritual is not quite enough. One has to have common sense too and follow the right doctrines.

I understand the point you are coming from ma'am but marriages are collapsing everyday christain , Islamic, non religious.
If he had generalized I wouldn't have had a problem with it but when people start statements with statisticstically..., research has shown , I do get uncomfortable except there was a research done.


I believe that if one is a good/true christain ( well the definition of christainity that has been so bastardized nowadays) one should be able to have a good marriage.

Christainty is not just about going to church alone, a true christain should not be selfish, a true christain should place the needs of others, a true christain should be honest etc etc, these are just the basics for relating with the people we meet everyday not even about the marital relationship, so many marital-woe stories have we read on nairaland that is simply based on a partners selfishness.

Being a christain in itself may not guarantee a happy marriage but living like a true christain with biblical precepts will guarantee a happy marriage.

I do agree with you on the brought up with the wrong doctrine aspect e.g My pastor says syndrome.


Yes ma'am spirituality is just one of it, I still remember one statement I read here -Spiritual sensitivity and street smartness.

yvelchstores:
wow, wonderful. hbd daddy's look alike. why[b][/b]why did u pose wit your mother but didn't wit your wife? hope u are not those ppl who act like they are literally married to their mom. unfortunately that's my mums experience n I can tell u right nw, it's not d best.its not gud at all. enjoy ur marriage,God bless.

;DD

jbcul4ril:
Research has showed that retired wayward ladies keep their home more than most spiritually covered ladies..

Nairalanders will not kill someone, who conducted the research, where do you people get all these from.

I can infer from your statement that in order to keep a home it is better to be a "retired wayward lady".


The way people come up with statistics is very alarming.

An0nimus:
This post will be long 'cause of the quotes



Nne take a good look at these specs again. Let me number them



Tell me this list is not too specific. This guy can go on a date with a physical checklist to be sure he doesn't forget something.



This I agree, though he didn't state that less qualified candidates can apply. Oh well, let's not over-flog the issue. Whatever floats his goat.

Lool okaay

I think you posted pictures of your family sometimes back here. I hope someone that knows your wife won't see this post sha and if it makes FP.......
I would advise you bring them down from that thread, it is a small world before kasala bursts prematurely.


As for your predicament, God will help you bro.

You are scared of the unthinkable and what's that, are you scared you have wasted her time or something else and karma may come knocking, on ly you knows what you are scared of.

Logicbwoy:


See objectification of women! Gaddem!! Specs?


Specs? Are we buying fones or cars? These are human beings we are asking for. We are not cars with straightforward attributes. A person can be a christian today, a muslim tommorrow. A yoruba woman can hate egusi. We dont just tick boxes.



Many pastors have had their marriages end up in divorce with all the "specs" included. Prayer warrior wives indeed.


Come.......what am I doing here sef? It seems i missed road to the non-christian chatbox

Objectification I disagree, I am not one to do that

Lool maybe the word specs sounds somehow I think qualities sounds more okay, its just grammer.

Its simply what you desire or want or prefer , its all English.

TV01:
Choirs tend to be a hot-spot for egos and some kind funny practices in church - in my experience.




TV

hmmmm maybe because they are in the spot light

Don't be, it was a spot on post. I liked the encouragement, sound advice, practical pointers and particularly the matter of fact way you spoke about virginity. it tells me a few things about you. Kudos. Take one more sef .

Thanks

An0nimus:
That guy is in lalaland. I didn't want to disrespect him on that thread and yes, he is entitled to his spec. But c'mon, seriously? see the requirements for the position of a wife. How will he know she's a virgin? I understand where he is coming from but he needs to be real. If I tell you my spec, you'll ask if I want to draw her out of a comic strip. But I understand we're imperfect and can't get everything we want in others. We just have to be real to ourselves.

Besides, having a textbook woman like that will not always mean a happy marriage. The cooking might be bad, she might nag him to death, she might have serrriooous anger issues. Being Christian doesn't mean she can't have anger problems. She might even turn out to be a s.ex maniac when oga just feels it's for procreation only. So many other variables.

Are there Nigerian women that meet his spec? yes. The problem is if they are single or willing to date someone like him.

I told him to pray because that's the only way I can think of for him to get what he seeks.

E be like I don reach Ihedinobi length

Okay now lets look at the requirements they are making a fuss about

Christian: ( Born Again preferably CAC/RCCG) Family Background) It will be nice if the parents are well involved in Ministry
Educated: At least first degree with good academic records ( evidence of a budding career or business ( business is preferred)

Personality: Mild Introversion ( I am an extrovert, can talk for Africa, life of the party, multiple chain of friends, big baby etc)

Ministry: Must be involved in Ministry work ( it will be good if she is good with children and old people, I love these people)

Spirituality: She must be someone who understands the significance of ceaseless praying and the fact that we are all that we are by the grace of God ( so she will be humble and be able to exude grace and compassion). For instance, it takes humility and wisdom to even consider this online advert.

Life's ambition: She must be someone who really wants to make heaven and whose life's ambitions are subject to their alignment with that goal.

Ethnic: I am sorry, but I really will prefer a Yoruba Lady ( preferably an Ijesha ( or any other town in OSUN, Oyo or Ekiti)
Age: 24-27[/b]
Physique: Slim with nothing particularly conspicuous
Complexion : Dark ( chocolate)

Eyes: Big or moderate eyeballs with heavy eyelids ( the physical attributes are desirable but not compulsory)

Height: I am 5:8, so that is the maximum height.

Interests (movies, road trips, hosting guests, cooking and fashion)

Dressing: I need it to be obvious from your dressing that you are a Christian ( No rainbow colours on the face, no heavy jewelries and definitely no skimpy dresses outside of the house)

I am sorry, you will also need to still be a VIRGIN. I respect every woman regardless of their sexual history but for this position, a Virgin will be more appropriate.
Location: Preferably Lagos but if you have access to the social media ( location should not be an immediate barrier).

MY CREDENTIALS

I am a christian, male, professional in his early 30s. The qualities I want in my woman ( as stated above) sufficiently defines who I am. If you are interested PM me and you will be free to conduct your due diligence.
[b][/b]

I still dont see what the problem is in this specifications, these are basically what people look out for to their own specs

He didnt even emphasize on the physical attributes, Is there a christain that doesnt want to make heaven? Will he want to marry someone that is not into ministry
He had already stated what is compulsory and non negotiable i.e Christainity. I feel where people are having an issue is the virginity part abeg he has a right to want that jare.

So whats not real about wanting a lady he shares the same faith as yours, interested in your ministry, have something doing, A christain who believes in prayer, can pray, wants to make heaven,believes that everything is given by the grace of God, dresses modestly with no painting of face and to crown it all a virgin.

Do you know if hes a pastor
You said how will he know she is a virgin, is that the issue loool

Anybody can have anger problems and all those issues you listed thats the reason why people have to get to know each other

Thank God you admitted there are people who are his specs

Is this not part of what people look out for if they are dating? so why the fuss.

I do believe he will find whats hes looking for but not the total package, a little compromise here and there.

Lool you never reach Ihedinobi length, the guy for finish one page lool.

sonofluc1fer:
Hallo.. used to.be muskeeto/Amanfrommars... hope everyone's good.

Really, you like changing monikers oo looool.

We are all good.

TV01:
I also wanted a "non-choir member,



I found this post so meaningful in relation to OP, I'm 5* starring it. Really good piece. Thank you.

I am curious, why a non-choir member


5 star from oga TV I am humbled oo.



At baldman I meant you should state your own genotype so that appropriate matches can contact.

An0nimus:
My dear, I go apprenticeship for that section so that I go see front when Mrs enter the equation. Make the knowledge just dey pile up first.

So Ihedinobi2 is still on NL? I thought he deactivated.

Dagr8 business is going fine I believe? You do Neteller yeah?

Lool it is very necessary,

Since you are hear lemme kuku start the question.

https://www.nairaland.com/3318958/tired-bachelor-looking-purposeful-friendship

On that thread I saw some comments that his list is not realistic, is he really asking for too much? Are such people rare to find (I meet people like that everytime noow)

Honestly I don't see what the problem is with what he wants except he may not get that specs totally.


Cc

Ujsizzle -
ATMC
Mintayo-
Humbledbygrace
Ihedinobi2
An0nimus

Beautiful gown, nice design

I love the sleeves, the pleats and the material used, I really don't fancy the long train but she loves it and looks good in it and thats what matters


BTW when did long sleeves become a taboo

It doesn't have to be the conventional design we all see, she's a designer now

At least no show me your boobs this time around. Must wedding gown show all your body?

Her gown- me likey

dagr8:
Which apology you want?
Ihedinobi2 is active in diaries section

Really, I will check, Ihedinobi2- the guy that answers the what is your name question with a page.


Oya lemme Start tagging everybody
Ujsizzle - I do see you in the graphic section I think
ATMC
Mintayo-
Humbledbygrace
Ihedinobi2
An0nimus - I see you in FAM section
Etc

There are some things I think some of us will feel more comfortable discussing here than in public threads

Everybody come oo

dagr8:
HBG, you know I don't do that and Iam sorry if I did. Our nairalandship, our friendship is still very much valid

That's nice @dagr8,
I am waiting for my own apology oo,

Who has seen ihedinobi2/ihedinobi

An0nimus:
This type does not come except by prayer and fasting.

HBG was asking after you guys on the chat box, we all just deserted it, maybe I need to bring up one of those discussions again and tag all of you. Your post I quoted will make me bring one up again.
Watch out for my mentions oo.

Baldman, may you find what you seek.

https://www.nairaland.com/2988873/single-want-start-solid-christian

The link above was opened too by one Christian guy, you can go through it and join their group you may find your specs.

You will surely find what you are looking for although it may not be total package you expect. You didn't put your genotype which I think a lot of people will consider before even contacting you at all, kindly edit your post to include genotype.

freshvine:
Op, 24-27 years female virgin for Nigeria?
Check the covent

Yeah its very possible, I know people personally even above that age and its even male and female. Even those that are engaged gan at age 31 male 27 for female within that range.

Why do people think virgins are hard to find, they are everywhere now haba, you just need to walk with the right people and you will be shocked, just because there's moral decadence doesn't mean everybody is having sex.



Honestly, I don't see what's wrong with the list, since you are born again you should also pray.

The ambulance arrived in 20mins, that's impressive we will get there.

Lool, this virginity matter again.

Anyway virgins are getting married every now and then (male and female). They are much more than you imagine.

tearoses:
I didnt know either
I Am familiar with badadry too and I didnt know anything of the sort exists until I watched a documentary about it and then searched it out and voila!
They speak yoruba very well
and its the complete set - gele, ipele and fila
You can even bring your own styles
I was pressed for time so couldn't give them an order so just bought what they had
My advise, dont buy from the first person you see
visit several weavers so you can see a variety of designs
the prices are pretty much the same, but the designs are different
prices are mainly between 3k and 5k depending on what you want
they do all sorts of designs including jawu, silk etc

Thanks a lot ma'am.

tearoses:
You go past badagry and comtinue along the road as if you are going towards the border
You will go past badagry beach
Then on the left hand side there are hamlets (u can see them from the road)
There are lots of them actually weaving the aso oke
they mainly make to order, but they have some already made for sale too
They are not Nigerians

Thanks, I never knew there was something like that at badagry my backyard here. I thought it was only at Oje market Ibadan one can order .


The ones you bought was it the complete set they weaved I mean the one that can sew gele,ipele,fila complete from the bundle.

I believe the sellers can speak pidgin or broken Yoruba for effective communication since they are not naija.

Sorry for my plenty questions.

tearoses:
these ones are 5k in gbagi market in ibadan
and 4k in badagry

Ma'am tearoses please where in Badagry do they sell aso oke. It's my first time hearing they make asoke in badagry. I would appreciate descriptions thank you

[quote author=FemiKale post=48881428][/quote]You are welcome, so sorry once again. May God comfort you.

Op kindly go through this thread, it may help.

https://www.nairaland.com/20511/adjusting-life-widower

Accept my condolences.

HumbledbYGrace:
lol at Sabatical leave, I will do that.

Really miss this lot, Dagr8 stopped chatting to me after that fateful night, I send him messages but nothing, he was online but ignored me, guess our nairalandship has expired.

@guitarlife thanks for reminding me, mummy tgirlforeal, its been ages, greetings Ma.

@ Logicboy, really? Do tell me more.

Okay will be expecting,

I don't understand why issues like this should become issues, so even if the wifey had the baby a week before or was heavily pregnant almost at the point of delivery, do they expect her to travel with a new born child / in an about to deliver condition to another city entirely away from her clinic.

Do they really expect her to travel with an 8day old child, stressing the infant. Won't the wedding hold if she's not there? Travelling is stress IMO, you will stress your wife, your new baby and I don't think its worth it. If your wife won't speak for her self and the baby you should.
Explain to your father in law simple, doctors said she should rest and not undergo stress.EOD
This is not an issue at all.

Why saying you MUST?

Name your baby in your house with your pastors/ alfas let the others go for the wedding. Let the members of the family that won't go come for the naming simple.

The last time something like this came up in my family, those that couldn't go to abuja for the wedding attended the naming in Lagos. I can't imagine my cousins hubby being told to postpone the naming and travel to abuja for the wedding.

Horsesmouth:
Must everything pain you?

O kan ma nka wa Lara ni that's all.

Have a nice day mr "I can neither confirm or deny I have issues with yoruba women".