₦airaland Forum

For the sake of networking

I believe giving out numbers in this day an age doesnt neccessarily translate to agreeing to sex?
[quote][/quote]Please note, no one mentioned sex here and I wasn't referring to that. Networking is a different case, if that was the intention in the first place. Networking i also see is a new foung word some people use to get away with SOME *HIT SOMETIMES. The poster said they had been friends for a while and was probably because there were *sparks* between them not some sort of future business, that was why I said she should not have given him her number in the first place if she is already in a healthy relationship.

Anyway I see she has handled business they way it ought to be and  she said all is good now, so this case is closed.

Stay blessed all!!!!

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Fall out of love and try to recapture the love you had with your husband[/color]

O pa ri, I totally agree

If you were in a bad relationship, I would have advised you otherwise but here u go

OK honest response Shay?

It is your fault.
Why did u give him his number in the first place. There are and will be lots of temptation but u have to stand your ground. Honestly i don't understand some people. If you knew from start you were in a good relationship and were committed, a guy who fancies you should not be on your contact list or have ur number either. He shouldn't even have 1 sec of your time. If you leave ur man for him, trust me he will do the same to you cos he has seen first hand how easy it was to pull u away from a man you had planned to spend the rest of you life with.

I always go by this rule, How would I feel if my man did this? It has made me always make the right decision on every level.

If you are bored, do the things that u used to do with your man that made u fall in love with him in the first place, text love messages to him, have intimate conversations and have fun. CUT OFF ALL CONTACT WITH HIM. Most of all Put God First before anyone.

First of Introduction does not give entitlement of husband or wife. However it shows a level of commitment and agreement by both party to get married.

If I were u, I'd completely stay out of it and let her know you will not be a party to this. Next time he calls u, tell him u have no idea where she is.

If she is so darn sure she is free to do whatever she wants, she shouldn't be hiding and telling lies about where she is going to. Afterall she is "free". If she isn't interested in committing to her man, then she should back out and stop her cheating ways at least she won't have to be accountable to anyone.

They are human too, I don't see anything wrong in that.

@Poster.

First off, I cannot commend you for dating 2 men at the same time. Not sure what this world is coming too sef. Oga oh, oshi nile pako.

Secondly, I will for the sake of your future children and marriage, marry the AA genotype guy. It has been said that 1 out of 4 will be SS with to AS's BEING married but I have witnessed a marriage with all 3 children that have SS genotypes and 1 of the children just passed away few months ago. Other than that, it will be selfish for you to put your child's life at risk because of the love you have for someone or the wealth that they have. You know the facts now of their genotypes so ignorance will not be an excuse.

Always Remember, no condition is permanent so a wealthy man today could be a pauper tomorrow.

goodluck to you double dater

Mmmmm,
I know some in-laws could be quiet annoying but how would you feel if your husband said that about your family. It is understandeable for you to say they always come for the money. However for you to say you do not want to see them is going overboard. You will forfeit in the long-run if your husband has a close tie to his family.
Trying to work things out with your hubby and putting them in God's hands should be in your thoughts. It isn't fair for you to have ur husband isolate his family because of you. They were there 1st and remember if his mother never gave birth to him, u wouldn't be married to him. Not that I'm condoning their behavior but for you to say you do not want to see them if jsut not right. In a marriage, there are things that should be left unsaid and this is definately 1 of them.

Sooooo sad


I have 2 young boys (3.5 and 2 yrs old). My self and hubby work 5 days a week 8am -5pm but we make it a must to call them 2ce while at work and spend 3hrs with them everyday teaching, chatting, yelling and playing cat and mouse. We try to plan our weekend activities to include our childrens' participation AND STILL MAKE TIME FOR DADDY AND MUMMY TOO. I never had that time with my parents but vowed to be different with my children.

Especially with the new generation, NOT spending time with your children is not an option if you don't want them to become wayward. I hope that many parents realize the need to be in their children's lives. Our children need our quantity time and not only quality time. BEING TOO BUSY is not an excuse or good enough reason not to spend time with your child.

For parents with young children, it's not too late to make amends or too early to start. Our children should act like children and not toughened and hardened like this poor baby. EVERY PERSON CAN BE A FATHER OR MOTHER BUT WE NEED TO BE DADDY AND MOMMY TO OUR CHILDREN

AS genotypes bearing children is not advisable. We just buried a family friend's daughter who was 4yrs old last Thursday. 3 of my high school friends also died of this Sickle cell disease. Several people go into marriage without finding out blood types. I am happy that this is finally been addressed openly in Nigeria to the extent that a Yoruba movie was produced for this issue to teach the society. Some people follow the rule of 1 out of 4 with SS and would not mind risking it BUT in so many cases like that of our family friend, they only have 2 children and unfortunatly, both are SS. I know it is tough to seperate when one is in love, but please do not let the love overshadow your future. Not only will your child suffer from endless pain, the parents will also suffer numerous days and nights of crisis and the fear of the unknown. Nothing is as tough as having to bury a child. There is another couple I know who are both AS and have 4 boys with AS genotypes. The wife has terminated 10 pregnancies between each child because they went through the blood test everytime she was 10 weeks pregnant. If the baby was SS, they would terminate. Can you imagine how they must have felt everytime she had to go through that stage?
It is avoidable so please be warned and Open Your Eyes, All the best.

Any where within the 4 walls of our home or room, This reminds me last year right before we moved into our new home, the pastor came to pray and after he left, we took the kids to grandma and spent the weekend in the house christening (u know what i mean) every single area of the house, It was a blast.

Never ever. There is no reason why any form of abuse should be acceptable. What happened to communicating to each other?

First time seeing them in the morning.

Both my knees on the floor in my yoruba dialect. Still do it till this day, even to my in-laws, I heard from a source that they were surprised (in a good way) the first time I greeted them like that. Even their daughter doesn't.

My older son is now 3.5yrs old, he greets us the same way by postrating and then we hug him and rub his head like lil monkey afterwards ( i remember my dad used to do that to my siblings and I too)

Personally I don't see anything wrong in my husband doing chores. We both work full-time and my mother in-law takes care of our children. Whoever gets home first makes dinner for both of us, most of the time he does and it does nto bother him. He helps out a lot and he knows that I don't wait for him to get things done either. It's not because we both work but because he feels like it is his duty to also do some work around the house.

When I had our first child, i tried being a stay at home mom for 6 months (got bored and dusted my portfolio back to workforce) even then, he always helped with the baby when he came home stating that taking care of a child is 2 full time jobs. I even had every other Friday to go out and pamper myself while he took care of the baby. I guess it depends on both people and their understanding. Here in the US it's not easy to get maid, u just have to work it out somehow.

Married for 4 years now, my husband never wears a ring, as a matter of fact, we didn't even shop for one for our wedding ceremony cos I knew he would never wear it. He does not wear any type of jewelry at all and so does his father. I think he has only bought 1 watch in his entire life and he is 34. He says he can use his cell phone to check out the time. It really does not matter to me. Some people cheat with or without the ring so it's not a guarantee. It would actually hurt me more if he we bought the ring and he only put it on when i was there and off when he was about socializing.

I actually bought him a gold and silver watch he can wear to church or outings which I have to physically hand it to him to put on. I don't see any need to request that he wears a ring. It's a matter of what you can take from your spouse (and that is one of them for me), there are other battles a marriage encounters and that will not be one I will waste my time over. As for me, i wear my 2karat diamond proudly which is enough to pay for both mine and his (if he had one). As a matter of fact, i noticed there are lots of ladies who actually prefer married men to single ones hence the go after the ringed men. That aside, it was never an issue and I personally wear enough jewelry for 2 so it makes up for it, lol

I have been married for 4 years now. While we were dating, I remember it took about 4 months before he would eat or request for my cooking. I noticed he is very conscious of what he eats, he never ate at parties, he would only drink juices or soda which he opened himself. He would actually cook and eat before attending any parties so he's not hungry. When I asked him about it he said his mum always did that for him and his sibligns while he was growing up (his sister does the same thing for her family). I would ask him to join me in the kitchen, we cooked together until he felt comfortable enough and he would ask me to cook something for him.
Some people are just like that, he now eats at parties but only if I actually dish the food or he serves himself. He will not take anything from anyone else. He says if I dish out the food then it's good enough to eat.

lol,

First of all, u don't seem to value your life. What happened with you using protection.

That aside, goodluck with your title. If you are lucky, you will get your wish or you may just be the new daddy in town in January 2009.

RichyBlacK:
Chronologically: 1. Career; 2. Marriage; 3. Children

In terms of effort, attention, focus, energy:
1. Marriage (your spouse comes before any other bullsh*t)
2. Children (your children will be negatively impacted if your marriage fails)
3. Career (important for financial stability but not necessary; people with no careers have been known to be financially stable; and people with solid careers have been known to become financially bankrupt!)

I agree.

My husband was there during the birth of both our children. We actually became even closer with the birth of our first child. Even though he couldn't handle seeing me in pain, he wanted to be there with me and at least experience a little bit of it. We laughed through the low times (no contractions) and screamed together during contraction. I heard some women actually cuss at their husbands during this time, but our's was nothing but encouragement (from him) and eagerness to see our son who is now 4 years old.

When I talk about it now, he can talk about it too because he was there. He even took some pics which we only share with each other. If I were a man though, I don't think I would be able to stand it. Especially knowing that I cannot help the person in pain.

@Poster,
I understand how you must feel. However, the fact that she informed you of aso-ebi, which you already have is an invite to me. If she didn't want you there, she wouldn't have mentioned it. Weddings are very stressfull and your friend might just have to many things on her mind. To her she may actually think that since you have the aso-ebi, that would count as an invite. Remember that "SAVE THE DATE reminder" is for those that already received the IV'S which she may have forgotten to add you to. Don't assume she doesn't want you there, if you know the venue, u can show up there with your gift or try to call reach her first just to make sure you do not need an IV to get in.
I have attended several weddings and parties like that, if I happen to already have the aso-ebi, I actually ask them to save the IV and send to someone else as long as they give me the location. Some will even give me the aso-ebi and tell me that is my invitation. With the aso-ebi, you are certainly not a party crasher but an invitee.

gibby:
some are now even reprograming atm machines and take advantage of it, in one case a man withdrew $50,000
but the machine foolishly deducted just $20,000 from his bank account, and the funniest thing is that he left the machine like that and it continued that way not until when one good samaritan woman who intended to withdraw $2000 but received $5000 she hurriedly check her account and found that $2000 has been withdrawn but she have on her $5000 she quickly reported to the bank before it was corrected you can imagine that though it is not in nigeria here but with the way the nigerians are advancing if nothing is done about it they may even do the worse

Are u sure, I thought the maximum you could withdraw for an ATM is between $600 and $1000. I've enver heard of that high amount being withdrawn from an ATM before,

@ topic

michelin89:
What concerns you with whom she decides to date when she is single?

Abeg and who do you want to get support from for smacking her? If I were her I'd have broken your head.

@ slimtoney,     Zero tolerance for any form of abuse. You had no right to do that ESPECIALLLY SINCE U WEREN'T TOGETHER. As michelin89 said, I am certainly not is your support group.

@ topic, some men adn woman are like that, I don't know why. However since this in reagrds to me, If some of those men that act as such are here, please answer the question. I would also like to know.

@ poster.
I would advice your friend stick to the new guy. An abusive relationship is not healthy for the kids. It will actually do more harm than good if she chooses to stay with her children's father. The best thing she can do is to forgive him of all he did to her but going back should not be an option. THERE IS NO REASON WHY A WOMAN OR MAN SHOULD STAY IN AN ABUSIVE REALATIONSHIP FOR THE SAKE OF THE KIDS. What she can do is to make sure to continue to keep in touch with her children. In time they will grow up and she will be able to explain to them why she didn't stay.

The most important thing is to pray about the situation and count on God to help her take the right step. I know they say "the devil you know is better than the one u don't" but I say, why stay with the devil anyways, just move on. She should make sure to stay in contact with her children, keep them in prayer and all will be well.

@ D-reloaded,
His excuse was that he was concerned that I would leave him. We had a discussion early In our relationship where I told him I could never marry a man with a child. Because my mum had a bad experience with my step-sister.

I had to deal with the baby mama drama when we were dating because she always showed up for one thing or the other or always needed him to come and "help out". We had a real discussion after that where I told him I was in the relationship for good and if he loved me, he would need to respect my feelings. I began to spend time with the child when she was over at his place, she even came to spend weekends with me if he had to work. Because of all the attention I was giving to the child, I was basically acting as mum when she was around, with her hair, dress and all ( u know how cute little girls are). We became a little family on our own, I asked him to get weekend custody of the child so we could spend time together (which meant he didn't have to go to the baby mama's house to see her). We would go together to the baby mama's house to pick the baby up on Friday's and take her back on Sundays. Trust me baby mama drama is not even an issue anymore and will never be by God's grace

My very first post/ new nairalander, Hello People

@ poster, I do understand where you are coming from. I have been in that very same situation and I had to choose.

First of, be happy that he told you early in your relationship. This means he is thinking about something long-term with you and still giving you a choice to either step back or accept him as is.

My advice would be.

1. Ask about the mother's, where she is, what she does and how often they talk.
2. Be aware of how involved he is in the child's life. If he cares for the child a lot, do not take that in a negative way, but a good potential for a future husband and father to ur children.
3. Are you prepared to love and care for the child like he were urs? If no, you need to end the relationship asap.

I am married to my best friend who happend to have a 3 month old at the time we met, he never told me until the child was 1. I thought about getting out of the relationship because I wanted to avoid the baby mama drama. But I'm glad I stayed, it's been 7yrs now, we are happily married and blessed with 2 other children. My husband never puts me in the position to be worried that he may be with the other woman. The most important thing is I love the child just like the other 2 I bore and no one outside of our family can tell the difference between all three children.

It does have it ups and downs but if you show genuine love towards the child, your relationship will never suffer. As a matter of fact, the child's father will love you more. Since your relationship is fairly new, give it some time but if you can't deal with the above, you need to cut it short asap before you even get involved in the child's life. If you love the guy, you have to love the child as it is also part of him.

Hope it works well. I'm glad I stayed.