I'm back again with my serious need for advice.
I have been engaged for a while now and i have started planning my wedding which was to come up in October. The problem now is that I just broke up with my fiancée last night.
We had an argument over him betraying me. I told him about what my family is saying about the wedding arrangement and told him not to say anything to this parents yet because my family haven't concluded, that I was just filling him in to know how its going. After about a week he told me that he told his dad what I said. I got really upset saying we had an agreement, he was not suppose to go tell anyone without letting me know. Its not the fact that he told his dad that im mad at but the fact that I specifically begged him not to say anything to anyone yet and we agreed on it and now he went behind me to tell someone without talking to me first, that got me pissed. After a long argument for two days he said I should keep my words and not tell him anything any more. I got really upset and told him I was done with him, done with the wedding plans and that he should go to hell and I hung up.
He called back to confirm I meant with I said and when I would not repeat it, he called me a coward n bla bla bla and because I am not a coward, i told him that I meant everything I said, that we were done and over. He said he wished me well and he prayed that God would provide my own man for me
Now, he hasn't called and I have not called, not that im expecting him to call me because i know he wont, but my mind is so running marathon now, don't know what to do and that's why im here.
I have made reservations here and there, don't know if to go and collect my money back...(I have limited days to wait)
I haven't said anything to any member of my family because I really do not know what to say and how to say it so as not to look stupid
I want to call him but with all that is on ground, the arguments, misunderstanding over the phone i'm having double mind about this marriage already
one thing stands though, i love him, he has been the closest person to me and its hard to let go.

pls advise me.
I can give more info if you need.

For wedding plans to be cancelled over a minor argument like that? I suppose something else must have been up. But you know you are the woman, you shouldn't have tried to be in control over the whole thing. Since you called for the break-up, and must have turned sour first, I think you should call him and apologise. That is if you love him. You never can tell his reaction, but I don't think such a minor issue warranted the kind of reaction you gave.

dsgirl: I'm back again with my serious need for advice.
I have been engaged for a while now and i have started planning my wedding which was to come up in October. The problem now is that I just broke up with my fiancée last night.
We had an argument over him betraying me. I told him about what my family is saying about the wedding arrangement and told him not to say anything to this parents yet because my family haven't concluded, that I was just filling him in to know how its going. After about a week he told me that he told his dad what I said. I got really upset saying we had an agreement, he was not suppose to go tell anyone without letting me know. Its not the fact that he told his dad that im mad at but the fact that I specifically begged him not to say anything to anyone yet and we agreed on it and now he went behind me to tell someone without talking to me first, that got me pissed. After a long argument for two days he said I should keep my words and not tell him anything any more. I got really upset and told him I was done with him, done with the wedding plans and that he should go to hell and I hung up.
He called back to confirm I meant with I said and when I would not repeat it, he called me a coward n bla bla bla and because I am not a coward, i told him that I meant everything I said, that we were done and over. He said he wished me well and he prayed that God would provide my own man for me
Now, he hasn't called and I have not called, not that im expecting him to call me because i know he wont, but my mind is so running marathon now, don't know what to do and that's why im here.
I have made reservations here and there, don't know if to go and collect my money back...(I have limited days to wait)
I haven't said anything to any member of my family because I really do not know what to say and how to say it so as not to look stupid
I want to call him but with all that is on ground, the arguments, misunderstanding over the phone i'm having double mind about this marriage already
one thing stands though, i love him, he has been the closest person to me and its hard to let go.

pls advise me.
I can give more info if you need.

...more infoo please ...by the way, are u dark skin?

@ Mr Cork London: what info do u need?

Wtf is don't tell anyone??

you have made reservations here and there, sorry if i may ask who is sponsoring the wedding?

dsgirl: @ Mr Cork London: what info do u need?

..the main info without disclosin the original info & the real info so we can analise the simple info!

emilyone: you have made reservations here and there, sorry if i may ask who is sponsoring the wedding?

this is not about "who" is sponsoring the wedding.....everyone is sponsoring the wedding. Reservations have been made, and since the wedding is to take place at the bride's location, I made d reservations but not necessarily with 'my' money.

Mr Cork London:

..the main info without disclosin the original info & the real info so we can analise the simple info!

sorry, I dont know how to answer ur question

You asked for a break up. You got it. You are here complaining. You are not matured enough for marriage. You are carrying impatience and intolerance into marriage? My dear you are very wrong. Your husband MUST not consult you on every thing. Go ahead and call off the wedding and give your old folks the embarrassment of their life. Please you have not told us your real concerns about him. I didnt see any betrayal in his action. There is more to marriage than wedding ceremony.Go and humbly beg him. You are quick to anger.

Just giving my humble opinion though you can either decide to take it or leave it.

Your guy was humble enough to let you know that he has told someone else.What if he did tell his dad but kept mute about it.Besides,if i were in his shoes,I would do same.

My fiancee cannot tell me what his family is saying about our marriage plans,and then expect me to keep it to my self.No way!heeelloooo.......I have a family too.I mean,if i hide it from them,and they later find out,when things go wrong,they would be so mad at me for saying it late.
I think i prefer it when couple have little fights like this,instead of pretending to each other jut for the sake of peace.

Babe ,you acted on impulse you know ,no one wants to be called a coward but trust me,if such trivial issues can make you call off your wedding,then you can as well not get married now,untill you are psychologically ready.Who says he might still not call you a coward even in marriage?what happens then?You file for a divorce?


I know you are trying not not hurt your ego here or make it look as if you are begging for marriage.But how about calling him so that you guys can have a chat.Tell him you said those things out of anger.Trust me he will apologize to you too.And before you know it,you guys are fine.Try it,you will be happy you did.

Goodluck!

@obyrich... I understand u. I thought was that he should have at least let me know he was going to discuss it. I know it was not enof reason to call it off but I was upset when he said I should keep my words to myself and not tell him anything any more, he knows communication with him is a big deal for me and I couldn't believe he said that and he repeated it. I was angry. and u are also right, maybe im not mature enof for marriage....lol

@carmelion: Thank you, i appreciate it. I thought about everything u said and u are right for most part. I just wanted everything to be perfect before we get married, it was before, but now.....
what if it was other issues and i told him in trust not to reveal to the next person, how do i trust that he wont. Thats my fear and instead of him to admit he was wrong to have done that, he said to keep my words to myself next time. that doesn't seem right to me.

@ralfo85....thank you

dsgirl: @ Mr Cork London: what info do u need?

..u fine?

carmelion: Just giving my humble opinion though you can either decide to take it or leave it.

Your guy was humble enough to let you know that he has told someone else.What if he did tell his dad but kept mute about it.Besides,if i were in his shoes,I would do same.

My fiancee cannot tell me what his family is saying about our marriage plans,and then expect me to keep it to my self.No way!heeelloooo.......I have a family too.I mean,if i hide it from them,and they later find out,when things go wrong,they would be so mad at me for saying it late.
I think i prefer it when couple have little fights like this,instead of pretending to each other jut for the sake of peace.

Babe ,you acted on impulse you know ,no one wants to be called a coward but trust me,if such trivial issues can make you call off your wedding,then you can as well not get married now,untill you are psychologically ready.Who says he might still not call you a coward even in marriage?what happens then?You file for a divorce?


I know you are trying not not hurt your ego here or make it look as if you are begging for marriage.But how about calling him so that you guys can have a chat.Tell him you said those things out of anger.Trust me he will apologize to you too.And before you know it,you guys are fine.Try it,you will be happy you did.

Goodluck!

epistle ontop simpu advise? u bi DN?

My dear, seems you don't know that marriage is a lifetime contract until death do you part. It was childish of you to call off the wedding because of a lil argument that wasn't necessary. how would your people feel about the sudden calling off of the wedding. Is this how you gonna pick up little quarrels with him when you eventually get married to him? I doubt if he is gonna call you on phone. remove the pride in you,call him and apologize. don't wait for him to call! it's your joyous moment you have been waiting for so don't ruin it by yourself.

OP ----> How old are you?

@op hw exactly did your fiancee betray you we need more clarification on these so as not to be dishing out wrong judgement ? And u were wrong by telling him that you were done wiv him and u even told him to go to hell is this hw u want to be behaviing when u finally get married to him I sense one thing in you , you lack ~TOLERANCE if you can not tolerate little things he does now I am sorry u will use your hands to destroy your marriage which any way u just started and pls go sort yourself out first because you are not ready to get married yet go for anger managemnt classes my point is u were too quick in reacting ,marriage and relationship need patience + tolerance to make it work and Gods guidance in both of your lives.. Do away with your pride and Ego go and apologise to him and get your plans back on track men have more pride than women but one must submitt to the other no matter d circumstance

Was it a play marriage you guys were planning, cuz this issue seems too childish to be coming up now. Your best move would be to call him, he's probably expecting the call.

Op, haba! Why na? It's not worth it at all!!!
Anger management: Zero!
Tolerance: Zero!
Pride: 100%

If you actually know the energy and effort needed to plan a good wedding, you won't do what you did!

I guess what you told your guy troubled him a lot and he couldn't bear it alone, hence he needed to confide in someone else for advice and he found his dad perfect!
If it were you, you'ld probably have done same too. Considering the gravity of what you told him.

Op, sincerely your psycological readiness for marriage is still very poor.

Go and beg him! Make him realise you did all that cos you felt betrayed and you didn't mean the break up.

Good luck!

after formin hard lady for ur fiancee,u come here de cry lyk a baby...screw u!!!!! go and apologs young lady!!!

lemme get one tin straight, your problem is weda u should collect back d money u used to make reservations? like seriously? u claim to love him yet u said something out of anger and pride prevented u from apologizing. lady, u are wrong.

to d marriage issue, its lyk dat. 2 diff families wit der different ideologies are coming together to plan a day, ofcz der ll be conflict. he loves his family as much as u love urs so don't expect him to keep dem in d dark esp wen no harm was done.

visit ur man, apologize and mean it. u r d woman here, d wiser, calmer, more diplomatic one, dats why u r a she. begin to act lyk one, get ur temper under control and learn ow to manage crisis and lessen tension. im sorry to say, tins may not get better, as much as he loves u, he loves his family too and he needs der support. dis isn't a tym to show dat he is urs alone, heck, u ain't even family yet.

go get ur fiance back before its too late. wen next issues arise, don't be quick to act, compromise where u can..... its ur marriage and der wedding, dats wat it is.

gree-die:
lemme get one tin straight, your problem is weda u should collect back d money u used to make reservations? like seriously? u claim to love him yet u said something out of anger and pride prevented u from apologizing. lady, u are wrong.

to d marriage issue, its lyk dat. 2 diff families wit der different ideologies are coming together to plan a day, ofcz der ll be conflict. he loves his family as much as u love urs so don't expect him to keep dem in d dark esp wen no harm was done.

visit ur man, apologize and mean it. u r d woman here, d wiser, calmer, more diplomatic one, dats why u r a she. begin to act lyk one, get ur temper under control and learn ow to manage crisis and lessen tension. im sorry to say, tins may not get better, as much as he loves u, he loves his family too and he needs der support. dis isn't a tym to show dat he is urs alone, heck, u ain't even family yet.

go get ur fiance back before its too late. wen next issues arise, don't be quick to act, compromise where u can..... its ur marriage and der wedding, dats wat it is.

GBAM!,you nailed it!

The OP is a fool. Very immature and a disgrace to her family.

I dont see any betayal in all of this. Na wa o, in a world where men are scarce to marry, somebody dey do yanga.

Kpekele kpekele aru gbo je bese, ta lo ma son?

Just imagine? Telling a husband to be what to do. The guy never marry you, you dey tell am what to do. I laugh.

My friend, just go queue up in line with the single ladies still 'searching' and wait for your turn.

You cant even control your temper. That guy had better be thanking his God. God has revealed to him you are NOT his wife. Let him be. The last thing I want in my life is a woman with hot temper. God forbid!

obyrich: You asked for a break up. You got it. You are here complaining. You are not matured enough for marriage. You are carrying impatience and intolerance into marriage? My dear you are very wrong. Your husband MUST not consult you on every thing. Go ahead and call off the wedding and give your old folks the embarrassment of their life. Please you have not told us your real concerns about him. I didnt see any betrayal in his action. There is more to marriage than wedding ceremony.Go and humbly beg him. You are quick to anger.

gree-die:
lemme get one tin straight, your problem is weda u should collect back d money u used to make reservations? like seriously? u claim to love him yet u said something out of anger and pride prevented u from apologizing. lady, u are wrong.

to d marriage issue, its lyk dat. 2 diff families wit der different ideologies are coming together to plan a day, ofcz der ll be conflict. he loves his family as much as u love urs so don't expect him to keep dem in d dark esp wen no harm was done.

visit ur man, apologize and mean it. u r d woman here, d wiser, calmer, more diplomatic one, dats why u r a she. begin to act lyk one, get ur temper under control and learn ow to manage crisis and lessen tension. im sorry to say, tins may not get better, as much as he loves u, he loves his family too and he needs der support. dis isn't a tym to show dat he is urs alone, heck, u ain't even family yet.

go get ur fiance back before its too late. wen next issues arise, don't be quick to act, compromise where u can..... its ur marriage and der wedding, dats wat it is.

seconded

definitely he shud be a BABY HUSBAND........ https://www.nairaland.com/1266158/types-husband-men-what-type

#JUSTSAYING#

I am surprised you guys are putting all the blame on the lady, quite harsh to call the OP a fool.

My lady, I will advise you on this from experience, my fiancee once had issues with my family and i did not for once tell her about it. It is all about impression.If i let her know she is not welcomed, she will see them as enemies and the hostilities will start. Even when she noticed some of the issues i down played them.

The way family members feel about their in laws to be if not properly managed by the couple, the end of theire relationship will just be by the corner. If you really told your fiance not to tell his family about an issue especially when it had to be about how one family feels about their in law and he went ahead to say it, i agree with you it is a clear case of betrayal. I also take it that he is not matured enough to be call a man not to talk of been call husband. How many more times will he jump to his parents to tell them about your other issues.

You also need to be told the truth...you obviously over re-acted. It is not a masculine world where the man is always right and the woman is always wrong. But when anyone is wrong, the other should help in correcting the wrongs and not to say I am right. Good you know the power of communication in relationships, call your fiance and discuss with him.

One important thing i found in my few years of marriage, if one is wrong, both of you are wrong and you must both come together to make amends.

I doubt the authenticity of this story,if you really worried,NL would be the last place on your mind.

Abegi,just because NL frontpage is filled with junks,doesn't mean you should insult our intelligence.

In my 5th year in marriage, If you can call off a wedding that has taken months/years to plan for a simple matter like this then you should be ready when you get married cos you bound to see things you never imagined.


Maybe then it would be cutlas & gun fights then.

Woman swallow your pride, apologize and have a blessed married life.

U r too immature to get married...give urself time to mature emotionally and always kip ur anger in check...

*shakes head*

@OP.. am sorry for you.

You seem to have all the ingredient of a bad wife.
- Hot temper
- Selfish
- Egocentric
and to crown it all.. sorry to say this o. Foolish.

I hope the Man can see the light in this..and just let u be. You are not a good material atall.

What is this top government secret that no one should know of? I don't even understand how something like this can lead to a break up.

He prolly shouldn't have told his dad like he promised but did you pause for a second to ask why he told his dad or what led to telling his dad? You seem a like a very hot tempered person and that's a minus on your part.

dsgirl: I'm back again with my serious need for advice.
I have been engaged for a while now and i have started planning my wedding which was to come up in October. The problem now is that I just broke up with my fiancée last night.
We had an argument over him betraying me. I told him about what my family is saying about the wedding arrangement and told him not to say anything to this parents yet because my family haven't concluded, that I was just filling him in to know how its going. After about a week he told me that he told his dad what I said. I got really upset saying we had an agreement, he was not suppose to go tell anyone without letting me know. Its not the fact that he told his dad that im mad at but the fact that I specifically begged him not to say anything to anyone yet and we agreed on it and now he went behind me to tell someone without talking to me first, that got me pissed. After a long argument for two days he said I should keep my words and not tell him anything any more. I got really upset and told him I was done with him, done with the wedding plans and that he should go to hell and I hung up.
He called back to confirm I meant with I said and when I would not repeat it, he called me a coward n bla bla bla and because I am not a coward, i told him that I meant everything I said, that we were done and over. He said he wished me well and he prayed that God would provide my own man for me
Now, he hasn't called and I have not called, not that im expecting him to call me because i know he wont, but my mind is so running marathon now, don't know what to do and that's why im here.
I have made reservations here and there, don't know if to go and collect my money back...(I have limited days to wait)
I haven't said anything to any member of my family because I really do not know what to say and how to say it so as not to look stupid
I want to call him but with all that is on ground, the arguments, misunderstanding over the phone i'm having double mind about this marriage already
one thing stands though, i love him, he has been the closest person to me and its hard to let go.

pls advise me.
I can give more info if you need.

You were immature and not ready for marriage.

dsgirl: I'm back again with my serious need for advice.
I have been engaged for a while now and i have started planning my wedding which was to come up in October. The problem now is that I just broke up with my fiancée last night.
We had an argument over him betraying me. I told him about what my family is saying about the wedding arrangement and told him not to say anything to this parents yet because my family haven't concluded, that I was just filling him in to know how its going. After about a week he told me that he told his dad what I said. I got really upset saying we had an agreement, he was not suppose to go tell anyone without letting me know. Its not the fact that he told his dad that im mad at but the fact that I specifically begged him not to say anything to anyone yet and we agreed on it and now he went behind me to tell someone without talking to me first, that got me pissed. After a long argument for two days he said I should keep my words and not tell him anything any more. I got really upset and told him I was done with him, done with the wedding plans and that he should go to hell and I hung up.
He called back to confirm I meant with I said and when I would not repeat it, he called me a coward n bla bla bla and because I am not a coward, i told him that I meant everything I said, that we were done and over. He said he wished me well and he prayed that God would provide my own man for me
Now, he hasn't called and I have not called, not that im expecting him to call me because i know he wont, but my mind is so running marathon now, don't know what to do and that's why im here.
I have made reservations here and there, don't know if to go and collect my money back...(I have limited days to wait)
I haven't said anything to any member of my family because I really do not know what to say and how to say it so as not to look stupid
I want to call him but with all that is on ground, the arguments, misunderstanding over the phone i'm having double mind about this marriage already
one thing stands though, i love him, he has been the closest person to me and its hard to let go.

pls advise me.
I can give more info if you need.

OP, couples fight. Yes, even married ones. And people do say things like that. . .

To solve your problem - it is a BIG problem - you will need to tell one of your parents so you and your fiance can sit down together and make sure everyone has cooled down, thinking rationally and have made a final decision. I hope the wedding goes forward. We all make mistakes when we're angry, and say foolish things in the heat of an argument. Best wishes to you, girl.