coogar:

nope, i am countering your opinion that one is not better than the other i.e. stayathome mums are not better than working women in the context of quality time spent with the kids! did you not see what i quoted abi you just love arguing?

There is nothing we won't see in this place!! Coogar accusing someone else of loving to argue? Has the world flipped over onto it's head?!

nope, it's the amount of time she gets to spend watching over them and the quality time spent with them is the main focus. can you argue a stayathome woman who gets to spend 6 hrs quality time per day is not better off than the career mum who spends just 4 hrs quality time? that's 10 hrs difference per week excluding weekends. surely, one is better than the other!

By the way, nice job sneaking in your 30hrs claim in here again. Show me the evidence has turned to a long thing. Haba, even if you are just wrote paper yourself and the postal workers in Croydon went on strike sef, it should have gotten to me by now!

Marrying a housewife no longer makes economic sense. Marriage has evolved over time to include the fact that it is now partly an investment decision. Marry a woman who has a strong financial input into the family... have maximum 2 kids... enjoy your money.

ileobatojo:

There is nothing we won't see in this place!! Coogar accusing someone else of loving to argue? Has the world flipped over onto it's head?!

Tee hee

Myne White: A housewife is usually a married woman who does not have an external income, or she just does not earn as much as she would if she worked outside the home. Having a career or not is one of those topics that can get educated and socially-aware women up in arms, the debate being whether career women can be good mothers, and how much housewives contribute to the economy.

For this reason, a lot of stay at home wives and mothers will tell you, "I did not plan to be a housewife", but in my case I actually did. I mean we did, my husband and I. Let me start from the beginning. I am one of those never say never kind of people, I try to remain adaptable, and not to think in absolutes. For instance, it was never taboo in my mind for a woman to choose to be a housewife, the key word being choice. If a woman gets married and decides to stay home, either for the husband or the children, who was I to judge? Especially if it is working for their family?

Now I am a housewife, and I can only try to make it work for me too. Any other housewives in here? How do you work it?

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2013/01/how-to-be-stay-at-home-wife-or-mother.html

Madam, I do not think there is anything wrong with that since it was an understanding between you and your husband. Looking after your children is a tedious job of its own. But if you and him can decide to have a small provision shop if the property belongs to you people where you reside, better so that you can use that as a part time to always be having something beside been at home.

coogar:

there's nothing wrong being a full housewife....
someone must take care of the kids - i wouldn't object if my spouse wants to be a stay-at-home mum. it would be for our collective benefit as long as my income can take the burden. i have more respect for a woman who is a good mother, a woman who makes her kids her priority over a selfish working woman!

You seem not to undersatand that some women work not b'cos she needs the money but b'cos she has a dream that she wants to fulfill.

Huh

Subscribing.

Housewife ? I dont like the idea of Housewivery. I wanna see someone come home in official attire; suit, blazer, some nice blouse with official challenge and sometimes have her money to spend to acknowledge how difficult it is to earn. I dont like the idea of housing a wife at all.

being a housewife is a personal choice which works sometimes and it can back fire like , the woman will tend to be very clingy especially to her kids even when they are grown and have left home , what does she then do with herself really when there is no one to take care of ?
i believe that it is important to have something that keeps you busy even if you have to work ,but not full time, just something that keeps your brain alive and gives you a sense of purpose and some independence .
Lets not forget that the man or sole provider can loose his source of income or the worst case scenario he could die then what? The baton will now be passed on to the wife to cater for the family , with no work experience, no skills having being out of the work place environment for so long ,age might not be on your side so getting employment might be hard what then

Billyonaire: Housewife ? I dont like the idea of Housewivery. I wanna see someone come home in official attire; suit, blazer, some nice blouse with official challenge and sometimes have her money to spend to acknowledge how difficult it is to earn. I dont like the idea of housing a wife at all.

Even with all your supposed billions? What are shocker .

@ Topic, I wouldn't wanna be a housewife but I'd prefer working on my own business so as to have ample time for my family.

damiso: Sorry everyone i just had to add the Kate Middleton bit. >: .

Cos there is 'work' and there is career.

Some women have the desire to make history in their world. We have women like Deborah in the Bible, Marie Curie, Flourence Nightingtale and so many others who touched their world.

I try to consider my wife's feelings and ask myself what I would do if I was in her situation. If I had a Masters degree, would I be content to sit at home day in day out? Answer is a capital NO!

I do not subscribe to women being housewives. It makes them mentally lazy, and you immediately see that the lack of social interaction in a work or business setting makes them stop taking care of themselves and reduces their self worth. I prefer a woman who works either in an office or in her own business.

freecocoa: Even with all your supposed billions? What are shocker .

@ Topic, I wouldn't wanna be a housewife but I'd prefer working on my own business so as to have ample time for my family.

Its not about the money freecocoa. Its about all structural mentality adjustments. It is an understanding that all humans were born equal and a woman can be the richest human. I love some mental and fiscal gymnastic at the home front. I want a woman to tell me how 40% mark-up in Nigeria can override the import duties and other charges to not only break-even but cover the payroll and still have some colors on balance sheet.

dayokanu:

The bold are Gospel truth. Being a housewife is pure laziness. W[b]hat would one be doing at home from 7am till 4pm[/b] washing plates for how many people? Is it a restaurant? Sweeping for 8 hours? or what

Its pure laziness for anyone to do that.

And those kind of women would now claim they should have equal stake in the marriage when they were no better than the furniture just sitting down doing nothing

THERE ARE A MILLION AND ONE THINGS A WOMAN CAN DO @ HOME. HER ROLE SHOULDNT BE RELEGATED TO ONLY COOKING, CLEANING AND WASHING DISHES. IF THERE ARE REPAIRS TO BE DONE ON THE HOME SHE CAN SUPERVISE THOSE DOING IT... THATS JUST ONE. THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET SHE CAN GO ONLINE LOOK FOR INFORMATION THAT WILL HELP YOU ( THE HUSBAND) SHOULD U NEED TO DO INVESTMENTS AND URE TOO BUSY TO DO THE RESEARCH URSELF. I THINK BASICALLY PEOPLE NEED TO THINK PARTNERSHIP AND BE MORE CREATIVE WHEN THINKING OF ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES.

BABE!:


Abi? The case of a woman lurking around the neighborhood with wrapper tied around her chest, eating everything in sight and gossiping with her crew while her unkempt child is in the house crying for hours with mucus dripping from his nostrils, is not valid in this argument.

We are taking about a housewife that knows her main job; to take care of her kids!!

And when the kids go to school, what does she do?

greatgod2012: @ ileobatojo, thank you, one of d reason i cant and wont be a full housewife.


@post, each to his own, what works for A might not work for B, if you think it can work for you and you/your hubby have taken decision on that, then, goodluck, i sincerely wish you well.

But as for me.........its Hell NOOOOOOOOOO no matter how wealtyh my hubby is, i cant accept,,,,,if hes s wealthy, let him equip me and set up my own business for me....in my name.........abeg, anything can happen anytime, we dont pray for bad things but they do happen, so, when d unexpected happens, and im a full housewife, where and how do i pick myself up? Anything can happen, d man may go bankrupt, d business can be ablazed, when it seems things go wrong, im suppose to fill d vacuum, but how do i do that when i have to completely rely on d man for every needs of mine and d children.

Why must you always expect negative things befalling your husband,ask job that was the beginning of his calamity,the earlier you have a renewed mindset the better,and who told you your husband must set you upwhy can't you start from somewhere. You are the lazy woman sef.

coogar:

yes - no wonder the society has degenerated to what it is because of selfish parents. they abandon kids in the hands of relatives who take turns to abuse those kids in ways we cannot mention here whilst husband/wife are busy showing their payslips to everyone that they are soon-to-be bill gates! i cannot believe i am arguing with supposed mothers who should understand the importance of proper childcare!



of course - one of the parents must put in quality shifts to ensure the proper upbringing as opposed to the working couples who would rather spend 25 mins with their kids till the kids choose their own parents from the streets. there's no difference between kids whose parents are rarely home and kids whose parents are both in prison/dead!



the money paris hilton inherited from her grandparents has given her the celebrity status from birth - what has she gotta do with our debate? in case you have lost sight of the ball - the topic says nigerian housewives!



you are deviating - the humble beginnings of alan sugar/obama is equivalent to the top 5% of the rich people in nigeria. i am sure they were not as poor as spending $2 per day, were they?

Is taking care of the kids the sole responsibility of the mother?

minute: Unless they are also mothers or have some other large responsibilities, i think they are pretty lazy.

I mean cooking these days can be very quick. I guess you could make it an extensive all day process. . .but

really most working people pick up after themselves and cook for themselves just fine.

What's she going to do all day? Dust the counters?

It seems more likely that he'll be working all day so she can do a couple of chores and relax the rest of the time.
That doesn't seem very fair to me.

I am surprised that you actually said this.I am a guy I would say same thing some years ago. Seriously you don't have a clue of what it takes to run a home. If you think that all house wives do is cook and relax for the rest of the day. If I may ask you, have you ever been left to cater for kids and in addition with taking care of the households? By cater I don't mean the African setting where you allow your kids to wander off and whatever they want as long as they are not in your way and don't get into "trouble". I meant keeping an eye on them properly and also try and make sure things are okay at home.

I think you should ask full time house wife out here what it takes to be a house wife only then will you appreciate house-wives that know what they are doing.

IMO,the reason we have full house wives these days is as a result of idleness an laziness in the side of a woman,what do you expect when a man marries you and you have nothing doing,no handwork,no job,no business,he packages you as such,but where I find it difficult is when some men stop their wives from working or doing business and turns them to full house wives that I can say is risky.

So women you must not wait for a man to set you up with business before doing something,start doing something then he will expand or improve on it for you.

In Nigeria,a woman must not be a housewife.The future is too uncertain,there is no provision by the society for the unemployed,not to mention unemployed mother of four.in the case of unforeseen emmergencies,like The husband can loose his job,die,or simply divorce her at 40 from boredom that happens a lot,she gets no alimony in naija.For those saying to get a job,get real.where does she start @40? with years of no experience,remember its Nigeria.Customer care agent?or a 30k job.

bukatyne: Is taking care of the kids the sole responsibility of the mother?

No oooo its fashion and gossiping abi

I will like someone to indulge me, my girlfriend has a job as a staff of a Local Council. The job is such that she can be away from work for upward of 2 weeks and no questions asked. But equally they are being owed 4 to 5months salary.
What suggestion can you people give about a suitable business she can go into and still cope with her 'job'.
The idea of someone sitting at home watching nollywood or visiting friends during working hours makes me cringe.

jidegirl12:

Don't be ridiculous sis( which kind ewa agoin?)... Monè makes the world go round ... I am not interested going in circles with cooger

... so he's willing to drop his whole nine yards for his family's upkeep including cream ? Baba agbalagba cooger... I duff my weave o!

I spend over 100 grand for tuition so I should put everything on omo olomo cos I want to spend quality time with my kids? What's wrong with prioritizing my parenting skills? We both chose the lifestyle so we have to make it work TOGETHER

Don't say that! you have forgotten the woman got pregnant herself so the sole responsibility for training the child is on the mother. Tomorrow when people say a mother sacrifices more, they start complaining.

coogar:

an education on females is not wasted - once the kids are all fully in school, she can enter the labour market again!! where did i say a woman should dedicate the rest of her life to children when the kids are out of the house by the time they are 16/17. even if she had her last child at 33, is a 50-yr old woman too old to work or she would be nurturing the space left by the kids whilst they are in their respective universities? you have a way of making your own argument, don't you?



they shouldn't entertain the thoughts of having kids if they are bent on staying in old ikoyi, go to dubai every summer and if they intend to send those kids through expensive private schools all the way to yale/havard/MIT. it's sad but true - only millionaires can afford such luxuries. however, if having kids is imperative, then they should cut their cloth according to their cloth. put them in schools with less quality, ignore abu dhabi summer trips and settle for obudu ranch and put them in okuamagbo memorial secondary school instead of corona.



exaggeration of the highest order......
one person must do the work to bring in the bacon(husband) and the other(the wife) must tidy up things in the home front. it's called partnership and its a temporary measure till the kids become adults. parents who spend quality time with their kids are surer to raise good kids than the ones who spend less quality time with theirs. that's logical enough!!!

In a country
where young vibrant people are trekking the streets daily, a fifty year old woman wxpects to get a job?

@Parents: Is it parents or mothers?

bukatyne: You seem not to undersatand that some women work not b'cos she needs the money but b'cos she has a dream that she wants to fulfill.

then those women should not have children. they would be deluded to believe they can dedicate 100% to fulfil and dedicate 100% child care at the same time. if the career is more important, those women should get effective contraception and forget about having kids....it's so simple!

bukatyne: Is taking care of the kids the sole responsibility of the mother?

in the early stages, the woman spends more time with infants than the husband unless you know a breast-feeding husbands!

ileobatojo:
There is nothing we won't see in this place!! Coogar accusing someone else of loving to argue? Has the world flipped over onto it's head?!

is my accusation misplaced? sisikill did not even deny it!

By the way, nice job sneaking in your 30hrs claim in here again. Show me the evidence has turned to a long thing. Haba, even if you are just wrote paper yourself and the postal workers in Croydon went on strike sef, it should have gotten to me by now!

i have found more than 300 articles on this ish but they are too geeky for you to understand. the amount of time both parents spend on their kids is even more than the 6 hrs/day i mentioned in their infantry. i am collating the ammo to silence you!

bukatyne: In a country where young vibrant people are trekking the streets daily, a fifty year old woman wxpects to get a job?

her qualifications and her wealth of experience are priceless than the wet behind ears vibrant people you're referring to! age is overrated!

I don't agree that a woman has to be a housewife to be a good mother,some career paths however make it near impossible to be. I have done the career thing and frankly speaking I have no regrets for jacking it in neither do I judge the women who want it or have it. Right now, I am considering a career in volunteering but then I am saying this from the vantage point of having options.

naijababe: I don't agree that a woman has to be a housewife to be a good mother,some career paths however make it near impossible to be. I have done the career thing and frankly speaking I have no regrets for jacking it in neither do I judge the women who want it or have it. Right now, I am considering a career in volunteering but then I am saying this from the vantage point of having options.

but you would agree the more quantity and quality time spent with a kid, the better for that kid? can a career woman give 100% quantity and 100% quality or why are we deceiving ourselves here?

Why is this topic just entering front page? Are we supposed to read the whole thread from page 1 or something?

coogar:

but you would agree the more quantity and quality time spent with a kid, the better for that kid? can a career woman give 100% quantity and 100% quality or why are we deceiving ourselves here?

You make it sound like it is only important for the mother to spend time with the kids and it isn't important for the father to spend time with them.
Mothers that work can also make out quality time to be with their kids. There is nothing like 100% quality time, a woman cannot abandon her career to be with her kids 100% of the time. Won't they go to school and other places?

coogar:

but you would agree the more quantity and quality time spent with a kid, the better for that kid? can a career woman give 100% quantity and 100% quality or why are we deceiving ourselves here?

Yes if you are a quality parent . Speaking for myself, I hope I never find myself in a situation where I feel I need a career to survive, quitting my job has been the best thing to happen to me and my family. I don't want to do the rat race thing again abeg!!!

Taking care of kids should not be an excuse for lazy women who want to be housewives. Fathers can spend time too with kids.

fellis:
You make it sound like it is only important for the mother to spend time with the kids and it isn't important for the father to spend time with them.
Mothers that work can also make out quality time to be with their kids. There is nothing like 100% quality time, a woman cannot abandon her career to be with her kids 100% of the time. Won't they go to school and other places?

why can't she? why did she conceive the child if she cannot dedicate her whole life into raising them. yet you blame the breakdown in the society when you see kids misbehaving - can you not see your hypocrisy? when people become parents, the responsibility is a full time one not half-baked so forget the idea of chasing a career while abandoning your kids - it's selfish!

naijababe:
Yes if you are a quality parent . Speaking for myself, I hope I never find myself in a situation where I feel I need a career to survive, quitting my job has been the best thing to happen to me and my family. I don't want to do the rat race thing again abeg!!!

only quality parents can give quantity time + quality time.