The story below is the reality faced by one of my close pals. I am using this medium (NL) to seek your advice. Let us join hands together and help her and other people facing similar problems. The names used are not the real names of the people involved. Thank you.


Anggie met Dave outside an eatery on her way back to work. She refused to give him her phone number and ended up giving him her email address when he pleaded. They started communicating through mails and she found out that he was a Nigerian who grew up in America, but he comes home at least four times in a year.

Some months later, they started dating. Although she was skeptic about long distant relationships, Dave promised to visit often. They communicated daily through emails, phone calls and several social networks. Whenever he was in the country, he devoted all his time and attention to her. Six months later, he proposed. Anggie was a bit scared because, she felt it was too soon.

Dave was able to convince her and they began to make preparations. Anggie discovered that Dave had a very hot temper. Whenever he was upset, he would pick up anything at close range and hurl it in any direction. She began to nurse the fear that this man might attack her physically one day. Her premonition came to pass during their introduction. Dave slapped her! Over what? She saw off a friend who had to leave because of the hostile traffic in her area. She met him fuming in her bedroom and before she could say one word, he hit her across the face. He apologized later on, but Anggie knew she could not spend the rest of her life with someone who had a questionable temper and the will to get physical.

Dave went beserk when his parents told him that the wedding had been called off. He came to Anggie's home and demanded to see her. She stayed locked up in her room and he almost broke down the door but was restrained by Anggie's dad and a few neighbours.

A year later, she met Kelvin. He was loving, caring, giving and everything a woman wish for in a man, but he wasn't working. He came from a wealthy family, so money was not his problem, but he has refused to work. Whenever she raised the issue, he would promise to go for interviews, but he wouldn't go. There was a time she helped him to look for a job and she made sure he attended the interview. Kelvin got the job but he refused to start work. He plans to marry her soon, but his joblessness worries her.

They started quarreling over irrelevant issues. They would break up and make up, and this became a sad trend for a full year. When she couldn't take it anymore, Anggie broke up with him indefinitely.

She met Allen at a friend's birthday party, he told her that she was the wife he had been looking for, but she declined his request of starting a relationship. He called her everyday, he would show up at her place of work unannouced, he frustrated her with gifts and affection, he would visit her parents, the list was endless. At some point, she gave in to his advances. That same year, they got married and she was delivered of a set of twins, a boy and a girl.

Suddenly, her husband changed. He began to come home late, at times he would go to work during the weekends, even on Sundays! He became distant, communication ceased, and she began to fret. Whenever she confronted him, he would either ignore her or threaten to teach her a lesson. She got upset one day when he returned home at 2 a.m. A fight broke out between them and he beat her up. Her screams for help woke up the children and a few of their neighbours who intervened. She was taken to the nearest hospital due to the injuries she sustained.

A family meeting was called, but Allen did not show up. His family apologized on his behalf and promised to talk to him. He did not change and the beatings continued. When she could not take it anymore, she left home with the twins and went to stay with a friend.

She came across Dave a few months later. He told her that he was still in love with her and would still like to marry her. As if that wasn't enough headache, Kelvin also wants her back. He had gotten a lucrative job in an oil firm. Her parents also informed her that Allen was looking for her. He also wants her back and had promised never to lift a finger against her.

She is totally confused. What should she do?

**singing**
This is superstory

Since she has got nothing negative to say abt Kelvin aside his joblessness and since he's nw with one i think she sud go for Him

Mynd_44: **singing**
This is superstory

a life of strive sorrow

Lolaabokoku: a life of strive sorrow

Yes oooooooo

her husband, Allen

Your advice is needed. What should Anggie do?

Mynd_44: **singing**
This is superstory

Really? This is a close pal's situation.

k2039:

[size=13pt]Sounds like fiction
She should go for Kelvin.
The worst man to be in love with is one with a bad temper,he can kill,Dave is a dangerous man and no go area
[/size]

Sounds like fiction? True, but that's the reality Anggie lives in.

She should go for Kelvin? But she is legally married to Allen.

Are you suggesting that she should divorce Allen?

Ariyke: Since she has got nothing negative to say abt Kelvin aside his joblessness and since he's nw with one i think she sud go for Him

If she goes for Kelvin, what happens to Allen?

joeydozzy: her husband, Allen

Ok, but what if he starts beating her again?

serahsadeiyare:

Really? This is a close pal's situation.

Story

serahsadeiyare:

If she goes for Kelvin, what happens to Allen?

So U are suggesting she stays with her husby and get killed abi?

serahsadeiyare: Your advice is needed. What should Anggie do?

Tell Angie to ask the dark hole under her, it might be of help, cos the three cables must have pass through there, so give her a say in this matter.

Though I can't read through the long write up.

Thank me later.

Allow me point the flaws in your story dt gave it's fictional characteristics away!
1. She met d first, the second and she's got a reason to break off. U created enough reason with each of them that readers will agree she shld let go.

2. After marriage, to make her life look miserable, the husband changed and he wouldn't want to change. U painted the husband's arrogancy in such a way dt 'he didn't show up for a reconcilliation meeting'!

3. Now dt every reader will agree she leave all of them, the problem starts again...
¤ the first came begging..
¤ the second got a job in an oil company. Hmmm. Why oil company? It's simple. To create a scenario where d girl have no more excuses.

I hope the husband came begging and crying, the dave turns pastor and has minimal chance of beating a lady, then u wild have succeeded in putting the readers at cross road.
The tactic is too common.

KINGwax: Allow me point the flaws in your story dt gave it's fictional characteristics away!
1. She met d first, the second and she's got a reason to break off. U created enough reason with each of them that readers will agree she shld let go.

2. After marriage, to make her life look miserable, the husband changed and he wouldn't want to change. U painted the husband's arrogancy in such a way dt 'he didn't show up for a reconcilliation meeting'!

3. Now dt every reader will agree she leave all of them, the problem starts again...
¤ the first came begging..
¤ the second got a job in an oil company. Hmmm. Why oil company? It's simple. To create a scenario where d girl have no more excuses.

I hope the husband came begging and crying, the dave turns pastor and has minimal chance of beating a lady, then u wild have succeeded in putting the readers at cross road.
The tactic is too common.

Interesting observation.
I would have come to the same conclusion too if not for the fact that I witnessed the manifestation of these events.
At some point in our lives, we meet cross-roads.
If only you know what many people face daily...
Hmmmm...

Ariyke: So U are suggesting she stays with her husby and get killed abi?

When a married woman gets beat up by her husband regularly, I advocate for separation, i.e, she moves out of the house for her own safety.
Many women have been killed by their physically abusive husbands.
Some husbands change, others do not.

If Anggie wants to go back to Allen, she has to make sure that he is really a changed man.
Going back to Kelvin seems appealing, but, this is someone she hasn't seen for a while. Is he still the same person? Has he changed? Same goes for Dave.

serahsadeiyare:

When a married woman gets beat up by her husband regularly, I advocate for separation, i.e, she moves out of the house for her own safety.
Many women have been killed by their physically abusive husbands.
Some husbands change, others do not.

If Anggie wants to go back to Allen, she has to make sure that he is really a changed man.
Going back to Kelvin seems appealing, but, this is someone she hasn't seen for a while. Is he still the same person? Has he changed? Same goes for Dave.

Am nt suggesting she get married immediately atleast there goes frienship & courtship before marriage and she might get to knw his character in the process.
Am nt against her going back to the father of her babies Bt once bitten twice shy.

PEACE!!

joeydozzy: her husband, Allen

Because once u are married, you are married forever

serahsadeiyare:

Ok, but what if he starts beating her again?

then she go pack and start a new life. life is not a bed of roses, she still loves him and if he promises to be better, then she should give him a second chance. She wouldn't want the kids to leave without their father

tpacalipse: Because once u are married, you are married forever

thanks

Ariyke: Am nt suggesting she get married immediately atleast there goes frienship & courtship before marriage and she might get to knw his character in the process.
Am nt against her going back to the father of her babies Bt once bitten twice shy.

PEACE!!

True Talk

joeydozzy:

then she go pack and start a new life. life is not a bed of roses, she still loves him and if he promises to be better, then she should give him a second chance. She wouldn't want the kids to leave without their father

190: pick the two and wed them same church same day

The nigerian churches may be money making homes where anything can happen, but I do not think they have gone so down to the level of being party to marriage btw one woman and two husband same time.

serahsadeiyare:

Really? This is a close pal's situation.

I still think it is a story

^^
werey boy