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Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by idriis: 8:07pm On May 03, 2013 |
ideal94: Solution:broS where is ur church located? |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by hairyman(m): 8:29pm On May 03, 2013 |
dealslip: i feel for u. i was once in your shoes. it could be insulting and heart wrenching,knowing your husband just cheated and expects your trust and intimacy from you. Most men are insensitive and downright cheats not playing according to the rules of marriage. But know that first, you are not at fault and its common after pregnancy to lose sex drive. Secondly, its nt becos u areunattractive that your husband cheats but because he lacks self control. The women that call don't love him they probably need money and are desperate enough to call at 2am without regards for his home. They equally lack moral to send their nude pictures. They obviously lack self respect and dignity. Like i said earlier on i was once in your shoes, it can be very very infuriating esp when the blame is put your ways. Though circumstances differ but it took God's grace for me to overcome. In my own case, i fought continiously but he didn't change even the girls didn't relent. Sometimes they laughed at me together when they meet behind infact i laid a curse on him at apoint nothing changed but kept on denying until one day, he got so bold to the extent that he swore with God's name asking God to unsettle him and scatter his life if he was guilty adultery. 10 hours after that pronouncement he was in Lion building and implicated in a fraud in the office. Even me that was angry started praying for him. it was at that point that God started healing in our marriage though whenever he came close for sex i always feel like breaking his head with a pestle even one day i bit him so hard, he bled but i just kept on holding to the verse that said forgive 70 * 7 times. i was able to overcome the pain becos its only in forgiveness that you can find healing. Sometime i still feel the hurt but just try to switch my mind off and focus on forgiveness. Now i am having the best time of my marriage and even more fufilling sex life. If you don't forgive you guys will keep moving apart and you will likely suffer the most. Most men are very insensitive becos they were brought up that way by the society not becos they actually mean to but it doesn't mean you should condone such. Also when they call pick their and let them know you are (people may not agree but the girls will respect your space). i hope it helps Did you fighting solve your problem? No it didn't. Most likely it aggravated the situation. You were lucky he fell into a dire condition and was curtailed and like most men do when they are in trouble, ran back into your arms. As a matter of fact, he may start cheating again since the problem was never solved. @OP please do not seek advice here Shalom |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by jjgirljay(f): 8:56pm On May 03, 2013 |
Forgiveness is what you need towards your husband,am not going to advice you to stay or leave the marriage. Can you forgive him? Do you still love him? Is he remorseful about his cheating habit? I think it's unfair for him to accuse you of been crazy and paranoid. If you answer yes to the question your marriage can be saved. Happiness is a rear gem,if u have it hold on to it,if you don't find it. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Mayflowa(m): 9:12pm On May 03, 2013 |
vivalableue: I think that you should Can I propose to you plz? |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by mu2sa2: 9:47pm On May 03, 2013 |
bukatyne:It's her money that's making her feel too big. Pregnancy is a difficult time for any woman, but it's not an excuse to tell off her husband. You can see the effect of that now! |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by debeo: 10:35pm On May 03, 2013 |
Don't be too hasty to conclude. Until u catch him red handed, signs are not enough. if you fell something is wrong, call him,sit him down and talk, things might not be as u think. you need to disabuse ur mind |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by iconaus: 10:44pm On May 03, 2013 |
chris51: I honestly sympathise with you & your husband. Your relationship before marriage was just infatuation and fun but this is the reality of marriage. We all go thru this stage. I'll be celebrating my 40th next month. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by mrvictor: 10:51pm On May 03, 2013 |
sir mally: He truly doesn't deserve you, if he could be this wicked because of sex how much more when you don't have a job and rely on him, my sister if he is still cheating run while u have the chance before he would give you aids and spoil your future[size=16pt]very bad advice![/size] |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Nobody: 10:51pm On May 03, 2013 |
CAMEROONPRIDE: Her mistake was to refuse to have se.x with her husband.period she failed her duty as q wife.your first paragraph is just a heap of crap!so u think opening legs for someone to enter is just an easy thing,mtchew.if she's not feeling it at the moment,she didn't commit a crime.afterall she's carrying their baby.u guyz always reason with ur d*cks.no consideration for the other person.even after all her efforts here u still want to turn it around and blame her for the actions of the randy goat of a husband. 3 Likes |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by omidhe(f): 10:53pm On May 03, 2013 |
*idriis*: Omo ,I tire o ...I wonder where he got all those stuff he scribbled out ...he even havr more problem than the. Op |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by cynthrob(f): 10:59pm On May 03, 2013 |
Hi dearie, i feel ur pain! Ve u watched the film "why did i get married?" Its a good movie. I ll suggest u both go on a vacation, a very romantic place for abt a wk, preferably nature. U could get ur drive back u knw. Leave d baby wit mum and forget abt everytin dat has to do wit anxiety and hope for d best!! |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Lexoria: 11:15pm On May 03, 2013 |
I almost opened another account to post on how my wife is cheating on me because I live abroad and she in Nigeria or because I 'm stressed at work so I couldn't bring the action she wanted in the bedroom or because I 'm at that point where I can 't seem to bring it up for no just cause and she just up and cheated on me or even I have health issues so I 'm on mess and advised against sexual intercourse for 10months just to see what all these men who are blaming this lady will have to say to the man.I decided not to cos I know the answer.They'd tell him to get a divorce ASAP, they 'll rain abuses on his wife and include all Nigerian women as as they rain the insults.Then, not leaving out the holy nweje female folks who will start a charade of insults on the wife for not caring for her husband in trying times.But here are people telling this lady whose husband is now an non-remorseful serial cheat to pray, dress sexy,respect him, pamper him, be grateful he chose her to Marry among other females etc etc etc. All I know is that someday, women will wake up and demand from men to either stick to godly marriage(undefiled bed) or they'd engage in that sex game also. NOW TO ALL MEN WHO ARE READING THIS THREAD OR WHO WILL, I WILL LIKE YO LET YOU ALL KNOW THIS :WHEN YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH YOUR BABY, THERE IS EVERY POSSIBILITY THAT SHE 'LL LOSE HER SEX DRIVE, EVERY WOMAN IS NOT THE SAME.THAT YOUR FRIEND/BROTHER GETS SOME ACTION WITH HIS PREGGY WIFE DOESN 'T MEAN IT 'LL BE SAME FOR YOU.SOMEONE LIKE ME WAS CLIMBING STAIRS IN 2'S AND 3'S EVEN AT 9MONTHS AND I 'M AGILE AND FIT TILL I PUT TO BED( BUT WHEN I SEE OTHER PREGNANT WOMEN WHO HAVE IT WORSE, I UNDERSTAND AND HELP THEM EVEN WITH MY OWN POTRUDING BELLY.SO IF YOUR WIFE HAS IT WORSE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS UNDERSTAND AND TRY TO BE THERE FOR HER AND THERE ARE OTHER THINGS YOU CAN SUBTLY ASK HER TO DO TO SATISFY YOU, THAT IS WHAT A REAL MAN SHOULD DO, NOT RUN OFF TO FIND ANOTHER PUUUSCHY.YOU GUYS ARE MEANT TO READ UP ON PREGNANCY ONCE YOU ARE EXPECTING.NOW,I said all these so that no man who passed this thread will say honestly he didn't know his wife could lose her sex drive while preggy or a lil after the the bundle of joy has been realised into his excited arms.If he does,he'll be adding lying to his list. I rest my case. 3 Likes |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by mrvictor: 12:06am On May 04, 2013 |
Divorce is not the solution. Your child will forever be a bond between you and that man. First of all, you have to open your mind. You have the keys to the solution and none else. Communication is the wall between the two of you. Create the mood. Have a heart to heart talk with your man. Don' hate him, love him. Initiate an open-minded conversation with him and not confrontation. He is not a devil just as you are not. He loves loving and being loved just like you. "Men are like babies, don't forget" Create the mood. Find out why he got got into that lifestyle. You might be shocked to find out you created more than half the problem your are now experiencing. You still can solve it. Did/Do you make him comfortable or uncomfortable around you? What have you told him in the past? ...how earn more than he does?...how you feed and house him? ...Men hate being run down no matter their status. ...Men don't like being told they are worth less than real men. A man, no matter how small he is (even a 3year old boy) naturally doesn't like being told he is not man enough. Such mentions are easy ways to quietly send your man away from you and get him into trying to prove his worth in anyway possible. Who do you talk to? Have you involved wrong friends that will rather suggest things that will destroy your home while they sit back, watch and laugh at you? You need to read books and develop yourself so that you can handle him better. Try some helpful books like "Why You behave the way you do", "Opposites Attract(bringing out the best in your spouse's temperament)" by Tim Lahaye, Heart to Heart; the art of communication, Men are from Venus Women are from Mars, etc. Is he now avoiding you? Men are known to be less confrontational than women. They tend to run away from troubles while a woman naturally would stand to confront, fight, whine, cry and nag. Please, don't ever chase him away. Make him welcome. I tell you that man will kneel & apologize someday soon. You will get your man back. Don't hate him ... Go get your man back! He is yours! You deserve to enjoy your marriage. Make it work! No one else can make it work but you. Even friends have their own headaches too to sort out. Even the marriages you think are doing great, have their own issues but resolve it afterall. Above all, prayer is the master key. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by mrvictor: 12:15am On May 04, 2013 |
PacificGuy: I need honest and constructive advice from my Beloved Nairalanders. I have been married for a little over a year now. In the earlier years of our relationship, it seemed as though we shared similar values (still does sometimes) but must importantly, even though I loved him desperately, I knew he loved me even more. Barely a couple of months into our marriage, I fell pregnant. Though it was a fairly easy pregnancy compared to most other horrible experiences I've come across, I was left with zero sex drive. I'd always be quite fit and beautiful but the pregnancy made me feel permanently ill and unattractive and this affected my desire for sex. Despite this, I kept at it knowing fully well that there was another person with needs and desires to be met. Sex stopped being as frequent as before - but it was there. Divorce is not the solution, my sister. Your child will forever be a bond between you and that man. First of all, you have to open your mind. You have the keys to the solution and none else. Communication is the wall between the two of you. Create the mood. Have a heart to heart talk with your man. Don' hate him, love him. Initiate an open-minded conversation with him and not confrontation. He is not a devil just as you are not. He loves loving and being loved just like you. "Men are like babies, don't forget" Create the mood. Find out why he got got into that lifestyle. You might be shocked to find out you created more than half the problem your are now experiencing. You still can solve it. Did/Do you make him comfortable or uncomfortable around you? Get him to talk and enjoy himself around you. What have you told him in the past? ...how earn more than he does?...how you feed and house him? ...Men hate being run down no matter their status. ...Men don't like being told they are worth less than real men. A man, no matter how small he is (even a 3year old boy) naturally doesn't like being told he is not man enough. Such mentions are easy ways to quietly send your man away from you and get him into trying to prove his worth in anyway possible. You might have deprived him of seexx which a very dangerous action in marriage, but nonetheless, it is not too late to fix. Who do you talk to? Have you involved wrong friends that will rather suggest things that will destroy your home while they sit back, watch and laugh at you? You need to read books and develop yourself so that you can handle him better. Try some helpful books like "Why You behave the way you do", "Opposites Attract(bringing out the best in your spouse's temperament)" by Tim Lahaye, Heart to Heart; the art of communication, Men are from Venus Women are from Mars, etc. Is he now avoiding you? Men are known to be less confrontational than women. They tend to run away from troubles while a woman naturally would stand to confront, fight, whine, cry and nag. Please, don't ever chase him away. Make him welcome. I tell you that man will kneel & apologize someday soon. You will get your man back. Don't hate him ... Go get your man back! He is yours! You deserve to enjoy your marriage. Make it work! No one else can make it work but you. Even friends have their own headaches too to sort out. Even the couples you think are doing great, have their own issues but resolve it afterall. Above all, prayer is the master key. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Meristem: 12:16am On May 04, 2013 |
To every story there are 2 sides. the babe may be lying for all i care |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by fr3do(m): 2:13am On May 04, 2013 |
Vikin: Just tell him what you just wrote here, and if he still continues....send him out of your house .... she earns thrice of his salary doesn't mean she has the house! |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by BigBossMan(m): 5:34am On May 04, 2013 |
HELLO POSTER FIRST AND FOREMOST, LET ME THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY. I JUST LEARNT A VITAL LESSON FROM IT. MY WIFE IS PREGNANT NOW I WAS CONSIDERING GET THE GETTING IT (SEX) FROM "OUTSIDE" SINCE OUR SEX-LIFE IS AT ITS LOWEST EBB NOW. BUT WITH YOUR STORY, I WONT TRY THAT! THANKS FROM WHAT I COULD DEDUCE, YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND WERE FOND OF EACH OTHER BEFORE AND IN THE EARLY STAGE OF YOUR MARRIAGE. YOU GUYS NEED TO BRING BACK THE GOOD OLD DAYS. THE FIRST STEP IS COMMUNICATION: DISCUSS THE PROBLEM WITH HIM WITHOUT NAGGING (SORRY IF THAT HURTS) FOLLOWED BY GENUINE FORGIVENESS: FORGIVE HIM SO THAT YOU CAN FREE YOURSELF FROM THE BITTERNESS INSIDE. REMEMBER LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF WRONG DOINGS. FINALLY HOLD ON TO YOUR MARRIAGE COS THE GRASS LOOKS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE NB: THE TALK ABOUT YOUR SUPERIOR JOB AND SALARY SHOULD NOT ARISE! IT WILL ONLY WIDEN THE DIVIDE. REMAIN BLESSED |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by BijiAgam(f): 8:06am On May 04, 2013 |
ya realy forgivness is paramant just lik we always want our heavenly father to forgive us. u hav to forgive him and always pray for him, pray for ur home, most importantly u hav to b born again and God will suprise u. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by chyket(m): 8:28am On May 04, 2013 |
This Lady sounds materialistic and proud,I think they could make a headway if she comes down to talk and reason with the Husband in a more respectful and emotional way.I guess He will change.I ve been married for 12 yrs and I know that for a married man to start coming home consistenly by 2am,it means He is trying to prove a point to her |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by thoniann(m): 8:37am On May 04, 2013 |
You earn 3 times more than he does earn? Babe, i can worship you forever. Leave that scum and come to my open and warm embrace. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Nobody: 8:47am On May 04, 2013 |
adewal15: So the best on your mind for her is divorce?pls stop... When a guy cheats on his wife constantly, and isn't even discreet about it, that means he's past caring, and has no respect for his wife. In most cases, the husband wants the wife to initiate the divorce, so he'll come up smelling of roses. That way, he'll be seen as the victim, and the wife as the monster who dared divorce her husband. Divorce is much better than a loveless marriage, it's not taboo, it's reality. These two should go their separate ways, before the relationship becomes destructive. There's a child to consider too, and such a relationship is far from healthy. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Nobody: 8:57am On May 04, 2013 |
Ignore the cheating aspect and live your life, after all he is your husband and will eventually come back to you when he is through. Shit happens but it doesn't last for long. but if you cant let go of the cheating aspect and move on then confront him and make him understand your feelings and if possible, visit a physiologist with him. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by biolabee(m): 8:59am On May 04, 2013 |
Big BossMan: HELLO POSTER I like that someone has learnt a lot from this... However you did not need to type in caps |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by powerblaze(m): 9:03am On May 04, 2013 |
sir mally: He truly doesn't deserve you, if he could be this wicked because of sex how much more when you don't have a job and rely on him, my sister if he is still cheating run while u have the chance before he would give you aids and spoil your future So of all the advice on earth, this is wat your brain could come up with? Mugu |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Nobody: 9:13am On May 04, 2013 |
powerblaze: So of all the advice on earth, this is wat your brain could come up with? Mugu He has the right of opinion, so your insults were uncalled for. If you disagree with the opinion of others, then for Pete's sake, state why, without being rude about it! 2 Likes |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by dad007(m): 9:30am On May 04, 2013 |
chris51: I honestly sympathise with you & your husband. Your relationship before marriage was just infatuation and fun but this is the reality of marriage. We all go thru this stage. I'll be celebrating my 40th next month. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by ddeola: 9:43am On May 04, 2013 |
Sit him down and have a heart-to-heart talk with him and express you deep feelings perhaps there's something he is no longer seeing in you,also HIV/AIDS is real.He should not expose you to this avoidable risk |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Birdmanjnr(m): 10:12am On May 04, 2013 |
Nashville: Nashville: Nashville:so true, @op needs to tell us his reaction precedent and not only his action subsequent to her own action. If he truly loves her, he wont be comfortable doing all these. Try dialogue, it works. Goodluck |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Birdmanjnr(m): 10:23am On May 04, 2013 |
*idriis*:if u want to b converted u r welcome but anything contrary and negative then 4get, his church is everything proof. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by Nobody: 10:43am On May 04, 2013 |
lorretta u: your first paragraph is just a heap of crap!so u think opening legs for someone to enter is just an easy thing,mtchew.if she's not feeling it at the moment,she didn't commit a crime.afterall she's carrying their baby.u guyz always reason with ur d*cks.no consideration for the other person.even after all her efforts here u still want to turn it around and blame her for the actions of the randy goat of a husband. Marriage is not for everyone. Opening your legs is a duty, esp when your marriage is endangered, your lots can open their legs for BlackBerry or promotions but want to tell us that they can open their legs for their husband? So the dude was supposed to starve during 9months because madam is not in the mood to b intimaten. Anywayc at least he didn't "rape" her. Again marriage is not for everyone you can deny me something and except that I won't look for another way to have it. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by josite: 11:36am On May 04, 2013 |
obviously u have the better part of the problem and the attitude.your husband coming home at 2am shows he must have been an irresponsible fellow for quite a long time before this issue arose.your statements sounds like u really got less than u deserve .both of u lack wisdom and sooner or latter something will break unless u seek and obtain wise counsel.wisdom is the principal thing,get wisdom. |
Re: My Skin Crawls When My Husband Touches Me (help!) by sultanemerald(m): 12:37pm On May 04, 2013 |
slimyem: @bolded..doesn't she? Thankfully,you answered the question yourself.That's not a response. Its in her own words. She said all these. Someone who claims her. Husband loves her. How come she brought in career and all. And let me say, if a pregnancy brings sadness to a married woman, something is wrong somewhere. Children at least in our culture are the joys of womanhood. |
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