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Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? - Family (14) - Nairaland

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My Boyfriend Wants Me To Give Up Custody Of My Little Boy, What Should I Do? / Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages / Keyamo, Wife Fight Over Custody Of 2 Children (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by nwando: 11:59pm On Jan 14, 2013
jidegirl12: @Nwando/osisi/babymama ..... I hear you o! I'm just saying what I would encourage if the guy is my brother( Reference to OP 's question) ...

bros chairman continue mourning and self preserve until your kids turn 14 o!

( person we him wife die sef don finish mourning and we are even talking about kids with a bad role model here undecided)


If this was my brother I would advise him not to waste one more red cent on lawyers,he has suffered enough.

Do you know what manner of allegations that is labelled on a man to make him lose custody of his own children?
Not even joint Custody with the woman as the custodial parent .It had to be some real Heavy stuff.
On top of that she takes out a restraining order to keep him from being within a certain distance from her and maybe the kids
Would you advice your brother to risk a court order and risk being thrown in jail?
I wouldn't .


Read the OP well,the woman with the help of her kids accused him of abuse
What type of abuse
Physical?
intimate?
We don't know,but it had to be one or both and serious enough for the courts to see him not only as a danger to his wife but a danger to his own children.i wonder how you did not pick up on that.

The woman can go and withdraw the restraining order for a start
But that may make a nonsense of her case against him.

This case is not unique,women do it all the time to get back at a spouse forgetting that the kids suffer too
This will backfire on her eventually and those kids will want nothing to do with her.

This OP is the woman's own relative remember
If she had this to say of her r own cousin,I'm afraid the woman is worse than she has been portrayed
My heart goes out to this man
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Nobody: 12:16am On Jan 15, 2013
I don hear you se....What next do we know would be her next havoc even without his contact?..... survival instincts? hummm..... I hope he Kuku cross to Ontario like cooger suggested for good and never return....it's gonna reflect on his tax papers he's still in the country if any allegation springs up again from the woman...

.and he will be arrested wherever state he's hiding unless he's working under the table which I doubt .... they will find him via his social security number.

For the last time ....crossing hands and legs and his 1k will make his self preservation effective o but NOT for a long time.....

I hope OP will update us months to come.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by emmatok: 12:22am On Jan 15, 2013
ileobatojo:

You may not have noticed but that's actually what the thread is about.

Thread title: Should he fight for custody of his KIDS?

Sorry it is the concerned in-law that started the tread and not the man.
Its premature to start blaming the man for what the are going through.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by lastpage: 12:27am On Jan 15, 2013
logica: If you've ever played the game of chess before, you will know there are certain moves after which no other moves you make can prevent loss/certain doom. They call such a move a blunder. The best you can do is prolong the game by making good moves; but then the game is lost anyway.

He made a blunder marrying your cousin in the first place (as judging from the description of your cousin, she doesn't sound like a woman any sane man should marry, date or even have a fling with for that matter). It's as simple as that. He simply cannot recover from that blunder, and any other bad move will simply hasten his ultimate doom. He has made a good move to stay in the game (staying away from her and their kids). Fighting for custody will lead to a quick checkmate.
Now, that's what l call LOGIC! kiss kiss

Lastpage!
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Abrantie: 12:51am On Jan 15, 2013
logica: If you've ever played the game of chess before, you will know there are certain moves after which no other moves you make can prevent loss/certain doom. They call such a move a blunder. The best you can do is prolong the game by making good moves; but then the game is lost anyway.

He made a blunder marrying your cousin in the first place (as judging from the description of your cousin, she doesn't sound like a woman any sane man should marry, date or even have a fling with for that matter). It's as simple as that. He simply cannot recover from that blunder, and any other bad move will simply hasten his ultimate doom. He has made a good move to stay in the game (staying away from her and their kids). Fighting for custody will lead to a quick checkmate.

This wise man gets it.

This whole thing is a game with biased rules. One side wants the game to continue, the other doesn't. So why is the decision not to play eliciting such a strong opposition?
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by lastpage: 12:56am On Jan 15, 2013
jidegirl12:

Lastpage; When marital conflict is at it's boiling point nobody cares ...so being a proud Mother is outta the skyscraper ...... I lived it so I know.... Nobody is patting this mom in question on the back NO! We were just concerned bout these kids.

What I think the kids will do to their mom? Well that's the core reason why Ladies here are campaigning for the Dad to be involved in his kids life, rather than fold his hands and pay 1grand worth of child support he doesn't have to....

Biola was talking about his monthly expenses , he doesn't have to pay 1k if he fought it.....legal fees? well that's part of parenting , and if he's living with them wouldn't he cough out emergency $300 for his kids?
You guys are just making it a big deal.

And yes he is WEAK .... DISINTERESTED? Well I'll have to know him to find out...

When I was 5years old and some old Aunt told me oh your mom still loves you very much and she'd be around when you're 14. ... I would for sure think shes crazy!

The only point Guys don't seem to agree is ; if he truly want those girls and raise them himself he won't be running away from a legal fight he's likely to win.......


My embellishment add on cool; I was at family services today and made a lot of enquiries about a 'messy divorce '..., you'd be surprised at the number of resources they have 'Mediation', 'just for kids sake', 'legal conflicts' and many more. ( with pictures of both stone faced parents and happy kid with his arms wrapped around his dad embarassed)
And David this applies to US residents too .

I'm neither on any side ..... I'm just very concern bout these girls that could end up broken soon in life.


You think he is likely to WIN? You think its 'really and truly' about the children's interest?
Nope, a Man cant win "the system" in the Western world when it comes to divorce.

The system is designed to beat a man down, keep him beaten and brow beat him the more, if he tries to just as crouch a bit!
Maybe that was not the original intention ...but that is the OUTCOME NOW!

The system knew that divorce is NOT GOOD for a family, especially the kids, they knew what they should have done, to keep the family united (preach endurance, tolerance, reconciliation,trust between spouses, do things the way our "mothers and fathers of old" did it).

But they are NOT WILLING to do those things because it runs against the "spirit of liberalism and feminism"!

So, they tried a "short cut" of forcing a man to stoop low and take shyte from his woman ..or else, MAKE HIS LIFE MISERABLE!


Hardly would you see a man who does not take pride in caring for his kids, morally and financially!
So, the issue of Child support is "given", even without a court compelling him to pay.Most Men would gladly support their kids when family break-up except in cases where the woman has poisoned the minds of the kids against their Dad and the children (ignorantly) are made to say and do things which is grievous, mental/soul-depressing to a father.
He feels sad that his own children could say and do such things to him (But he forgets they are acting under their Mum's influence and they are still too young to stand on their own, and should not be held accountable)

What most men abhor is when the ex-wife uses that same money to prop-up an extravagant lifestyle, use it to attract a Gigollo or just waste it on worthless things ....so much so that the children who are the intended beneficiary, are living in deprivation.!


Believe me, if the system where to come up with a way whereby the ex-husband can DIRECTLY FUND the children's needs, you will see that most men would gladly pay for everything their children needs!

The Courts know this but their interest is not actually the kids as they often propagate.
Their main concern is how to teach a man "a big lesson in life" for daring to be free from a woman that makes his life miserable!


I would not be saying anything new if l said women generally feel and know that the worst way to get back and hit at a man is his children.

It is the most pain you can inflict on any man .... forget all the bravado men make!

after inflicting such "pain", most men will still try to find a way to see those kids (which l think is your point?).

But ..and this is a "big BUT".... when it comes to the point where a man has to MAKE A CHOICE between "Staying FREE" (as in No jail time, no criminal records, e.t.c) ....OR.... being able to see his Children, any rational man would STAY AWAY from the children.
A SMART MAN MUST NOT SUFFER "DOUBLE JEOPARDY"! angry angry
Being separated from your children is punishment enough.

With time, when the children grow-up and their Mother is not in a position to speak on their behalf or take decisions for them, its their choice to find-out the truth, try have a relationship with their father (who will be more than willing to open-up and love them unconditionally) or to keep to themselves.

Its a "Devil's alternative for the man, either way, he will still lose, just like "Logica" exemplified.

Lastpage!

3 Likes

Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 12:58am On Jan 15, 2013
ileobatojo:
You may not have noticed but that's actually what the thread is about.

Thread title: Should he fight for custody of his KIDS?

he shouldn't fight nada.
i would try as much as possible to avoid anything that would bring me in contact with this witch of a woman. my children would grow up one day and become independent. then i would explain my absence to them. the woman wants the game to persist and the man is refusing to do the dance of shame with her. that's common sense - to hell with the woman and her demonic antics.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by lastpage: 1:02am On Jan 15, 2013
When I was just a little baby boy
My momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man
She used to tell me he hated me

But then I got a little bit older
And I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothing I could do or say to try to change it
Cause that's just the way she was


I said, I'm sorry momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet


Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin'
But put yourself in my position, just try to envision
Witnessin' your momma poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin' that someone's always goin' through her purse and poo's missin'
Goin' through public housin' systems,
victim of Munchausen's syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'Til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to your stomach
Doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that C.D. for me Ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me ma? But guess what?
You're gettin older now and it's cold when you're lonely
And Nathan's growin' up so quick, he's gonna know that you're phony
And Hailie's gettin' so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful
But you'll never see her, she won't even be at your funeral
See, what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong
Naughty Lady, do your song, keep tellin' yourself that you was a mom
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
You selfish Naughty Lady, I hope you fuckin' burn in hell for this poo
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well, guess what, I am dead, dead to you as can be

I think the above is the lyrics of a rap song?
Can anyone tell me the Artists name and Title?

Some of these "Gangsters" say things you will not believe, is coming from their "Ganja-infested minds". kiss grin grin

I hope our Mums would read those lyrics and ponder over it.
My prayer is that we would not bring children into this world and by our 'actions and inactions', make them say things like the above about us.



Quarrel with the Dad if need be, live apart if thats the only solution but NEVER USE THE CHILDREN TO GET BACK AT HIM OR AS A WEAPON IN THE COURTS.
What goes around will eventually come around, in my opinion.


Lastpage!
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by A40(m): 1:14am On Jan 15, 2013
Abrantie:

This wise man gets it.

This whole thing is a game with biased rules. One side wants the game to continue, the other doesn't. So why is the decision not to play eliciting such a strong opposition?
They want a man to keep fighting a losing battle and drag himself into financial and emotional ruin plus potential jail time to prove he loves his kids. E fe kpa omolomo fun mama oni mama! Pity the man he has parents too
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by nwando: 1:19am On Jan 15, 2013
As usual the kids suffer
I am a woman o and I am all for women and children's rights but I have seen wicked women turn their husband's heart away from the kids permanently
I know a woman that alleged that her husband was about to kill her and the kids with juju, she fed the children these stories and eventually fled in the dead of the night without informing anyone where she went.
Everyone who knew him could not believe that a wife he loved dearly could hurt him that much.
This man went through pain and agony not seeing the children he loved so much,weeks turned to months then years.
By the time she came back to her senses about 3 years later and came abegging,it was too late,he had moved on,found love again and remarried and closed that ugly chapter of his life
Who lost out?
The kids.

Women can be very nasty in divorce and use the children to achieve their aim then complain that the man is distant from the kids when that was her making
I have witnessed a few

1 Like

Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by A40(m): 1:26am On Jan 15, 2013
lastpage:

I think the above is the lyrics of a rap song?
Can anyone tell me the Artists name and Title?

Some of these "Gangsters" say things you will not believe, is coming from their "Ganja-infested minds". kiss grin grin

I hope our Mums would read those lyrics and ponder over it.
My prayer is that we would not bring children into this world and by our 'actions and inactions', make them say things like the above about us.



Quarrel with the Dad if need be, live apart if thats the only solution but NEVER USE THE CHILDREN TO GET BACK AT HIM OR AS A WEAPON IN THE COURTS.
What goes around will eventually

Lastpage!
That song was by Eminem 'Cleanin out ma closet'
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by biolabee(m): 1:36am On Jan 15, 2013
good balanced POV from nwando!
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by SisiKill1: 2:14am On Jan 15, 2013
nwando:

As usual the kids suffer

I am a woman o and I am all for women and children's rights but I have seen wicked women turn their husband's heart away from the kids permanently
I know a woman that alleged that her husband was about to kill her and the kids with juju, she fed the children these stories and eventually fled in the dead of the night without informing anyone where she went.

Everyone who knew him could not believe that a wife he loved dearly could hurt him that much.
This man went through pain and agony not seeing the children he loved so much,weeks turned to months then years.

By the time she came back to her senses about 3 years later and came abegging,it was too late,he had moved on,found love again and remarried and closed that ugly chapter of his life


Who lost out?
The kids.


Women can be very nasty in divorce and use the children to achieve their aim then complain that the man is distant from the kids when that was her making
I have witnessed a few


Osisi. ...you are saying exactly what many of us have been saying. IT IS ABOUT THE CHILDREN. ...and how to minimize their suffering. I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be to be told nasty things about your dad. ...YOUR DAD. Some way, some how these children won't want to believe it. ..they will be looking for something. ...anything to counter what they are hearing and what better way to do that than having the dad who acts completely opposite to the lies they are being fed? His absence will only validate her lies.


@ Topic
People are quoting Eminem. ....the fact that he found his mother lied to him when he was an adult does not erase the painful life he had. Hating his mother today does not cancel out his utterly miserable childhood. Eminem was a very very angry child and even angrier adult. ...if he hadn't found solace in music. ...where would he be today? Even he himself will tell you he would either be in jail or in a grave.

Going by what OP has laid out...One won't be totally wrong in saying the mom is not stable. Why on earth would you want that kinda person as the most influential person in your children's lives? I don't just get it.


And for the last time. ...NO ONE SUPPORTS THE WOMAN!!! I don't know where the disconnect is coming from but people seem to think if we aren't saying "Run daddy run for your life". ...we are on the woman's side. Hate to break it to y'all but there is a third side to this. ....THE CHILDREN. People are talking about winning and losing like it's a game. God help us.

The dead horse has already turned to rug. ...ojare.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by logica(m): 2:23am On Jan 15, 2013
Sisi_Kill:
One won't be totally wrong in saying the mom is not stable. Why on earth would you want that kinda person as the most influential person in your children's lives? I don't just get it.
Unfortunately, the man goofed and made kids with an unstable woman. Now she's put him in a VERY bad position that he's practically fighting to keep his head above water. Now you tell me; can a drowning man save another from drowning? You need to first save yourself, before you can then try to save the lives of others otherwise you may all drown together.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by nwando: 2:26am On Jan 15, 2013
logica: Unfortunately, the man goofed and made kids with an unstable woman. Now she's put him in a VERY bad position that he's practically fighting to keep his head above water. Now you tell me; can a drowning man save another from drowning? You need to first save yourself, before you can then try to save the lives of others otherwise you may all drown together.

You summarized it well
Why would a sane man continue to fight with an insane woman who already has the courts on her side?
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by ronkebp(f): 2:27am On Jan 15, 2013
This post is about "the children" it has nothing to do with who wins in a marraige, whether it is a man or woman that wins, is not important. But just because there is a conflict between the father and mother of 2 or 3 children, should not mean that either one (father or mother) have the right to abandon their children. Those kids were brought into this world to be taken care off, taught and also respected as fellow human beings.

If a father or mother thinks he or she has the right to abandon his/her kids because of a row, he/she should be ready to be abandoned by those same kids when they are grown. it is what they sow that they will reap. The kids have eyes,do you think they would leave their "insane" mother who took care of them for a "sane" man who was not there for them?
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by nwando: 2:28am On Jan 15, 2013
Sisi_Kill:

Osisi. ...you are saying exactly what many of us have been saying. IT IS ABOUT THE CHILDREN. ...and how to minimize their suffering. I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be to be told nasty things about your dad. ...YOUR DAD. Some way, some how these children won't want to believe it. ..they will be looking for something. ...anything to counter what they are hearing and what better way to do that than having the dad who acts completely opposite to the lies they are being fed? His absence will only validate her lies.


Going by what OP has laid out...One won't be totally wrong in saying the mom is not stable. Why on earth would you want that kinda person as the most influential person in your children's lives? I don't just get it.


Time will determine that
Continuing to fight with a woman you think is insane is fruitless,you will only come out with more injuries since a mad person has no limits.
It is his pocket suffering ,he still has a life to live and pay the child support on top
She wanted the kids,told lies to get them, the courts agreed with her,let her have them

This is sometimes the handiwork of evil friends that cheer some women onto the divorce courts rather than tell them to stop being foolish
Eye go clear am soon
I bet you those friends are long gone,some back to their husband's beds
Na today?
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by logica(m): 2:38am On Jan 15, 2013
ronkebp:
If a father or mother thinks he or she has the right to abandon his/her kids because of a row, he/she should be ready to be abandoned by those same kids when they are grown. it is what they sow that they will reap. The kids have eyes,do you think they would leave their "insane" mother who took care of them for a "sane" man who was not there for them?

Paying $1000/month child support sounds like "abandonment" to you? Can YOU afford to pay anybody $1000 every month without you drinking garri without sugar for the rest of your life?

Yes, the kids have eyes and hopefully they have brains to process too. When they are grown, their father will not need them for anything except he's using the Nigerian Welfare System where old people depend on their children. So if they use their brains well, they will determine who the problem is here, at best. At worst, they turn into men-hating psychotic b!tche$ and join the burgeoning ranks of such a club in the US of A; and they will fit very well into "society". smiley
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by SisiKill1: 2:39am On Jan 15, 2013
ronkebp: This post is about "the children" it has nothing to do with who wins in a marraige, whether it is a man or woman that wins, is not important. But just because there is a conflict between the father and mother of 2 or 3 children, should not mean that either one (father or mother) have the right to abandon their children. Those kids were brought into this world to be taken care off, taught and also respected as fellow human beings.

If a father or mother thinks he or she has the right to abandon his/her kids because of a row, he/she should be ready to be abandoned by those same kids when they are grown. it is what they sow that they will reap. The kids have eyes,do you think they would leave their "insane" mother who took care of them for a "sane" man who was not there for them?

Succinctly put! Very Very well said!!!!
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by nwando: 2:43am On Jan 15, 2013
Is he even allowed to see the kids?
Does anyone know?
I wish the OP could talk more
What were the abuse allegations and did she allege abuse of the kids?
There is already a restraining order,does it include him keeping away from the kids for their safety?
Without these answers people will be making suggestions in ignorance
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Mrsmansson(f): 2:44am On Jan 15, 2013
To me oh,since its 7 months and not 7 years I believe the father of the kids might come around some time later.everyone handles situations in different ways.let him take some time to clear his head.the ex wife had dealt with him seriously.its not easy abeg.The kids are very okay,who said they won't be?.kids only miss their dad when they were really close.my dad wasn't really present in my life am I not ok here?anyway maybe its because of the naija harsh economy,any way we struggle to survive.I didn't end up in the hands of a wrong guy.didn't get pregnant,started dating when I was in the uni even.I have so much self esteem,I always knew I was so intelligent,smart and pretty an I had so much love from my siblings and my precious mum.I didn't/dont feel the absence of a father till date.so wat am I trying to say?I believe their dad would eventually come around but for the time he will be absent from their lives the girls will do just fine if brought up properly(which I doubt because of their kind of mum)
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by ronkebp(f): 2:47am On Jan 15, 2013
logica:

Paying $1000/month child support sounds like "abandonment" to you? Can YOU afford to pay anybody $1000 every month without you drinking garri without sugar for the rest of your life?

So to you, sending money to your children will make up for those little times you spend with your children? especially having the opportunity to watch them grow? the money will be the listening ears they will need when they have one complaint or the other? the money will take them to games and even a time to roll on the floor with your kids? the money will be the one to scold them when they are wrong? the money cannot take the position of either parent in the life of those children, so no matter the millions that was sent, it would be acknowledged by their mother only, all the kids want is their father and mother.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by logica(m): 2:50am On Jan 15, 2013
ronkebp:

So to you, sending money to your children will make up for those little times you spend with your children? especially having the opportunity to watch them grow? the money will be the listening ears they will need when they have one complaint or the other? the money will take them to games and even a time to roll on the floor with your kids? the money will be the one to scold them when they are wrong? the money cannot take the position of either parent in the life of those children, so no matter the millions that was sent, it would be acknowledged by their mother only, all the kids want is their father or mother.
Once again, does sending $1000 a month as child support sound like "abandonment" to you? Spare me all that "blah blah" you wrote up there. Yes or no please. Once you answer, I will paint the true picture of "abandonment" for you. I hope you have an artistic mind. smiley
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by nwando: 2:51am On Jan 15, 2013
ronkebp:

So to you, sending money to your children will make up for those little times you spend with your children? especially having the opportunity to watch them grow? the money will be the listening ears they will need when they have one complaint or the other? the money will take them to games and even a time to roll on the floor with your kids? the money will be the one to scold them when they are wrong? the money cannot take the position of either parent in the life of those children, so no matter the millions that was sent, it would be acknowledged by their mother only, all the kids want is their father or mother.

He did not quit the marriage remember?
He lost custody in court from the woman's cooked up stories plus a court injunction slammed for him to keep away from her (and maybe the kids )
What do people suggest this man does?
People are just talking for talking sake
There is a specific issue here being discussed and those are the facts we know
You are going off a tangent not related

2 Likes

Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by ileobatojo: 2:52am On Jan 15, 2013
nwando: Is he even allowed to see the kids?
Does anyone know?
I wish the OP could talk more
What were the abuse allegations and did she allege abuse of the kids?
There is already a restraining order,does it include him keeping away from the kids for their safety?
Without these answers people will be making suggestions in ignorance

Some answers. And yes, I wish the OP would come back, though it seems she has made up her mind not to.

Woged2005:

Yes ma you are absolutely correct. God Bless you.

I asked the mediator, she said the restraining order did not include the children. There was also a visitation order in place with drop off and pick up location. But the wife formed the habit of rushing to her lawyer to file allegations of abuse/ neglect each time the kids came back from their dad's house. One was an allegation by the wife that the dad kept alcoholic wine in his refrigerator at the reach of the kids during visitation. though that was not investigated. The mediator said these types of allegations made the man to restrain himself. The mediator said the man bought the kids a prepaid contact phone, which his wife has turned off or thrown away. So he's scared of his wife's determined efforts to either have locked up or have a costly legal fight. Now you can see my anger with my own cousin. If true, these actions are uncalled for.

What I don't understand is why her husband doesn't have his own lawyer to take on the other lawyer heads on? He's very educated and has a stable job. I may have to hands off from this case.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by dayokanu(m): 2:54am On Jan 15, 2013
ronkebp:

So to you, sending money to your children will make up for those little times you spend with your children? especially having the opportunity to watch them grow? the money will be the listening ears they will need when they have one complaint or the other? the money will take them to games and even a time to roll on the floor with your kids? the money will be the one to scold them when they are wrong? the money cannot take the position of either parent in the life of those children, so no matter the millions that was sent, it would be acknowledged by their mother only, all the kids want is their father and mother.

So how would he get into the kids life without getting into jail in the process?

Or going to jail is part of the deal?
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by davidylan(m): 2:55am On Jan 15, 2013
ronkebp: This post is about "the children" it has nothing to do with who wins in a marraige, whether it is a man or woman that wins, is not important. But just because there is a conflict between the father and mother of 2 or 3 children, should not mean that either one (father or mother) have the right to abandon their children. Those kids were brought into this world to be taken care off, taught and also respected as fellow human beings.

If a father or mother thinks he or she has the right to abandon his/her kids because of a row, he/she should be ready to be abandoned by those same kids when they are grown. it is what they sow that they will reap. The kids have eyes,do you think they would leave their "insane" mother who took care of them for a "sane" man who was not there for them?

All well and good... but those kids are minors, are presently in the sole custody of the mother who has a restraining order against the man and has shown she is ready to use the kids to destroy the man... unless you want the man to perform magic... i dont know what else you want him to do?

It gets tiring reading the pointless pontification around here.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by davidylan(m): 2:57am On Jan 15, 2013
logica:

Paying $1000/month child support sounds like "abandonment" to you? Can YOU afford to pay anybody $1000 every month without you drinking garri without sugar for the rest of your life?

Yes, the kids have eyes and hopefully they have brains to process too. When they are grown, their father will not need them for anything except he's using the Nigerian Welfare System where old people depend on their children. So if they use their brains well, they will determine who the problem is here, at best. At worst, they turn into men-hating psychotic b!tche$ and join the burgeoning ranks of such a club in the US of A; and they will fit very well into "society". smiley

i tire my brother. How many on this thread can boast of spending that much on their own kids that they see everyday?
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by logica(m): 2:58am On Jan 15, 2013
dayokanu:

So how would he get into the kids life without getting into jail in the process?

Or going to jail is part of the deal?
Ol' boy, there is no better place to bond with your children than the yard of a prison in the US of A. I tell you! There you can picnic and roll on the prison floor with the kids. Heck, you can even teach them how to respect fellow human beings without saying a word; all they have to do is watch how tough inmates kick your butt and fvck you in the a$$.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by davidylan(m): 2:59am On Jan 15, 2013
nwando:

He did not quit the marriage remember?
He lost custody in court from the woman's cooked up stories plus a court injunction slammed for him to keep away from her (and maybe the kids )
What do people suggest this man does?
People are just talking for talking sake

There is a specific issue here being discussed and those are the facts we know
You are going off a tangent not related

Nwanem, i trust you to see the woods for the trees.
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by dayokanu(m): 3:02am On Jan 15, 2013
logica: Ol' boy, there is no better place to bond with your children than the yard of a prison in the US of A. I tell you! There you can picnic and roll on the prison floor with the kids. Heck, you can even teach them how to respect fellow human beings without saying a word; all they have to do is watch how tough inmates kick your butt and fvck you in the a$$.

Raising kids in Jail must be a perfect bonding opportunity
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by nwando: 3:03am On Jan 15, 2013
ileobatojo:

Some answers. And yes, I wish the OP would come back, though it seems she has made up her mind not to.


Thank you
I didn't read the whole thread

Woged2005:

Yes ma you are absolutely correct. God Bless you.

I asked the mediator, she said the restraining order did not include the children. There was also a visitation order in place with drop off and pick up location. But the wife formed the habit of rushing to her lawyer to file allegations of abuse/ neglect each time the kids came back from their dad's house. One was an allegation by the wife that the dad kept alcoholic wine in his refrigerator at the reach of the kids during visitation. though that was not investigated. The mediator said these types of allegations made the man to restrain himself. The mediator said the man bought the kids a prepaid contact phone, which his wife has turned off or thrown away. So he's scared of his wife's determined efforts to either have locked up or have a costly legal fight. Now you can see my anger with my own cousin. If true, these actions are uncalled for.

What I don't understand is why her husband doesn't have his own lawyer to take on the other lawyer heads on? He's very educated and has a stable job.
I may have to hands off from this case.

Oh what are we talking again na?


A man was lied on by his wife,he loses custody ,his space is restricted by her restraining order and they subject him to the inhumane treatment of picking up his kids from some strange location for a limited visit.
For the love of his children he complies and the woman continues to petition the courts with more allegations of abuse and someone thinks the man has not done enough.
he buys them a phone so he can communicate with them since he cannot call the house,the witch destroys the phone.

If he were my brother,I will advice Him to get a job in another state and move over here and send his child support from there.
The woman is out to destroy him.

The OP is wondering why the man won't hire a lawyer to go head on,will you pay?

Look at these people o

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