Ms.JuanMata:


errrrm Jidegirl calling people names wnt make your miserable life better. i know you feel it will but really really it wnt, so face your life darling, stand up to dt your wife beater or d man that molested your small sef,coz seriously im wondering why someone would be so bitter and angry towards life.
So slowpoke darlyn i knw whats wrong with you so im nt going to take offence luv just get some help for your sorry state.
Anyways i know you might come back to rant(as expected from a low life like you ) im not goin to boost your low self esteem with a response.
So takia Luv!!!

I think you are the low life . . . Classless hag!

Metalgoong:

I think you are the low life . . . Classless hag!

A bushmeat has just been set loose! awwwww its bin sometym i ate bushmeat! pls get back into the pot darlyn!

Ms.JuanMata:


errrrm Jidegirl calling people names wnt make your miserable life better. i know you feel it will but really really it wnt, so face your life darling, stand up to dt your wife beater or d man that molested your small sef,coz seriously im wondering why someone would be so bitter and angry towards life.
So slowpoke darlyn i knw whats wrong with you so im nt going to take offence luv just get some help for your sorry state.
Anyways i know you might come back to rant(as expected from a low life like you ) im not goin to boost your low self esteem with a response.
So takia Luv!!!

Eermm..... what's going on here? Now you want to shoot the messenger cos I interpreted what was said on a particular thread..... Hissssssss Abeg move jor and stop hating,

that's what you all resort to calling people low lives and low self esteem ...... hehehe like I give a FVCK!

Ms.JuanMata:


A bushmeat has just been set loose! awwwww its bin sometym i ate bushmeat! pls get back into the pot darlyn!

Your mental problem is beyond redemption. . . The Bedlam or Yaba Left wont even accept you. Your family needs to chain and dump you in one of those white garment churches in Nigeria and never look back.

^^^ladies behave!!!!
this is not a beef market - calm down or go and sip some coffee.

Nashville:
You have said the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Alot of our young girls these days come into marriage with soo much gabage in them that they create unnecessary problems for themselves. The bible says a wise woman builds her home, while a foolish woman destroys her home with her own hands. Poster, sorry to say, but you are a foolish woman.

If it was you mum that came to stay, would you be this mad? The Bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. But I do not mean it literally means you should stop having a relationship with them. The same Bible says Honour your father and your mother. His mother cannot replace you, it cannot happen, she is the mother and you are the wife; those two roles cannot be interchangeable.

If she complains about you, tell your husband to talk to her, it is not in your place to confront her. What if you husband treated your own mother or father like that, I am sure you will be excited.

don't mind her....
she needs to go apologise - what she did was inexcusable....only a wife who has no regards for her own parents would lash out at her in-laws. it really says something about her upbringing. i want to know what her own parents said about her actions? i doubt they would support such nonsense.

Metalgoong:

Your mental problem is beyond redemption. . . Yaba Left wont even accept you. Your family needs to chain and dump you in one of those white garment churches and never look back.

oh my days.... hahahahaha.

Metalgoong:

Your mental problem is beyond redemption. . . Yaba Left wont even accept you. Your family needs to chain and dump you in one of those white garment churches and never look back.

lwkmd! cool down jare you are about to be cooked and chopped! no pun intended

Ms Juan ..... is there a problem somewhere I'm not aware of? I'm very confused right now Have we crossed path before

Metal Abeg chill let her say what's bothering her.

Or is she Blazay / callotti again?!

Ms.JuanMata:


lwkmd! cool down jare you are about to be cooked and chopped! no pun intended

Most times, people like you who have incurable mental illness starts showing their cannibal instincts with their crave for any kind of bush meat .

You need to be chained right away before you end up like Clifford orji !!!

jidegirl12: Ms Juan ..... is there a problem somewhere I'm not aware of? I'm very confused right now Have we crossed path before

Metal Abeg chill let her say what's bothering her.

Or is she Blazay / callotti again?!

Am so confused too. What happened? Why did she fly off her handle like that. . Where is the hostility coming from.

Metalgoong:


Most times, people like you who have incurable mental illness starts showing their cannibal instincts with their crave for any kind of bush meat .

You need to be chained right away before you end up like Clifford orji !!!

hehehee you this woman man....@ least tanks for admitting you are a bushmeat

Bon Apetite to moi!

baby_123:

Am so confused too. What happened? Why did she fly off her handle like that. . Where is the hostility coming from.

I have no clue like seriously..... I swear she sounds like one of the mentally disabled individual .... She needs a PRN seriously!

She opened various threads about her hubby and MIL and I was very nice on one of them so..... I'm just dumbfounded at her sudden attack!

plaetton: @kobojunkie

The bible,in proverbs , afterall, talks about the virtuous woman, the woman is a joy to her husband. What are the qualities of e virtuous woman?
A virtuous woman does everyting to keep her family in peace and in one piece. She is respectful, she is patient, humble and wise in dealing, especially in dealing everyday adversities.

The true test of character is seeing how behaves in the face of conflict and adversity.

If you are not ready to condescend to accommodate the excesses of your inlaws, especially your mother inlaw, then you are not matured enough to enter marriage.

[size=14pt]The Bible NEVER SAID anything of the Virtuous woman NEVER LOOSING HER FUSE from Time to time. Even Jesus Christ lost his cool from time to time and that did not make him less of a Savior. [/size] For all you and I know this @OP could be a virtuous woman . . . an example of the woman in Proverbs 31, who knows.

Also, another thing I will like you to take note there is Proverbs 31 never talks of mother in-laws or in-laws being part of her family. It refers to her husband and her children as her family. These are small things that people like to IGNORE so they can continue to arrogantly spew tripe in the name of understanding.

Kobojunkie:

The Bible NEVER SAID anything of the Virtuous woman NEVER LOOSING HER FUSE from Time to time. Even Jesus Christ lost his cool from time to time and that did not make him less of a Savior. For all you and I know this @OP could be a virtuous woman . . . an example of the woman in Proverbs 31, who knows.

Also, another thing I will like you to take note there is Proverbs 31 never talks of mother in-laws or in-laws being part of her family. It refers to her husband and her children as her family. These are small things that people like to IGNORE so they can continue to arrogantly spew tripe in the name of understanding.

OMG.

So the proverbs never mentions that a virtuous woman should respect her mil, therefore a mother inlaw is excluded from those of whom she should show utmost respect?.
That is a very narrow and extremely infantile way of interpreting the bible as well as life in general.
You think a husband is like a custom made shoe you can just pick from a store, pay for it and then it becomes all yours.
You are extremely immature.
Let me repeat what other wise people have been emphasizing on this issue:
If you love and RESPECT your husband, or wife, you must extend that same RESPECT to your inlaws, ESPECIALLY your mil.
If that is too hard for you or anyt one, dont ever bother to f&%$#@ng get married.
A good wife brings joy and peace to a family. A bad wife, such as the op comes to destroy a bond between a mother and her son.

No matter how bad your mil is , dont start that war, because no matter how it ends up, you loose. You can never ever win.
Once you loose your so-called fuse on you mil, your relationship with your husband cannot go anywhere but down and keep sinking.

My mil does not like me. A fact that is well known to my wife. As far I am concerned she has every right to feel anyway she you wanst about me. She is a mother, and I see her and treat as my own mother.

I cannot ever envisage a situation where I would loose my fuse on my mil. I would never ever mistreat, disrespect or insult my mil. God forbid.
When she ties to exert or flex power around me, I just see as an amusement and usually my wife would take care of her without even a whimper from me.

Now why can't women behave the same way? How come men hardly ever complain or confront their mils or father inlaws?
You see it's a bad woman's problem. Good women, even under the most humiliating circumstances, always find a way to comport themselves and avoid bitter confrontations.
That is what makes a good woman.
I guess, a bad woman can never see any good, no matter how many times you point it out to her.

Kobojunkie:

The Bible NEVER SAID anything of the Virtuous woman NEVER LOOSING HER FUSE from Time to time. Even Jesus Christ lost his cool from time to time and that did not make him less of a Savior. For all you and I know this @OP could be a virtuous woman . . . an example of the woman in Proverbs 31, who knows.

Also, another thing I will like you to take note there is Proverbs 31 never talks of mother in-laws or in-laws being part of her family. It refers to her husband and her children as her family. These are small things that people like to IGNORE so they can continue to arrogantly spew tripe in the name of understanding.

I beg you, please stop talking about things you don't know. Do not ever write the bolded again. The Bible clearly says it is better that it is better to live on top of a tree than with a quarelsome woman and even in Proverbs 31, the Bible says the mouth of a virtuous woman is full of kindness. What this poster did is wrong! This is not to a stranger but your own MIL. Where is honor your mother and father? I'm sure you will say MIL is not biological mother so deserves no honor abi?

Stop talking about things you don't understand! And please Our Lord and Saviour was not "loosing His cool from time to time", I wonder where you get such from!

Ms.JuanMata:


hehehee you this woman man....@ least tanks for admitting you are a bushmeat

Bon Apetite to moi!

Woman, nairaland wont help you with your mental disabilities. I pity your husband who married a lunatic. . . Your hubby and MIL really need to keep an eagle eye on you mentally deranged hag before they end up like the victims of Clifford Orji . . .
You are on a looong thing if you think you can add me to the lists of your bushmeat victims . .

Nashville:

I beg you, please stop talking about things you don't know. Do not ever write the bolded again. The Bible clearly says it is better that it is better to live on top of a tree than with a quarelsome woman and even in Proverbs 31, the Bible says the mouth of a virtuous woman is full of kindness. What this poster did is wrong! This is not to a stranger but your own MIL. Where is honor your mother and father? I'm sure you will say MIL is not biological mother so deserves no honor abi?

Stop talking about things you don't understand! And please Our Lord and Saviour was not "loosing His cool from time to time", I wonder where you get such from!

what the heck . . . you highlighted my post but you NEVER offered an actual rebuttal to show it is wrong. Are you just here to argue for arguments sake or what? Please next time, if you have nothing sensible in the line of a rebuttal, don't border pretending you have a clue.

As I said . . .

Kobojunkie:

[size=14pt]The Bible NEVER SAID anything of the Virtuous woman NEVER LOOSING HER FUSE from Time to time. Even Jesus Christ lost his cool from time to time and that did not make him less of a Savior. [/size] For all you and I know this @OP could be a virtuous woman . . . an example of the woman in Proverbs 31, who knows.

Also, another thing I will like you to take note there is Proverbs 31 never talks of mother in-laws or in-laws being part of her family. It refers to her husband and her children as her family. These are small things that people like to IGNORE so they can continue to arrogantly spew tripe in the name of understanding.

If you have evidence, as in real evidence, then post it to show you have a clue, else sud off! I am done wasting time on you dingbats excuses for grown up men for one night.

plaetton:

OMG.

So the proverbs never mentions that a virtuous woman should respect her mil, therefore a mother inlaw is excluded from those of whom she should show utmost respect?.
That is a very narrow and extremely infantile way of interpreting the bible as well as life in general.
You think a husband is like a custom made shoe you can just pick from a store, pay for it and then it becomes all yours.
You are extremely immature.
Let me repeat what other wise people have been emphasizing on this issue:
If you love and RESPECT your husband, or wife, you must extend that same RESPECT to your inlaws, ESPECIALLY your mil.
If that is too hard for you or anyt one, dont ever bother to f&%$#@ng get married.
A good wife brings joy and peace to a family. A bad wife, such as the op comes to destroy a bond between a mother and her son.

No matter how bad your mil is , dont start that war, because no matter how it ends up, you loose. You can never ever win.
Once you loose your so-called fuse on you mil, your relationship with your husband cannot go anywhere but down and keep sinking.

My mil does not like me. A fact that is well known to my wife. As far I am concerned she has every right to feel anyway she you wanst about me. She is a mother, and I see her and treat as my own mother.

I cannot ever envisage a situation where I would loose my fuse on my mil. I would never ever mistreat, disrespect or insult my mil. God forbid.
When she ties to exert or flex power around me, I just see as an amusement and usually my wife would take care of her without even a whimper from me.

Now why can't women behave the same way? How come men hardly ever complain or confront their mils or father inlaws?
You see it's a bad woman's problem. Good women, even under the most humiliating circumstances, always find a way to comport themselves and avoid bitter confrontations.
That is what makes a good woman.
I guess, a bad woman can never see any good, no matter how many times you point it out to her.

Read my response to the other one of your kind who attempted to rebut what I said without even showing he has a clue.

plaetton:

You have two brothers. Good . But if their wives , or one of their wives,due to her own insecurities, wages a personal crusade against your mother and shows blatant disrespect to your mother and possibly you,Would you still expect your brother to look the other way? Would you even look the other cos it's none of your business?.

The problems that women have with men is that they never take time to understand men and accept men for the way they are.They always want to change or mould men. The mother inlaw always represent a grave threat to that enterprise. Why? Because women fear that the mil, a woman like herself, can read her and see the pretence and shallowness that might be lurking in her heart.
That may be why most women feel a great deal of unease in the presence of their mils.

Marriage is afterall, about understanding, patience and compromise. If you take time to understand your husband's deep attachment to his mother, why would you not respect that? Why fight it?

Isn't it stu.pid to compete for your husband's affection with your mother inlaw?.
This is one of the flaws of the female gender.
You are jealous of everything.

My mother never cooks in her sons house without permission from her DILs. Neither does she stay past two weeks except on omugwo. She is not one to poke her nose and just last year she thanked her DILs for looking after her sons and asked them to kneel before she prayed for them.

Not all mothers are witches. They are still sane ones

jennykadry:

My mother never cooks in her sons house without permission from her DILs. Neither does she stay past two weeks except on omugwo. She is not one to poke her nose and just last year she thanked her DILs for looking after her sons and asked them to kneel before she prayed for them.

Not all mothers are witches. They are still sane ones

That ought to be the way. I never could cook in any of my aunts or uncles houses without permission. My grandma and mum were the same way. So was my dad. It is called RESPECT but I guess it is lost on so many here.

You do not walk into someone else's house no matter how related you think you all are, and start taking over. To this day, my mother knows her place when she shows up in the house of her children. She may be their mother but she knows that after marriage, her position has taken backseat and now it is the turn of the kids and their immediate families. We are all Africans, so imagine my shock when people claim it is AFRICAN to be disrespectful to those you are related to.

He he he. so it 's all about cooking?
So this whole wahala is about cooking?
The women is away on her stressful job, he mother in law cooks for the household, she comes back and finds her husband, and I suppose her kids, enjoying a good meal, but instead of thanking her mil for being considerate and kind enough to have relieved her of the job cooking after stress filled day at work, what does the bad woman do, she decides to throw tantrums at her mil right in front of her husband.
She is probably a terrible cook, so mother inlaw's food is now a great threat.
Women, na wa o.

And this Kobojunkie person thinks its just ok.
I know you are not married, so pls save yourself and whichever unfortunate man out there potential problems and heartches by not contemplating marriage,at least until you fully mature.

babyosisi:

Any woman who is married with a living MIL has been where you are or close to it
If they say otherwise,their MIL has never visited them then.
We all make mistakes,refusing to learn from our mistakes is where the problem lies
Allow me to speak to you as a married woman with an MIL,who has been where you are at some point.
I totally understand your frustration,I have been there

First of all any married woman that thinks she can have peace in her husbands house while hating or badmouthing her MIL is in for a rude shock.It will never happen
Next to God,a man's other most revered being is his mother,you cannot change it,that is just the way It is
To an MIL no woman can ever be good enough for her son no matter how you try
It is also perfectly normal for a DIL to clash with her MIL at the first extended meeting ,there cannot be two captains in a ship
With this mindset a wife should prepare herself and act wisely
You cannot claim to love your husband and disrespect a woman who means the world to him
She could be a witch but to her son,she is all in all,you had better respect her ,you don't have to like her but you should respect her
Hopefully she won't be there permanently
Seeing how miserable her visit has made you,I hope your husband does the right thing which is to give you a break and let his mom go somewhere else for the time being.

Now,what is done is done
Your MIL has seen that you are assertive and can hold your own,she will begin to curb her limits but first of all go to her and apologize for any rudeness towards her,she may not accept your apology,she may rain abuses on you but go prepared for anything and leave it there .
You have to " kill her with love"
It is not easy but it can be done
You have to somehow convince your husband to send her home or have her to visit another of her children while you regroup
Men respond Better when you are not confrontational
Some MILs are tough,I am not saying this will be easy but confronting her will only make your husband insist she stays
Your are more likely to convince him to let her go when there is no conflict
Overlook her facial expressions
Some will even sing to you sef,ignore it
Just like when you ignore some silly posters here ,they eventually crawl away,get things to occupy you
Women's group
Old girls association
Alumni group
Do stuff with the kids
She will eventually calm down or want to leave when you stop paying her evil for evil
It works.
After this visit and you apply wisdom,I guarantee you the next time she comes things will be different
Anyone advising you to show your MIL pepper is a fo.ol and wants your marriage to break up,it will never work

God bless you ma'am... I was almost in tears I don't know where you touched in my heart but you have spoken out of undiluted wisdom.

I can't analyze all you have written in connection with what I have to say since I'm currently on phone and not my laptop.

Like I said earlier..."The Kind" of mother is what matter here.

Another thing is that the OP will DEFINITELY do the same for her own son. It's normal.

But telling my own mother to leave my house, is unacceptable. Ha... I just don't know but after what I saw my own elder brother turn into in hands of his wife, I have made it a point of focus that there is NO guarantee that a woman and I will remain under one roof other than her manners not even if children were involved. God help me.

To all the women that have spoken well, may unmerited favour meet you at your point of need. You will live long enough to enjoy your children.

It's a mother we are talking about here. Not a brother or sister or uncle. A woman like the OP who breast fed her son, went through thick and thin with him. Fought toot and nail to see him become a full grown man.

Ideally, mothers are jealous of the fact that, by law of nature, all her labour over the years has been 'stollen' in a space of a year or two. She hopes that a wife would be able to take care of her son as she has done. And I think what the OP should have done was to assure her MIL that "mama, don't worry, your son is in safe hands"

As long as this world is concern, I don't think any woman can sacrifice as much as my mother has done for me. Therefore, I cant tolerate and watch a woman whom I have only spent a few years with rubbish my mother who has been there for me in the last 30+ years in my presence. The OP is really lucky that the husband was cool with her.

God help me because a woman's manner is the MOST VALUABLE asset in my book, not beauty or s3x.

plaetton: He he he. so it 's all about cooking?
So this whole wahala is about cooking?
The women is away on her stressful job, he mother in law cooks for the household, she comes back and finds her husband, and I suppose her kids, enjoying a good meal, but instead of thanking her mil for being considerate and kind enough to have relieved her of the job cooking after stress filled day at work, what does the bad woman do, she decides to throw tantrums at her mil right in front of her husband.
She is probably a terrible cook, so mother inlaw's food is now a great threat.
Women, na wa o.

And this Kobojunkie person thinks its just ok.
I know you are not married, so pls save yourself and whichever unfortunate man out there potential problems and heartches by not contemplating marriage,at least until you fully mature.

Unfortunately for Nigeria, this here is an example of what the mothers have produced as the next generation in Nigeria. A sample wrought with no respect for the marriage institution and no respect for the rights of human kind. Sad ! tell ya!!

Mothers, please try to do a better job . . . set better examples for your sons and daughters so this cycle of humiliation does not continue for generations to come.

You are asking me if this is all about cooking? So I just wasted my time and all this time you've been blabbing, you had no idea what you were talking about? So you have just been posting without even having an idea of what went wrong?

Mschewww

plaetton: He he he. so it 's all about cooking?
So this whole wahala is about cooking?
The women is away on her stressful job, he mother in law cooks for the household, she comes back and finds her husband, and I suppose her kids, enjoying a good meal, but instead of thanking her mil for being considerate and kind enough to have relieved her of the job cooking after stress filled day at work, what does the bad woman do, she decides to throw tantrums at her mil right in front of her husband.
She is probably a terrible cook, so mother inlaw's food is now a great threat.
Women, na wa o.

And this Kobojunkie person thinks its just ok.
I know you are not married, so pls save yourself and whichever unfortunate man out there potential problems and heartches by not contemplating marriage,at least until you fully mature.

2sexy: God bless you ma'am... I was almost in tears I don't know where you touched in my heart but you have spoken out of undiluted wisdom.

I can't analyze all you have written in connection with what I have to say since I'm currently on phone and not my laptop.

Like I said earlier..."The Kind" of mother is what matter here.

Another thing is that the OP will DEFINITELY do the same for her own son. It's normal.

But telling my own mother to leave my house, is unacceptable. Ha... I just don't know but after what I saw my own elder brother turn into in hands of his wife, I have made it a point of focus that there is NO guarantee that a woman and I will remain under one roof other than her manners not even if children were involved. God help me.

To all the women that have spoken well, may unmerited favour meet you at your point of need. You will live long enough to enjoy your children.

It's a mother we are talking about here. Not a brother or sister or uncle. A woman like the OP who breast fed her son, went through thick and thin with him. Fought toot and nail to see him become a full grown man.

Ideally, mothers are jealous of the fact that, by law of nature, all her labour over the years has been 'stollen' in a space of a year or two. She hopes that a wife would be able to take care of her son as she has done. And I think what the OP should have done was to assure her MIL that "mama, don't worry, your son is in safe hands"

As long as this world is concern, I don't think any woman can sacrifice as much as my mother has done for me. Therefore, I cant tolerate and watch a woman whom I have only spent a few years with rubbish my mother who has been there for me in the last 30+ years in my presence. The OP is really lucky that the husband was cool with her.

God help me because a woman's manner is the MOST VALUABLE asset in my book, not beauty or s3x.

I hope kobojunkie is reading all this, instead of deluding herself in her fantasy lalaland.

Kobojunkie:

That ought to be the way. I never could cook in any of my aunts or uncles houses without permission. My grandma and mum were the same way. So was my dad. It is called RESPECT but I guess it is lost on so many here.

You do not walk into someone else's house no matter how related you think you all are, and start taking over. To this day, my mother knows her place when she shows up in the house of her children. She may be their mother but she knows that after marriage, her position has taken backseat and now it is the turn of the kids and their immediate families. We are all Africans, so imagine my shock when people claim it is AFRICAN to be disrespectful to those you are related to.

Of course you don't just walk intl someone else's kitchen and start cooking. Respect is supposed to be earned. My home is my home and my rules my rules. You either accept it or leave

Metalgoong:

Woman, nairaland wont help you with your mental disabilities. I pity your husband who married a lunatic. . . Your hubby and MIL really need to keep an eagle eye on you mentally deranged hag before they end up like the victims of Clifford Orji . . .
You are on a looong thing if you think you can add me to the lists of your bushmeat victims . .

it really amuses me when i see womanwrappers men going back and forth on an online forum , like seriously are you that jobless or dnt u have a family to cater for? Oh! i get it You want me to notice you Done! Ure noticed So shu shu away now little birdie goin back and forth with you is bringing me down to your level!
Have a blessed day womanwrapperwannabe!

Kobojunkie:

Unfortunately for Nigeria, this here is an example of what the mothers have produced as the next generation in Nigeria. A sample wrought with no respect for the marriage institution and no respect for the rights of human kind. Sad ! tell ya!!

Mothers, please try to do a better job . . . set better examples for your sons and daughters so this cycle of humiliation does not continue for generations to come.

And look who has respect for marriage and humankind. Big laugh.
Everything you post on this forum seem to clearly indicate that you have noooooooo idea what marriage is about and neither do you know what respect ct really means in a marriage. I am happily married for 14 years. At least I know what I am talking about. You are still in your Mills and Boom romance novel fantasies.
I can assure you, your Angry-black-woman front is gonna be a big problem for you.

Over and over again, in this and other threads, you never seem to understandt the main issues before you jump, head first, into the defence of a woman, no matter what she has done.
I keep wondering about your age, your upbringing and your sense of morality. The problem on threads like this is that many of you bring your Angry-black -woman syndrome to bear on any and every issue. If every corrective gesture from a man is abuse and humiliation to you, then don'e ever bother even attempt marriage, just get yourself a good di.ldo with a long-lasting duracell battery. lol.

But if you are a man, I suppose a young exhuberant lad, well, I have good news for you. There are lots of women out there looking for a pus.sy boy like you that they can walk all over,emasculate and castrate to be their cockhold husband. It would suit you fine.

For your information, I am not a male chauvinist. I probably have greater respect for women than you do. I am sorrounded by women in my life and I respect, protect and fight for women's rights and dignity. That said, what is wrong is wrong.
You never ever seem to see wrong in whatever acts of irresponsibility any woman shows towards her husband.
Any time a man criticizes the actions of an irresponsible woman, to you the man is acting like a beast, a bully and so on.
With that, I can almost psycho-analyze you with a degree of accuracy.

We all have our wounds from bad relationships.
Dont let yours always cloud your judgement. Defending women's rights and dignity is fine and noble. I am all for it. But call a spade a spade when it's time to do so.

A man builds a house, it is the woman that builds the home. I believe that women are the stronger sex because they have a greater and more important responsiblity in the home and also have the natural ability to endure a lot more than men.Once a woman abdicates that responsibility for petty issues, then the home cannot stand.

For the records, men are do far worse things to women. a lot of women bear all sorts of abuse in the hands of bad men. I pity them and would defend their dignity when it's time to do so.
Your posts are always the same, defending acts that are clearly indefensible, as long as a woman is involved. Maybe that is how you tell yourself that you are modern and civilised.

You, infact, we Africans, have little idea of what it really means to be civilised. It still eludes us.

Let me repeat this over gain.
You cannot insult or disrespect a man's mother and expect to remain good friends with him. That is fact , not fiction, and has nothing to do with being modern or civilised.
If you like heed it, if dont like, go ahead and try it one day with your spouse.

Poster, the way you handle yourself right from the onset matters, right from the moment you were introduced as the fiancee. You will have obviously seen this lace of respect trait in mama's attitude towards you but you decided to ignore it. Now you are married, you think you can just cut off mama from son, you are sadly mistaken.

However, no point crying over split milk, at the fix you find yourself, please the only thing you can do is apologise.

Don't let anyone advice you to do "stronghead" especially as your hubby as said his mother cannot leave. As many people have said, it is a battle you can never win, you lose each time regardless of the outcome.

I still even for the life of me cannot fathom how you can tell his mother to leave your house, na wa, was it not even too heavy in your mouth.

Even mere family friends at times, you have to be very diplomatic in the way you deal with them, you won't outrightly tell to get lost not to talk of your husband's mother. I still don't understand how his mama giving you the "evil look" links to you throwing the food away.

Remember, bi won se ni ilu kan, ewo ibomiran ni - that is simply saying "what we do in my town might be a taboo in another place"

And besides, in far majority of cases, it is the woman's mother, brothers, sisters and relative that usually come to live or stay in a couples home.
Most men don't have a problem with that. In most cultures, it is almost a given.
You hardly ever hear men feeling insecure about their mil,fil or her wife's siblings living or overstaying in their homes, talk less of directly confronting and insulting a mil or Fil. Unheard of.
Why is the woman the only one that imagines that she has something to loose or under threat when her inlaws come to stay?

jidegirl12: Yada yada ....... why can't people just be real for once?

Nothing will never or will change ...... If you have a good mellow MIL thank God for your stars and if you have the opposite that wants things done her way then that's your luck .....

these are people from different backgrounds that are trying to be one and make it work : MARRIAGE ! It's not a piece of cake!

like I always say boundaries boundaries and not in a rude way but with WISDOM( God bless you SELFWORTH ) .......

parents should train their daughters how to deal with stress , non violent crisis intervention and how to apply wisdom ,

nobody is a dummy or stupid but if you want a happy home and happy Hubby, you have to make some sacrifices.

( I just can't live without that Guy no matter how financially independent I've made myself), he completes me and I don't give a FVCK what anybody says about me being ' Nigerian' cos I am , even though I don't have the passport .

once again gra gra no do nothing! ( thanks Lagbaja)

Na wa oh . . . Are you so scared of the man you claim to love so much that you can't even air your greiviances to him

Thank God I married a man who I can still complain to about things that are not right to me, without standing the risk of being kicked out.

How you colcluded that this post is about gra gra is beyond me!

The woman has been tolerating crap from the MIL for soo long. When a bull is pushed to the wall, you know what happenes!

All I'm saying if if MIL has behaved herself, or her hubby had intervened when he should have, things would not have gotten to this stage!

I hope to br married forever, and forevere is a looooong time to spend kissing up to someone who is making me unhappy in my own home. DILs who take crap from their MILs are mostly on their knees every night praying for the poor woman to die so they can have peace of mind.

I prefer we all live in peace than one party making the other uncomfortable, don't you think