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10 Things Never To Say To Your Child - Family (1) - Nairaland

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Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by gbanikiti(m): 5:20pm On Dec 27, 2012
You dey mind the copy and paste op? This na naija so we must do our thing purely naija style! Abi shey make our pikin grow up come turn to another thing? Mba nu!
Sagamite:

Somehow, according to the mugu that wrote that article, her saying that will damage you. Maybe even for life. grin grin grin grin

Oyinbo don talk am. We have to agree. grin
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Sagamite(m): 5:24pm On Dec 27, 2012
4chi:

Thank you jare.. I tire for all these cut and paste. For me, the most important thing is to teach your child about positive values and the reality of what life is all about and not all these lost afrophobic children all over the place who are more oyinbo than oyinbos themselves...

Very well said!

I call them "the funkies"!
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Dipwater(m): 5:26pm On Dec 27, 2012
IYA NGBALI: My parents said a lot of bad things than
all these to me,I no die o,abeg make we here word jo all dis oyinbo theory no dey work for here


E dey work for here my dear


My mum and I don't have the best of relationship cuz of her attitude ,she nags and complains too much.
Nice write up tho ,and to add to ur list ;
Parents shuld always praise their children weneva they do well and wen they perform below expectation they shuld correct them and teach them how to do it right not cursing and shouting at them

Parents shuld Avoid bringing up past mistakes of their children weneva they do wrong ,its annoying

Parents shuld be able to build their childrens self xteem and make their kids have huge trust on them .its beta to take ur father or mother as a role model than one pastor that might have a questionable xter

Lastly youths shuld read books and attend seminars that wuld educate them properly on how to be wonder f parent


Thank u

3 Likes

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Agbgift(f): 5:27pm On Dec 27, 2012
Forget if oyinbo said dis or dat. What is wrong is wrong. There are certain words parents are nt meant to use for their kids. There is power in d tongue. The bible says out of d abundance of d heart d mouth speaketh. The tongue, is very distructive. That u want to correct a child doesn't mean u should use words that are hurtful. If such child start acting in d manner of names u call him or her would u like it? NO!.E.g calling ur child useless, people wil"l assist u in making him useless" and u won't like it. Everybody wants his or her child to prosper. Parents should always pray and Bless their children everytym. Stop d use of demeaning words on them.

4 Likes

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by ifeegee(f): 5:29pm On Dec 27, 2012
As a mom,I try as much as I can 2 put my anger in check while scolding my kids.I use all ploy excerpt the nagative to give them a piece of my mind.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Mospring(m): 5:33pm On Dec 27, 2012
tosenbaba: we grew up with these words,but i thank God now when i look back,thought they were bad words but some were used to set us back on track and make us stay focus and also to bring out the best in a kid...So its not all that bad for a reasonable kid
All this words are rather mild for a typical african child! like me, i endured and coped with much harsh and worst environment as a tender lad! but today; its been testimony all through, cos even does ma guardians are too fond of me now, and even appraise themselves for doing a good work in my upbringing! so, a reasonable african child should knw wat to expect in life.. cos this more like what our tropical environ demands...
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by huninaija(f): 5:34pm On Dec 27, 2012
2. “I know what’s best for you”

Every parent should know what's best for there child hence if the parent feels like the child hasn't made the right decision they are in a position to steer that child in the right direction. I would definitely say this..

3. “Because I said so!”

Yes, I'm the boss and when you're with me, you do as You're told. One must lay down authority, we are dealing with children here not puppies! I would say this..

10.“Don’t argue with me”

Any child who even dares to try and start an argument with his parents needs to be slapped, and the parent needs to re-examine his role as a parent!

Every culture/ people has there own way of disciplining his/her child.. Over here iv seen three year old kids tell there mum and dad to go to hell fire? Would this be allowed in Africa?

In my household we where taught that parents have the upper hand and not children controlling and slapping there parents up and down.. There must be respect and discipline!
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Dipwater(m): 5:36pm On Dec 27, 2012
inurmind: To all of you who think saying these things to your children isn't a big deal, well, I have just one thing to say, no wonder Nigeria is like this.


I dey tell you.

The negative attitude. I hate the most is shouting at the kids and using commanding tone to talk to them as if they are in a military camp. No wonder some guys always use shouting to correct their wifes.
 
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by PAGAN9JA(m): 5:46pm On Dec 27, 2012
WE NEED NATIONAL TEMPLE IN ABUJA! angry

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Nobody: 5:48pm On Dec 27, 2012
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by omenziate(m): 5:48pm On Dec 27, 2012
The only one my parents b sabi na " Spare the rod and spoil the child".

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by clemmonce(m): 5:51pm On Dec 27, 2012
some children wil neva sit up until they things like this.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Exponental(m): 5:52pm On Dec 27, 2012
In summary,
never kill your child's self-esteem, but rather build.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Nobody: 5:52pm On Dec 27, 2012
omenziate: The only one my parents b sabi na " Spare the rod an spoil the child".
but it's true ooh cheesy
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by tjskii(f): 5:53pm On Dec 27, 2012
Abeg let the writer of the article have kids and then see how easy it is to refrain from saying any of the above listed,its easy to give advice,but try living the advice,that na d work

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Exponental(m): 5:54pm On Dec 27, 2012
In summary,
never kill your child's self-esteem, but build.

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Sagamite(m): 5:58pm On Dec 27, 2012
tjskii: Abeg let the writer of the article have kids and then see how easy it is to refrain from saying any of the above listed,its easy to give advice,but try living the advice,that na d work

Funky philosophies normally sound very good, sweet and nice but they tend to be impracticable and on aggregate achieve inferior results because, at their optimal application, they have more cons than pros due to their lame assumptions.

Funky people need to wake up from their lululand and welcome to the real world. People should not follow or adopt something because it merely sounds good and funky.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by toluene12: 6:16pm On Dec 27, 2012
jammyng:

1. “You’re useless” or “You’re a failure”

6. “Why can’t you be more like…”

7. “I wish you weren’t my son/daughter”

8. “You’re such a terrible boy/girl!”

9. “You always…” or “You never…”
others like
you will never amount to anything in life
you this unfortunate child
you are like your mother
you this bastard child

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/singaporescene/10-things-parents-never-children-033158555.html
[quote author=jammyng]

I wonder how all these helps train a child, or helps a child's psychology and development as some nairalanders would make us believe. That our parents said such and left no scars on us doesn't make it right and doesn't mean we should see abusive languages and curse as displinary mesures towards any child. Its clearly wrong.
Besides how are we sure these words left no scars? how many of our mates(classmates in pry and sec sch)really attained their full potentials in life? dont u think those wrong parental upbringing could have contributed. Remember the tongue is powerful and the power of life and death lies in it. We keep saying whites dont know how to raise a child, yet they produce more successful adults and a better society. Maybe there's something we are not doing right and that warrants a deep soul searching.
I'm sure majority of those who see nothing wrong in this will also encourage their children to tell lies on their behalf.
pls, let all these acts end with our parent's generation.

4 Likes

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by J12(m): 6:17pm On Dec 27, 2012
Acceptable parenting norms differ across cultures. Most western families are excessively democratic. Children are spoilt with choices and freedom, a rarity in most African families.
You dare not tell a typical African parent not to scold his/her child, that's an insult to his/her authority.
So most of the authors rules won't work in a typical African family.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Sagamite(m): 6:22pm On Dec 27, 2012
toluene12: Remember the tongue is powerful and the power of life and death lies in it.

How?

Please explain to me.

toluene12:
We keep saying whites dont know how to raise a child, yet they produce more successful adults and a better society. Maybe there's something we are not doing right and that warrants a deep soul searching.

So you think it is the child-rearing that makes them have more successful adults and better society?
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by debosky(m): 6:23pm On Dec 27, 2012
I'll say I generally agree with 1, 6 and 7 - all the others can be legitimately used in the right context without causing damage to the child.

Like any other phrases/statements, all the 10 listed can be abused - the key is to learn how to speak/deal with a child effectively, taking into consideration the particular child and the circumstances involved.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by missblessiN(f): 6:32pm On Dec 27, 2012
I remember my mum telling me how fat and shapeless I was, she joked about it but I took it to heart and that led me to being bulimic for over 5 years! point is parents should be mindful of what they tell their kids because it goes a long way.

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by lagerwhenindoubt(m): 6:33pm On Dec 27, 2012
10 Things you should never say to a MALE child
1: Learn how to sign my signature
2: Here is the code to the Safe in case I forget
3: Never tell Mom who Anty Rolli really is
4: Don't Smoke until you are older
5: Don't talk to girls erh you could get em pregnant
6: Don't touch my car keys
7: Don't Drive Daddy's Car when he is out of the country
8: Don't touch any wine in the bar
9: Don't watch the naughty movies under my bed
10: Don't spank your monkey or you'll go deaf
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Sagamite(m): 6:38pm On Dec 27, 2012
debosky: I'll say I generally agree with 1, 6 and 7 - all the others can be legitimately used in the right context without causing damage to the child.

Like any other phrases/statements, all the 10 listed can be abused - the key is to learn how to speak/deal with a child effectively, taking into consideration the particular child and the circumstances involved.


I completely agree.

1 and 7 are completely unnecessary and are the only ones that I can see prolonged damage in a child.

6 is not as damaging, can even spur a child, but yet can be quite unpleasant for some sensitive kids that have completely different skills set from the comparator.

missblessiN: I remember my mum telling me how fat and shapeless I was, she joked about it but I took it to heart and that led me to being bulimic for over 5 years! point is parents should be mindful of what they tell their kids because it goes a long way.

That is mental abuse because most times, there is not much the child can do about it (e.g. being shapeless).

Worse still, who is feeding the child?

lagerwhenindoubt: 10 Things you should never say to a MALE child
1: Learn how to sign my signature
2: Here is the code to the Safe in case I forget
3: Never tell Mom who Anty Rolli really is
4: Don't Smoke until you are older
5: Don't talk to girls erh you could get em pregnant
6: Don't touch my car keys
7: Don't Drive Daddy's Car when he is out of the country
8: Don't touch any wine in the bar
9: Don't watch the naughty movies under my bed
10: Don't spank your monkey or you'll go deaf

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by senbonzakurakageyoshi: 6:40pm On Dec 27, 2012
J12: Acceptable parenting norms differ across cultures. Most western families are excessively democratic. Children are spoilt with choices and freedom, a rarity in most African families.
You dare not tell a typical African parent not to scold his/her child, that's an insult to his/her authority.
So most of the authors rules won't work in a typical African family.

In the past. One thing you have to realize is that Nigerian kids of today are becoming more and more like their foreign counterparts as we Nigerians accept more and more western values and systems. So, yes, some of those things could hurt the child if you say it to them and they can harbour a deep resentment against you for a long time. Why don't you guys allow your parents to choose your spouse, afterall, it was once the norm and part of African values and it did spawn a number of succesful marriages so it can't be that bad now, can it?? You don't seem to realize that Nigeria of now is different from the one you grew up in and that applies to the kids in it. You think after watching Ben 10 and Hannah Montana, your kids don't pick up a thing or two from them? You better start picking tips from these so called "oyinbo" lists because you'll be surprised one day, you'll use our "tried and tested" means of discipline and it wont work.

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by ITbomb(m): 6:40pm On Dec 27, 2012
@jammyng, you said you are not married, right?
Just keep to urself, when my daughter is old enough , I will give her to u to raise a good family.
God bless ur efforts
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by vanstanzy(m): 6:40pm On Dec 27, 2012
Never curse ur child orany child for that matter, but make it a point of duty 2 bless them instead. No matter how upset they make u, just collect urself n calmly correct them. It aint that easy all the time. But u as guardians have a responsibility to these kids.

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Sagamite(m): 6:42pm On Dec 27, 2012
senbonzakura_kageyoshi:

In the past. One thing you have to realize is that Nigerian kids of today are becoming more and more like their foreign counterparts as we Nigerians accept more and more western values and systems. So, yes, some of those things could hurt the child if you say it to them and they can harbour a deep resentment against you for a long time. Why don't you guys allow your parents to choose your spouse, afterall, it was once the norm and part of African values and it did spawn a number of succesful marriages so it can't be that bad now, can it?? You don't seem to realize that Nigeria of now is different from the one you grew up in and that applies to the kids in it. You think after watching Ben 10 and Hannah Montana, your kids don't pick up a thing or two from them? You better start picking tips from these so called "oyinbo" lists because you'll be surprised one day, you'll use our "tried and tested" means of discipline and it wont work.

Fcking well said!

This is undisputable.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by greatgod2012(f): 6:47pm On Dec 27, 2012
May God help us, parenting is such a tasking job, that one may not succeed without d help of God.
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by Nobody: 6:49pm On Dec 27, 2012
greatgod2012: May God help us, parenting is such a tasking job, that one may not succeed without d help of God.
Agreed
Re: 10 Things Never To Say To Your Child by huninaija(f): 6:50pm On Dec 27, 2012
senbonzakura_kageyoshi:

In the past. One thing you have to realize is that Nigerian kids of today are becoming more and more like their foreign counterparts as we Nigerians accept more and more western values and systems. So, yes, some of those things could hurt the child if you say it to them and they can harbour a deep resentment against you for a long time. Why don't you guys allow your parents to choose your spouse, afterall, it was once the norm and part of African values and it did spawn a number of succesful marriages so it can't be that bad now, can it?? You don't seem to realize that Nigeria of now is different from the one you grew up in and that applies to the kids in it. You think after watching Ben 10 and Hannah Montana, your kids don't pick up a thing or two from them? You better start picking tips from these so called "oyinbo" lists because you'll be surprised one day, you'll use our "tried and tested" means of discipline and it wont work.

So because the Nigeria of now is different from the Nigeria of yesterday, we should then change our mode of discipline, no?? So when a child copies banana montana and thinks its alright to tell her dad, "i hate you dad, you're a monster" this said dad should just smile, and say " its alright dear, i know i'm a monster".. Because i have witnessed this countless of times with the western style mode of discipline...

We as africans need to stand our ground and raise our children the way we deem fit not because Nigeria is changing or becoming enlightened but because we value our deep rooted culture and want the best for our children. What is that even saying about us as parents to our children if we throw our culture and values aside because Nigeria is changing and accepting the western mode of principles?..

The way some people think sha... undecided

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