freecocoa: Wait o, are my eyes failing me?
Am I reading that anyone who was abused is as a result of not seeking God before the union or what? Someone help me please.

It is now a desperate free for all. Expect the unexpected. Anything can be written now.

baby_123:

It is now a desperate free for all. Expect the unexpected. Anything can be written now.

Ngwanu and I thought I've seen it all, okay o

ileobatojo:
Ok, I'm going to leave you with this example from a website about stages in pregnancy.
So by your reasoning, all people who visit this website for education are either having girls or will have girls at the time of delivery. Or, those who are having boys should totally disregard this information right?

wrong analogy!
i don't think the baby described here blinking her eyes is committing any crime or doing anything repulsive.....but to qualify an abuser by definition with a specific gender is very wrong! don't argue against logic!

You are right and I apologize for partaking in his little game.

#sigh#

Meanwhile Jenny don waka go kpepus again, later she go come dey ask "what is going on here" Make I see her 2 left leg here again.

coogar:

the logic here is a bit distorted!
setting up this thread is an INSULT to the nigerian men who are not beastly to their partners, it's an insult to the nigerian men who find domestic abuse repulsive, etc.....why not put up a general thread where all the victims(male and female)of domestic abuse can come together and address the issue - by doing this, we can hear from the men and the women at the same time and strike the balance!

Thread Title - Debrief and Cotton 101 and those that came out alive. Got a few questions for you.

Did Debrief come out of an Abusive relationship? Yes.

Did Cotton come out of an Abusive Relationship? Yes

Last I checked, THOSE is a determiner for THAT and it has never, ever been GENDER SPECIFIC. So please, please, please how is this not general enough?

Oh because Jenny mentioned two women's names, then it means only women are allowed to share their stories? Please how many men have come on NL to detail the abuse they suffered like these women have done? How is Jenny going to know what name to mention. . .if the mentioning of the names is the issue here, if she does not know who they are?!!

I'm sorry but I have to reiterate my point that thinking this thread is an indictment on all Nigerian men because of a few is wrong and an apology needs to be tendered to the None Abusive Nigerian men.

coogar:

.why not put up a general thread where all the victims(male and female)of domestic abuse can come together and address the issue - by doing this, we can hear from the men and the women at the same time and strike the balance!

It's easy man....if you wanna whine about male cases... The new button isnt that farfetched...

freecocoa: Wait o, are my eyes failing me?
Am I reading that anyone who was abused is as a result of not seeking God before the union or what? Someone help me please.

You forgot how holy Nigerians can be..Holier than Mother Mary herself..

Always trying to deflect the blame...guess the religiousness of the couple is the easiest culprit here.

you have never been cheated on or abused, but you have such addictions to the beaten and abused, surely there is more reason for your interest. and the fact you need to highlight what you've never been through is suspect. . . . . . .i'm *jussayin*

^shioor.

mdsocks:
It's easy man....if you wanna whine about male cases... The new button isnt that farfetched...
.

what an odious tool - only a nigerian male would put a claimant and a defendant in separate rooms and judge their cases! some of you men are what is wrong with that society!

Sisi_Kill:
Thread Title - Debrief and Cotton 101 and those that came out alive. Got a few questions for you.

Did Debrief come out of an Abusive relationship? Yes.
Did Cotton come out of an Abusive Relationship? Yes
Last I checked, THOSE is a determiner for THAT and it has never, ever been GENDER SPECIFIC. So please, please, please how is this not general enough?

Oh because Jenny mentioned two women's names, then it means only women are allowed to share their stories? Please how many men have come on NL to detail the abuse they suffered like these women have done? How is Jenny going to know what name to mention. . .if the mentioning of the names is the issue here, if she does not know who they are?!!

so because men have not come on NL to report abuses, then they have not been abused? the fact that men don't talk about their domestic abuse means it doesn't exist? i can't work this out in my head!

jenny does not need to mention names - she could have just called out all the victims of domestic abuse(men and women) to come and share their stories!

I'm sorry but I have to reiterate my point that thinking this thread is an indictment on all Nigerian men because of a few is wrong and an apology needs to be tendered to the None Abusive Nigerian men.

it is - there's no amount of reiteration that can move my position. both parties need to be heard or encouraged to come out and share their experiences! this is a pity-party thread where tales of woes would be shared and nothing conclusive would be reached. if that is what this thread aimed to achieve from the onset, then goodluck to y'all ..... all that is missing is for you guys to hold hands and sing kumbaya!

Wow, how did the title of my thread suddenly become "Nigerian men are Abusive psychopaths?". Am I not married to one? Is that what some of you's see? Really?

If that's what you's choose to see then carry on. I owe nobody an apology or explanation. The title remains so, hit your heads on the wall and end the misery already

queensmith: you have never been cheated on or abused, but you have such addictions to the beaten and abused, surely there is more reason for your interest. and the fact you need to highlight what you've never been through is suspect. . . . . . .i'm *jussayin*

Heheheheheeeeeeee, Officially grabbing my Pop Corn, waiting for Saga, Mrjay and Kobojunkie. This has the making of a 100 page thread

Lmao @ the singing of kumbaya.
Coogar free me o.

coogar:

what an odious tool - only a nigerian male would put a claimant and a defendant in separate rooms and judge their cases! some of you men are what is wrong with that society!



so because men have not come on NL to report abuses, then they have not been abused? the fact that men don't talk about their domestic abuse means it doesn't exist? i can't work this out in my head!

jenny does not need to mention names - she could have just called out all the victims of domestic abuse(men and women) to come and share their stories!



it is - there's no amount of reiteration that can move my position. both parties need to be heard or encouraged to come out and share their experiences! this is a pity-party thread where tales of woes would be shared and nothing conclusive would be reached. if that is what this thread aimed to achieve from the onset, then goodluck to y'all ..... all that is missing is for you guys to hold hands and sing kumbaya!

I have a thread on male domestic abuse and verbal abuse why not go there and share
https://www.nairaland.com/1059020/men-please-talk-verbal-mental
It ran for weeks, you mostly came in, liked, left some nice videos, so i really dont get the anger here

24 pages and counting,not one man has come out to tell us how he was abused and how he got out alive..
Is it that they are not bold enough to tell their stories or what?

cotton101: Ihedinobi - ur avoiding me eh ok o!! me and debrief are still coming to the parry

Abeg no mind me o jare, e get as e be. Which pari? where e de happen? Na d kin one wey I fit show? Abi una go kidnap me if I come?

anyway ladies (i know i will be mocked for this) but I have to say this - it was not easy, for the first 18 months of my daughters life I lived with guilt - even after getting engaged I thought I have denied this girl what I had - a father. It got to the point that I fell into a deep depression this year cos I didn't deal with it last year and you know how it is our people don't really talk about feelings so I had to be strong for everyone pretend I was ok, i had survived and now engaged so why would I be unhappy.

Do you know that when I told my fiance that I needed therapy he agreed and said if that is what I need to get over it then he is fine with it, I saw the person for a number of sessions and she made me say many things out loud but the one thing she kept saying is

why do you feel guilty for allowing your daughter to grow up around love and not abuse - there are fathers and there are fathers - a man who got u pregnant and beat you up and showed no interest in the fetus does not equate a loving father. anyway to cut a long story short cos my lunch break is almost over and I need to start my online christmas shopping (we thank God for my job). through the sessions i was able to build up my confidence again, i'm now ok when my ex sends his crazy texts and just ignore him.

airpure - u know what there are many things i would have done different but what i know the first couple of years of marriage a couple is still trying to find their feet and there will be disagreements, my and my fiance has little disagreements but never to the point where he is telling me i am useless and stupid. I have great respect for him and what alot of men don't understand is that when you show a woman love she will submitt to the point of mumuism

anyway i have said too much

I think that I completely understand you. I had a friend who got on my case in quite the same manner. I've done everything that I can to break communication between us. Either that or we get physical.

You probably should try for closure. I don't think it's healthy for you that he can easily get in touch with you. Even if you want to keep the lines open for the sake of your daughter. I suggest rather that you find a way to keep tabs on him while staying out of his reach.

OK, my Thread title should have read : RichyvKunt, johndoe, guitar4life and those that came out with their minimum 6 inch d!cks and 12 inches maximum, come hiaaa. I gat questions for ya


WATCH THIS SPACE

debrief08:
I have a thread on male domestic abuse and verbal abuse why not go there and share
https://www.nairaland.com/1059020/men-please-talk-verbal-mental
It ran for weeks, you mostly came in, liked, left some nice videos, so i really dont get the anger here

that's the point -
doing it separately produces zilch - have you ever seen a defendant and a claimant situated in different court rooms? everyone should come together - the issue affects both sexes - why the segregation? men would lie on the other thread and women would lie here and then what? i reiterate, if this was designed to be a pity-party thread where woes of tales can be shared then it's achieved that already but if you are all seeking solution, analysing issues and putting a stop to marital abuses in marriages then this method would not cut it!

it's my opinion - you don't have to follow it!

slimyem: 24 pages and counting,not one man has come out to tell us how he was abused and how he got out alive..
Is it that they are not bold enough to tell their stories or what?

Why? Ego, pride, tough, stubborn, ashamed call it what you wanno call it

coogar:


so because men have not come on NL to report abuses, then they have not been abused? the fact that men don't talk about their domestic abuse means it doesn't exist? i can't work this out in my head!

Aiight, ya lost me at that.

It is time for me to move on because we are obviously not communicating.

coogar:

that's the point -
doing it separately produces zilch - have you ever seen a defendant and a claimant situated in different court rooms? everyone should come together - the issue affects both sexes - why the segregation? men would lie on the other thread and women would lie here and then what? i reiterate, if this was designed to be a pity-party thread where woes of tales can be shared then it's achieved that already but if you are all seeking solution, analysing issues and putting a stop to marital abuses in marriages then this method would not cut it!

it's my opinion - you don't have to follow it!

Oga Sir, Open ya own like that na. Matter settle.
Slap me back to reality but when did Nairaland become supreme court of comedy?

Lol, funny how you ignore irrelevant snide remarks and the wonderful breeze of unimportant just carries them out.

I can see the snide remarkers have left.

But coogar o, how is the fact that jenny mentioned the names of women she know who were abused segregation?
Didn't you see "and those that came out alive" in the caption as well?
Perhaps she should have mentioned the name of a man to make it balanced according to you, what if she knows no man who has been abused on this forum?

jennykadry: OK, my Thread title should have read : RichyvKunt, johndoe, guitar4life and those that came out with their minimum 6 inch d!cks and 12 inches maximum, come hiaaa. I gat questions for ya


WATCH THIS SPACE

This is serious emotional abuse na

debrief08:
This is serious emotional abuse na

Who cares? Shebi when I cared they said I was not being nice to Naija men. I am trying to be nice here,

Since simple English comprehension seems to be the issue...
Lemme help..

freecocoa: But coogar o, how is the fact that jenny mentioned the names of women she know who were abused segregation?
Didn't you see [size=30pt]"and those that came out alive"[/size] in the caption as well?
Perhaps she should have mentioned the name of a man to make it balanced according to you, what if she knows no man who has been abused on this forum?

Men who think this is a pity party thread for women,can you see the bolded or should it be broken further down??

^^ whoa, Whoa, WHOA!!!

Easy with the ink na! You wan blind person??

slimyem: Since simple English comprehension seems to be the issue...
Lemme help..
Men who think this is a pity party thread for women,can you see the bolded or should it be broken further down??

came out of where alive? from the marriage? you mean women have not killed their husbands or what are you trying to say?

abeg - make i leave una. freecocoa, you are the leading singer---the others would provide the harmony to the song "kumbaya"!!

Anyone remembers the Susan Ulner's case on Oprah Winfry? the AA dude that almost killed his wife.

imagine husband beating wife and asking their son to video tape it. Someone posted that if you have grace and poise, a man will not beat/hit you. Here was a great career woman who loved her husband to a fault.

"After the videotape incident, Ulner called a "family meeting" where he forced his children to call their mother a "white ho slut." Susan said that this was the turning point for her. Fortunately, there was a better domestic violence program in place in her county and she had a sympathetic work supervisor. She was able to escape with her children with the help of her work supervisor who was also on the show. Ulner Lee's grip on Susan was such that he made her call him everywhere she went, and after the police were notified, they were also able to record phone calls Ulner made threatening to kill Susan".

Susan story
watch the video yourself and be the judge.

Efemena_xy: ^^ whoa, Whoa, WHOA!!!

Easy with the ink na! You wan blind person??

nor vex..
I'm only trying to help the abused brothers in the house...

coogar:

came out of where alive? from the marriage? you mean women have not killed their husbands or what are you trying to say?

I don't mean that...
I know what kind of power the tongue wields as it is a woman's strongest weapon of abuse so Yes,some women have done so much harm to their partners with it but remaining in a relationship/marriage is a choice and if any man makes that choice and gets himself killed by not walking away,then whose fault is it?
......and the ones that got out,why are they not sharing their stories here like the topic asked?
Why are the men here feeling sidelined??

@coogar, dude, I'm a lil too mad right now to finish pp22-25. But I'll try. Before I go back my effort though, I think that it is very necessary that I tell you that what I have read so far from you is the most insensitive, anti-intellectual drivel I ever had the misfortune to see with my eyes. Smh

Ihedinobi: @coogar, dude, I'm a lil too mad right now to finish pp22-25. But I'll try. Before I go back my effort though, I think that it is very necessary that I tell you that what I have read so far from you is the most insensitive, anti-intellectual drivel I ever had the misfortune to see with my eyes. Smh

See as you hang me on the other thread, waiting with popcorn wey i send them buy for me for office, hian, now I have to burn calories without enjoying the benefit of ghen ghen.
Meanwhile, Engirish hian

ihedinobi - ur asking what party - i told u i have sisters and ur ignoring the issue after i went to buy red paint this evening