₦airaland Forum

TOUCH NOT MY ANOINTED...A PHRASE USED BY 'JIBITI' PASTORS
by Oluwatoba Omidele / letusreasontogether.com

As one from a Christian background, I remember vividly during my childhood days in my hometown, Ijebu-Ife, how the real men of God are behaving then. I call them real men of God because they impacted lots of moral, discipline, love, care, spiritual growth on all the people they came in contact with. Men of God like Rev. J.O. Akinyemi (Retired) of Anglican Church. Rev. Ajetunmobi (Retired) of Baptist Church. Pastor Dopemu (Retired) of Apostolic Church.

These men of God are just too good to compare, they are what you can call men of the people, they will visit every home immediately after morning devotion to pray for all, either you are a Muslim, Christian, Traditional worshipers, or a free thinker. They encourage you to excel, collected college forms for the youths, they play a role of a Pastor, Social worker and counselor all together. I can say without minimizing my words these men (Akinyemi, Ajetunmobi and Dopemu) are few among the men of God we can use the statement ‘’touch not my anointed’’ for.

Of recent, especially in Nigeria, things have taking another dimension. Poverty and political situations have turned the majority of the people to seek God at all cost. Everybody is looking for miracles and spiritual help. They want to be saved, they want break-through, they want good job, good wife, good husband, etc. Hence, this makes it easy for every Tom, Dick and Harry to see an avenue of making money...they become emergency PASTORS with the help of whatever means.......all in the name of miracle.

Anytime you comment against any of the so called Pastors, you will incur the wrath of his followers, as if to say the man in question is God. ‘’Why have we suddenly assumed and believed that defending our pastors mean defending God? Who told us that when our pastors fall God will fall? Are we mad or are we just spiritually insane? Our Christianity is no longer about God, it has since become about pastors and our church’s brand. We are more obsessed with what people perceive of our church’s reality than what God cares about. Even the most seemingly independent-minded among us lose their ability to rationalize anything, as long as it is about defending these pastors and their increasingly wayward ways. In our usual way, we misinterpret the Bible for our end, saying for instance “touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm.” I leave you with this. What does it really mean when it says not to touch the anointed?’’(Japhet Omojuwa)

From the above statements, you will see the way our people behave by putting pastors above board, beyond question and their actions protected inside our common ignorance of God’s word. And it shows that people continue to perish for lack of knowledge. As the Bible says: My people perish because they lack knowledge. If at all, they don’t have much knowledge, they should make use of the little they have.

Men of God

At the presence of Bishop David Oyedepo, some days ago, two journalists attached to Ogun State Television. Peter Falomo, a reporter, and Lekan Egunjobi, a cameraman who were on duty were assaulted by the pastors working under Oyedepo. Are these pastor working for God?

Oyedepo’s diary of controversies reads like a rap sheet. It was the same Oyedepo that slapped another man’s wife in public, claiming she was a witch!!! Who is Oyedepo to call someone a witch on public television? If Oyedepo is God, none of us will exist again, including Oyedepo himself.

In the Newswatch edition of 7 July 2010, it detailed his alleged ill-treatment of three pastors of his church–Akah Ikenna (Benin), Ifeakwachukwu Sunday (Asaba) and Dick Abiye (Port Harcourt) who were involved in auto crashes that left them with disabilities. According to the magazine, the pastors, who earned N45,000 monthly, were on official assignment for Winners’ Chapel when the separate accidents occurred.

Sunday, ordained a pastor of the church in 2001, was serving at Umunede, Delta State, when the accident occurred. One of his legs broke into two and he also suffered severe pelvic dislocations. At a hospital in Benin, Edo State, he underwent several surgeries, including one through which steel braces were inserted into the leg and the pelvis. He was then discharged and asked to come back for a second operation to remove the objects. But, as he claimed, the church abandoned him at the hospital in Benin, “but through the help of some brethren, I came back to my station”, bed-ridden.

Sunday was redeployed to the church’s district office at Asaba. But he got another letter the same day terminating his appointment. He went to the headquarters to appeal to Oyedepo for a re-consideration of his case. “Luckily, I met Oyedepo himself as he was coming out from the church. After I had introduced myself, he asked me what I wanted. I told him I needed money for the operation to remove the metals from my body. He then directed me to one Ndubuisi, who was then the secretary. Ndubuisi asked me what it would cost and I told him I did not know till we meet the doctors. He then asked me to go and do so and get back to them. When I got the documents from the doctors, I went and submitted them to him, but the church never acted on them.”

Desperate, Sunday said he wrote to Oyedepo on 12 August 2009: “I had written a series of letters to you, attached with the medical bill (N230,000) for my surgery, but all to no avail. I believe the letters did not get to you. From the time I was relieved of my service to the church, it has not been easy for me, following pains from the injury. Now, I cannot stand for a period of three minutes, not alone walk. I solicit for your fatherly care. I have nowhere else to turn to but this organisation I once belonged to.”

He never got a response and claimed not have been paid his entitlements. Sunday resigned to fate. So did Abiye, his colleague. But Ikenna, the third pastor, hired Lagos-based lawyer, Festus Keyamo and went to court. They won the case at the Ota High Court. But Oyedepo and his church headed to the Appeal Court, where the case has remained since 2009.

The church’s spokesmen denied that they were abandoned. In a statement, the church said: “They were not abandoned. They were treated on moral grounds and in demonstration of good Christian character. The church (Winners’ Chapel) has the right to review its workers’ performances and release from service any staff it feels his or her services are no longer needed.” It was in the 11 November 2011 edition of Newswatch that Oyedepo publicly commented on the issue. “I almost cursed them (i.e. the three pastors). If there is any case that is serious to take to the court, you go to the court and lawyers will take charge,” he said.

When Nasir el-Rufai made a comment about Pastor Ayo Orisejafor’s jet, people stood to defend the pastor, without looking inward and digest within themselves what was the real economic implication of this jet.

“Look Nasir, withdraw those statements you are making against a man of God! But, if you still insist, then, the anointing upon his life will respond to you drastically. Remember that a man who makes trouble for others is also making trouble for himself. Thank you,” one Okechukwu Chukwuemeka wrote. You will see from this man's response that he fears Pastor Orisejafor more than God.

Augustine Oregie-Okpomeh wrote, “In the first place, what are pastors doing with private jets worth billions of naira in a country where a large percentage of your members can ill afford three-square meals daily? Christ never preached expensive lifestyles and neglect of the poor while He was alive. You (Oritsejafor) called the insults to yourself." From Augustine's response you will see logical thinking in it. It is better for our people not to allow the phrase ‘touch not my anointed’ to becloud us.

Isaac Owusu Bempah, Ghanaian Bishop Founder and Leader of the Glorious Word Power Ministries International, has labelled two of Nigeria’s celebrated pastors, Dr. Christian Oyakhilome (popularly known as “Pastor Chris”) and General Overseer of The Synagogue Church of All Nations (SCOAN), Prophet Temitope Balogun (aka TB) Joshua ‘’as partners in winning souls for the devil.’’ Since the time he made this statement, I am yet to see any comment about it!!! Maybe because the man who made this statement is also a man of God.

Take the confession of Juliet Ezeonye Idu who was once a follower of Lazarus Muoka, the General Overseer of the Lord’s Chosen Charismatic Renewal Mission. She accused him of employing all sort of devilish acts to con his followers and deceive the people with all sort of staged miracles. She also accused him of using fetishes to acquire wealth in controversial circumstances which are still fresh in the memories of a lot of people. But some will see her statement as blasphemy because she dared to speak up.

A case between the senior pastor of an Abuja based Pastor, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA over his love affair with his female member, Ese Walter is yet to clear from the ground, but the members who know the truth are just keeping mum.

The Bible says you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

So why not free yourself and seek the truth?

Related article:

"Touch not my anointed” is a popular argument amongst Christian adherents – especially of Pentecostal persuasion – every time someone threatens the bubble of invincibility built around their spiritual leaders."

Read more at: http://omideletoba..com/2013/08/touch-not-my-anointedby-tolu-ogunlase.html

ghananotnaija: Knowing how the vast majority of Nigerians are spineless, superstitious, and reluctant to engage any critical thinking whatsoever, TB Joshua will not be found guilty of anything, and will make more money than ever before through SCOAN which will flourish as before. SMH for humanity.

Are you serious?!

Is making money the goal of a supposedly Bible-believing pastor?

Exactly what IS the goal of a truly Bible-believing pastor?

Better yet...what is YOUR definition of a 'PASTOR'?

50pseamer: My Brother the question is if we focus on this, are we ourselves any better, pastors are also humans like us so its no big deal, they can be tempted and they can make mistakes too, not to forget that there are genuine and fake pastors just like there are decent and irresponsible ordinary followers too.

Why not focus on those that play on you?

Pastors like this are exploiting you as Africans/Nigerians. They consider you backwards, ignorant fools, ripe for the picking!

THEY ARE USING YOU!

They are using the same tactics on you they use on Americans.

Where do you think these jackals learned their lessons?

From American jackals - of all colors.

Wake up!!!

Unlike, here, in America, there is no one - no governmental entity - no law enforcement agencies to protect you. You are like babes in the woods. You're innocents, in the face of greedy jackals. You think they don't know that? They are quick learners. They know which way the wind blows. They know that most of you haven't read the Bible front to back, let alone understand it. Hell, most of them don't. Yet, you blindly follow them and worship them like demigods.

Why do you think these jackals look toward Africa with greedy eyes?

Africa is ripe for exploitation.

These jackals know that the mess they pull in Africa will not be tolerated, here in America, once some disgruntled Christians contact the Attorney General of their particular state and lodge a complaint about fake miracles, being duped or being defrauded.

STAND UP!

RAISE YOUR VOICE!

STOP LETTING THESE GREEDY JACKALS DUPE YOU!

Debbiemma: wat have u gained in this?u should neva speak against a man of God

My Dear:

You should never hesitate to speak against a "man of God" who is not walking the "Jesus Walk" (all things good, moral and charitable).

Every human being is born with a moral compass - a sense of right or wrong. Down deep, you know that something is not right about a pastor who is living in the lap of luxury, while you are living in poverty and want...yet you blindly give over your little money to him or her.

Why?

Did Jesus live in the lap of luxury?

NO!

Was that His message to believers?

NO!

YOU ARE BEING EXPLOITED AND USED!

These greedy jackals disguised as pastors are using you.

Some Nigerian/African pastors are well aware that most of their members are ignorant of the Bible and, therefore, provide fertile ground for exploitation or for any other reason.

Where did they learn to manipulate the masses with religion?

America.

By whom?

American Missionaries and Pastors.

How did they do it?

They were crafty.

They interspersed evangelistic fire and brimstone theology with common African superstitions and beliefs and found success with African peoples.

Take note!

Question everything.

"Bribery and extortion are major problems in journalism, particularly in developing countries, according to a new report released by the Center for International Media Assistance (CIMA). According to the report, "Cash for Coverage: Bribery of Journalists Around the World," journalists are guilty of taking bribes at press conferences, running fake press releases for cash and accepting payment from politicians. The report says this problem should be fought by nurturing media accountability, reviewing pay policies for journalists and encouraging zero tolerance."

Read more at: http://cima.ned.org/sites/default/files/CIMA-Bribery_of_Journalists-Report.pdf

nora544: Sorry that is not tru, because in the most europa countries jounalist write what they want.

That is in nigeria but not in america I can remember so many politicans have problems when their real face came out because some jounalist make a reaserch on them.

Also canditates who want to become president of america.

Very true.

The last thing politicians, pastors, etc. want is their undercover activities exposed to the public.

Btw...it is common for journalists to pay their sources, just like cops pay their informers (rats).

muzeze77: We have a duty to change Nigeria.

How long do we live in abject poverty when the so-called "Men of god" are riding in private jets and sleeping with beautiful women
It is important to note that Reverend Martin L King was a real man of God, he did not have Jet, he fought against Injustice. How many of your so-called Man of god have fought for the poor.

Let him who calls himself "Man of god" and who believe he can do miracles go to sambisa forest to preach to Boko Haram

FYI..."Dr." Martin Luther King lived a double life.

http://beyondbabylon..com/2010/01/dr-martin-luther-king-lived-double-life.html
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/tim-graham/2013/08/25/flashback-bryant-gumbel-insists-mlks-adultery-should-be-censored-print-l
http://www.ibtimes.com/martin-luther-king-cheated-his-wife-other-lesser-known-facts-about-civil-rights-leader-mlk-day

moshoodn: The Pope is said to be infallible.

The Pope is a man and by his very nature fallible, regardless of popular opinion.

Are these examples of Prophets of God?

*Pastor Cited For Massive Fraud

The police have mounted a search for Dr. Prince Tetteh, purported co-founder of the London-based Worldwide Miracle Outreach Church (WMO), who is alleged to have been involved in numerous fraudulent activities. Dr. Tetteh, said to be the younger brother of Reverend Dr. Lawrence Tetteh, a renowned evangelist, is alleged to have defrauded about 110 persons of various sums of money to the tune of GH¢102,150 under the pretext of sending them to London to work in a construction company.

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/541325/1/pastor-cited-for-massive-fraud.html __________________________________________________________________
*Christ Apostolic Church Pastors To Face Prosecution For Fraud Charges

A Oyo State High Court ruled that a former President of the Christ Apostolic Church, Elijah Oluseye, and others, must answer for fraud charges brought up against them. This decision was reached on September 19, 2013, Thursday.

Read more at: http://nigeriana.org/blog/38394.html
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*Pastor Henry Uhunmwagho Arraigned By EFCC Over American Visa Scam

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC on Monday, November12, 2012, arraigned Pastor Henry Uhunmwagho, 33, before Justice P.I. Ajoku of the Federal High Court 2 sitting in Benin City, Edo State on a nine count charge bordering on obtaining money under false pretence.

Read more at: http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/news/top-stories/213507-pastor-henry-uhunmwagho-arraigned-by-efcc-over-american-visa-scam.html
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*Lucy Adeniji: UK-Based Nigerian Pastor Facing Eleven Years For Child Trafficking

An ‘evil’ church pastor brought children from Nigeria to work as slaves for her family. Lucy Adeniji, 45, forced her victims to toil for up to 21 hours a day – washing, cooking, cleaning her five-bedroom home and caring for her five children.

Read more at: http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/headline/84830-Lucy-Adeniji-Based-Nigerian-Pastor-facing-Eleven-years-for-child-trafficking.html
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*Eric Abakporo, US-Based Deeper Life Church Pastor Arrested By FBI For $1.8 million Mortgage Scam

Operatives of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) have arrested a US-based Nigerian pastor and lawyer, Eric Abakporo over reports linking him and one Latanya Pierce to despicable fraud and the theft of the life savings of an elderly African-American woman(Names withheld by FBI) through deceit and lies.

Read more at: http://www.nigerianeye.com/2012/05/eric-abakporo-deeper-life-church-pastor.html ________________________________________________________________________
*PASTOR CHARGED WITH FRAUD, ROBBERY WITH VIOLENCE

Eldoret, Kenya: A pastor was on Wednesday charged before an Eldoret court with 14 counts of criminal offences. Christopher Kibet Ngelechei, a pastor with the Seventh Day Adventist (SDA) Church, was accused of robbery with violence and defrauding a bank.

Read more at: http://diasporamessenger.com/pastor-charged-with-fraud-robbery-with-violence/ _______________________________________________________________________
*Nigerian-born UK-based pastor charged with s-x offences, pleads guilty

Dr. Albert Odulele, 47, head pastor of London-based evangelical church, Glory House International, with 3,000 congregation members has been charged with indecent assault on a child under 16. Pastor Odulele initially denied any wrong doing but has since pleaded guilty to assaulting a boy aged 14, and a 21year old man, former members of his congregation.

Read more at:

http://lindaikeji..com/2011/03/nigerian-born-uk-based-pastor-charged.html
http://hinterlandgazette.com/2011/03/london-based-pastor-albert-odulele.html
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*UK based Zimbabwean pastor arrested over sexual offences

Dr. Walter Masocha, the leader and founder of Agape For All Nations Ministries International was arrested last night at his Cosyneuk mansion in Scotland charged with multiple sexual offences and is due to appear in court on Monday the 3rd of February.

Read more at: http://zimkasi.com/index-id-News-zk-19093.html
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*UK Sets Terms for Extradition of UK-Based Pastor Gilbert Deya, Charged with Child Trafficking in Kenya

The United Kingdom will extradite self-proclaimed miracle evangelist Gilbert Deya on the condition that he is held at either of the two Kenyan maximum prisons.

Read more at: http://www.mwakilishi.com/content/articles/2014/02/14/uk-sets-terms-for-extradition-of-uk-based-pastor-gilbert-deya.html
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*GHANA: Prophet Arrested Over Fake Miracles

The founder and leader of Believer’s Faith Chapel at Gbawe in Accra, ProphSaveet Michael Boateng was arrested by the Sowutuom Police last week for deceiving people with fake miracles. Prophet Boateng was alleged to have contracted and paid two young ladies to make appearance at his healing revival at the Grace and Light Chapel at Awoshie A-Lang in Accra where he was invited to minister at a week-long revival programme.

Read more at: http://clergygonewild.com/thefts/39-fraud/2158-ghana-prophet-arrested-over-fake-miracles ________________________________________________________________________
*Matthew Ashimolowo, UK Based Nigerian Pastor's Alleged Crimes

"...after the discovery in 2005 by Charity Commission investigators of financial irregularities. Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo was ordered to repay £200,000 after it emerged he used church assets to buy a £13,000 Florida timeshare and £120,000 on his birthday celebrations, including £80,000 on a car."

Read more at: http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/headline/145957-matthew-ashimolowo-uk-based-nigerian-pastor039s-alleged-crimes.html ________________________________________________________________________
*Nigerian Pastor Arrested For Alleged Fake Currency Printing!

The Kogi State Command of the department of State Security Service has arrested a clergyman, Reverend Godson Akubuiro, his children and 15 man syndicate for printing and circulation of fake Naira notes.

Read more at: http://rovinginformant..com/2014/01/nigerian-pastor-arrested-for-alleged.html ________________________________________________________________________
*Samuel Kayode, Nigerian Pastor In UK Commits The Biggest Education Fraud In UK History

An accountant at a chain of academies championed by Michael Gove is at the centre of a fraud investigation after £4million of school funds ended up in his personal accounts.

Read more at: http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/headline/365802-samuel-kayode-nigerian-pastor-in-uk-commits-the-biggest-education-fraud-in-uk-history.html
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*Gay Pastor Jailed For Indecency With Male Church Members

Pastor Phillip Ogbebor, the Founder and General Overseer of a Penecostal church in Benin City is now an unusual inmate at the federal medium security prison, Oko after a magistrate ordered he be remanded for having s-x with male members of his church.

Read more at: http://naijagists.com/nigerian-gay-pastor-jailed-for-having-sex-with-male-church-members-in-benin-city/
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*NIGERIA: Deeper Life Pastor Arrested, Arraigned For Duping Church Member

Men of the Nigeria Police Force in Lagos have arrested and arraigned a pastor of the Deeper Life Bible Church, Festus Agim, for duping one of his church members, Mr. [B]Chibuike Ikegwuonu[/B], of N1m. Pastor Festus, 45, was charged before Agbomalu Magistrate’s Court, Ajegunle, Lagos, with three counts of felony, stealing and duping Mr. Chibuike of the money under the guise of investing it.

Read more at: http://clergygonewild.com/thefts/39-fraud/1525-nigeria-deeper-life-pastor-arrested-arraigned-for-duping-church-member ________________________________________________________________________
*GHANA: Prophet Hides In Ceiling

Prophet Daniel Yaw Nkansah of the New Vision Pentecostal Church who has been on the police wanted list for fraud was on Tuesday March 6, arrested at his residence amidst drama. The prophet, a 2008 presidential aspirant for the New Vision Party he founded, allegedly climbed into the ceiling of his bedroom to resist arrest.

Read more at: http://clergygonewild.com/thefts/39-fraud/1521-ghana-prophet-hides-in-ceiling ________________________________________________________________________
*Pastor Christopher Iruke Sentenced To 15 Years for $14.2 Million Medicare Fraud Scheme

Christopher Iruke was convicted in August -- along with his wife, Connie Ikpoh, and one of their employees, Aura Marroquin -- of conspiracy and health care fraud. At the time, the two were both pastors at a now-defunct Los Angeles church, the Arms of Grace Christian Church. Ikpoh also worked as a nurse at Southern California hospitals. They ran one of their fraudulent companies, Pascon Medical Supply, from the church. Another -- Horizon Medical Equipment -- was owned by Ikpoh.

Read more at: http://news2.onlinenigeria.com/news/top-stories/132782-connie-ikpoh-and-pastor-husband-in-a-14-2-million-medicare-fraud-scheme.html
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*NIGERIA: Pastor docked over N1.6m fraud

A 37-year-old pastor, Joseph Olukaiyeja, was arraigned in Lagos, last Friday, for allegedly obtaining N1.6 million from two brothers, under false pretence. Olukaiyeja was docked at an Ejigbo Magistrates‘ Court on a five-count charge bordering on conspiracy, fraud and stealing.

Read more at: http://clergygonewild.com/thefts/39-fraud/1321-nigeria-pastor-docked-over-n16m-fraud- ___________________________________________________________________
NAMIBIA: Pastor in court over N$700 000
Former preacher of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in the Republic of Namibia (ELCRN), Sem Japhet (32), and a fellow worshipper, Eunice Nakapunda (66), made a first court appearance on 15 charges of fraud, alternatively theft, and one count of theft.
Read more at: http://clergygonewild.com/thefts/39-fraud/1155-namibia-pastor-in-court-over-n700-000 ________________________________________________________________________
*GHANA: Pastor And His Brother Arrested For Fraud

HEAD PASTOR of the World Power Gospel Ministry at Nungua, a suburb of Tema, is in the firm grips of the Sakumono District Police Command for allegedly forging documents of the Registrar General's Department and claiming to have been contracted to register companies and shops within Tema.

Read more at: http://www.modernghana.com/news/343975/1/pastor-arrested-for-fraud.html


Btw...self-serving jackals and their pack-mates can stand on their hind legs and bay at the moon all they want but, eventually, they will be sniffed out and their scat exposed...it's only a matter of time.

When Christians engage in culture wars, theology can quickly transform into bigotry, and the gospel of Christ is often abandoned for a spirit of hatred, bitterness and judgmental accusations.

As the Supreme Court tackles the issue of same-sex marriage, many Christians are being labeled as bigots, but what exactly is Christian bigotry?

Here are some defining characteristics:

Bigots Fear Change: Christian Bigots hate change and see it as an attack on their beliefs. Since their Bible is inerrant and their God is unchanging, new ideas are dangerous and subversive to their perfect theology. Perfection cannot be improved upon, so any variation or contradiction is perceived as absurd. Bigots hate discovery, creativity is often prohibited, and new ideas are threatening to their way of life.
Historically, this is why many Christians were shamefully ignorant and simply wrong when it came to addressing slavery, fighting for civil rights, addressing the Holocaust, recognizing genocide, and combating AIDS (just to name a few).

Bigots Are Often (But Not Always) Privileged: Change is hard to accept when things are working in your favor. As the common expression goes: “Why change a good thing?” Any theology, idea or sermon that challenges people to sacrifice or reach beyond their comfort zones isn’t easily accepted. Bigots defend their position so passionately because the greatest beneficiaries of their worldview are themselves. But when people are persecuted, abandoned, ignored or powerless, their perspective changes and becomes open to different paradigms. These new paradigms are invisible and seem illogical to those that live in comfort and authority.

Bigots Crave Power: Bigots want control, and they view their faith as a war of attrition. They use battle terminology to describe the gospel and prefer to preach, yell and shout instead of listen, discuss and learn. They use proclamations filled with absolutes and flood Facebook pages with dubious links and articles that promote their agendas. They declare statements instead of asking questions and refuse to engage in meaningful dialogue. They prefer political might over spiritual strength, legal enforcement over personal choice, conscription over evangelism, punishment over grace, fear over hope, and control over love. In extreme cases, even violence and aggression is viewed as a necessary means of gaining power.

The Future is Scary: Christian Bigots believe that the Apocalypse is going to happen sooner rather than later—possibly tomorrow. They assume people are becoming more depraved every passing minute. The Gays, Liberals and Abortionists are ruining the world, and every single negative news event is proof that God is judging the world and that The End is near. Repent! Turn from your sins! Bigots shout the Gospel as a somber warning call from God that foresees a future full of doom and gloom and destruction. The Bible isn’t a message of hope, joy and redemption, but a weapon used to strike fear into anyone who doesn’t wholeheartedly agree with their theologies and belief systems.

The Past was Beautiful: As bad as the future is, the past was practically perfect. If only American Christians could travel back in time when they were the predominant majority, when they could issue moral decrees and control the social and political institutions of the day. Bigots love to tarnish the current (and future) reputation of humanity by comparing it to the past. But again, their past isn’t reality, and it’s a revisionist history that has been glossed over by misconceptions, ignorance and prideful assumptions. Bigots lack humility, and they refuse to admit they were ever wrong. They forget—or refuse to admit—that many aspects of the past were worse than the present. Not only did Christians ruthlessly kill and torture in the name of God, but where was the Church when children were being molested, millions were being persecuted and killed, unfair taxes were bankrupting entire communities, and Christians consistently turned a blind eye to injustice, the poor, and those who were in desperate need of help? These past sins of Christianity don’t exist for Bigots. Their words, actions and lives are skewed by a misguided sense of self-righteousness and virtue. They hold the moral high ground while everyone else is simply wrong.

Bigots are Exclusive: Bigots have an Us vs. Them mentality and believe that only those who strictly agree with their beliefs can be true believers, the rest of humanity is being manipulated by Satan. If you question this line of reasoning you’ll quickly be labeled a “heretic,” a word that Bigots love to attach to anyone challenging their thinking. For Christian Bigots, the Bible is a message of selectiveness, a narrow path that few will follow. They see themselves as being privy to a special revelation that has been given only to them and the select few who religiously adhere to the strict rules, practices and traditions that are required to uphold such holy doctrines. They view God as having a love that is exclusive rather than inclusive.

Bigots Have the Answers: For Bigots, the concept of “the mystery of God” is a direct threat to their ideologies. Therefore, almost every situation and question has an answer and explanation. Everything is black and white—nothing is gray. And while society shifts and creates moral questions that are harder and harder to answer, instead of humble reflection, Bigots simply rework and evolve their answers to remain true to their original beliefs—no matter how complicated, confusing or ridiculous the answers are. To them, any answer is better than not having an answer at all, which they view as a sign of extreme weakness and stupidity.

Bigots are Aggressive, Vengeful and Cruel: Since Bigots self-righteously believe to be correct in all matters, they’re obnoxiously rude, mean and hurtful when communicating with others. Their self-perception as being morally superior creates an attitude of disdain for those they view as sinners, challengers and outsiders. Bigots are the people who get on TV and explain that natural disasters are the direct result of a specific group of people’s sins. They blare over the radio that certain politicians could possibly be the Anti-Christ. They publicly humiliate individuals by arguing with them on street corners, attacking them over Twitter or condemning them from the pulpit. They picket funerals, organize boycotts and use derogatory slurs and defamation against their enemies.

Ultimately, Christian Bigots do more harm than good, which raises the question:

Am I doing more harm than good?

Reference: redletterchristians.org / Article by Stephen Mattson

COvo: If you enjoyed watching Spartacus and Game of thrones then shut your mouth.Nude scenes can't be avoided in some cases.

My opinion stands.

And Spartacus and Game of Thrones aren't considered p-rnography.

Btw...telling someone to 'shut up' is rude, just because you disagree with their opinion.

My opinion...

The few Naija p-rno films I've skimmed through leave a lot to be desired. They were awful!

Some of the women's body complexions left a lot to be desired, as did their weaves. And what's up with these men wearing socks and stuff? lol

I don't think some of these Naija porn stars understand that there are certain things you don't say or do in public as a p-rn star. Save it for the studio. When I read some of their nasty, outrageous comments or see photos of their antics in nightclubs, I am appalled. Although I am not a fan of p-rnography, even I know there is a difference between classy and trashy p-rn and p-rn stars.

I remember some Naija female p-rn star bragging in an magazine interview: "Yes! I am s-x symbol. All men want to f-ck me. Chei!!! I will take all comers in all ways all places! I will take them to heaven!!!"

Uhmmm...I don't think that's a p-rn star.

And the way some of the interviewers conduct interviews with p-rn stars is sad, sad, sad! I swear. I wonder how they passed 'How To Conduct Effective Interviews 101.

What are the requirements regarding foreign currency when travellers enter South Africa?

Any amounts above $10,000 must be declared to customs on the DA331 Passenger declaration form. This applies to both South African residents and visitors. However if the amount is $10,000 or more, the amount must be declared. Failure to report when required can have stiff penalties such as seizure.

What are some of the human rights abuses Nigeria is accused of committing by human rights groups?

Human Rights Abuses By The Nigerian Government

"US support for Nigeria in helping to locate the girls kidnapped by Boko Haram puts Washington in a challenging position. Nigeria's security forces do not have a great track record when it comes to human rights abuses."

Read more: http://www.dw.de/rights-abuses-complicate-us-support-for-nigeria/a-17648303 __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"An American law that prevents the United States from helping foreign security forces guilty of human rights abuses applies to parts of the Nigerian military but doesn’t affect U.S. efforts to find the girls kidnapped by Boko Haram, a senior State Department official said today."

Read more: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2014/05/nigerian-military-human-rights-abuses-wont-affect-american-search-assistance-official-says/
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Nigeria's human rights record remains poor and government officials at all levels continue to commit serious abuses."

Read more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights_in_Nigeria __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"The police regularly commit human rights violations, including unlawful killings, torture and other ill-treatment, and enforced disappearances. The justice system is under-resourced and riddled with delays."

Read more: http://www.amnestyusa.org/our-work/countries/africa/nigeria __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Amnesty International says it has found “gruesome” videos that it calls “graphic evidence of multiple war crimes being carried out in Nigeria.” The group also reports that Nigeria’s northern conflict continues to escalate, with more than 4,000 deaths this year alone."

Read more: http://www.voanews.com/content/amnesty-international-gruesome-videos-show-human-rights-abuses-in-nigeria/1971726.html __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"“People are living in a climate of fear and insecurity, vulnerable to attack from Boko Haram and facing human rights violations at the hands of the very state security forces which should be protecting them.”-Salil Shetty, Secretary General of Amnesty International.

"Amnesty said it had spoken to witnesses who described seeing people who were unarmed and lying down with their hands over their heads shot at close range by soldiers. In one case, a widow described how soldiers put a gun against her husband’s head three times and told him to say his last prayers before shooting him dead. They then burned down their home. She now fends for her seven children alone."

Read more: http://www.france24.com/en/20121101-nigeria-committing-human-rights-abuses-fight-against-islamists-boko-haram-oil/

What do YOU think will eventually happen, if the Nigerian government, now and in the future, continues to neglect the needs of the Nigerian people?

Super egos aside...what do YOU think Nigeria and America can learn from each other?

What are some things money can't buy?

kellybently: "Kill those who are not Christian or Jewish:
You must kill those who worship another god.
Exodus 22:20
..............................
2. Kill any friend or family that worship a god
that is different than your own. Deuteronomy
13:6-10
..............................
3. Kill all the inhabitants of any city where you
find people that worship differently than you.
Deuteronomy 13:12-16

So...if YOU consider yourself a Christian, and consider the Bible the Word of God, how many non-Christians, Jews, friends, family members and strangers who worship a different god that is different than your own have you killed?

If you haven't already, then how many are YOU intending to kill and when will you and your followers begin your holy Crusade?

Btw...JESUS was Jewish...born of parents who were Jewish, circumcised in the Jewish tradition 8 days after birth, raised as a Jew and died as Jew.

What are 5 Things You LIKE About Men OR Women?

And...

What are 5 Things You DISLIKE About Men OR Women?

If you found out your fiancé asked a previous girlfriend to abort his own child, would you still you marry him?

pickabeau1: another zboyd thread

https://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll122/pha57/picard-sigh.jpg

Keep it up!

Maybe you, your minions and your attendant families haven't been touched by the scourge of domestic violence but others have.

So why make light of this issue by mocking me?

If your purpose is to derail the thread or shut me up, you should know better by now.

If you had nothing useful to contribute, why waste time even commenting?

As for your sarcastic "Keep it up!", it is well noted.

And do not insult my intelligence by pretending it was anything else.

You've already shown me who you were.

So why would I believe otherwise?

Now...go ahead.

You can have the last word.

lawrenceunaa: pls the questions are to much

Well, i don't abuse ladies ,hookers inclusive

lol

This is not a test. You need only answer ONE or as many of the questions as you wish - not ALL.

That's why I reposted the 'NOTE'.

Rewind...


NOTE: Feel free to answer ANY of the above question/s you feel comfortable answering. Someone may gain insight into their own abusive situation or recognize the abuser within themselves OR their potential to become an abuser.

FOR MEN:

What do you think of men who abuse women?

Do you have friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. that you know are actively abusing their GFs, Fiancees or Wives? How do you view them?

Have you ever ended a friendship because you discovered your friend was abusing his GF, Fiancee or Wife?

In your opinion, why do YOU think men abuse and continue to abuse women?

What conditions would make it more likely for men to abuse women?

What do you think would be the most common characteristics of men that would make them more likely to abuse women?

How do you think a typical abuser views women, in general?

Do you think a woman can 'make' a man abuse her?

Do you think a man should get jail time for abusing a woman? How much?

Have you ever been pushed to the point of actually laying your hands on a woman in anger?

How did you feel after the fact? Did it ever happen again? Are you afraid it might happen again? Do you think you need help?

If you've ever been pushed to the point of almost laying your hands on a woman in anger, what stopped you?

Did you grow up in a home where domestic violence was present? How did it make you feel?

Why do you think women stay with abusive men?

Do you feel that men who abuse their GF, Fiancee or Wife truly loves them like they claim?

Have you, yourself, ever been abused?


NOTE: Feel free to answer any of the above question/s you feel comfortable answering. Someone may gain insight into their own abusive situation or recognize the abuser within themselves OR their potential to become an abuser.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
FOR WOMEN:

What do you think of women who abuse men?

Do you have friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. that you know are actively abusing their BFs, Fiances or Husbands? How do you view them?

Have you ever ended a friendship because you discovered your friend was abusing her BF, Fiance or Husband?

In your opinion, why do YOU think women abuse and continue to abuse men?

What conditions would make it more likely for women to abuse men?

What do you think would be the most common characteristics of women that would make them more likely to abuse men?

How do you think a typical abuser views men, in general?

Do you think a man can 'make' a woman abuse him?

Do you think a woman should get jail time for abusing a man? How much?

Have you ever been pushed to the point of actually laying your hands on a man in anger?

How did you feel after the fact? Did it ever happen again? Are you afraid it might happen again? Do you think you need help?

If you've ever been pushed to the point of almost laying your hands on a man in anger, what stopped you?

Did you grow up in a home where domestic violence was present? How did it make you feel?

Why do you think men stay with abusive women?

Do you feel that women who abuse their BF, Fiance or Husband truly loves them like they claim?

Have you, yourself, ever been abused?


NOTE: Feel free to answer any of the above question/s you feel comfortable answering. Someone may gain insight into their own abusive situation or recognize the abuser within themselves OR their potential to become an abuser.

Richy4: A wife would be considered selfish if she assume or thought in her heart that her husband was stealing money that was laboured by both in a joint account to solve pressing needs of his immediate family.

Although he should have told her. That is where communication comes in. My anger was that it was referred to as stealing by your write up. Maybe my definition of stealing is different from your.And may be " all I have is yours" that was in martial vows should be removed over there.

Joint account - joint decision. Why should the wife have to 'discover' anything? If the wife referred to it as stealing, who am I to argue with her?

Anyways, here are related cases:

Does Your Spouse Steal From You?

Read more:

http://www.punchng.com/feature/court-vibes/police-arraign-man-for-stealing-wifes-n500-000/
http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/forum/lounge/60611-can-woman-steal-her-own-husband.html
http://newsnigerians..com/2012/10/my-husband-is-thief-wife-tells-court.html
http://howtocatchacheater.net/2996/does-your-spouse-steal-from-you/
https://www.nairaland.com/42446/woman-steal-husband
http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/
https://www.nairaland.com/146868/steal-spouse

Richy4: As a matter of fact I read what you posted and you do not expect me to agree and swallow all.

Back to the topic you said the man withdrew $2000. The last time I checked there's something called two becomes one right? There are vows in marriage that says all I got is yours or do you guys turn deaf ears to those vows

l admitted that the man should have told her about the money but must it be branded stealing?
if all you got is mine vice versa. Why will she investigate knowing fully well that both are signatory to the account. Making him look like a common thief. why was she selfish?

Anyway, I am not married I'm not gonna Educate you guys on marriage issue but I love that institution so much but I think a lot of people came into it selfishly. No one wants to submit and be one another's best friend that's why it doesn't work

In what way can the wife be considered selfish, when she had no knowledge of what the husband was planning to do?

Legally, over here, in most states, it's considered theft of marital property. And...if the matter is taken to court, whatever spouse did the withdrawing from the joint bank account, without the consent or knowledge of the other spouse is responsible for making that money available, especially if dissolution of the marriage has been initiated.

crackhaus: Again, let me show you why I think you're speculating. Pay attention to the emboldened words:

Most American women I know, some American women I know, several American wives I know, Several wives reported, one American wife said, a couple of American wives reported, common complaints I heard, some American wives stated, things I'VE discovered....

You are either a clinical psychotherapist who every American woman married to a/an Nigerian/African tells her problems, or a chronic gossiper in everyone else's business... OR you exaggerated



Personal experiences of how many women?
Most? Some? Several? One? A couple?

Remember, these are the ones you know oo..what about the remaining & over 90% of American women married to a/an Nigerian/African that you don't know?


Yes I read well.
The 'baby mamas' correlation is a deliberate effort to show you the moral comparisons between American women and African women. This should tell you American women are not as innocent as you make them seem.

As for the emboldened, are you saying that all women married to Nigerian men are miserable in their marriages?



This is your motivation for this topic, no surprise here.


If jacking you up turns you on, then maybe that's why..


If you have a Nigerian father, husband, brother, or relative...then I'm also standing up for them.
You should appreciate it

Bottom line...not only are you indirectly calling these women liars but me also.

So be it.

Just know that some things aren't tolerated by American women AND are considered illegal by the American legal system which some Nigerian/African men have found out the hard way.

And another thing...no where did I say that ALL women married to Nigerian men are miserable in their marriages. You did. So stop putting words in my mouth.

One other thing...a Baby Mama (single mother) is NOT the same as a legally Married Woman.

Richy4: What did you call your point 7 again?" Stealing?"
Oh!!! for God's sakes rephrase that please haba!!!!
Apart from the wife, Who else is gonna withdraw money from house hold account? The kids?

Did you read well?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
7. Stealing/Identity Theft. One American wife reported that one day she noted almost $2,000 missing from the household account. Upon investigation, she found out that her husband had withdrawn the money and bought up different items for his parents and shipped them home, without her knowledge or consent. This caused such an uproar that she and the husband had a huge fight and separated over it -- eventually divorcing. Another found that her husband applied for two credit cards in her name, used them to buy a used car and shipped it home to his brother, so that the brother could use it to start a taxi cab business, without discussing it with her first. Result: She pressed charges against him and filed for divorce.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The husband withdrew $2,000 from the bank WITHOUT the wife's knowledge.

What if YOUR wife did that, WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE?

How would you feel?

What would YOU call it?

Would YOU be cool with it?

To: crackhaus

You said: Most American women I know, some American women I know, several American wives I know, Several wives reported, one American wife said, a couple of American wives reported, common complaints I heard, some American wives stated, things I'VE discovered....

I say: You heard right. If you want to know something, the best way is to hear it from the horse's mouth -- not speculate.


You said: You ain't saying nothing! No basis, no definitive research, no statistics, excessive generalizations, and mostly personal opinions.

I say: Why are discounting the personal experiences of women who have lived through such marriages? So what's the need for definitive research and statistics? It's THEIR marriages. And I know these women. They're not lying! Are you serious?! What nonsense!


You said: As for your question: I haven't discovered anything, but what I can tell you is that there are more divorced American women and baby mamas compared to their African sistas.

I say: Better divorced and happy than married and miserable. And these women were MARRIED WOMEN...legally MARRIED WOMEN...not BABY MAMAS. Did you read well?


You said: Doesn't that tell you that at least 50% of the reasons for failed marriages involving American women are actually of their own making and not the Nigerian/African men you blame it all on?

I say: What right-thinking woman is going to accept such behavior from a man she calls husband...all in the name of marriage? Some men are just rotten to the core.

FACT!!!

So why are you jacking me up?

Why is it SOME men can't stand to see the dirty linen of their fellow brothers aired in public?

TOO BAD!!!

After years of casual observation, I've pinpointed some of the most common reasons marriages between American women and Nigerian/African men fail.

1. The Control Factor. Although most of these marriages start out with the best of intentions, the need for the Nigerian/African man to control his wife is problematic. Most American women I know are not comfortable with being controlled and treated like minor children who need discipline, training and guidance. Generally speaking, American women are not used to accounting for every move they make, interrogated about where've they been, queried about how they spend their hard-earned money, not willing to turn over they paychecks to their husbands, not used to being told who they can or can not associate with and resent being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. If the women have been living on their own and doing for themselves for some years, they may go into full 'rebellion', and that's even true of white and Asian women who some Nigerian/African men seem to think are the epitome of the 'Perfect Wife', and more 'agreeable' than any other group of women in America, including Nigerian/African women. Result: Divorce.

2. Sending Money Home. Generally, American women understand the concept of family and the need to help out financially from time to time. But what causes friction is when the children start coming and their Nigerian/African husbands start taking money from the household to send back home to needy relatives, without their knowledge. It's well-understood that elderly parents need financial assistance, so there's no objection there. But it's the constant begging for money from other relatives that causes the arguments. Add this to the unrelenting requests for school fees, cell phones, ipods, laptops, name-brand clothing, etc. that sends the American wives over the edge. The same way some Nigerian/African women object to their husbands supporting out-of-wedlock kids is the same way most American women object to their own husbands taking money out of the household and sending it home. In the American wives' minds, their husbands should take care of home first, parents second, and for the rest...just say no, at least most of the time. If not, then the husbands should use their own personal money -- not household money.

3. Unemployed Relatives Living In The Home. Another bone of contention is the presence of unemployed relatives who come from home and stay and stay and stay, with no job prospects in sight. Worse is when such relatives show little or no initiative to help out around the house. Even worse is when the relatives DO land jobs and NEVER offer to pay a bill or buy groceries, but will Western Union money home and spend the rest on themselves. This ticks off most American wives I know and causes some major fights, even to the point of separation. The wives say their husbands claim that relatives are guests and shouldn't be expected to help out around the house or give money toward paying bills and buying groceries. It's their culture, the husbands say, like it or not. But the wives hotly disagree. Result: Divorce.

4. Family Members Disrespecting The Marriage. Some American women I know report that their Nigerian/African husbands' parents or relatives are in the habit of visiting with single Nigerian/African women they feel are more 'suitable' for their sons, brothers, uncles, etc. To the American wife, this is the height of disrespect and a deliberate attempt to sabotage their marriages, even if there are children are involved. It's like whatever she does or how good a wife and mother she is, it will never be good enough. In the eyes of her husband's people, she'll NEVER be good enough, because she's not a "good Nigerian/African woman", therefore, unworthy of serious consideration. Result: Divorce.

5. Constant Put Downs Of Her Culture. Some American wives I know report that they find it hard to stomach the continuous insults to their own culture, year after year after year. While they wholeheartedly embrace their Nigerian/African husbands' culture, educate themselves about that culture, struggle to understand and speak the language, cook his favorite foods, dress in native wear and maintain a respectful, positive attitude toward him and his particular ethnic group, what they receive in return are continuous assaults and insults against their own culture. Some say their husbands hold some of the worst myths and stereotypes about their culture and nothing they say or do sways their husbands' mindset. This makes them feel resentful, disrespected and only serves to unravel the very fabric of their marriage. Result: Divorce.

6. Favoritism Towards Grandkids. Some American wives say their Nigerian/African husband's family all but ignore their American-Nigerian/African grandkids, in favor of their full-blooded Nigerian/African grandkids. They reported they're husbands' parents and other family members rarely show up for milestone events in their children's lives like christenings, baptisms, confirmations, birthday parties, graduations/etc., but were in full attendance for these events, when it came to their full-blooded Nigerian/African grandkids' milestones. This made the American wives seethe and sowed the seeds of resentment and hatred, especially if the wives' parents and family members came out en masse for events regarding the children from the husband's side of the family.

7. Stealing/Identity Theft. One American wife reported that one day she noted almost $2,000 missing from the household account. Upon investigation, she found out that her husband had withdrawn the money and bought up different items for his parents and shipped them home, without her knowledge or consent. This caused such an uproar that she and the husband had a huge fight and separated over it -- eventually divorcing. Another found that her husband applied for two credit cards in her name, used them to buy a used car and shipped it home to his brother, so that the brother could use it to start a taxi cab business, without discussing it with her first. Result: She pressed charges against him and filed for divorce.

8. Lack Of Appreciation. One American wife said that one year, she spent over $5,000 on a container filled with household goods, foodstuffs, clothing, school supplies and medicines and shipped it home to her Nigerian husband's family three years ago and has yet to receive a thank-you. At the time, her husband had been laid off from his job and couldn't contribute a dime. Another wife said for the last 5 years, she has sent home a huge Christmas box to her husband's parents and extended relatives and has yet to receive a thank you.

9. Domestic Abuse At Home And Abroad. Several wives I know report that they ended up being physically abused by their Nigerian/African husbands, filed charges against them and finally divorced them, when their husbands refused to go to counseling. Another wife said her Nigerian husband morphed into a Neanderthal when they traveled home for the first time, after three years of marriage, with their infant son. He became domineering, abusive and demeaned her in front of his parents and extended relatives. She said he actually expected her to kneel down and serve him his food and drink -- something he'd never demanded, back in the States. She said she kept her cool, because she was in unknown territory. But once she got home, she filed for a restraining order, divorce and child support, then called on her father and brothers to remove all her husband's belongings to a storage unit. She said she had to petition family court to arrange supervised visits, because once the husband found what she had done, he threatened to take the son home and swore she'd never see him again.

10. Selfishness In Bed. Several wives reported that they were fed up with their Nigerian/African husbands' continued selfishness in bed -- only thinking of themselves -- leaving them s-xually frustrated, time and time again. Result: Divorce.

11. Amorous In-Laws. A couple of American wives reported that a couple of their Nigerian/African male relatives had the notion that all American women were wh-res and came on to them. When they reported the incidents to their husbands, the husbands flipped out and accused THEM of coming on to the male in-laws and called them all kinds of nasty names. Incensed that their husbands didn't believe them, they packed up themselves and the kids and left -- later filing for divorce.

12. Lack Of Affection. This was one of the most common complaints I heard. The American wives complained that they were starved for affection. Their marriages lacked intimacy. No "I love you", no hand-holding, no cuddling, no kissing, little or no conversation, beyond what was absolutely necessary. A couple even confessed to cheating but the guilt was too much. Result: Divorce.

13. Infidelity. Some American wives stated that their Nigerian/African husbands claimed that infidelity was acceptable in their culture -- no big deal. And...that no respectable Nigerian/African wife would divorce her husband over something so trivial. But the American wives weren't buying it and divorced them.

14. Not Helping Out Around The House. Three American wives (2 nurses, 1 teacher) said that it irritated the hell out of them that their Nigerian/African husbands expected them to come home and put in another shift doing housework and taking care of the kids, while they sat on the sofa, remote in one hand and a Heineken in the other, while the wives slaved away. And then the husbands had the nerve to expect them to service them at night, with enthusiasm. After some years of this -- they divorced.

15. Mr. & Mrs. & Mrs. Two American wives found out their Nigerian/African husbands had another wife and kids back home and those twice yearly trips home were to visit their other families. Long story short -- divorce.

Well...there you have it...some of top reasons I'VE discovered that caused the failure of some cross-cultural marriages between American women and Nigerian/African men.

What have YOU discovered as the causes of the failure of cross-cultural marriages between American/Any Other Women and Nigerian/African men?

Could Unintentional Weight Gain End Your Marriage?
by Kodjo Hounnake

Not feeling comfortable in your own skin is a surefire way to kill those s-xy moods faster than they appear. If you've gained weight or feel like your body has changed in a way that makes you self-conscious, your s-x drive will take a backseat to the worries about what your partner thinks of your body.

Weight gain also:

⦁Clogs your arteries, making sex harder on your heart
⦁Reduces your stamina
⦁Can prevent you from doing or maintaining certain positions

Unintentional weight gain is a topic that has become ubiquitous, due to the plethora of subliminal messages from the media, but also, due to the ever growing rate of obesity. With the astonishing numbers of divorces, one has to wonder if marriages are being plagued by a new phenomenon outside of couples’ control. Studies have shown that the main causes of divorces are:

⦁Adultery (contributing to 27% of divorce cases)
⦁Domestic violence (17% of all divorces)
⦁Midlife crises – a bit ambiguous but still account for about 13% of all divorces
⦁Addictions, such as alcoholism and gambling (make up approximately 6% of all divorce cases)
⦁Workaholism (makes up another 6%)
⦁Other causes (31%)

When I look at these statistics, I can’t help but inquire: “What percentages of divorces are directly or indirectly linked to unintentional weight gain?” Unintentional weight gain is simply the increase in body weight that occurs when you ingest more calories than your body burns. The rate of unintentional weight gain, increases as we age (primarily because our metabolism slows). However, this rate of increase is compounded by the fact that we have found the love of our life. Let me explain:

Remember those days in your 20s and early 30s, when you were still single, and actively dating? Most people I know in that category spend a great deal of effort on their outside appearance. Single women leave no stone unturned, when it comes to their physical appearance. Their efforts to avoid unintentional weight gain, is almost obsessive. Single women exercise regularly to attract attention from guys; they control their food portion; they do their hair, and stay on top of their manicures and pedicures.

Similarly, single guys go to the gym almost on a daily basis, and try to remain as fit as they can, to be able to appeal to the opposite sex.
However, once a couple is married, the exercising and self maintenance quickly give way to unintentional weight gain. Excuses start erupting from each side. The woman typically claims that she has too much work to do (between taking care of the kids, attending to other household chores, and possibly maintaining a work schedule). The married guy does not have the same drive and incentive to do his home workout routines, because he has already found the love of his life.

When couples embark on this slippery slope, riddled with unintentional weight gain from both sides, I call this “lack of physical appearance maintenance syndrome”. Lack of physical appearance maintenance syndrome can lead (and does lead) to divorce. When a man you married few years ago, because of his intelligence and sex appeal, starts putting on unintentional weight, he can lose his sex appeal. The same goes for a woman. Unintentional weight gain can lead to adultery, or other kinds of abuses (such as verbal abuses). In addition, when you gain weight, you can lose your self-confidence, leading to a flurry of personal issues.

What can Couples Do To Combat Unintentional Weight Gain and Save their Marriage?

PRAISE

I suggest couples praise each other very often, on their physical appearance. When you compliment your husband on how strong his arms look, or how sexy he looks on the beach, he will do everything in his power to avoid unintentional weight gain, and remain fit. Similarly, when a husband helps his wife with her household chores, she will have extra time to go to the gym, and exercise and stay fit.

WORKOUT DATES

When you are married, you have to be creative. Movie dates are nice, but you can take things one step further by scheduling workout dates at the park. Meet at the park with another couple, and make it a double date of jogging, to see which couple lasts longer. Not only can this be fun, it helps avoid unintentional weight gain effortlessly. In essence, you kill two birds with one stone.

PARTNER WORKOUT

A partner workout is a type of workout that a couple can do together. I suggest you and your husband schedule weekly partner workouts, and stick to them. Partner workouts are fun, and help motivate couples, to compete against each other in a positive way. Besides, partner workouts hold each of you accountable.

About the author...
Kodjo Hounnake is a home fitness enthusiast who believes the average person can get and remain in great shape right at home. You do not need expensive gym equipment to achieve the body of your dreams. Your body weight is sufficient enough. See the hundreds of home workout videos and health tips on my fitness blog at http://Kodjoworkout.com