nikkykay: @ Zeefa, did u take ur time to find out y her father left her mother?
I had d same issue wit a bf long time ago. Then we were in school. The guy made it cleared to me that i culdnt separate him from him friends. His friends started ignoring me to make matter worse. Nobody told me be4 i became friendly with them. He was in his final year then.
After he left it was the same friends that helped me thru out on campus. We became good friends that my bf started wondering again if there was anythg.

I think your wife shld see ur friend as an elder brother! I mean some1 she can run to when u r even misbehaving.
Concerning the issue of divorce, am a woman and i dont support ds. Most ladies saying you dont gve her attention bla bla are not be truthful cos u dont know wot dey r facing in dir relationships. Have dey taken time to think if d woman is d boring type. I have a friend dat we hang out when he is in d country. He doesnt like football. He thinks its a stupid thing for 22 men to be chasing ard one leather. Anytime, we hang out esp wkends and DSTV is showing any match, he know e cant disturb me esp whn my team is playing. He wont even stop me when am discussing wit other guys about football. Whenever he wants to call me, he calls me Arsenal or Madam Arsenal. I made him to start watching ball even tho e doesnt have favourite team.

Fine ur wife needs attention esp now that she is pregnant but to me she is not handling the situation wit wisdom and the reason being that ur mum is controlling her. She shld even thank God that u guys aint hanging out till late! There r better ways she can get ur attention and u wont have to call ur friend for 2 hrs virtually everyday.
If u guys r in a lovely relationship or ur wife is a talkative like me, i can bet u will hardly remember to call dayo Whn u get home cos i wil bombard u with d day's activities.

My advice is to call her wife to order abt her mum and let her know she cant threaten you wit divorce if she doesnt want to end up like her mother. U need to talk sense into her head. Let her know dre r ways she can reduce the way u make fone call to ur friend.

Her marriage is wot she makes it. Women r the architects of their homes. They can make it or mar it. Let her realise all these. Let her know she can learn from dayo's wife.

I pray God helps u both!

Sensible post!

Nextworldnx:

@OP, Don't mind the ladies here. While I was reading all along, I knew they were going to turn the whole issue into u and ur friend screwing each other. Be rest assured that there are some guys here who understand what u are talking about and can profer a solution to it.

Let me relate with u.
I currently have a very close friend from way back. We went dsame Secondary Sch., dsame university, tho he did Chemical Eng and I studied Mechanical. We use to live in dsame town until he got a Job with an Oil Coy in another state. Though, we are not married(Yet we manage our relationships well).

Now, we talk and hang-out all day long. Even when we are both separated by distance, we talk on phone all night long(including Nite calls). We talk about life,our business, our daily activities, our dreams, hopes and future. We help each other greatly every day(Funny enough, he is not the only one,I have about 3 others like that. We usually for hours on phone. But am too closely tied to dis my particular brother from another mother).

And when most of our girlfriends couldn't separate us, they called us GAYs! Well, it didn't bother us 'cos its all cheap black-mail(U must know that we detest anything homo all forms).

U might ask how we succeeded in keeping the girls at bay!
-We did exactly ur friend did, "warn the girls sternly". That this guy brought me to this level and I did same for him, and there is no way in Hell we are gonna drop each other for anybody. If she doesn't like it, she can kiss d dust.

Women will always be women, once they enter ur life, they chase away everything that u hold dear. People and things that were there for u when things was down, people and things that molded, built and shaped u into what and who u are right now and made u fit for them to befriend or marry. Those same people they want u to chase away so that when u come crashing down,they will pack their bag and baggages and leave u to wallow in misery and regrets.

My girlfriend knows it, she can't try that nonsense with me. My main guys first before her. Infact, she's got no choice now, she has made most of my pals her friends.

So OP, its ur choice,u married her she didn't marry u. Calling a Family or district meeting is not gonna solve a thing. Its about time u man up and stamp ur feet on the ground. If not, u are in for a long and rough ride if u continue to use logic and wisdom as u have been doing.

Just imaging, because ur friend stamp his authority and warned his wife to stay off ur friendship, NL girls are already concluding that u are gays. U see d blackmail I spoke about concerning these daughters of Eve.
My friend compromise/bulge on this issue and risk compromising/bulging on any other issue that concerns ur Sibblings/Parents in the nearest future.

I dey laff

This is the most foolish advice I have read so far. Smh

zeefa:

Yh, I can feel u & am so so api you are in d film. Imagining what they are thinking. Wonder shall never end my brother. Just as you said, am standing on my feet as a Man. I married her & I have the right as a man 2 decide on what I want in my home.

Its not really funny at all. Am so happy reading ur comment. Cos dos words of yours just energized me.




Let all haters ladies in d house kiss the dust on the floor. That one na their cup of wahala
Thanks man!

And he responds with joy.

Provs 13vs20:"whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm"

zeefa: The meeting scheduled for the families couldn't hold cos Morenike denied being in a round table with dayo's family to resolve the matter. She insisted and gave me 3weeks to decide between her & dayo. She is a worker in the church we attend here,So I was thinking of calling our pastor about the issue before my mother inlaw call came in.

With all she told me on phone. I got to realize Morenike was acting on the advice from her mum.

Now the situation is getting out of hand! One, I hate the attitude of mother inlaws poke nosing in2 my. Own family affairs. I got to know that, she has been giving her mum an updates on the relationship between dayo & I. But instead of her mum 2 atleast advise her to sort it with me. She also insist her daughter would leave if I fail to sort out that undue bond with my friend.

As I said earlier, things are really heating up cos Morenike's mum isn't helping matters. I still don't understand why some mother inlaw create fun in the affairs of their daughter after marriage.

Morenike has given me a 3 weeks ultimatum to either be with her or face the consequence. I haven't given dayo the reason for the meeting cancellation. Right now, am still on a look out of the possible ways to go about the whole situation.

Now even if I finally decided to follow Morenike's wish, I still have other problem ahead, which will be that of Morenike's mum. I know if I allowed it now, it might result in2 a problem I might not be able to fix again for life.

Please what do I do to resolve this double crisis! Now, I have Morenike's mother backing her up, and even saying it with boldness that her daughter would leave......

I have not told dayo about the new development, but right now things are not really going good at all...I feel like given up!

Aha!! So this has been a nollywood script all along??

Toh, I'm outta here.

Now, this is just a movie. I'm outta here!

Ishilove:
Aha!! So this has been a nollywood script all along??

Toh, I'm outta here.

Nollywood scripts indeed!

chaircover: nickykay I can bet my front teeth that she just didnt wake up with an ultimatum. She would have communicated her displeasure in many other ways before now but it wasnt taken on board.

Can I ask you . . .would you be cool with your husband coming back from work everyday and talking on the phone everyday for 2 hours? remember that whilst he is on the phone, you dont have access to each other.

Youruba people say that ogun omode o le shere fun ogun odun. As you go through life we make friendships, redefine friendships. cool friendships, put heat in friendships, break friendships and all what not . . . its life and no condition is permanent

Do you think that they will talk for 2 hours on the phone everyday if one lived in Australia and the other lived in the UK. Time difference and call costs wont allow that. Anyway we all have our different standards and expectations.

she ddint wake up one day to make d ultimatum i can understand but remember the poster said she was always joking abt it during courtship but he tot it wasnt somethg serious. i believe that was when she shld have stood her ground. Mayb d poster wuld have done somethg abt it then.
If my husband talks on fone 4 2hrs virually everyday, i mayb upset but if he had been doing that even be4 we met, my own i sjust to find out what d call is all about. if he makes it to his friend, na e get money but i can always get his attention.
Are telling me u r in support of the divorce ultimatum? Or the way she has involved her mother? If it were d guy dat involved his mother, people wil say he is being childish and he is mummy's boy. yoruba pple know dre is limit to which d wife's mother can interfere in her daughter's marriage.

jidegirl12:

Don't worry bout my own marital status, face the topic, and we are not discussing house chore sharing here woman!




Wash!!



You're a disgrace to institution of marriage Nikky,
Did you just say the bolded? Really?




Iwo lo mo! Sarcasm or not , you're welcome!

Dayo enter UK before you , showed you the way as per baba isale with all the UK 411 doesn't have to make you lick his bloody wounds to salvage your own marriage, asore to siddon there.

As per iya isale for my own territory , I showed people ( old friends incl) the way here too, get them jobs, co sign as guarantors for their mortgages and car loans/ student loans/ citizenship/ PRs/ adopt their kids.....I don't milk them dry / 2hrs calls cos I helped them oh, ofcourse I don't suffer when I need stuff done , long story sha

Dayo; bros we are going out tonight oh... you kept mute cos you don't want to hurt his feelings but didn't matter how Renny feels after all Dayo helped her too so she should su ck it up abi?

I'm not saying you guys should stop being friends but everything has limits, embrace your wife and tell her to talk to her mom as long as you stop that weird routine calls ( sounds like an ultimatum but sorry ) , she comes first! You have a new life on the way, be responsible.

Or see a therapist/ marriage counsellor to show you your character in the mirror oh yes they will, So you get a clearer picture of what reasonable people are talking about on this thread.

Is ur marital status dat bad or wot? and who is discussing house chores here?
I dont knw if u r mother but if ur daughter comes to u & reports dat her husband is always on d fone wit his friend for 2 hrs everyday, wot wil u tell her?
if this woman comes to u as a friend dat her husband is always on d fone wit his friend everyday, what advice will u give her?
i want to b sure as mother & friend u wont tell both to divorce dir husband after several warnings to the men.
My point concerning ds issue is that as women we shld know hw get wot we want from men.

@poster,
pls tell ur wife to stop talking to her mother first. two of u can now sit down and talk like matured beings.Ask her Why she is against d call? is she dat she is not getting attention, u aint helping wit d house chores or shes suspecting somethg?

https://www.nairaland.com/1120329/caught-finacee-ex-hotel-paid#13205180 at poster you are just a story teller, last year december u caught your fiancee cheating on you in an hotel at dubai and this year your wife is threatening to divorce you.........mscheeeew

zibiah: https://www.nairaland.com/1120329/caught-finacee-ex-hotel-paid#13205180 at poster you are just a story teller, last year december u caught your fiancee cheating on you in an hotel at dubai and this year your wife is threatening to divorce you.........mscheeeew

Sigh

jennykadry:

Sigh

Double sigh

zibiah: https://www.nairaland.com/1120329/caught-finacee-ex-hotel-paid#13205180 at poster you are just a story teller, last year december u caught your fiancee cheating on you in an hotel at dubai and this year your wife is threatening to divorce you.........mscheeeew

Don't tell me this whole thing is a wash! Gosh|! I'm outta here...

zibiah: https://www.nairaland.com/1120329/caught-finacee-ex-hotel-paid#13205180 at poster you are just a story teller, last year december u caught your fiancee cheating on you in an hotel at dubai and this year your wife is threatening to divorce you.........mscheeeew

Why is it that most of the drama queens on NL are men

zibiah: https://www.nairaland.com/1120329/caught-finacee-ex-hotel-paid#13205180 at poster you are just a story teller, last year december u caught your fiancee cheating on you in an hotel at dubai and this year your wife is threatening to divorce you.........mscheeeew

I realised the story was bogus immediately he started dropping names. It seems half the stories in this section are the figments of idle minds.

If he wants to write stories, let him go to the literature section.

zibiah: https://www.nairaland.com/1120329/caught-finacee-ex-hotel-paid#13205180 at poster you are just a story teller, last year december u caught your fiancee cheating on you in an hotel at dubai and this year your wife is threatening to divorce you.........mscheeeew

Some people just create fun in blackmail! So, one cld just sit down & cook up a story like these! O ga o! For your information, pls go back & read d story again to really know the facts about it. The incident happened to a friend of mine & NOT me. Just go thru it from the beginning of the post till d last and also go tru my comments.

I dnt have to ague or start exchanging words with u ova that cos I believe u r just a fool! And if you felt they are just cooked up stories, y wasting ur tym 2 follow the thread!

It beats my imagination why must atyms ppl just check to find ot faults in other ppl actions.

I dnt have tym 4 u now! I continue with you later.....

Kgdavid: grown men shuld not spend so much time talkin to each other on the phone, your wife probably feels ignored and neglected during that period!

OP, what is this? You give so much attention to your friend to the detriment of your wife! Wow! I thought it should be the other way round.

chaircover: Nicky let me explain it to you. When you get married, you are saying that I am responsible now and I have other people to think about and its no longer about ME ME ME!

In an ideal world, the wifey shouldn’t even have to ask the husband to cut down the chats. His common sense should have done that for him a long time ago. You think I don’t want to spend all my salary on shoes and bags? . . . Of course I’d love to but I have a family and other priorities now. They come first.

So because before we got married, my husband used to compliment my many pairs of shoes and joke that I have more shoes that Imelda Marcus, I should carry on just buying shoes all day long?! . . .and then turn round and tell him that he should even be happy that I am not spending all the money meant for the family on cocaine.

In case you missed it in my previous posts. ... For the record, I am not applauding the wife for threatening divorce or mama asking her daughter to pack out.

Why do you still bother? The story is fake. Scroll up and read the link posted by zibiah

Ishilove:
I realised the story was bogus immediately he started dropping names. It seems half the stories in this section are the figments of idle minds.

If he wants to write stories, let him go to the literature section.

literature section is boring.....

naijababe:

Why is it that most of the drama queens on NL are men

Rotflmao!

Tell me about it.

chaircover: Nicky let me explain it to you. When you get married, you are saying that I am responsible now and I have other people to think about and its no longer about ME ME ME!

In an ideal world, the wifey shouldn’t even have to ask the husband to cut down the chats. His common sense should have done that for him a long time ago. You think I don’t want to spend all my salary on shoes and bags? . . . Of course I’d love to but I have a family and other priorities now. They come first.

So because before we got married, my husband used to compliment my many pairs of shoes and joke that I have more shoes that Imelda Marcus, I should carry on just buying shoes all day long?! . . .and then turn round and tell him that he should even be happy that I am not spending all the money meant for the family on cocaine.

In case you missed it in my previous posts. ... For the record, I am not applauding the wife for threatening divorce or mama asking her daughter to pack out.

God Bless you!!!

This whole it could have been worse...it's just a free pass not to put in the hard work required in marriage...into anything for that matter. It could have been worse....oh yeah but it CAN be better.

coogar:

literature section is boring.....

Philistines like you find it boring

Ishilove:
Philistines like you find it boring

Unlike the literature section, updates are two a penny here

Irrational behavior from two adults..the focus of suggestions here should be on how to get the two of them to become rational and agree to a middle ground.
Threat of divorce is dangerous while daily two hours chat on the phone with a friend by a married man is clearly unreasonable.
Marriage is all about compromise with the two parties shifting till they find common grounds on all relevant areas and settling down to enjoy the marriage.

Triple sigh

Ishilove:
Philistines like you find it boring

you need a soul searching....
all i see in the literature is just wack....never read a story there that blew my mind there. you guys are too basic and..............tasteless!

coogar:

you need a soul searching....
all i see in the literature is just wack....never read a story there that blew my mind there. you guys are too basic and..............tasteless!

ROTFLMAO

***************************************************************

Hmmmmmmmm, another update coming!

Just about 2hrs ago, Renny dropped a note on our bedroom reading table... Which reads

CONTINUE WITH HIM & FOREFIT THE FOLLOWING......

RED PASSPORT APPLICATION, which am due 2 apply for come july cos she is a citizen.

DIVORCE....

& FACE ARREST FOR NEGLECT AND ASSULT.

************************************************************************************

I believe so many people have been looking at these as a story! But be candid, its something that beats my imagination too cos everything looks and appear like this nollywood story in nigeria.

I'm sure u people will be wondering on the issue of the mentioned RED passport. Well, may be this will give me an opportunity to tell you more about Morenike.

Right now, I don't concentrate at work again. I have told my pastor in nigeria. And he is presently praying along with me for a change.

.........Let me rest my brain and give you guyz an update later 2moro! And that will be about morenike and the new developments.

Dayo's wife just came 2 visit us with her 2kids & she pretended as if nothing happens...

Dayo's wife has given up and no issue between them...still don't know why renny is taken it so far...

coogar:

you need a soul searching....
all i see in the literature is just wack....never read a story there that blew my mind there. you guys are too basic and..............tasteless!

Haaa... The Lit section is like a market place. You have the very good, the good, the mediocre and the downright boring. It is left for you to search.

Another thing you have to understand is that a lot of the writers yonder are beginners, or 'learners'. The writers whose creations you have scornfully dismissed as 'basic' and 'tasteless' are people going through a metamorphosis; budding writers who have the potential to be international award winners.
You cannot use the standards used to judge professionals to judge beginners, which is what you are erroneously doing.

I still think you are a philistine, though, so I doubt if you will be able to appreciate really good literaure when you stumble on it.

zeefa: ***************************************************************

Hmmmmmmmm, another update coming!

Just about 2hrs ago, Renny dropped a note on our bedroom reading table... Which reads

CONTINUE WITH HIM & FOREFIT THE FOLLOWING......

RED PASSPORT APPLICATION, which am due 2 apply for come july cos she is a citizen.

DIVORCE....

& FACE ARREST FOR NEGLECT AND ASSULT.

************************************************************************************

Can you explain the bold?

***************************************************************

Hmmmmmmmm, another update coming!

Just about 2hrs ago, Renny dropped a note on our bedroom reading table... Which reads

CONTINUE WITH HIM & FOREFIT THE FOLLOWING......

RED PASSPORT APPLICATION, which am due 2 apply for come july cos she is a citizen.

DIVORCE....

& FACE ARREST FOR NEGLECT AND ASSULT.

************************************************************************************

I believe so many people have been looking at these as a story! But be candid, its something that beats my imagination too cos everything looks and appear like this nollywood story in nigeria.

I'm sure u people will be wondering on the issue of the mentioned RED passport. Well, may be this will give me an opportunity to tell you more about Morenike.

Right now, I don't concentrate at work again. I have told my pastor in nigeria. And he is presently praying along with me for a change.

.........Let me rest my brain and give you guyz an update later 2moro! And that will be about morenike and the new developments.

Dayo's wife just came 2 visit us with her 2kids & she pretended as if nothing happens...

Dayo's wife has given up and no issue between them...still don't know why renny is taken it so far...

*******************************************************************************

***************************************************************