Well, basically lately I think he's getting bored of me. Just last Friday we had a tiny little spat about this girl named Lukka (will go into that later) that he seems to talk about a lot.

Ok it all started like this, on Friday at lunch I was walking slowly and then he opened his big mouth and said "girl you walk so slow compared to Lukka, since I have to almost run to catch up to her" (meaning she walks pretty fast, ) and yeah. That got me riled up because lately that's all he talks about and yesterday night we played the question game and I asked him how he truly felt about her,

He said he knew they were friends and all, nothing more since she has a boyfriend as well. But, I know for sure that he likes her because of instincts you know, and the fact that he blows his cover when he repeatedly talks about her and wants to oh-so-badly go to church because for 1 week he missed it (today) and he missed seeing her. Anyway, he goes to church every Sunday and they go to the same church and all so I'm guessing something happens when I'm not there.

And like last weekend he went on a trip to the mountains with the church (annual every year trip it seems) and she was there too and well he told me she tried flirting with him once but he turned her down but I don't know, I feel like he's lying to me although I've told him dozens of times "I trust him, not other girls." :/

So yeah, I know he's bored of me already (I told him were sort of a routine everyday now and its true, ) but there's not much I can do to show him I still care and I don't wanna lose him but if we have to break up then we will. =/ We've been together for a month and a half btw which isn't much compared to most but I'm tired of this happening to me all the time. Every relationship I'm in tends to end this way, meaning it always turns out bad in the end.

I don't know, I know I'm not as beautiful as this Lukka girl or as smart or anything. I know he used to like her before and she used to like him but what stopped him from asking her out was that he thought she had no interest in him and when he found out she did but "not anymore" (she does now it seems since she calls him enough, ) he got sad for awhile but got over it and then moved on but now, he's with me and I know I'm gonna get hurt.

I knew from the beginning getting with him was going to be hard because he's I guess known as a "bad boy" in our school. He did drugs (before but not anymore), he drinks, he parties at times and he's pretty bad and after all those times I've comforted him and been there for him when his parents were absolutely mean to him he turns around and hurts me like this. Oh nevermind, I probably deserved this and had this coming because I knew getting with him was gonna hurt. ugh. *sighs* Oh well, x.x

Well ,Is it me? Am I doing something wrong in the relationship? =/ Do you guys think there's anything he or I can do to save this or should I just give up hope on it? Oh and btw, he was the one that told me "I love you" first (why would he tell me that if he didn't mean it?!:[). I'm gonna have a talk with him on Tuesday when I see him at school about all of this. If he wants Lukka or me, I don't know. Right now I'm kindof numb and I just stopped crying so I'm at a loss at what to do,

dot2002:

He said he knew they were friends and all, nothing more since she has a boyfriend as well. But, I know for sure that he likes her because of instincts you know, and the fact that he blows his cover when he repeatedly talks about her and wants to oh-so-badly go to church because for 1 week he missed it (today) and he missed seeing her. Anyway, he goes to church every Sunday and they go to the same church and all so I'm guessing something happens when I'm not there.

Summary . . . he likes Lukka, you're just an unnecessary impediment he will not think twice of removing just to lay his darling Lukka.

dot2002:

I don't know, I know I'm not as beautiful as this Lukka girl or as smart or anything.

You dont even like yourself and u expect someone else to like you? If you dont have self esteem no guy can give it to you.

dot2002:

Well ,Is it me? Am I doing something wrong in the relationship? =/ Do you guys think there's anything he or I can do to save this or should I just give up hope on it? Oh and between, he was the one that told me "I love you" first (why would he tell me that if he didn't mean it?!:[). I'm going to have a talk with him on Tuesday when I see him at school about all of this. If he wants Lukka or me, I don't know. Right now I'm kindof numb and I just stopped crying so I'm at a loss at what to do,

A guy will promise to kill his mother if that is what it takes to get into ur pants.

Leave the guy . . . he doesnt like you. End of story.

My sista dis your tori dey pain me o. As the saying goes notin go pain you more dan to see the man you love fall in love wit another woman. Between you and I your man no go rest until he hits on dis other girl.

@ dot2002

don't give up so easily, I'm sure you are an attractive chick with lots to offer a man in a relationship both mentally, emotionally and physically

You need to confront him and iron it out, if he is bored and wants to end it, then do so. Don't accommodate cheating or infidelity just like that.

You also need to build up your self esteem. In my experience, there is no such thing as an ugly guy/girl, there will be someone somewhere dying for someone that may appear unattractive to me.

Why do you feel you 'deserve this'? No one deserves to be cheated on, unless they themselves have done so to others.

Even if they have, it happens and that was in the past. Give your all to making it work, if it doesn't, don't kid around just end it.

Its a mad world of tears for fears. i dey really vex, naija ladies***

Calm down love, please don't let anybody make you feel worthless. You are beautiful and speacial. Uou need to love yourself before you can feel love. Now is a good time to discover yourself, spend less time with him and spend more time by yourself, I went through this and i sat down on day to ask myself, how my life was before he came along and i took time off and learnt to love myself, am still learning. The truth is that when you love yourself, no one can make you feel worhless or inferior, looks don't matter, you know your strenghts and weaknesses, Spend time alone and have fun, life is too short.
Dont loose your personality to any man.

This is what I would do.

Look him in the eye and ask him, why he compares me with the other girl and what does he really want out of this relationship. While asking these questions in a very low quiet voice I'm neither smiling nor frowning. If he cannot say anything tangible or flares up in anger, I then let my lips corner up in a smile, stare at him for a while, pick up my handbag and leave without looking back or reminiscing about the past. The past would be dead to me.

@ poster

You really need to get yourself some confidence. This relationship is not a healthy one. No man that loves would taunt you by comparing you to a lady friend.

stillwater:

This is what I would do.

Look him in the eye and ask him, why he compares me with the other girl and what does he really want out of this relationship. While asking these questions in a very low quiet voice I'm neither smiling nor frowning. If he cannot say anything tangible or flares up in anger, I then let my lips corner up in a smile, stare at him for a while, pick up my handbag and leave without looking back or reminiscing about the past. The past would be dead to me.

@ poster

You really need to get yourself some confidence. This relationship is not a healthy one. No man that loves would taunt you by comparing you to a lady friend.

You presumee you are asking a guy who is mature enough to understand the responsibilities that comes with a relationship. Going by the way dot describes the fellow i doubt if he does. Asking him such questions is a waste of time.
It also betrays the fact that the fellow does not respect dot at all. If you respect a woman you wont be talking about another girl while dating her.
Why is dot begging the fellow to stay? he is openly chasing Lukka to her full knowledge and u are telling her to ask him a question in a low voice?

na wa for women o! When a man openly chases a girl in ur presence it is 100% a sign that you are nothing but a cheap lay! No atom of respect for u.

davidylan:

You presumee you are asking a guy who is mature enough to understand the responsibilities that comes with a relationship. Going by the way dot describes the fellow i doubt if he does. Asking him such questions is a waste of time.
It also betrays the fact that the fellow does not respect dot at all. If you respect a woman you wont be talking about another girl while dating her.
Why is dot begging the fellow to stay? he is openly chasing Lukka to her full knowledge and u are telling her to ask him a question in a low voice?

As for me, I don't believe in shouting and ranting "the usual hysterics", but that does not mean I won't and can't deal with you. It does not mean I will tie my neck to some cheating guy or cry I can't live without you( all those nonsense heartbreak talks). I ask questions in order for me to know what actions to take on someone. This might sound stupid, but it's a cover up of what goes on in my mind. This works for me.

na wa for women o! When a man openly chases a girl in your presence it is 100% a sign that you are nothing but a cheap lay! No atom of respect for u.

I know that already.

Dot2002, you have always been there or me when i had my issues and you are a really nice and special person, dont let him make you differently. I use to have a boyfriend who will critisice my every action and always had a way of making me feel worthless. I kept changing to please him yet the more i changed, the more unsatisfied he was. I changed so much that i could not recognise my self, I chaned the way i looked, I Changed my friends, he did not like me laughing and if you know me, i love laughing and smiling, but i stopped laughing, I changed the way i thought, i even stooped watching football just to please him.One day after leaving his place i went to a park and sat crying there for hours and after i hd cryed, i sat to hink about what i was doing, then i made up my mind to stop that nonesense and i felt so light after i left the park. I use to be the one who did most of the calling, so i stopeed, he came some days later and started shouting at me for not calling him, then i shut him up and told him not to ever raise his voice at me. I gave him a serious lecture and some ground rules, he was shocked and he left, thinking that i would go beging him as usual, sure i missed him but i was not going to take any verbal abd emotional toture from anyone, he came back some days laer loking so deflaed and apologsed, by then I realised that i deserved better and i told him so. Since then I have moved oon and am still loving myself.
The point of this long story is to tell you that no man should have the powerto make you feel inferior. Look him in the eye and tell him never to compare you with any girl because you are who you are and you love yourself the way you are, if he is not comforable with you, he shuld take a walk. Keep your heaad up, my sister, am here for you

@aisha2

u are really a good adviser. U think guys are easy to come by?

once a man has lost intrest in a girl,there is almost nothing that wud bring him back.why should he be comparing you to another babe?he needs a breath of fresh air,he wants out,let him go dear.if you truly love him,let him go.yes,its painful(cos you still love him) but you cant change it so,let go.
love and appreciate yourself too.perharps the guy dont even deserve you.a better person that wud love,appreciate and respect you is still out there.

pin4eva:

@aisha2

u are really a good adviser. You think guys are easy to come by?

Guys are easy to come to a woman who knows her worth and respects herself. It is a bad mentality to think that guys are not easy to come by, you can get whatever you want but you have to love yourself and getting a man should not be the main focus of anybod's life. I have been there, done that and seen the worst, I am happily single and i know that there is a good man out there but fir nw am nt ready to loose sleep over any man.

@topic

Its simple, once a guy starts talking frequently about another girl, even comparing her with you, the trust me the end of that relationship is very near.

he does not like you talkless of loving you. your just a standby while Lukka is the main one.

if she says she's interested in dating him today, he would not hesitate dumping you. leave him now and save your self esteem, he does not deserve all the attention or fuss your giving him.

@poster, u've been given enough goodies already. . . no need to add more! Make a wise decision fast!

NB: Waste no time on things that are not worth it!!

aisha2:

Guys are easy to come to a woman who knows her worth and respects herself. It is a bad mentality to think that guys are not easy to come by, you can get whatever you want but you have to love yourself and getting a man should not be the main focus of anybod's life. I have been there, done that and seen the worst, I am happily single and i know that there is a good man out there but fir nw am nt ready to loose sleep over any man.

Aisha left her muslim bf . . . hallelujah! You dont know how happy i am, i always thot you were too good to get stuck with an unholy union. Surely God has a good man out there for you. Way to go!

Hallelujah for Alisa2, DON'T LET ANY MEN CONTROL YOU changing you be someone else and DON'T LET YOUR MAN have power making you feel low-esteem!

@poster

I would not allow a guy who compare me for other girl, always talk about her all the time, as well as talk me crying over to complain about other girl---feel like I am so neglected while chasing other girl. It was NOT WORTH TO STAY RELATIONSHIP with a CHEATER who love someone else but uses me!

This is NOT A LOVE to me! It is called TWO-TIMER!!! Let him go! Let him go!

I am happily single and i know that there is a good man out there but fir nw am nt ready to loose sleep over any man.

well, if u are sure u are single hmmmmmmmmmmm, ^{cracks my head} me too am single. What other good man are u expecting? why don't we get started?

waz going on pin4eva

yawns:::::::::::::
the problem is low self esteem!!! u keep putting down urself! u think u probably deserved this? cant u see there is a pattern here if this has happened loads of times its probaBLY because ure alwys paranoid other preety girls are gonna steal them and ure secretely competing all the time. and just so u know guys can sense wen a woman is unsure of herself and its a turn off. they only believe wat u want them to believe if u think ure a princess they will treat u like one but if u think u are enithing short of that then so will they! END OF STORY
NEXXXXXXXXXXXT

waterworks:

the problem is low self esteem!!! u keep putting down yourself! u think u probably deserved this? can't u see there is a pattern here if this has happened loads of times its probaBLY because ure alwys paranoid other preety girls are going to steal them and ure secretely competing all the time. and just so u know guys can sense when a woman is unsure of herself and its a turn off.

exactly she's feelin so insecure of herself nd i undastand her since av been thru it b4 bt girl it is only in ur imaginatn dat u re competin wit lukka cs u ve bad relatnships nd its affectin dis one,if dis guy has truly lost interest jst move on i see no reason y u shuld b competin secretly wit anoda lady if d guy has almost 4gotten u nd jst let wateva u feel outta ur system it helps alot.

This Lukka sef, na wa o
You sef, na wa o.
Your guy sef, na wa o
Una sef, na wa o.

The day my ex tell me he dey fancy another girl, i tell am make he go try him luck. Even if he was joking then, he never played that expensive game with me because he see say that even if he left, my life go continue.

na wa for women o! When a man openly chases a girl in your presence it is 100% a sign that you are nothing but a cheap lay! No atom of respect for u

na so!. . .

Babes,

That man chose you for a reason, even wiv the existence of this Lukka chic,

When faced wiv such emotions you have now, reassure yourself that you are worth his attention, and remind him y he chose you in the first place,

Dress nice, talk nice, act nice, be nice, Never push, gently nodge,

DOnt compare yourslef with others, All fingers are not equal and life is an individual journey, If he wants Lukka, let him have Lukka, But make sure you put in your 50cents so that no one would ever say you didnt try

Good Luck sweetie, If he really knows why he chose you, it wouldnt take anything by creativity on your path to remind him about why he wanted you in his life in the first place, :-)

davidylan:

Aisha left her muslim boyfriend . . . hallelujah! You don't know how happy i am, i always thot you were too good to get stuck with an unholy union. Surely God has a good man out there for you. Way to go!

David, hmmmmmmmmmmm, no be me and you this year oh.

[b]@poster,

So sorry for your pain. I can only imagine. Do yourself a big deal and work on your self esteem. I completely understand that when such happens we ladies completely loose it. Try to pump it up again ok. There must be some other guy that likes you, make yourself available and pretty, go on friendly dates with them, by the time your Goat for a boyfriend (excuse the name calling) realises that other men are interested in you he would sit up. If i were you i would break up with him though. Men are not hard to find. Never believe that rubbish. Am in my thirty's and i do not lack male company in anyway, I guess you are definately younger, so whats the biggy? if they still find old woman like me sexy and all, there is nothing stopping them from liking you ok. Cry if that will make you get over him, He has to go sweet heart ok.

On second thought, i have been in Lukka's shoes too (the other woman) sometimes its fun, its just a game, you flirt and thats it, she really might not want to take your man, just playing with his stupid head. At least that was my own intention back then.[/b]

It's obvious that if you are that bitch on your profile, you guy will prefer anything human!

there's nothing as irritating as your man secretly having a crush on someone else.
I dont talk a lot or squabble about it. I generally dish out exactly what i am dealt! If he stares at girls, I let my roving eyes feast on all the scrumptious hot dudes around! If he talks about exes then i assume its ok to discuss exes and i talk about mine all the time. I dont get mad. it actually amuses me because i can be a little flirt. We go see who go tire!

So yeah, I know he's bored of me already (I told him were sort of a routine everyday now and its true, ) but there's not much I can do to show him I still care and I don't want to lose him but if we have to break up then we will.

I wonder how a planned war will gulp-down a cripple.  But how can someone possess something she knows that its usefulness is quite remote or even a mere whimsy?   Discard it, discard it , I mean anything that will hurt you.

girl the key is SELF ESTEEM.


PLS BE A TONY CHILDS & LOVE YOURSELF

sometimes just looking @ myself fills mi up, its lyk magic