chaircover: To be honest, I dont even think that a DIL has any biz with a bad MIL. Its the husbands duty to curb his mums excesses and that is why I said earlier on that the wife should always aim to have her husbands listening ear. She should be able to talk to her husband about things and the husband in turn should know what to do.

Attempting to fight the MIL herself and without the husbands support will only end up with a loose loose situation for her and she will gradually find that she has no one on her side, no matter how bad the mama is. . . . and the day the wife slips up!!!!! the wife will find out how much she is disliked in the whole family. Even by people who know that mama is a handful!

This is super, and that is where wisdom comes in. You always have to deal with people, good and bad people, with certain degrees of wisdom. That , to me, is what makes someone an enlightened and civilised person.
This is fight that a woman cannot ever win no matter how big a tantrum she is capable of throwing.

Sapele_Don: @uju not one to say my deep thoughts in a public forum like this, but your childish rantings is starting to become more of a nuisance than an annoyance.

You are a disgrace to the institution called marriage if really you are married,as I don't see any man making a decent woman out of you with your gutter and wayward lifestyle,unless some trader who wants an educated woman as a TROPHY wife.

Our 'docile' wives did not go online like you did offering herself to the highest bidder.

In English its called P-R-O-S-T-I-T-U-T-I-O-N.

For those that don't know what am talking about,please go through her old post and see in 2009 when she was offering her services to the highest bidder.

So how many RICH MEN did you sample before settling on the joke you call a husband?

And you dare disgrace the institution called marriage by calling yourself a mother and wife?what a joke.

Uju you lack the moral grounds to say anything where decent,hardworking folks are talking.

If a woman can blatantly throw modesty and shame into the air and offer her services oneline,tells you how she was raised. Uju sorry to tell you this but you are a classic poster child of how not to raise a female child.

ASHAWO WEY GO HUSBAND HOUSE NA HOLIDAY SHE DEY was referring to you.

Afterall you want a rich man? I see no reason why you will not follow me and leave your husband behind if we ever meet, materialistic childish girl.

And you say your mother inlaw is complaining about your friends?I am trying to imagine the kind of people you will have as friends judging by your utterances,are they RUNS girls?remember birds of a feather flock together.

Some of us are married to well brought up wives and very proud of that fact, and that is why I get sick to my stomach when I run across gutter bred like you and your co-travellers who feel mother inlaws should be treated like a piece of scrap metal just because you are married to their sons.

Wives comes and goes(some of the best marriages and even longest in the world have been known to collapse)but mothers will always be there.

Grow up. Get a job. Get some home training and get a life.

ROTFLMAO . . . . I talk am na, he's not done snooping. I registered, in 2006 abi 2007? Abeg confirm for me . . .

I don see plety things for NLd . . . if they count rich men this one go add imself! Chei, dreaming things!

See person 'deep thoughts' . . . I laugh in Japanese!

So you want eveybody to be docile like that your village wife abi? Tufiakwa!

You wife will come and go abi? Good, then you can go back to the village and pick a new one, that's what people like you do!

Yes oh, your mother is the one you will grow old with, to hell with the mother of your children, afterall she's just a village woman who should consider herself grateful that you and your mother did her the favour of bringing her into your home . . . . Thunder fire your blockkus there!

My apologies to all the decent folks in the family section for going off on uju.

Have nothing else to say to her than wish her good tidings in her life.

2sexy: Yes I have but not until I know that when I do, I am on my right. I dont really care about the OP throwing the food away. Where I have a problem is the guts she said those words by saying her MIL will leave her son's house.

@ the bold text, That's because your parents gave her that hand! The way I grew up is VERY different... and one thing about me, I cant stand people with hurt temper and I dont intend to marry a woman with such traits because even though I am really gentle, or even gentle to a fault sometimes, there are 100% chances that she would not be able to stand my rage when I start mine. That is one bad thing with people like me.

That is why I believe so much in COMMUNICATION. I am no animal that wouldnt listen if my wife speak to me and I will surely weigh the odds. That is just me.

I believe that a child's behaviour is a product of what the parents tolerate. It is as simple as ABC.

My mother is no more and if she were, the best way a woman can respect me is how she would have treated my own mother. I repeat, I dont know about anyone's mother here, but no woman or wife knows what my mother has been through for my sake. That's why what the OP did so much touched me. I cant imagine what my mother went through when at over 9months( I dont want state the exact time frame cos people wouldnt believe), I was not out.

I am sorry if I come across as being too clinging to my mum, it is just because of the roles she played in my life. That is it and therefore, I wouldnt want anyone abusing her just because she is a wife.

I respect that you love and value your mother, she deserves every bit of it!

But when you get married, I pray she treats someone else's daughter (your wife), the way she treats you!

Your mother is your heaven and earth abi? Guess what, your wife also has a mother who is her heaven and earth and who loves her just the way your mother loves you. The fact that she's married to you doesn't mean she fell from the sky and should be dis-regarded!

These MILs have daughtes too with their own MILs. This world will be a better place if everybody treats their DILs the way they want their own daughters to be treated!

For people like Sapele Don praying for his marriage to crash, may God not let someone marry his daughter tommorrow who will also pray for their marriage to crash.

What goes around comes around . . .

When his daughters are considered disposable in their husband's house, he'll say the Devil is at work . . . SMH!

Sapele_Don: My apologies to all the decent folks in the family section for going off on uju.

Have nothing else to say to her than wish her good tidings in her life.

Please take back your fake good tidings, your two-faced Arrow! You think you can come on here and spew trash from your mouth and then run when things get too hot for you?

Amadioha strike your keyboard!

You dare call my husband a joke, on what level do you think you can measure with him All those 10, 10 kobo you earn washing plates for oyinbo men has blinded your eyes, rich man indeed!

Shebi I be ashewo abi? Selling myself to the highest bidder? God punish your generation!

Come back here and talk let me see . . . Idiota!

So damn hot in here...........run to take a shower.

Sapele_Don: My apologies to all the decent folks in the family section for going off on uju.

Have nothing else to say to her than wish her good tidings in her life.

You should not put yourself in position to judge another. She has a mind of her own and stated her opinion. Digging into her past is not necessary. Talking about past, in one of your post you were requesting for MATURED female friend and also gave out your bb pin. Also stating you don't want a student but matured femAle. That made me wonder, the same " sin" you accused another, you also did.

Humans!

Sapele_Don: 3155F4EC will appreciate mature female friends that live in the US/Canada or the UK since these are my primary places of residence. I repeat Mature females only and not some female still studying and want to be a bother to others.

Vikin:

You should not put yourself in position to judge another. She has a mind of her own and stated her opinion. Digging into her past is not necessary. Talking about past, in one of your post you were requesting for MATURED female friend and also gave out your bb pin. Also stating you don't want a student but matured femAle. That made me wonder, the same " sin" you accused another, you also did.

Humans!

Vikin, you are a proper CIA agent. Case of kettle calling the pot black I guess.

Sorry to do this but from your link uju, where were you when the said millionaire was making his money?

https://www.nairaland.com/310952/wrong-want-marry-rich-man

Vikin:

You should not put yourself in position to judge another. She has a mind of her own and stated her opinion. Digging into her past is not necessary. Talking about past, in one of your post you were requesting for MATURED female friend and also gave out your bb pin. Also stating you don't want a student but matured femAle. That made me wonder, the same " sin" you accused another, you also did.

Humans!

Hmmmm. . . I didn't even bother going into his 'past' (I dont have the kind of time he does)!

So he was looking for a girlfriend abi? When did this one happen? 11 years ago? It has to be before he got married na . . . And he has the guts to call someone an Ashewo!

Now I just feel sorry for his wife. No wonder he considers her disposable. Mad dog!

@uju words uttered cannot be taken back and uncharacteristically for me,should not have written what I did and so I apologise.

You are entitled to whatever you want to write but I am rest assured I have made peace with myself by saying I apologise.

And as jidegirl said yesterday, the family forum is for fun and nothing should be taken personal.

@uju I am not running away its just that I am neither a trouble maker or a confrontational person.

I am a father,husband and a man that knows when to take a bow from a situation I consider far beneath me.

In all honesty uju I wish you goodluck and God' success not just in your marital life but also in your personal life.

Over and out.

2sexy: Sorry to do this but from your link uju, where were you when the said millionaire was making his money?

https://www.nairaland.com/310952/wrong-want-marry-rich-man

I was making my own money so that fooooools like Sapele Don will no consider me disposable someday just because I married them!

I brag to say that with or without my husband, I can survive.

If your mama no get manners, she shouldn't expect respect.
Newton's third law of motion is applicable here.

Viewing this topic: flinspiero(m), ferhyntorlah(f), 2sexy(m), Ms.JuanMata(f), Sapele_Don, Vikin, Ujujoan(f) and 5 guest(s)

@Ms.juanmata

This woman, leave nairaland children's play ground and go find a real job !!!

Sapele_Don: @uju words uttered cannot be taken back and uncharacteristically for me,should not have written what I did and so I apologise.

You are entitled to whatever you want to write but I am rest assured I have made peace with myself by saying I apologise.

And as jidegirl said yesterday, the family forum is for fun and nothing should be taken personal.

@uju I am not running away its just that I am neither a trouble maker or a confrontational person.

I am a father,husband and a man that knows when to take a bow from a situation I consider far beneath me.

In all honesty uju I wish you goodluck and God' success not just in your marital life but also in your personal life.

Over and out.

Okay, so NOW it's beneath you Coward!

Are you done snooping? As a man and a father I expected better, but No, you had to succumb to the innate market woman character in you . . . Pity!

Like I said earlief, save your fake luck and good wishes for someone who actually needs them. I dont.

Come back another day and quote what I said from 2006, that's all you are good at. Jobless old man!

Ashewo 10 10 kobo. While you are busy chasing women on public forums, your fellow men are out there making money. May you not cause untimely death for your poor wife. Amen! Mtccccchew!

Metalgoong: Viewing this topic: flinspiero(m), ferhyntorlah(f), 2sexy(m), Ms.JuanMata(f), Sapele_Don, Vikin, Ujujoan(f) and 5 guest(s)

@Ms.juanmata

This woman, leave nairaland children's play ground and go find a real job !!!

Hahahaha see love!

stillwater: If your mama no get manners, she shouldn't expect respect.
Newton's third law of motion is applicable here.

My sister no talk oh . . . They will go back to the day you registered and quote what you said. If that doesn't work, they will call you childish and irresponsible and an ashewo. They will even call your husband a joke (na that one pain me sef)! Then they will start wishing you fake good luck.

Abeg my sister, don't talk!

@Ujujoan...U guys rilly went to far wit dis issue,bt anyway dats gone.Hope u are ok nw?

Vikin:

You should not put yourself in position to judge another. She has a mind of her own and stated her opinion. Digging into her past is not necessary. Talking about past, in one of your post you were requesting for MATURED female friend and also gave out your bb pin. Also stating you don't want a student but matured femAle. That made me wonder, the same " sin" you accused another, you also did.

Humans!

LMAO. anybody can claim to be married on this forum. See responsble man lookingfor girlfriend. I can bet you he is viewing this thread as a guest now. See as others were liking and quoting his posts like say na human being post am

jennykadry:

LMAO. anybody can claim to be married on this forum. See responsble man lookingfor girlfriend. I can bet you he is viewing this thread as a guest now. See as others were liking and quoting his posts like say na human being post am

You can be rest assured that your previous posts are also open on his system even as we speak!

Jobless man.

flinspiero: @Ujujoan...U guys rilly went to far wit dis issue,bt anyway dats gone.Hope u are ok nw?

Oga, sorry oh but I have a question. . .See you wrote YOU GUYS but mentioned one name. . .abeg who are the remaining Ss in the GUYS? Do you mean the other other people who took Uju's stance? If yes, then please what "far did they went" with the issue? Everyone is giving their opinion and they gave theirs. . .that they don't agree with the general consensus does not mean they did anything wrong.

However if the GUYS you mean are Uju and Sapale_Don, then I gotta ask why you are calling only uju out, last I checked she wasn't the one who flipped out and called some a P.R.O.S.T.I.T.U.T.E! She wasn't the one who wrote the epistle filled insult, she wasn't the one who questioned someone elses' upbringing. In short, in the back and forth between those two, anyone who knows Uju knows she was being at her mildest (no offense Uju ). So I ask again, why call her out?

Abi to you everything Sapale_Don wrote is ok? If that's the case, How many women have you called prosti-tute today? Is a term of endearment? Do you. . .you know get off on that? Please don't be angry about the personal questions, I just find people like you very intriguing.

Abeg don't nobody vex oh. . .they told us in primary school that if something confuses us we should ask.

Na wa oh, someone doesn't share your veiws next thing is to descend to insults and wish them marital failure? Seriously?

Meanwhile Vikin Mr. James Bond.

Its aamazing how we feel we must shove our veiws down the throats of others and when they refuse to swallow we descend to insults and gutter language. Wht works for you may not work for others.
Suffering and smiling while wishing the person vexing you death and sending "holy ghost fire" to consume them is not for everyone.
Nigerians generally like to pretend to endure, I used to do that too while hurting and crying inside not really enduring but suffering yet pretending all is well.

I have learnt that it is better saner and easier to be yourself and not to let anyone feed you unacceptable crap. Does that make me a bad wife and mother? By some peoples staandards it does, being a good wife means eating the most poo while smiling and asking for more poo

Sisi_Kill:
Oga, sorry oh but I have a question. . .See you wrote YOU GUYS but mentioned one name. . .abeg who are the remaining Ss in the GUYS? Do you mean the other other people who took Uju's stance? If yes, then please what "far did they went" with the issue? Everyone is giving their opinion and they gave theirs. . .that they don't agree with the general consensus does not mean they did anything wrong.

However is the GUYS you mean are Uju and Sapale_Don, then I gotta ask why you are calling only uju out, last I checked she wasn't the one who flipped out and called some a P.R.O.S.T.I.T.U.T.E! She wasn't the one who wrote the epistle filled insult, she wasn't the one who questioned someone elses' upbringing. In short, in the back and forth between those two, anyone who knows Uju knows she was being at her mildest (no offense Uju ). So I ask again, why call her out?

Abi to you everything Sapale_Don wrote is ok? If that's the case, How many women have you called prosti-tute today? Is a term of endearment? Do you. . .you know get off on that? Please don't be angry about the personal questions, I just find people like you very intriguing.

Abeg don't nobody vex oh. . .they told us in primary school that if something confuses us we should ask.

Sisi, some people just log on to Nld to call 'Ujujoan' and then go back to their sorry lives. Did you see me respond to that flip flop. The likes of warrior (or whatever he calls himself) have come and said their own and gone, more will be coming!

My dear I don't take any offence oh, I know say I don repent. Being a wife and mother somehow mellows one. I'm not like some, who after 11 years of marriage and 4 kids, are still looking for girlfriends and acting like children. Mtcheeeeeeew!

Uju... it is okay ooo. E don do. Besides remember that the OP has finally reconcile with he MIL.

Hardnut to crack I must say... You defended your end well... BUT mothers should be respected.

Everybody should chill.

Tiana155: Thank you all for your response, both the good, the bad and the ugly comments. The problem has been resolved thanks to my wonderful hubby, there is a sayin 'we disagree to agree' we are all at peace in my home now, my mil she is still with us and will leave anytime she wants. For those judging me you are all no better than i am. To madam Cc, jd, coogar, mac those who gave constructive advice thank you I'm sorry. i'm not crazy or a bad woman as some people said here, my mil said you are good when you make mistake and correct it yourself 'cos that what life is about. Cheers.

Happy everything worked out for you.

Everyday is a learning process and I am sure you have learnt valuable lessons on communication 101 with with your inlaw.

I have also learned one or two things from all the commentaries too.

Happy married life.

2sexy: Uju... it is okay ooo. E don do. Besides remember that the OP has finally reconcile with he MIL.

Hardnut to crack I must say... You defended your end well... BUT mothers should be respected.

Everybody should chill.

I'm not upset oh . . . Tufiakwa! I'm just irritated at a full grown man and father behaving like a school boy!

He has the mouth to call me and my friends irresponsible while he's busy looking for girlfriends online after 11 years of marriage.

My gutter upbringing is showing abi? Thank God I was still able to marry a man who doesn't consider me disposable! Can't say the same for his 'well brought up' wife abi

Sapele_Don:

Happy everything worked out for you.

Everyday is a learning process and I am sure you have learnt valuable lessons on communication 101 with with your inlaw.

I have also learned one or two things from all the commentaries too.

Happy married life.

It's too late to feign better person jor . . You've shown your true nature already! Carry your fake wishes waka commot abeg. She is not disposable like your wife. Her husband knows that and has settled their differences. Save your two-faced wishes!

Ujujoan:

It's too late to feign better person jor . . You've shown your true nature already! Carry your fake wishes waka commot abeg. She is not disposable like your wife. Her husband knows that and has settled their differences. Save your two-faced wishes!

Lol

Na wa o. Una just dey make marriage fear person. Now i have added an important thing to lookout for in my search for a wife.

My mother is sacred. i think What most women know subconsciously is that their husbands chose them from the image they have of their mothers. So they turn it into a rivalry thing. But the truth is dat when u have ur own child, u will understand y MIL are so protective. Can u put a precious, luxurious car that u built and fabricated into the hands of an amateur without showing some concerns for the safety of the car? Mind you, MIL have manuals of that husband of yours. And with a flick of their fingers turn him against you. MILs know what to do to make their sons happy (look @ D way the OPs hubby was enjoying himself). Y not tap into that wealth of knowledge.

@op: Agreed, u want to understand and discover ur husband on your own, but please don't alienate ur MIL because she can really be of help in understanding ur hubby better.

blaise26.abj:
Na wa o. Una just dey make marriage fear person. Now i have added an important thing to lookout for in my search for a wife.

My mother is sacred. i think What most women know subconsciously is that their husbands chose them from the image they have of their mothers. So they turn it into a rivalry thing. But the truth is dat when u have ur own child, u will understand y MIL are so protective. Can u put a precious, luxurious car that u built and fabricated into the hands of an amateur without showing some concerns for the safety of the car? Mind you, MIL have manuals of that husband of yours. And with a flick of their fingers turn him against you. MILs know what to do to make their sons happy (look @ D way the OPs hubby was enjoying himself). Y not tap into that wealth of knowledge.

@op: Agreed, u want to understand and discover ur husband on your own, but please don't alienate ur MIL because she can really be of help in understanding ur hubby better.

Word!

Ujujoan:

It's too late to feign better person jor . . You've shown your true nature already! Carry your fake wishes waka commot abeg. She is not disposable like your wife. Her husband knows that and has settled their differences. Save your two-faced wishes!

Lol. Abeg, forgive ehn. He don apologise. At least learn from what the OP's MIL said. He accepted he was wrong and apologised. that is life

.

Sisi_Kill:
Oga, sorry oh but I have a question. . .See you wrote YOU GUYS but mentioned one name. . .abeg who are the remaining Ss in the GUYS? Do you mean the other other people who took Uju's stance? If yes, then please what "far did they went" with the issue? Everyone is giving their opinion and they gave theirs. . .that they don't agree with the general consensus does not mean they did anything wrong.

However if the GUYS you mean are Uju and Sapale_Don, then I gotta ask why you are calling only uju out, last I checked she wasn't the one who flipped out and called some a P.R.O.S.T.I.T.U.T.E! She wasn't the one who wrote the epistle filled insult, she wasn't the one who questioned someone elses' upbringing. In short, in the back and forth between those two, anyone who knows Uju knows she was being at her mildest (no offense Uju ). So I ask again, why call her out?

Abi to you everything Sapale_Don wrote is ok? If that's the case, How many women have you called prosti-tute today? Is a term of endearment? Do you. . .you know get off on that? Please don't be angry about the personal questions, I just find people like you very intriguing.

Abeg don't nobody vex oh. . .they told us in primary school that if something confuses us we should ask.

Lolz...,i dnt see any reason why dey shuld be exchangin bad words wen d poster has already told them dat d case has bin settled.So i was like trying to calm her down due to d word d guy used on her dats all...So i havent undastand why u made dat long post 4me....