₦airaland Forum

reserved111:
All t.
Besides I never said dis young gal is sort She is a very pretty and intelligent young woman dat every man will want to keep if she were to be of age or wen she get to ripe age. [/b]Advice I seek is hw to make her remove adult kind of feelings till she get to d bridgebridge[b].

DjAndroid:
FROM WHAT MY SISTER TOLD ME, THE PASTOR DOES WANT HER SERVICES IN THE CHURCH COMPROMISEDA. HE FEELS SHE WILL NOT BE ALWAYS AVAILABLE IF SHE GETS MARRIED NOW

yetseyi:
If you are a young lady active in church working for God, some will want to retain you in church and the easiest way is to marry you off to a member.
One has to be able to hear from God herself else some of these church people will just lead one to the wrong path for selfish reasons.

yvelchstores:
reasoning out spiritual things with your senses might cause a strain. in my opinion, since it is this way, maybe to give her closure, she can talk to someone who is like a leader to her to help her pray on the matter, not to confirm or contradict her pastor but just to knw if d gentle man is suitable for her and her call. 24 is certainly not an age to rush into anytin yet...it can linger till a year so she is sure of what she is doing.in the main time, I will suggest she keeps an open mind.

bukatyne:
l

Your sister a junior Pastor cannot pray on her own to hear from God concerning her marriage; she is not afraid to marry outside the will of God/ wrongly; She is not afraid she is not marrying according to God's calender; She is afraid because her senior pastor may suspend her.

Step one: your sister needs to get closer to God then she will know the next step to take.

reserved111:
. I took time to examine her by telling her dat she is not yet ripe for marriage and she also needs to finish her studies cos she intend reading bus admin. But in response she told me dat even 13yrs gals get married bla bla bla. Anyway I will take u pple advice my withdrawing gradually

nacozee:
The problem with the sector lies on envy, jealousy, greed, inferiority complex comin from those who dont like their position and where God has placed them. If we all stick to our responsibilities,roles, and work limits, the sector wu b sweet. God bless all.

Walspring:
It's just #50 to go round and see the archives

TV01:
DG Bro' how far? I can only begin to imagine the kind of turmoil you are in. It's betrayal by any name - and by the one you trusted in most implicitly. It is well. First compose yourself, and be mindful of how you engage your wife until you take action. My thoughts; As a Christian, I do not believe divorce is ever warranted, so I will share with you out of that worldview. Taking your report as read...

There is something I personally term "marital goodwill". It builds up after a couple have journeyed together. Have found inspiration, encouragement, and intimacy in one another. When they have been there for one another, and through together. After such, divorce is never the simple clean-cut option it may appear to be, even without it, it's not

This woman was there with you through trying times and you have both endured and prospered together. Seek restoration. Truth is, women are all "much of a muchness".

First, obtain a secure copy of the recordings. Then discuss with your dad (and possibly your mum if you feel it appropriate). You then call a meeting with you, your dad (and mum), and your wife' dad (and mum).

I would normally eschew involvement of any 3rd parties, but she has already tarnished you as a wife-beater, even if it's only in the eyes of your parents, for their comfort, and so they don't get played again, you should exonerate yourself.

You then have a follow-up meeting that involves the both of you as a couple and both sets of parents. You can rationalise the number of meetings if you feel you can manage it in fewer, or have them close together. But you must strike, and strike early.

First, you want your wife' full acceptance and apology for her actions, and a recommitment to your home, and you as head. Then you want your In-laws full acknowledgement of the actions of their offspring. Freely and openly forgive her, then warn her briefly and tersely; this type of thing will irreparably damage the relationship if it continues.

Then ask your in-laws to speak to their daughters/sons whatever, and however they choose (do not do this yourself. Alternatively, you can have the husbands of the sisters involved present). Long/short, they warn them never to interfere in your marital affairs, and to stay away for now.

Have a DNA check on your daughter (I actually feel she's yours, given you've mentioned the resemblance), and check you are still potent. Then fire her again, she needs to be busier!

Don't accept any entreaties, overtures or mago-mago from her siblings. Treat them Offishly until they get the message, then only cordially at best. If their husbands are solid fellows, factor that in.

Not to sound blasé, but it's not as bad as it seems, but it could be a lot worse. Learn and grow from this. Keep a close eye on the state of your marriage and do everything to fortify it.

Love and treat your wife well, without pandering to her, or letting her see you as weak/malleable - not an easy juggle , I know. She should be maturing, and outgrowing some of these behaviours that can prove so damaging to marriage. See that she is. Watch the company she keeps.

All the very best. Bear your burden like a stout man.


Cheers
TV

^{...one wonders if the GDT that patrol these parts will come and advise divorce due to her violence, afterall, once it starts, it escalates till death, no?...}

bellong:
@Op,

Do you have a copy of the recordings?

Keep your calm for now, let your head be cleared first and don't do anything stupid as you may spoil a good case.

Your wife is naive and foolish like a lamb taken to the slaughter's slab. Her sisters are obviously jealous of her marriage and are pretending to help her conquer you with a view to destroying her marriage.

I want to believe her sisters' marriage are not in order internally and they are jealous of your mum's relationship with her. Your wife trusted them too much for being siblings not to mislead her but not knowing they have a different plan. Your wife lacks knowledge, discernment and good judgement.

The point she said this is what I am waiting for when you pushed her away is a giveaway that she was acting a foolish script she doesn't know the end.

Many will want you to send her packing but I don't think it is the right thing to do. Prior to this event, you have not found any bad behaviour in and with her. Take this as a first offense.

Does it mean you shouldn't address it, by all means do.

Don't change your attitude or behaviour to her, don't give her any idea to suspect anything till weekend. During the weekend, play the recordings for her and walk away. Prior to this, book an appointment with her parents alone. Then take the recordings to them for them to listen. Don't say anything, let them do the talking afterwards. Please don't involve your parents as it will crush them..

Your wife is not a lost cause, her sisters are. She needs wisdom.

May God grant you wisdom to pull through this