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Jah Man:
Why should he relax?
why do you guys get uncomfortable with giving your life to Jesus?
Don't you get it? At the end of everything in this life,that is all that matters?
Please give your life to Jesus Christ.
"Except ye repent,ye will all likewise perish"

obi4eze: Hmmm... This is pathetic! You and your hubby really need help. Well, every problem has a foundation and a solution. You must get to the source before you find the solution. Please ask yourself some questions like: how did all these problems start? Where have we (you and your hubby) gone wrong? What is the foundation of your marriage? I must tell you that problems are common in life but there are always solutions. Direct your problems to the Greatest Problem Solver (God). If you aren't His Child yet, you can become One now and desperately seek a solution by faith in Him.
Wish you all the best

Shinatu: This is the problem, when we condemn ladies for not getting married and makelife difficult for those that are not by asking them to 'go and marry'. They settle for less, end up with men they can just get by with , they just bear the men enough to have kids (since that is what they realy want anyway) and then cannot bear the thought of being touched by them and end up leaving miserable lives for the sake of the Children

What a pity.

PacificGuy: I need honest and constructive advice from my Beloved Nairalanders. I have been married for a little over a year now. In the earlier years of our relationship, it seemed as though we shared similar values (still does sometimes) but must importantly, even though I loved him desperately, I knew he loved me even more. Barely a couple of months into our marriage, I fell pregnant. Though it was a fairly easy pregnancy compared to most other horrible experiences I've come across, I was left with zero sex drive. I'd always be quite fit and beautiful but the pregnancy made me feel permanently ill and unattractive and this affected my desire for sex. Despite this, I kept at it knowing fully well that there was another person with needs and desires to be met. Sex stopped being as frequent as before - but it was there.
Between then and now, my husband has become a serial cheat. Keeping late nights everyday with all sorts of women calling even when he finally gets home by 2am.


He is being mentally and emotionally abusive (never physically because he is too manipulative for that) . The worst part of it is that as a woman you know when your husband is cheating. I see the proofs - phone conversations, captured nude screen shots of other women etc... And he keeps trying to make me feel like I'm crazy and paranoid. It has gotten to the stage where I feel so rubbed and cheated. I cringe when he touches me now and try to force a reaction when we are having sex. I simply can't shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal. And I now feel as though I'm being held prisoner because in my heart I know I deserve better.

I've got 2 degrees from some of the best universities in the Nigeria. I have a job that most people could only dream of. I earn at least 3 times more than what he earns. And in the few months after the birth of my baby, I have returned to a size 6. Yet I still try to be the wife our mothers teach us to be. I know better hence I feel deeply cheated. Try as I may, this feeling has taken over my mind to the point where even the thought of being intimate with him feels like a betrayal to myself and fills me with disgust! At this point, I'm at the end of my ropes and I don't know what to do... Kindly advice... Thank you.

AnanseK: I'm sorry Dear but you started it. If you deny your man sex , be sure he will find it elsewhere and now you hate him for that . It becomes a vicious circle but since you " have 2 university degrees and earn 3x your man's salary " why don't you break up? - you the Oga at the top.

Wizee: Oga Relax!!

sir mally: He truly doesn't deserve you, if he could be this wicked because of sex how much more when you don't have a job and rely on him, my sister if he is still cheating run while u have the chance before he would give you aids and spoil your future

dnawah: My sister ur solution is not here.it is in heaven,just bend ur kneels small and pray.God will surely bring ur man back.

Tropilo:

U sure are a very bad adviser and from your words probably a bad influence as well.
Did you read the post before yours? That individual from the post shows he/she respects the marriage institution.

@OP: We have not heard from Mr. Husband (we may never hear his side), but from experience i know that women can be too "telly" and therefore sometimes over react in issues like this.

From your post you tend to be too boastful. Are you sure that your job and earnings 3 times his is not making you over bloated and consequently somehow, just somehow affecting the way and manner you see Mr. Husband?

Please, try and talk with your man one-on-one to get to the bottom of the problem. One person has to play the mature one here and i'll like it to be you.

Please, do not mind the NL confirmed home-brakers o!

CAMEROONPRIDE: ^^,lmao are u on mission? Her story sounds like someone who has already taken her decision. + she sounds bitter and angry..read again her last paragraph...who cares about her degrees or salary? She can always earn that and still not contribute ( very common about women)

She is just being boastful

I'm too good blah blah blah , my husband doesn't deserve me blah blah

mu2sa2: Mentoning her salary- seems to me that she's looking down on her husband. Some educated woman feel marriage is only for having children in wedlock; so having had a child or two, the husband becomes a liability or nonentity(this woman is about to hav her child). Unless this atittude is discarded, you can't hav a happy marriage.

ideal94: Solution:
* Give ur Life to JESUS:
Be Born again,surrender all to him,he cares for u,he loves u, knows ur pain/hurt, 'Come to me all ye dt labour n heavy in heart n i will give u rest'. Welcome d Holy Spirit ur best Counsellor,Guide,Teacher,Standby,Best Friend into ur life, Develop a Personal r/p with ur Creator, make him nos 1 followed by ur Husband.
* Prayer of Forgiveness:

What kind of advice is this?
'The Lord's prayer say ' Forgive us our Sins,as we forgive those who trespass/sin against us......' , Pray dt God shld forgive u ur Sins- of Anger,Hurts in ur heart towards ur partner, Pray for a Clean Heart, By d Blood of Jesus n free urself from every thought dt keeps u in boundage by d Blood of Jesus.
*Pray God for a New Love towards ur partner, there is nothing we ask God from a Clean Heart dt he does not ANSWER us.
* Forgive ur Partner Consciously ,Sincerely,from within in Prayers to God by d Blood of Jesus,make it ur creed every time d thoughts rises from within.
* With d WISDOM of GOD : Express urself verbally to ur partner,empty ur mind to Him and BE CAREFUL DO NOT CONDEM,ABUSE,JUDGE ur partners for his acts ,Remember u have forgiven him. Tell him u have forgiven him.
*ALWAYS PRAY 4 Him- his will,mind,emotions,spiritual,social,physical life everything should conform to Gods Standard.
*ALWAYS LOVE ur partner:
Pregnancy/Baby/Job/Too much Activity, should Not hinder ur INTIMACY/SEX LIFE with ur partner.
Treat him like a Baby -He wants dt, cos other ladies will treat him like dt if u dont.
* Apreciate/Respect Him,DO NOT Over-Look His Act of Kindness, Tell him SWEET WORDS cos he want dt.
* LOVE YOURSELF:
Pamper urself wit good things, ALWAYS LOOK VERY VERY ATTRACTIVE TO HIM,
Good outfits, make up,romantic fragrances,make ur home/room attractive,healty foods. etc
* Read Good Books dt address ur situation, Go On-Line for informations .
* INITIATE FAMILY PRAYERS it helps, A FAMILY THATS PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER.

PacificGuy: I need honest and constructive advice from my Beloved Nairalanders. I have been married for a little over a year now. In the earlier years of our relationship, it seemed as though we shared similar values (still does sometimes) but must importantly, even though I loved him desperately, I knew he loved me even more. Barely a couple of months into our marriage, I fell pregnant. Though it was a fairly easy pregnancy compared to most other horrible experiences I've come across, I was left with zero sex drive. I'd always be quite fit and beautiful but the pregnancy made me feel permanently ill and unattractive and this affected my desire for sex. Despite this, I kept at it knowing fully well that there was another person with needs and desires to be met. Sex stopped being as frequent as before - but it was there.
Between then and now, my husband has become a serial cheat. Keeping late nights everyday with all sorts of women calling even when he finally gets home by 2am.

He is being mentally and emotionally abusive (never physically because he is too manipulative for that) . The worst part of it is that as a woman you know when your husband is cheating. I see the proofs - phone conversations, captured nude screen shots of other women etc... And he keeps trying to make me feel like I'm crazy and paranoid. It has gotten to the stage where I feel so rubbed and cheated. I cringe when he touches me now and try to force a reaction when we are having sex. I simply can't shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal. And I now feel as though I'm being held prisoner because in my heart I know I deserve better.

I've got 2 degrees from some of the best universities in the Nigeria. I have a job that most people could only dream of. I earn at least 3 times more than what he earns. And in the few months after the birth of my baby, I have returned to a size 6. Yet I still try to be the wife our mothers teach us to be. I know better hence I feel deeply cheated. Try as I may, this feeling has taken over my mind to the point where even the thought of being intimate with him feels like a betrayal to myself and fills me with disgust! At this point, I'm at the end of my ropes and I don't know what to do... Kindly advice... Thank you.