My wonderful pple on nairaland.my name is dara.am a 26yrs old single mum.I hd my baby wen I was 24yrs old for d only man hhv ever truly loved.we meet few years back and things got serious btw us.though I knew I wsnt d only one in his life,wen our relationship ws 8mnth he took me home to meet his mum.and we got more closer.@ almost two years of our relationship I got preg and cos of. D fear of an abortion I decided to kip d child against all odds.he told me to get rid of it den wch I refused to.thru family interventions he finally agreed to it.I hd d baby and things was going fine.but den he startd cing his ex's.I noticed he ws kipn oda girls.D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ even go as far as calln me on fone.he started kipn secret frm me,he lies,I dnt knw ₩ªªζ he does or ₩ªªζ he hopes to D̶̲̥̅̊ .he even told me once dat he doesn't care if I leave him dat he's nt going to rush himself again@times he mks me fil like dis relationship is  force.but @ times he's so sweet and nice I get confused on ₩ªªζ his real intensions are cos he @times gvs me evry reason to beliEve he hs no plans for me in his future.his family loves me,his siblings and all adore me.but am just so scared of ₩ªªζ the future holds if @ d end of d day he lives me for anoda gurl.we hv  beautyful daughter nw and even if she's worth evry sacrIfice,I dnt wnt to live my life wt regrets of ₩ªªζ I shld hv done. Dt I didn't.so pls I nid ur candid advice frm matured minds pls.so I dnt tk  step I may regret for d rest of my life.forgot to mention we re not married yet.we only hv  child btw us.

It's better you just let him be, since he doesnt have any future plans for you, it's pointless hanging on.

You will be happy single than forcing yourself on him, besides their is a guy out there who will make you his own priority.

You will only be frustrated if you marry him, obviously you are not even a option or priority inn his book.

@shindarayo
i dnt no why he dnt want to marry u,the family loves u,i think there most be a reason
if it clear to u dat his nt goin to marry u,stop hangin with him,take care of ur baby and look forward,better now

What you are going through is sad but i am happy you are also thinking of your needs. You deserve better than what he is offering you. Take care of your child and yourself. Luckily for you he is willing to care for the child so don't shut him out of your child's life. Let him go and get back into the dating scene please don't be desperate and let toms dicks and harrys use you as they please. You are still a woman of value, while waiting for the better man work on your character and become that better woman. Don't just keep on being you learn new things and develop your self in every way possible.

Tanx U̶̲̥̅̊ all.really needed dis advice..its going  long way in making m tink

Sweetie, just cuz u 2 ve a child doesn't mean marriage is automatic. He is either nt ready 2 settle down or not ready 2 settle down with you. I knw it sounds bitter bt its d truth. Rather dan wait hopelssly 4 something dat may neva happen, I suggest u ve a talk wit him n find out where he is @ and well as tell ur mind. If he can't commit 2 u, let him knw dat u want 2 start working 2wards ving a family/home of ur own. Also speak 2 his mummy n family cuz dey might act nice bt its nt lyk dey won't ve an idea of what's going on. U kw hw cunning we Yorubas can be sometimes. Nevertheless if he is nt interested, don't restrict his going n coming with your daughter.

The more you stick with him, the more he disrespects you. Have a talk with him on his plans towards you, if his responds is negative, 'Take a Walk/give him space'......work on yourself, keep your head high, make him believe you can suceed without him, don't act jealous if you see him with other girls BUT don't restrict him from his child. He will be the one to beg you later if you both are meant to be together.

slimchi2k2: @shindarayo
i dnt no why he dnt want to marry u,the family loves u,i think there most be a reason
if it clear to u dat his nt goin to marry u,stop hangin with him,take care of ur baby and look forward,better now

^ That.

@saphIre,trying to talk to him always ends in a fight..d excuse he gvs m is dat he is nt yet ready to settle down because he is Not yet finaancially buoyant,and wen i ask if and wen tins are ok if he has plans for m,all he tells m is to wait till den..am so scared of bn alone.d annoying thing dre is dat i still hv an ex begging m to cm bk and a new friend seeking for attension even wen they know i hv a child.did i mention dat even afta a baby i still don't fail to turn guys head and get dir compliments.but my prob is dat am just so into him i just ignore any other advances inspite of all.and i feel so scared @times if am ever going to love anybody again.

Op where are u living presently,are u with ur parent?

Nope am stayn wwt him.

@shindarayo
u said he dont want to marry u and u still stayin with him pls shindarayo can u state the reason why he dont want to marry u and why u still livin withhim him

What's ur family's view abt it?

Sapphire86:
Sweetie, just cuz u 2 ve a child doesn't mean marriage is automatic. He is either nt ready 2 settle down or not ready 2 settle down with you. I knw it sounds bitter bt its d truth. Rather dan wait hopelssly 4 something dat may neva happen, I suggest u ve a talk wit him n find out where he is @ and well as tell ur mind. If he can't commit 2 u, let him knw dat u want 2 start working 2wards ving a family/home of ur own. Also speak 2 his mummy n family cuz dey might act nice bt its nt lyk dey won't ve an idea of what's going on. U kw hw cunning we Yorubas can be sometimes. Nevertheless if he is nt interested, don't restrict his going n coming with your daughter.

this is what ladies get when they try to tie a man down with pregnancy...she deserves it anywaya....hehehehe.

slimchi2k2:
@shindarayo
u said he dont want to marry u and u still stayin with him pls shindarayo can u state the reason why he dont want to marry u and why u still livin withhim him

she is dickmatized.