Safiya Aliyu: just pray about it for prayers is the key to all worries.

God bless you jor. Prayers thats all.[color=#770077][/color]

let her just be there and talk to him no more about the marriage stuff.
he is seeking advice from people about it.

he will be back when his fears are gone.

OP: Why are you drinking another persons panadol. Abi are you, "your friend"?

Does it matter who it is coming from? All these wannabe Inspector Gadgets sef.

Bludeville: So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.

Anytime she brings it up with him, he gives a wonderful reason why they cant get married yet. First he lost his job [/b]soon after he proposed even though she had a job that paid up to 140k at the time and he had good prospects and savings yet he refused to consider getting married even when she begged and said they should make it a very small ceremony.

He got another job but still refuses [b]because his future/career course is 'uncertain' as he is still young in his job. Outside of this, he is very loving and caring, always kind and thoughtful even towards her family members. Almost Mr. Perfect.

Do you think this guy has developed cold feet? If yes, what can this my friend do? if not, how can she handle this cause she cant wait to 'settle down' and start building a home and she is tired of all the waiting...

I'm sorry I am still waiting for the real reason why she thinks he has cold feet because as far as I am considered, he's had legitimate reasons so far.

If they had gotten married when he was out of a job, two months into the wedding you would be here reveling us with stories about how your friend is the only one working and her hubby just sits his lazy azz at home doing nothing and how your friend is now resentful because she pays all the bills and how he is not a man blah blah blah!

Dude just got a job, considering the state of the economy, how people are getting laid off and the manner with which it is done(The newest are always the first to go)it only makes sense that he'd want to wait to make sure he's had his two feet firmly established at the new place before taking on something as expensive as wedding/marriage.

Don't know what to tell your friend because as I stated earlier, I still don't see any reason why she would think he's got cold feet.

Bludeville: So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.

Anytime she brings it up with him, he gives a wonderful reason why they cant get married yet. First he lost his job soon after he proposed even though she had a job that paid up to 140k at the time and he had good prospects and savings yet he refused to consider getting married even when she begged and said they should make it a very small ceremony.

He got another job but still refuses because his future/career course is 'uncertain' as he is still young in his job. Outside of this, he is very loving and caring, always kind and thoughtful even towards her family members. Almost Mr. Perfect.

Do you think this guy has developed cold feet? If yes, what can this my friend do? if not, how can she handle this cause she cant wait to 'settle down' and start building a home and she is tired of all the waiting...

When you finally succeed in rushing him into marriage and he starts cheating/maltreating you after 6 months of marriage, you'll start crying. If he is not ready, he is not ready. If you can't wait, tell him. If the two of you can't come to a compromise, then move on and find someone else.
I'm assuming you are the friend hence the "you"

My sister,dat guy is nt ready for marriage.... I tink u shuld tk d next step... "ENGAGEMENT is when a man proposes to marry a woman in a few months not when he proposes to chase other men away 4rm her 4 d next 5yrs.Dats witchcraft"

Ur friend is on hot sit .She use 50:50, now audiance. She can consider d last option i.e walk away.

babe4chi: My sister,dat guy is nt ready for marriage.... I tink u shuld tk d next step... "ENGAGEMENT is when a man proposes to marry a woman in a few months not when he proposes to chase other men away 4rm her 4 d next 5yrs.Dats witchcraft"

you've done the summary my sister. Witchcraft it is. .chineke! I can't stop laughing.

tit_squeez: Leave story the guy has a lover in the spirit world. He probably only just found out himself and is trying to come to terms with it.

U be mfm member abi?

babe4chi: My sister,dat guy is nt ready for marriage.... I tink u shuld tk d next step... "ENGAGEMENT is when a man proposes to marry a woman in a few months not when he proposes to chase other men away 4rm her 4 d next 5yrs.Dats witchcraft"

OMG! .......#truth

Tell him u ar pregnant kia u will knw his mind. Or u cn exit frm where u entered.

Ramcie:


you've done the summary my sister. Witchcraft it is. .chineke! I can't stop laughing.

Lol... Na so dem go just pin u dwn sayin I'm engaged,15yrs go pass.... At d end,na d lady go lose...

@poster, y has it becom a crime 4 som1 2b truthful 2 him/herslf. Evrytim, som1 wil bring an intriguing topic 4 discusn bt wil deny being d victim. Pls try 2 say u r d victim so we can knw where 2 start and wher 2 end. Thanks

Well as far as I'm concerned o, the reasons he gave are good enough reasons to hold back on marriage.
If he is almost perfect in every other aspect then she shouldn't worry too much, mounting pressure on the young man may even make him less committed, that your friend should exercise some patience.
Abi you want make them marry and the girl go come complain say he's jobless?
I have a friend(guy) who is very okay financially atleast in the eyes of most people but he has refused to get married, saying there's a target he first wants to achieve before settling down, who knows this young man might be working on something.

Why has it suddenly become ur business or are u talking for urself?

k2039: You and your friend really know what to do, you obviously just don't want to do it.
If she cant wait,exit door is always open.

Billyonaire: The man in question has developed cold feet due to the trauma of the job he lost, he has been re-engineered to focus more on his fiscal foundation. The lady in question is selfish cos she is only worried about 'getting married' and not considering the guy's state of mind. What can she do ? Communication - She has to sit down with the guy and discuss finances, not love. Discuss on a back-up business that will generate alternative income for them cos the job lost has scared that guy out of his usual senses, so once they agreed on a back-up financial leverage, and actually start alternative investment the guy's feet will 'become warm' again.

God bless you well well for this piece! You took the words right out of my mouth and its worse when the babe presently earns more than the guy cos see finish go enter at the end of the day, no matter the amount of love they claim,I have seen it happen she should give him some time

@ OP, you seem to know so much about this your friend and her relationship. Did your friend tell you that it is a serious problem for her? Did you seek her permission before putting her personal life on a public forum? I think you are the "YOUR FRIEND".lolz.




Back to topic.......When a lady dates a guy for a long period of time and such lady does not really have much to offer with respect to being a great fun to be with, intelligence etc coupled with the fact that the said lady has shown the guy her all and he's been there and done that front, centre and back severally (I can't just imagine....3 years...hmmmm)before the supposed time or just a couple of times or once or twice, there is a natural tendency for the guy to feel a lil bit relunctant. The truth is that, most guys generally gets fed up with things easily and that is why those that her married even requires a lot of efforts by their wives to spice up the marriage from time to time so that the man can stay in tune.



Most ladies always make a big mistake by thinking that the best way to hook a guy is always to make him get into your family and vice versa, do his laundry, cook his foods and warm his bed etc (some of them are good but it is not the ultimate). What is that thing that makes the guy look forward to seeing your friend if atall there is any? That's the spice and once that is lacking, a guy tends to lose interest. The guy might just be looking for the best way to tell your friend he is no longer interested. Your friend seems to be more desperate for the guy than he is for her. Mark my words......The guy will cheat on her if they get married now in less than a year after marriage.


NB: I assumed other hidden reasons aside the financial ones given which could be an excuse cos he's got a backup, prospect and a new job.

Ramcie:

What is it with Nigerian boys like you and the fear of commitment

The high rate of divorce cases springing up

Bludeville: So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.

Anytime she brings it up with him, he gives a wonderful reason why they cant get married yet. First he lost his job soon after he proposed even though she had a job that paid up to 140k at the time and he had good prospects and savings yet he refused to consider getting married even when she begged and said they should make it a very small ceremony.

He got another job but still refuses because his future/career course is 'uncertain' as he is still young in his job. Outside of this, he is very loving and caring, always kind and thoughtful even towards her family members. Almost Mr. Perfect.

Do you think this guy has developed cold feet? If yes, what can this my friend do? if not, how can she handle this cause she cant wait to 'settle down' and start building a home and she is tired of all the waiting...

Sorry but that was very wrong of her. . . He just lost his means of lively hood and she was talking marriage, she sounds too desperate and he might just want to calm her down

Ramcie:

What is it with Nigerian boys like you and the fear of commitment

Lmao they both scared

Smuthx: She should leave the guy. he sounds uncertain to take a giant step forward in life-time commitment. If she has a well paying job, a little bit of advertise will attract able young, single men out there

Wrong advert

Bludeville: So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.

Anytime she brings it up with him, he gives a wonderful reason why they cant get married yet. First he lost his job soon after he proposed even though she had a job that paid up to 140k at the time and he had good prospects and savings yet he refused to consider getting married even when she begged and said they should make it a very small ceremony.

He got another job but still refuses because his future/career course is 'uncertain' as he is still young in his job. Outside of this, he is very loving and caring, always kind and thoughtful even towards her family members. Almost Mr. Perfect.

Do you think this guy has developed cold feet? If yes, what can this my friend do? if not, how can she handle this cause she cant wait to 'settle down' and start building a home and she is tired of all the waiting...

Check yourself this same thing happened to my cozin and I gave her this advise that I am giving you.( she just got married to her guy). Fruits of the spirit. Gal.5:22, unconditional love 1.cor.13

If a man, I mean any-man discover that you are his missing rib ; bone of bone and flesh of his flesh
, Like Adam he will quickly want to call you wife

The lady in question shld get a job for herself. It ll go a long way in helping the guy make up his mind as this ll help assure their financial future if d man loses his job again.

talk it out with your man once and for all thats the best solution and expect whatever.but create the right moment for that. you have to learn how to make your man think like a woman then you grip him. if you need tutorials im free

Ramcie:

What is it with Nigerian boys like you and the fear of commitment

its not just commitment its a lyfe tym of commitment dats y u need not rush in

hustla242: What is it with Nigerian babes and marriage, what's the rush?

It's a lifetime commitment and sometimes we just need time to be sure of what we're getting ourselves into.

so d guy (u guyz)didn't noticed it's a life tym commitment b4 he (u) engaged her abi?
or u want her 2 start given birth 2 her kids @ old age shéèë?

he shouldn't ve engaged her so dat odas can! selfish tin.

PLS ENOUGH OF THIS MARRIAGE STUFF.......WE ARE STILL BATTLING WITH BOKO HARAM

My first question is, how old are you both? If you guy are still relatively young, then you might consider giving him some time. The truth is that it's hard to find 'mr perfect'. If he is that perfect then you should wait for him. If you are not young, then give him an ultimatum to make up his mind before you leave him. This is important because he may dump you and you will be too old already. If he's got cold feet, an altimatum will assist him make up his mind. If he is not ready afterwards, then he may never be ready for you.

Bludeville: So a friend of mine started dating this guy about three years ago, and last year around April, he proposed, but till today, they haven't fixed a date for their wedding and haven't even started planning or anything.

Anytime she brings it up with him, he gives a wonderful reason why they cant get married yet. First he lost his job soon after he proposed even though she had a job that paid up to 140k at the time and he had good prospects and savings yet he refused to consider getting married even when she begged and said they should make it a very small ceremony.

He got another job but still refuses because his future/career course is 'uncertain' as he is still young in his job. Outside of this, he is very loving and caring, always kind and thoughtful even towards her family members. Almost Mr. Perfect.

Do you think this guy has developed cold feet? If yes, what can this my friend do? if not, how can she handle this cause she cant wait to 'settle down' and start building a home and she is tired of all the waiting...

HE IS NOT READY TO MARRY HER .

PLS STOP WASTING UR TIME WITH THIS GUY AHH' ENOUGH OF THAT I BEG.

IM SURE U MUST HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM, GIVING DIFFERENT KIND OF STYLES U OUGHT TO HAVE PRESERVED FOR YOUR REAL HUSBAND.


HE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY YOU.

He doesn't want to marry your friend. She should return his ring, and tell him "let's just date for now" and get back into keeping the relationship open. If he loves and wants her, he'll come back and make wedding plans (no job will stop you from going after what you want). Recently, a guy called off his wedding the night before the ceremony because "his office in UK didn't release him on-time". There are broke guys chasing women and begging them to wed. Your guy has been looking for convenient excuses not to even do an Introduction. He doesn't want to be committed to her.