lalabrown:

Yes.... With my EX!!
There is nothing quite so bad as when the person who claims he love you starts to hurt you....then tells you he loves you again...then hurts you..it destroys your soul, your heart, your mind..you become a shadow...
I escaped from hell,when i was pregnant with my adorable son 11years ago it took me 5 years to find out who I was again and regain some form of self respect,and heal from the classic hitting, slapping, punching, chocking that happens,but the verbal and mental abuse that's tears me down.l finally woke up one day after getting beat because he had gotten a ticket for for reckless driving. ( Like I was there to prevent his behavior)I have my unborn child to put first and him last. I can't say he was a great Dad, because he was never there.;( That was the first day of the rest of my life, the day I took control and say goodbye,What a great feeling.
If anyone here is going through it..please find help and leave, it's hard, but the right thing to do..don't let some other person destroy your right to be happy.
Love & Light

okpara ugo:

Anyone.

dBard: isn't dat rihanna ? looks suspiciously like her

Ramcie: @OP it's nice you are concerned about your friend but one thing we should know is that 99% of abuses among married couples have been happening right from the dating period. I knw of several women who had abusive boyfriends but still went ahead to marry the same men who beat them black and blue. Do you now expect me to feel pity for such women The truth is, a man has no reason whatsoever to beat up his wife or girlfriend. Am a woman also but I would say the truth we women have a lot to do to stop this menace. when we love, we over love and we also over pity just because the guy would come back begging and probably in tears they would take him back. Women should learn to let go of abusive men. I know of many ladies who can't bear to see a man cry. Can you imagine

Dipwater: @mrs chima long time me no hear 4rm u.
@topic the abused woman needs ur help ,do whateva u can to save a soul. That nigga most def needs a slug in his anus for totally disrespecting a woman like that

afam4eva: We should stop this believe that women are always the victims in domestic violence. It's not just about physical violence but also about emotional traumaa that some women put men through which inspires some men to go on the offensive. It's a to way street.

dontador: This is a very serious case. For me in particular, i don't like it when a women is being abused.
A man in his right senses won't abuse a woman for nothing.
@op we need to know the character of the lady in question. How she treats her man? Even the son also abuses the mother. Something is wrong about the lady in question.
@op enlighten us more about her attitude.

Dipwater: @mrs chima long time me no hear 4rm u.
@topic the abused woman needs ur help ,do whateva u can to save a soul. That nigga most def needs a slug in his anus for totally disrespecting a woman like that

In nigeria beating is very common , maybe its an african thing and the girls don't see it as an abuse ,they think its cuz he luvs them. Seriously in evri 20 women that that I have met its only 1 that has not been abused. A lot of Pipu around me have this mentality of heating their women weneva their women gets them angry. Our women have conformed to the idea and they don't see it as abuse

True life story: I wus dating this girl then. She wus very rude and disrespectful. After managing her for a while. I decided to quit ,only for her to show up one day with tears on her eyes crying that I broke her hart,I thot it wus a joke. But later confirmed. She said she prefered beating to breaking up,that as luvers we can have misunderstanding and seetle it withuot breaking up. And I wus like whaaaaat the f/uck

Xionez: Mrs.Chima, I, personally, would like to know the character or personality of the woman in distress?

I find it suprising as well as disturbing that her own SON would threaten to harm her, his OWN MOTHER. For what reason?
What has she done to deserve such hate?.
What is the attitude of the daughters towards their mum?.

Its hidden problems like this that makes one jump into wrong conclusions. Mind you, I'm not siding the husband neither am I siding the wife.

okpara ugo:

No mind dem. Go check any woman who is physically abused by her partner. If such a woman is given to you free of charge, no man will accept her for sake of her bad character.

Am talking from examples. A woman who would starve her husband of food. A woman who would starve her husband of S3x. A woman who would raise her voice on her man even in public places. What a shame.

Some female behaviours are unimaginable. There was this female banker that even insults her husband inside her office the little time her husband spends visiting her. Mtscheew, the man no get muscle.

Mrs.Chima:


You do not need a reason to beat someone...if a woman smile and her husband smack her....is that her fault because she smiled? Now you see how stup!d that sound?

She is a good wife and mother. She treats her husband like he is pure gold and that is the problem in my opinion however for the son...the son is imitating what he see his father do. If she was a terrible mother then ALL of her children would attack her not just the son.

Think about it.

Mrs.Chima:


She is a good wife and mother. She treats her husband like he is pure gold and that is the problem in my opinion however for the son...the son is imitating what he see his father do. If she was a terrible mother then ALL of her children would attack her not just the son.

Think about it.

dontador: So, the man smacks her for nothing?
Mehn!! If i were to witness that kind of thing being done to a woman. I will try to talk with the abuser, try to talk him out of what he is doing to the woman. But, you know some men don't like to be advised on anything concerning how he runs his family.
So, if the man were to be that kind of person that won't listen to any advise, i will just back-off and let him be. It's his wife, so i have no right to tell him how to handle her.
On the other hand, since the son now imitates his father in abusing the mother. I will advise her to leave the marriage. Because, they might one day beat her to death.
Ps: @op since your husband told you not to interfere with what is happening. I suggest you listen to him. Don't put your family in chaos because of another woman's problems. I know how you feel about how your friend is being abused. ”Humans are emotional in nature“. You should not let your emotions take over you. ACT WISE.

Ama28: One thing I have noticed that is quite familiar about women in abusive relationship is the feeling that their life depends on such and thats where people like you and I comes in Mrs Chima.

These men first breakdown their spirit and self esteem before going physical.
I have lost a lot of people in violence relationship that most times, I rebuff warning signs of "no go area".

A close friend had this issue and I had the opportunity to talk to the husband on a one on one (even though my hubby said no). I just made sure I wasn't the one that initiated the discussion because my hubby said I should stay out. After giving the man a piece of my mind, which got through his abusive thick skull, maybe he went home thinking. The abuse stopped for a while and I encouraged the wife to make smart changes at that interim (she got a juicy job out of town and moved with the kids) he had his space to think. But I lost my friendship with the man and he won't even come near my hubby. Who gives a heck? The girlfriend and her kids are happy!

So am HAPPY!!!

Mrs.Chima:
Have you ever been in a domestic violence relationship and if so, how did you remove yourself from it? Have you ever helped someone remove themselves from an abusive relationship? What are your thoughts on domestic violence in marriage or dating?

I have recently encouraged a friend of mine to leave her abusive partner because she would always cover herself with make up and hoodies. I told my husband about this situation and he suggested that I remove myself from the equation and we got into an argument because I felt like he was supporting the abuser.

My husband said that he does not want his wife involve in something that has nothing to do with me and he will hurt a mofo if harm come my way. In some way, I am touched but still mad at him because I feel like if it was his sisters or mother...he would be like Boko Haram with atomic bombs. Why is it when it is someone that is not family...men will turn their heads?

My friend won't press charges and I am afraid for her children. She has two girls and one boy. She shared with me that her son is imitating the abuser by threatening to kill her and she need to sleep with one eye open. That bothers me because I know if she doesn't get out...she will be in a body bag.

I have successfully helped women get out of abusive relationship because their families were involved but she has not family that live in our region. She moved from her hometown to be with her partner and I was introduced to her by a survivor. This is exactly what she looks like and it is no lie.

How can a woman or man get out of an abusive relationship and do you think it is easy to do so even with a sure way out?

jhydebaba: You don't need to get out of domestic violence, its for better for worse sister.

Mrs.Chima:


What you just described is entirely different then what this thread is about. This thread is NOT ABOUT TYPICAL IGNANT WOMEN OR MEN BEHAVIOR....it is about domestic violence between men and women.

If your woman did all the things you mentioned above then YOU ARE STUP!D for staying with her and beating her will NOT CHANGE HER ATTITUDE.

De~Blunt:
I was so glad when I saw this topic, cos I just broke up with my girl few days ago cos of physical abuse suprisingly am the victim here and the guy.

She physically abused me six times in our one year relationship and eachtime I had serious injuries and bruises. She would always cry and plead after each incident. She was so jealous and insecure.

Now many would ask why did I let her get away with it? Well I wasn't brought up to hit a woman, my dad never did and he even made me put my sisters first when growing up. The first time my dad hit me was when I fought my sister at the age of ten. Secondly I couldn't imagine inflicting harm on someone I really cared about. But my ex had the fiercest anger I've only seen in few men, her anger and the power with which she hits is simply unimaginable. I almost lost a finger to her few weeks ago when she attacked me, as I tried to defend myself, my finger mistakenly ended up in her mouth and she almost bit it off with her teeth. It was horrible.

I thought she would outgrow her jealosy and insecurity but she didn't, she just needed another excuse to attack me.