Am 27 weeks pregnant and i cant afford to take care of myself fianancialy cos i dont have anything doing yet.

my boyfriend who is the father of my child walk away cos he said he's not ready to be a father yet, that he has his career to pursue.

i actually never wanted to keep this pregnancy, but he convinced me to keep it, but just of a recent, he said he's scared that we should remove it. which i agree with him. we went to the hospital and met a doctor who adviced us to keep it. that i may die in the process.

since then, he stop calling me, visiting and even stop picking my calls. I've been so depressed and scared. i don't have money to even go for antenatal not to talk of what to use and take care of my baby when i give birth.

i've really disappointed my mom and my two younger brothers and don't know what to do. since last week i started thinking of giving out my baby for adoption, but i don't know how to go about it.

my question is:
1. does the thought of given out my child for adoption makes me a terrible mom to be?

pls if u know of any legal organization or foundation in abuja that can adopt my child for a year so that i can come back and get my baby, pls let me know and if u have any advice or help, pls advice me.

pls dont judge me nor condemn me. i already know i did wrong by not been careful, believing in promises that easily failed me and given out my trust to love . thank u

I feel so much for you. Firstly, have nothing else to do with the father of your child for he feels absolutely nothing for you and your unborn child. To him, you are just a tool for sex. If you must give out your child, ensure that the couple are actually in need of a child and involve the child welfare department so that you don't end up giving your child to ritualists. I pray that God gives you the strength and ability to cater for your child. Also I pray Gods guidiance and direction for you so that you make the best decision regarding this. Goodluck and cheers.

Go to the social welfare secretariate area 3, behind former immigration office, ask for social welfare office and Mrs. Hart, if she is not there ask for the officer in charge of child development, they will counsel and give you steps to take

Seeking to legally give up your child till you find your feet doesn't make you a bad mother, it makes you a realistic one.
Stay away from people who will advice you to sell your baby because they are all over.
Social welfare will help you work out a plan where you can get your life together and return for your baby when you pass their test

thank u so much. i will go there first thing tomorow.

Very nice, practical advice there Debrief. All the best OP.

@op, i wish you all the best as you take this brave step.

Poster, stop being hard on yourself, you are not the first person who believed in someone else.
We all make mistakes, fall, learn our lessons and pick up.
Whatever happens, let us know. Please don't get discouraged and depressed, I assure you some us of have been through so much worse and even considered and planned suicide but here we are today with a different Story.
Let us know how it goes and if it helps keep in touch

Adoption doesn't make you a bad mother. It is one of the choices available. You may be giving the child a better chance at life. I have a cousin who was adopted. My goodness, that child really enjoyed. Far beyond her parents wildest dreams. She is so sucessful now, and the only child of two very sucessful people. Am sure her birth parents are somewhere in naija soaking garri. Anyway, after birth, take good time to think your decision through. So that when you finalyy decide, you wouldn't look back and regret.

thank u all. i will give u feed back tomorow. i appraciate u all. thank u

Bet you are looking for a natural platform to get rid of the baby.. It's your decision all thesame!!

okay>

Go and give the child to his family.

.

Were you forced into child bearing

i ll advice u to keep it...who knows where help kud come from?

Fhemmmy:

Any reason why you would chose abortion over giving the baby up for adoption ?

Plenty reasons!

May God bless you all particularly @debrief.
Thank you for the specific address too. I'm sure the OP will utilise this maximally.
Aside Abuja and Lagos, do we have these offices elsewhere here in Nigeria?

@OP: You are not a bad mom, you are a human with a heart. Many already killed theirs even after birth, many more dumped theirs in 'bolla', you have chosen to ask for help and thank God help is here.
May God see you thru.

Brimmie: MORAL: Use Condom To Avoid Unwanted Pregnancy

Yeah, we know already, so shutup and advice.

Better than killing or throwing the baby away

my dear,get sometin doing,any decent job,irrespective of d meagre pay,dust off laziness and make up your mind,that you'll take care of your child,come what may.Adorption is not really a good idea on my part. I'd rather soak garri and salt with my child,than allow him enjoy fried rice and chicken with sm other..
What story will u tell him after today
Ninu ofi,ninu ola,lomo pandoro n dagba.The Lord is ur strength

~Bluetooth:


Go and give the child to his family.

I wouldn't do that.

.

some men are heartless.....
this is when i sometimes wish men should be getting pregnant like the ladies. he offloaded his debris into her before realising he has a career to pursue - why didn't he think of that before sticking it in her?

dedons: Were you forced into child bearing

Did you read the post at all

Fhemmmy:

You want her to raise a child based on uncertainty, you want her to commit the future of a child into what she is not sure of, cos based on you "You never know where help could come from" are you willing to help buy the diapers and food for the child ?

must d baby wear diapers??
What happened to breast milk??