sisieko2001:



you've made your views known already in your earlier posts. don't waste your time trying to 'tone' things down.

why are you changing gear and referring to it as a loan?




just hear yourself. What an arrogant Arrow you are.

its common knowledge on nairaland that you are always against foreign degrees. maybe its because you could not afford it back in the days or you could not get someone to sponsor you. or maybe you just envy those that had the opportunity hence the reason why you cant be bothered to help any of your relative now that you have the means.

you better change the way you think and reason. God is watching you in 3D

*sigh*
anyway I think your opinion can be deciphered from the response, in any case

AjanleKoko:

You know, I haven't been able to figure outwhat the underlying sentiment is here, from most people.
The reason why i say this is . . . well, companies award scholarships to people who graduate with certain grades. So does the government, to some extent anyway.
For those companies, many of them require some form of after-school service, a bond of sorts. You are usually expected to work with them after graduation.
Even universities abroad that offer scholarships to Nigerians also require something, maybe some teaching or research ability.

So in this situation, you are 'awarding scholarship' to that relative of yours, without any pre-qualification (since you say that grades should not be held against anyone), no requirement to pay back (since you say it is freely given), and no bond of any kind (the beneficiary is free to go).
Judging from other posts, everyone else seems to feel the same way. I have to conclude, in that case, that maybe everybody is looking at it from a beneficiary standpoint.

Let's put ourselves in the shoes of the donor for a minute. is that scenario you painted truly feasible? If you were benevolent to one relative, at what point would you draw the line? 2? 3?

i guess it depends on how rich the donors are. maybe if they were rich enough to sponsor their whole village, they would.

some look at it as a form of investment/insurance.

while they cant guarantee how their children will turn out (they might take it for granted), a cousin/nephew who realizes its a privilege and not a right might turn out better in future

theres also the benefit that if something were to happen to them, the relatives they have helped can extend a helping hand to their children (in future)

all in all, seems like a win win situation.

btw, theres always a payback. in cash or kind, now or later.

If I decide to sponsor a relative, I wouldn't be expecting anything in return. I can sponsor a random person if I feel they are deserving - helping my blood shouldnt be an issue.

If they mess up the opportunity then that is their headache not mine.

^^
Thanks
But I wasn't referring to one's children. Anybody has the right to send their children to school anywhere they like.
I think I get the angle of African socio-community philanthropy, which is also okay, and a prerogative of the donor. Someone could decide to sponsor graduates from his village, for example, as a contribution.

What I am looking at is slightly different. In one instance, a recent graduate (nephew of a friend) told me he intended to appeal to an uncle to sponsor his masters degree aspiration abroad. I asked him why he thought the person would sponsor him and his response was 'Well, I know he has the money.' The uncle in question was not some rich businessman, but an exec with a decent salary, by Nigerian standards.He certainly can afford it judging by his status, but not without some personal sacrifice.

Which now begs the question: When is a good deed a good deed or an unreasonable demand? Also, should such privileges not be earned? And why should it not be a loan of sorts, so the beneficiary can place more value on the end product and take the right decisions, rather than a no-questions-asked gift?

All arguments have been based on the sentimental - i.e. he is my blood and as such i have no qualms helping him. What about if he's not your blood, but is very deserving?
Or, to put it this way - would a relative with mediocre educational background be 'deserving', and a non-relative with outstanding academic achievements be 'undeserving'?

My preferences I stated earlier - anything other than a loan wouldn't make sense to me, since foreign education is definitely a luxury. Local education is cheap, and definitely necessary to start with, so I would not be squeamish about that. Besides, one foreign degree would probably pay for ten or more local degrees, so i could help a lot more people if that was what I wanted to do. And I would not limit my generosity to family.

Remember my first response was it shouldn't be a strain on my finances. Lending money to a younger relative is a NO NO for me. My relative is my Blood - I wasn't referring to my child.

So if this relative's parents could afford it, he wouldn't have needed to 'prequalify'. Why does he need to prequalify for my assistance? It's just money in the end - what would I gain from withholding it if I have it? And if I can afford it then I don't need it repaid.

somebody: Remember my first response was it shouldn't be a strain on my finances. Lending money to a younger relative is a NO NO for me. My relative is my Blood - I wasn't referring to my child.

So if this relative's parents could afford it, he wouldn't have needed to 'prequalify'. Why does he need to prequalify for my assistance? It's just money in the end - what would I gain from withholding it if I have it? And if I can afford it then I don't need it repaid.

I forgot to add.
If the person was relocating - lets say he won visa lottery or something, and has some sort of financial requirements. That's a very different scenario, for which I can look at it from the family angle, even if it would be a strain on my finances. That would not be a loan.

But 'I want to study abroad' would definitely take a whole lot of selling to me.
It just sounds like 'I want to buy an SUV'. I guess it's just me. I feel luxury has to be earned.

Maybe it's just you . Education is NOT luxury! If Nigerian universities were that good, they probably wouldnt be looking to go abroad to study.

Most people will need some form of education to progress in life. An SUV is just needed for convenience.

Oga o Mr Ajanlekoko , I don laugh tire.

Personally, I hate the idea of people taking the piss, a relative who expects me to fund an sojourn abroad just because they think I have the money is simply taking the piss in my opinion.

I refuse to let anybody treat my personal finance as national cake, simples!

somebody: If you can afford it comfortably, why not? If it will be a stretch on your finances, then it should be a NO to the relatives.

You can't even tell ones ability by their grades in Nigerian universities so you have no way of knowing if the relative will excel while studying 'abroad'.

Personally, I will give a relative the opportunity to study abroad if they are dedicated and I can afford it.

You really killed the matter with this, and i think thats what A.J is saying, it won't be okay to expect an uncle to sponsor a lazy and unserious me at the expense of a sharp, serious and passionate person (perhaps not a relative). If he can, then he should sponsor the serious ones, for example, a thirdy graduate, personally i would say wasn't serious in school, so what gives the assurance that he'l come out with a good grade after the sponsored programme although there are few exceptional cases, it's just like a wastage of cash.

But the naija fact is this, if you have the money and a relative (whether serious or unserious) approaches you for sponsorship, if you dont, then 'you are bad'.

i would only give money to a relative with a clear and demonstrable track record of academic achievment

i might even be more inclined to give to a non relative than extended family if the fellow in question was a clear bet

in the west, scholarships are based on a academic achievement, and maintaining the same through the duration of the scholarship

providing a loan makes it incumbent on the recipient to do the best he can. providing dash to a person who does not have much ambition in the first place is pouring money down the toilet

my dad put several relatives through school, and sadly for the most part, it was a waste of money. most of them did not finish with anything tangible , and he still had to do his bit to try to get them jobs.

for me - an academic grant to a relative must be considered as a financial investment - if the person cannot demonstrate that sending him to school (local/abroad would not be a waste of money better deployed elsewhere, no dice.

that is just Nigerians and awoof mentality

any kind of support for relatives should be based on their ability to make the best of the support.

otherwise it may be better to hands off.

free money does (giving people fish) will not build them in any way. if a person demonstrated real determination - i have saved so and so , so please add this much to it . . .

Ajanlekoko has also pointed out in the past that foreign degrees do not hold much sway with him. Nigerians look at them as a magic key, but that is not always the case . giving out money for a venture that may not even yield fruit. . .

AjanleKoko: ^^
What I am looking at is slightly different. In one instance, a recent graduate (nephew of a friend) told me he intended to appeal to an uncle to sponsor his masters degree aspiration abroad. I asked him why he thought the person would sponsor him and his response was 'Well, I know he has the money.' The uncle in question was not some rich businessman, but an exec with a decent salary, by Nigerian standards.He certainly can afford it judging by his status, but not without some personal sacrifice.

the above is part of the reasons why we have so much corruption in the nation. so and so is making big money and we want our share. we will report him to everybody. he must carry the entire family on his head.

AjanleKoko: ^^
All arguments have been based on the sentimental - i.e. he is my blood and as such i have no qualms helping him. What about if he's not your blood, but is very deserving?
Or, to put it this way - would a relative with mediocre educational background be 'deserving', and a non-relative with outstanding academic achievements be 'undeserving'?

better the non relative - who will probably go on to become a success who will provide similar aid to other deserving people than a relative who will continue to be a liability.

@ poster, open your eyes and desist from selfishness, someone that is not your child, if everybody taught like that the world would even be worse than this. Studying abroad has a advantage depending on where they are going and what they are studying. if you can help, then dont withhold it, especially if that relative has a focus.

AjanleKoko:

Hush, child



I don't work at MTN. I can't help anyone get a job there. Sorry.




Thanks for being 'gentle' with me . This is a controversial topic, so I can understand the outrage from the complaining kids

But I need to understand a bit more why or how that is a necessary responsibility.
By the way, I most definitely cannot afford to pay anyone's school fees abroad. Nigeria, most definitely, abroad, not a chance.

My point is, people I know who do that can't necessarily afford it - they just do it to get people off their backs.
Imagine if you had 2, 3, or 5 relatives, all of whom are hoping to travel abroad. Maybe you are the only person that's reasonably comfortable in Naija. Are you expected to pay school fees for all of them? Considering that you probably paid school fees for the one they went to in Nigeria.

Seriously this is among one of the dumbest topics treading at nairaland... Wow

AjanleKoko: I have a question, folks. and it's very simple.
Why do people sponsor relatives to study abroad? I mean, it's becoming a fad nowadays. Youth in Nigeria leave school, can't find a job for whatever reason, and they ask their well-off relative to sponsor them abroad for further studies. In fact, the well-off relative is maligned and labelled as wicked and selfish if they don't do it.
Nobody has asked me to do it though, but I have many friends who have done it for siblings, cousins, even distant relatives. Honestly, I don't get it.

I am hard put to understand why I should send anybody who is not my child abroad for further studies, just on the face of it. I mean, it's not like these kids are brilliant, and won some scholarship or something, and needs assistance to fulfil their dreams. Just the average jobless Nigerian youth, with the average degree from the average school, who is trying to escape the country. Why should I do it? Education abroad is very expensive, and should be earned by the person who wants it. I mean, I can do it for my own child if I had the money, but even that requires some thought. Would I buy an SUV for my child, simply because he needs to get around and public transport is not all that in Nigeria?

Would like to hear other views.

Mr Man my Uncle paid my way through a private university in Nigeria and 4 my masters Abroad!! Today he is so proud of me because by the grace of God I am doing very well and I donot have to rely on him for financial assistance . Infact he even assigns the responsibility of footing some bills to me so he dosent get overwhemed! Most importantly I stand like a role model to his own children and they run 2 me for funds they think they can't ask their father eg money to buy gifts for my" friend" on vals day.
Now imagne this man was thinking like you... What do you think would have become of me . Listen africa is a continent where family is a big thing to us. Do not imbibe all the rubbish white peoples mentalities !

lumideezle:

Mr Man my Uncle paid my way through a private university in Nigeria and 4 my masters Abroad!! Today he is so proud of me because by the grace of God I am doing very well and I donot have to rely on him for financial assistance . Infact he even assigns the responsibility of footing some bills to me so he dosent get overwhemed! Most importantly I stand like a role model to his own children and they run 2 me for funds they think they can't ask their father eg money to buy gifts for my" friend" on vals day.
Now imagne this man was thinking like you... What do you think would have become of me . Listen africa is a continent where family is a big thing to us. Do not imbibe all the rubbish white peoples mentalities !

https://www.nairaland.com/lumideezle
mc lumideezle

https://www.nairaland.com/lumideezle/posts

lumideezle: Hello all, I am considering going into procurement as a career, kindly suggest a professional course I can do that is well recognised in the Nigerian market. Thanks a lot

gotta love the internet

oyb:

https://www.nairaland.com/lumideezle
mc lumideezle

https://www.nairaland.com/lumideezle/posts



gotta love the internet

Hahahahaha, the guy got busted, abi? You bahd!

@Ajanlekoko, people are just criticizing your opinion cos it sounds absurd that you have the means to help a sibling, a nephew, or niece but you will simply refuse because you feel that they may not repay you kind gesture. My dear this is Africa and extended family relationship is still in vogue.
Imagine that something happens to you, that incapacitates you and the company you are working for have to let you go or your business packs up because of an illness. You spent all your money trying to cure yourself, and you have a wife and kids who are solely dependent on you and your finances.... pray tell, who will you naturally run to. Friends or Relatives?
From most experiences, it is still your relative who will gather round to see how they can help you.

Stingy, disgruntled, conflicted,idle, delusional,misguided, insensitive self- serving and largely un intelligent deposition from the poster. Hopefully he doesn't apply this level of reasoning on other issues.

Abali1: @Ajanlekoko, people are just criticizing your opinion cos it sounds absurd that you have the means to help a sibling, a nephew, or niece but you will simply refuse because you feel that they may not repay you kind gesture. My dear this is Africa and extended family relationship is still in vogue.
Imagine that something happens to you, that incapacitates you and the company you are working for have to let you go or your business packs up because of an illness. You spent all your money trying to cure yourself, and you have a wife and kids who are solely dependent on you and your finances.... pray tell, who will you naturally run to. Friends or Relatives?
From most experiences, it is still your relative who will gather round to see how they can help you.

he is not interested in "repayment of his kind gesture"- he is interested in the best value for his money

being a relative alone is not enough grounds for me to put you through school. we all had nfa classmates in school. so i should spend my hard earned money on an nfa who will come out with a third? because he is my relative? that means that the money was wasted.

as i said before this i must carry all my less fortunate relatives, even those who are clearly ne'er do wells is one of the core reasons for the rot in nigeria today.

Nigerians living in Nigeria and have never lived and worked in a foreign country generally have a world view that is totally at variance with the realities of living abroad. Otherwise, how can anyone expect you to sponsor a child, a relative, completely to study in a university? An average undergrad education costs about 15000 USD per year. Except in Nigeria where most people steal money, there's no way you'd put that much money every year to sponsor a relative. If a kid is super smart, clears his SAT so well and gets some scholarship, then by all means help if you can. That will not cost more than 2K dollars for his ticket + whatever support he gets from his parents. You basically will be helping with the air fare which is more reasonable and by the time he lives in America for 6 months, he will realize the meaning of personal responsibility. Over here students get loans to cover their education and pay after graduation.

Also, don't create an impression to your folks that you are super rich and can afford everything because this is rarely true abroad. If you earn 60 K + you will live very comfortably as an individual, a family earning 100K will also live very comfortably. However, your taxes will be much higher and after all your bills, you will not have 15K to just give out as a dash.

I have an aunt who was married and the husband was well to do. This particular aunt, did not really think it wise to help some of her people, the way she aught to when things were rosy for her.... Later on, she seperated from her husband and decided to come back home... what do you think will happen.... Yes her people welcomed her back(she is staying with us) but that is were it ends. She stays at home doing nothing and nobody(apart from us) cares if she eats or not.
Let me tell you, some of her younger cousins are doing well now, some are outside the country, some are Politicians who pulls their weight around.
Moral of this tale is simple, When you are up there, try and help those you can to join you at the top... You never know what tomorrow will bring, GOOD OR EVIL

The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone,but the things you do for others remain as a legacy.I will go all the way to sponsor a relative to study abroad if i have the means.My 2 cent view.[/font]

There is nothing wrong in sponsoring a family member to study abroad especially when one can comfortably foot the bill. Where I come from, it is viewed as the responsibility of the sibling who is well to do to provide every nevessary support (financial) to the other siblings and to ensure they are able to stand on their feet either in business or academically except where the sibling is proven as 'wayward' or unserious. In my community, the measurement of how well you are doing extends to how your parents, siblings and sometimes members of your extended family are doing. Sometimes, extended family members ie cousins pull resources together to sponsor such endeavour. It works for us and Ingladly do my own part and wouldn't mind sponsoring any family member as long as that would better his quality of life. By the way, 100% of my tuition fees as well as living expenses for my studies here in the UK were provided by my immediate elder brother who is just 1 yr and 7 months older than me. It is not mandatory but I d not think I'd be able to catch a good sleep at night if I had any sibling who couldn't pull his own in the society. Then and again, me thinks it's a cultural thing. That's why a poor Igbo boy will leave his family in the village to 'serve' a master (trade apprenticeship) in Lagos for 6 years, get settled and as soon as he starts doing well, goes back to bring his brother. He makes sure he sets the brother up in business, takes over (to the best of his ability)the responsibility for those who are in school and makes sure the family is fairly ok before he marries. These are societal expectations and anybody who was brought up in that society imbibes the culture save for a few.

CyberG: Over here, will get students loans to cover their education and pay after graduation.

nothing like a loan to make you sit up and hustle

A very big LIE... this is one of the most inciting and thought provoking topics i have ever followed on nairaland. the topic helps reveal the average mentality and should help to shape our thought pattern.
come to think of it, all wey just the rant from the start of the topic dey away and them be beneficiaries, some dey even wash plates for yankee sef...

omonori1:


Seriously this is among one of the dumbest topics treading at nairaland... Wow

A very big LIE... this is one of the most inciting and thought provoking topics i have ever followed on nairaland. the topic helps reveal the average mentality and should help to shape our thought pattern.
come to think of it, all wey just the rant from the start of the topic dey away and them be beneficiaries, some dey even wash plates for yankee sef...

omonori1:


Seriously this is among one of the dumbest topics treading at nairaland... Wow

coogar:

ajanlekoko - what a plonker!
i have seen more intelligent horses at the london olympics

God of mercy. Chei!!

If you don't have money to support good education abegii move ahead, if you are against good education abegii join Boko Haram

Lmao!

Why is everyone hating on d OP nd taking Ȋ̝̊̅† personal?
Dere simply is no reason for A̶̲̥̅̊¿¿ d insults..

If I'm d one, huever Ȋ̝̊̅† is would definitely be worth d dime..
Even if its a nigerian school.

Most youths are lazy and Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡ education as a valid excuse to leave naija.

OP.... I share ur views jareh.. No mind anybody.
Nairaland has 90% pretenders..
If we had dis % of gud ppl, how come 9ja is still behind??

What most Nigerians who never lived in a foreign country (not just visiting) don't realize is that developed societies actually invested their monies into a system that works real well. Not perfect but they system works fantastically well for everyone from the poorest to the richest. This money is what is stolen in Nigerian and kept in politician's personal accounts while most of the citizens suffer! Just an example, lets say you worked for 3 years and things were going well and you earned only about 1500 per month before taxes (say around 1300 after taxes) and something bad happened to you, you lost your job and can't find another one immediately, your employment insurance kicks in and you are paid about $930 after taxes for like 6-8 months depending on where you are and a few conditions. Remember that you can live on this amount of money reasonably well without needing to go and beg anyone to feed you. This is how it is abroad. Same with retirement, you retire around 65 and I think your pension will take you until around 85 (I am not retired so I am not too sure of this age) and you will enjoy your money before you land in the old folks home, etc. Nigeria on the other hand steal all the money, so everyone is dependent on the only one guy who has more money or who has been opportuned to steal or make more money at the expense of others.

For a fact, do you know that if you were working and had to go back to school and your income goes from like 60K+ a year to around $20 K, in another 3 years of schooling and earning so little your refundable tax credit is something around $40 K? That is money you will get to keep in your pocket (not paid to government in taxes) when you graduate and have a job that pays you much more. Are these things in Nigeria? NO! These are some of the reasons why living a high quality of life is not a function of the amount of money you have in the bank but a system in which people have invested in over hundreds of years to take care of everyone from the weakest to the strongest and if you work extra hard, are smarter than the others, can create new ideas, services and companies, well you will become a millionaire / billionaire (pay much higher taxes of course by percentage) but the guy who works an average job and makes 30K per year will never need to say YES SIR to you to live a comfortable life!

I have a bosome friend of 40 years of age who is planning to travel abroad for a PhD. He is holding a govt job already but he want to forfit the job for the study. He is having it in mind to us the study as a way to relocate that is why he is not married. He knows no one there in amstadam. Do you think he can make it. I am sorry to divert the tread.