₦airaland Forum

Why would you do that.   

It's not for me once I been with someone I would have nothing romantically or sexually to do with any their friends.  The thought alone is quite nasty for me. Neither would I screw any of my friends boyfriends, I would feel sick to even think about it.

I liked most of them and agree.  Except the taking my girls out I dont expect my man to do that as most of my friends have boyfriends that can always want to pay for their ladies so thats not an issue.  I don't expect him to contribute financially to everything I do either sometimes I like to treat myself and sometimes he can treat me.  I don't mind hosting his friends thats a minor, laundry and cooking are minors too most guys can't cook food I would want to eat so if we are close physically I will definitely cook for him no problem.  Sex well I have quite a decent drive so its not a problem but sometimes I have needs to so he better not mind getting woken up occcasionally.   

Yep and if he doesn't contact me or call me frequently it won't be a very long relationship.

You will see a future with that person.  You will want to be around that person all the time.  You will want to make plans for the future with them and be in a stable relationship with them.  The negative things they do will hurt you. You will want to speak to them all the time, if you are separate due to misunderstandings you will feel like crying all the time.

Give to Ceasar what is Ceasar's - the bible

leye1234:
@poster, I have a lasting solution for you. PUSH the BITCH off the BRIDGE.

you need a hug or something, or a role model or something, or wait













you need
















you need , Jesus my friend.

CrazyMan:
Yea you have a point there; but you know that there women who enjoy playing with men's emotions note: I'm speaking from experience here.

You can meet a lady today and make known your feelings unto her; and the lady, instead of giving you a reasonable response, begins to dribble you around; and the more you get involved with her, the more heartbreak you bring upon yourself. For me, I'd rather keep those feelings to myself than tangle myself in such heartbreaking situation all in the name of love.

Thats true but you are never stupid for loving someone. You are a bit silly if you let them abuse you because you love them but not just for loving someone. Loving someone doesn't give them a licence or a right to abuse you, if they start abusing you, you leave and tell them why so they can change. Usually they will change and really regret it one day when they realised what they lost. Its better to try though than to live with regrets, usually you can tell a player and if she plays you then you end it.

I have learnt to love without accepting abuse its been a hard journey but you have to be strong and set clear boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn't.

[quote author=Dr. Lorenz link=topic=321722.msg4549632#msg4549632 date=1253035090]Point 1:
If there's a problem, what stops the woman from talking to the man about it? Are you saying women are not grown up? Perhaps you are, and that's why they nag in the first place. It's difficult because the woman does not see any reason to behave maturedly and [i]talk [/i]to the man, try to see why there's a problem in the first place and prolly fix it.[/quote]Usually they have and the man isn't listening refer to my earlier point.  Personally I don't nag and I tend to have chats if I am not happy about something.  The thing I can't stand though is if I am trying to be constructive and a man ignores me as when he ignores me it is saying to me he doesn't want to speak to me, therefore he doesn't want to see me.

Point 2:
An irresonsible man wouldn't ignore her, but rather hit her (at least that's what i believe). A responsible man knows that even if he hits her, it doesn't guarantee  that she'll stop nagging (it doesn't apply to all women as we both know). So the issue of 'taking responsibility' in relationships actually goes beyond trying to talk to a nagging woman.

if a man hits a woman he has lost control of the situation and himself.   He has also lost all respect from his woman. Not a good thing.

Point 3:
You say it's [i]always [/i]the woman doing the nagging to prevent a break up? So the man doesn't try to prevent a break up too? From your post, am tempted to think that you believe most, if not all problems in relationships is the man's fault (with emphasis on 'tempted to believe').

 Remember we women are always right

Point 4:
Just as you don't believe in nagging (congrats to you), so do i. I personally believe that a woman must be able to get through to a man she's in a relationship with. If she can't, then i don't really see a 'relationship' there. Now, am not saying that men are not to be blamed sometimes, but you have to realize that more often than not, the 'problem' wasn't really a problem at all if they took the time to sit down and talk and not nag.

In conclusion to the above points, sometimes, when it comes to nagging, there are so many different reasons for it. If the man and the woman cannot sit down and talk about it, then perhaps the love has gone cold. If things go on and on like that and it becomes worse, it gets to a point where it'd be 'too late to apologize'.  

Thats fine but when a man ignores problems, he can only expect the woman to nag him and the relationship to fall to bits.  If you share your body with someone you should be willing to listen to them sometimes and work through the issues.  If not don't sleep with them or be in a relationship with them my viewpoint, then noone will nag you.  Simple.

omega25red:
if a man loves a woman sometimes the best thing to do is to let that woman go.

When you have physically made love to the person, when you have shared real intimacy together and you know in your heart this person is right for you, you have to just fix up and hold on.  If not you might reject the best thing you ever found in your life.

Maybe

CrazyMan:
Yumi you're absolutely right;

but I would like to add option B. If the girl maintains her stance that she doesn't want to see him, it would be advisable for him to look for love elsewhere.

There's no point trying to make her love you when deep down she sees you as past tense.

I can see what you are saying but when you really love someone you never see them as past tense. If she maintains that it may be she doesn't want to cry in public and embarass everyone including herself when she sees him. Depends on how hurt she is.

Sometimes you have to take a gamble cause if you don't you will regret it and wonder what if for the rest of your life.  Its better you gamble and you know then its clear and there is no regrets.

I definitely respect a man more who puts in an effort and who can stand up for one he loves than a man who doesn't even if it doesn't pay off the woman will respect that you made an effort and who knows she might be feeling unsure about the mans feelings too and not know what he really wants. She might not want to push herself onto him or be forceful I think men should always lead in these things. It just feels right somehow.

I think maybe its a bit of both. There has to be a bit of chemistry for it to work but you should also have similar values also for it to work in the long term. If you have similar values and respect that love grows deeper and deeper and if you don't they upset you and you lose respect for them so it diminishes you will lose respect for the guy and three years later once the chemicals in your brain wear off from lust, you think how could I have gone out with him.

Even if she refuses to see him and doesn't speak to him anymore cause he hurt her. If he loves her he will try to put things right again and if he really loved her he wouldn't let her go?

CrazyMan:
If you know you love your future, better stay away from him and shun his gifts. His married; so no matter how much fetish things he gives to you, you should know that you would never become his wife.

My advise is this: instead of wasting valuable time with him while your biological block ticks away, look for a responsible single man would would be willing to walk you down the aisle.

Exactly Crazyman you hit the nail on the head.

This is just wrong on every level. Women should not accept gifts from men other than family members or their boyfriend.

What do you think?

http://www.psychologies.co.uk/Couples-sex/Getting-together/Falling-in-love/Can-you-learn-to-love-anyone

You should stop accepting gifts from him. Maybe move on with your life. If he's married to you how would you feel. Whatever you do always comes back on you, thats not good karma right there, one day you will be married to.

Yeah if a man cheats on you technically according to the bible you can leave him. You just have to catch him first remember thats your 'Get out of jail free card' right there. So just like become really good at spying on him and your set. Don't confront him though till you get the hard stuff that confirms it. Then you are free.

Sorry it sounds nuts just move on.  She doesn't deserve you.  Maybe one of the nice ladies here will see your photo and think your cute and go out with you.  I still have feelings for someone so I can't even look at another man so am deliberately not looking at ur photo.  I am sure a nice lady is free though and might like your photo.

I think your life partner should be your best friend,  so personally I think it can work and its a good idea.  From now on I am only going to see people I have been friends with for a period of time first. However I wouldn't do it with a friend I have had for years unless I was sure it was going to work.

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=323399.msg4543044#msg4543044 date=1252951625]@Yumi
Where u say u dey? No be club? The place of flashy tins? LoL[/quote]it day tru dat u day talk. I day get dragged thru by my friend a few times. I no fe see club often tho i day beg. No fe be my taste of adventure and hang out joint.

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=323399.msg4542937#msg4542937 date=1252950467]Ah yuh in every twelve. . .[/quote]Am very wary of men that throw money at me. I have had people I don't even know approaching me in clubs and giving me their car keys. Money doesn't maketh the man or impress me. I hate flashy guys cause they usually hide a lot of money issues behind them and if they think they can buy women they don't really respect woman.

platinumnk:
Yumi you are so intelligent. I agree with your posts.

Do women date in order to find someone to take care of them, yes they may need help at times , that is understandable, but their own responsiblities ?? hell no!

And yes having your own $$ makes u see way clearer to bull$h!t.

Thanks Platinum you are making me feel shy now.

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=323399.msg4542108#msg4542108 date=1252943349]Am not advocating for a lady to be 'dependant' on a man what I say is don't refrain from asking cos u tink it makes u weak. What is the point of a relationship wen I can't do for u n u for me?[/quote]True but some guys dont see it that way if they pay for things they feel like you are their property and they can treat you like crap.

I don't really think these are reasons to leave someone or not see a future with someone. Unless he is violent, his son is not a problem at all but the quick tempered bit you will have to work on. If he is 80% what you want try to keep him and work it through.

y me:
it would be better if he let his true feelings known to her
that there was no love from day one
that way the girl wouldnt stress herself too much

I agree cause its not big deal to her if he didn't really like her.  Another man will be dying for her somewhere else and telling her for him she is the world and boosting her confidence and trying to chase her,  so she really won't feel bad if he didn't feel for her, she will just know he wasn't a really nice or honest person.

y me:
the damage has been done
both of them were wrong,but there is nothing they can do about it than to call it quit

Well she wasn't wrong if she really liked him it was him that used her. He should apologise and let her move on in peace at least then she will respect his honesty. If not she will really feel hurt by it all and it will cause her more pain.

izeek:
look i just think its hardly out of place for her to ask.
my only problem wud be her asking you like its your responsiblilty to cater for her upkeep.
even if your wife earns 50 000$ a month, i still se it as a thing of pride to provide for some of her basic needs.

See its not a problem if you put it that way as something you feel you want to do.  I just don't like when men use money like a power weapon though.  If my man took care of a few basic things cause he really wanted to I would maybe allow him to, but I would never depend on him to do so cause thats where compromises and weaknesses begin.

Maybe she had sex cause she thought there was love there and that the guy really liked her. So that means he used her if he didn't make this clear from the beginning.