₦airaland Forum

pc guru:
Not to poison the air.But can we really love.Cuz i don't see myself being emotional.Or maybe it's cuz i haven't felt it like that.So i don't really believe in things am yet to encounter or feel.Not saying it doesn't exist.But i don't believe in it.

I think we can, but I don't think happens often most people confuse convenience with love.  Loving someone for what they do for them and so on not for who they really are.  Most people wear  a mask anyway so you never see the real person until you dig a bit better and that can be difficult cause then you can uncover things you really probably would rather not know.   

Probably you haven't felt it yet, so its not something you believe in yet.  It may happen one day though a lot of what people call love is something they just use to manipulate each other. Love is built on mutual respect, that is a rare thing to find in most relationships as usually one party tries to use the emotions and love of the other person to control or manipulate the other, where mutual respect is present there is no need as noone infringes or abuses anyone so there is no need for control and manipulation.

ebila:
Yumi,u made a good point there.Fact is,u can actually learnt o love someone provided the person has certain values that u find appealing.But first,there gasto to be interest.U could know a person for long without really seing d person,but as soon as something just strikes(it could be a comment from that person or a gesture),u start taking note of dat person.And once u start developin' dat interest n d person turn out to be your kind person,u just kick off from there.But fact is,d person has t have qualities u find appealing.

thats true I suppose you could see inside their heart and it could touch your heart. See how good a character they really have and be attracted to that as you get to know them better.

german007:
who asked for the time apart, you or him,  or was it a mutual agreement?

Its a little bit complicated as noone really did but a series of events happened and communications got a bit tense.  Noone really asked for space or time apart.  Its just the last conversations were not so good and its been a week since they happened so its probably time to move on as it doesn't look like he wants us to fix it.  He has to be the one to break silence as he said some things which means he has to break it and he hasn't. So its time to move on I can't keep crying over the same man and the same problem. If he doesn't want us to sort it out, its better to leave it and move on with my life. I think I will be single for a while now, focus on myself a bit.

german007:
Believe me, The so-callled breaks are totally unecessary and dangerous.      I know so because im talking from experience. Love or no love everyman has his sexual needs and desires.     During the so-called break a man will spread his wings simply because he feels temporarily free and has the mentality of " a little fling wont do no harm" but trust me, that little temporary fling can turn to be disastrous and can cause problems when you two do get back together,



Women  on the other hand have a lot more self control.

I actually agree.  Well he hasn't called me and its been over a week since we last spoke on the phone and tommorrow it will be a week since he last sent me a text.  I think its time to move on.  I have a show this weekend to so I don't want this unsettling stuff hanging over my head when I perform. So its better i prepare mentally for singleness.

Thanks for your thoughts, supportive and objective comments everyone and for making me laugh at times even though the topic was a bit painful to talk about.  They were really helpful and supportive its been an emotional and difficult time so I really appreciate it. 

Rosabelle:
If youre a guy sure, but for women, it doesnt apply.
Ive noticed a guy might not have feelings for a girl at first, but he can grow to fall in love with her.
A woman, if a woman doesnt 'fall in love' with you the day she meets you, she can only 'grow to love' you, but will never be in love with you.
From experience

Your right. She will learn to tolerate you but she will never fall in love with you. I have noticed that too amongst my friends and myself.

tkb417:
kpele. . . he'll call you tonite
hold on to your fone

K I will hold onto it really tight and if don't ring, your prediction was wrong and I want a refund on the bad advice.

tkb417:
i agree 100%
if i love a babe and i dont get to speak to her in 2 weeks
then i'll probably jump on d plane and run to honolulu or one distant place cos i no go fit work

but pls read well o, i said if i love the person o

So I am waiting it out to see if he loves me or not.  If he doesn't speak to me soon then he doesn't really care and I should move on.  Thanks I will keep that in mind.

tkb417:
true talk but. . .
what about taking a break to clear the air and when the coast is clear, im sure the urge to be together will spring up once again.

but like you said, if its an irreparable damage/winding up, then i guess if they are both left on an isolated island, nothn good will come outta it

Life is too short really for long breaks. I think if you don't make up and speak within a week then whats the point really. If a man can go without speaking to you for a week then he really doesn't care about you.

when you meet the one that will accept and love you for who you really are. Not for some image or personna you have created. One that will accept you in any condition.

izeek:
yumi, i dont think who makes the move really matters.
like u said, u both made statements u shud not have.
so your calling him up, and apologising for saying those things have not made u less a person.

we only regret the things we dont do, and not the things we do.

Normally yes I would agree and I am never one to hold a grudge. However it is because of the specific things he said that he has to be the one to break the silence. As he said something very specific that means I cannot do it, it has to be him. If he hadn't made those two comments I could easily break it.

I think if someone asks you and you are in a relationship you should say that you are not married but you are in a relationship, or your not married but you are seeing someone. Lying is not just saying what something is or isn't its hiding information that would affect how the other person would act and whether or not they would get involved.

sussu:
i thnk, if a guy really luvs a woman, he shldnt just let her go without a fight, he shld do everythng possible 2 win back her heart, she may have a rethink; but wen go like; 'because i really luv u and wudnt want to hurt u again, so i think i should just move on with ma life', it gives the impression in d heart f d woman dt she was neva really luved in d 1st place and u knw wat, Nathin cud be more painful
So even if u think u shld let her go which seems beta 4 both parties, do so after some resistance hmmn

Thanks Sussu I totally agree. It should be after a good effort has been made and you have tried for a substantial length of time. I can't deal with lightweight men that run at the first problem what good is that, that man would not make a good life partner. How a man or woman handles the problems and sticks through them is a good indicator of the type of husband or wife they will make.

Basildon1:
Err,_{if i can add to this thread},While you might be right about him making the first move, If you guys have the sort of connection that best friends do have, then you could just pick up the phone,call him and tease him, i bet he'll still say he's sorry, breaking the ice could be daunting (not saying this should be regular basis o! )

No because of something he said in particular he has to do it. There is a reason for that. He knows it has to be him.

Ebonyeyes:
Now you know you have to spill the beans. Why are you considering going back? is he begging you to go back to him?

We had a special connection. From the first day we saw each other, he noticed me and I noticed him and we were like best friends. I have never felt that before with a man ever. Will see though cause he needs to put a bit of effort in. He wouldn't have to beg me only ask me as I feel the same and want to take him back. Its just we are not speaking right now and thats the difficulty who will break the silence as we said some things to each other that we shouldn't have. He has to break the silence though as it was him who started it. Pride and egos get in the way sometimes. So will see what is more prevalent his ego or how much he cares for me. Time will tell. If I don't hear from him after a period I will take it he is not going to fix and will move on.

lolest.

Am having a deep think about love and relationships. Am single at the moment though but am still contemplating whether to return to my ex or move on.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-324498.0.html

Some women get you back through nagging personally I prefer to deal with my man in other ways.  Either way tho you guys usually done something wrong for a woman to nag you.  So even tho I don't nag personally I still defend my sisters that do cause you probably drove them nuts at some point. 

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.


If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

Anonymous~

When I am in a relationship I always cook, its not a big deal for me. Its nice for a guy to cook sometimes too but it doesn't really bother me. I am used to cooking for myself one extra mouth won't make too much work cause I usually cook for a couple of days at a time anyway. No big deal.

I don't snoop I have found the funniest thing is you usually catch people out in lies when you are extra nice to them and accomodating.       Like by surprising them and volunteering to meet them somewhere they didn't invite you too just cause you want to spend time with them.   If a man was hiding his phone you would know something was up anyway no need to read the detail or if he is carrying it wherever he went.  These things have a way of coming out without even having to snoop.

If a man snoops on you then he probably has something to hide himself and is worrying if you are doing the same things he is.

omega25red:
if a man loves a woman sometimes the best thing to do is to let that woman go.

I feel like that is the easy way out. If they both love each other they should try and make an effort to fight for it right.

All the guys in the romance section of the forum saying slap a woman are not really promoting the right kind of image are they? Guess they are not bothered what the ladies here think. Oh well no matter anyway.

Got another one for the guys

1. Always answer your phone when I call (if you are in a business meeting I expect you to get back to me at the earliest opportunity within a couple of hours is good, next day or three days later is a no no)
2.  Don't ever ignore me I am too important in your life
3.  Don't spend more time with your friends than me otherwise you will be asking them for sex and they probably won't like it.     


Another one for ladies

1.  We won't nag you
2.  When there is a problem we expect you to take a proactive approach to resolving it if you don't you know where the kitchen is tell the fridge you are hungry and see if it cares.
3.  Don't sleep without making us orgasm first and don't leave the bedroom definitely without making us orgasm dat is just inpolite and makes you look useless and weak.

Khemmi:
@seeker,hw can u be sure,if your nt him.i was d one in d picture,so i knw exactly wat went on.am no kid,so i shuld knw when a guy likes me and if it shows.we were really close.it was obvious he had feelings 4me,i didnt need him2 say it,though he did indirectly.your a guy,so u shld knw these things.wen do u tel a gal u cherish her n dat u wud neva want her hurt or unhappy,wen does a gal bcom d first person u talk2in d mornin,n last at nite.wen does she bcom sumone u jst cal cos u wantd2hear her voice,wen do u tel a gal u want2 cum spend d weekend wit her,wen do u ask her out on a dinner date,whr your suposd2 be d cook,y wud u be hurt,show it n say it whn she says your feelings r not returned?y wud u want2speak2her every nw n den?y wud u tel your ex abt her,y wud almost evryone u work wit knw d gal your always on d phone wit?y wud u wish2stroke her hair n paint her nails.y wud u care if she had her manicure n pedicure on,wat haistyl she ad on,n wat clothes she as on?y wud u say a prayer4 her weneva u said one 4 urself?, y wud u feel insecure wheneva she's on a date?, y wud d woman u want2spend d rest of your life wit be pretty,intelgent,enterprising,homely, ?

Your right dear he led you on. He was acting like you and him were soul mates. Always communicating with you and you him thats what you do if you really like someone. You like to be close to the person and for them to feel your presence. Rather than talk to twenty people you hardly even know you focus on that one person more and have a deeper connection with them if they mean something to you.

tmoney11:
How are u so sure that this girl is virgin?

Now thats a good question