@Jenny, that is it, she she doesn't find out what the truth is now, in no long time, the truth will manifest.

I still talk am oooo, Edo man will not stay with a nagging woman not to talk of abusive woman, especially if he is from the side I come from, he chop vegetable ni? If he chop am, inlaws no chop am, na them go fire the woman, for the fact that some of them still give her ears means, the woman is not all wrong and bad.

@Bettymafy, no one is being sentimental here, for 17 years, not 5years, the woman surely will have her own side of the story. Read in between the lines to judge.

biolabee: Pls can a lawyer in the house exactly explain customary marrige and its implications for common law marriage
If a man has been with a woman for 17 years with 4 grown kids and yet people still say because there is no court marriage or trad there is no union

I bow o

What are you saying? Where does it say anywhere that there was a customary marriage? Why would the man go around describing himself as single, wouldn't he need to go through some legal/approved proceedings to dissolve it if they were in any kind of marriage whatsoever?

I think all that needs to be said has been said

I just want to add that relocating to Austria might not be feasible/practicable for the man/the couple. A father of a 16 year old is probably no spring chicken himself. Is love enough for him to subject himself to starting over in Europe? Doing what? How long would it take him to earn enough to support the children he left behind? Maybe I missed it but I don't recall anything about what kind of life the cousin had in Austria. Going back abroad is not easy for everyone. You would need to have fully integrated prior to moving to Naija, otherwise, going back means starting from scratch.

There are many Nigerians who cannot just move back abroad because there really is nothing to go back to.

biolabee: Pls can a lawyer in the house exactly explain customary marrige and its implications for common law marriage
If a man has been with a woman for 17 years with 4 grown kids and yet people still say because there is no court marriage or trad there is no union

I bow o

And even if there was a union, can't any of the parties opt out when they feel they have had enough?

caropy: @Jenny, that is it, she she doesn't find out what the truth is now, in no long time, the truth will manifest.

I still talk am oooo, Edo man will not stay with a nagging woman not to talk of abusive woman, especially if he is from the side I come from, he chop vegetable ni? If he chop am, inlaws no chop am, na them go fire the woman, for the fact that some of them still give her ears means, the woman is not all wrong and bad.

@Bettymafy, no one is being sentimental here, for 17 years, not 5years, the woman surely will have her own side of the story. Read in between the lines to judge.

Ok, let's even assume she has her own side of the story. Lets say the man is nothing close to a saint, but they had broken up and seperated before the man remarried. Whether they were together for donkey years or not, they eventually called it a day. So apparently, the ex knew they were over! Why the sudden 360degree turn in action when she realised the man had remarried?

bettymafy:

And even if there was a union, can't any of the parties opt out when they feel they have had enough?


Ok, let's even assume she has her own side of the story. Lets say the man is nothing close to a saint, but they had broken up and seperated before the man remarried. Whether they were together for donkey years or not, they eventually called it a day. So apparently, the ex knew they were over! Why the sudden 360degree turn in action when she realised the man had remarried?

ileobatojo:

What are you saying? Where does it say anywhere that there was a customary marriage? Why would the man go around describing himself as single, wouldn't he need to go through some legal/approved proceedings to dissolve it if they were in any kind of marriage whatsoever?

im surprised at some comments here.. because some of you are less forgiving and attack men who have even done less than this

So the fact that there is no court marriage or a man carries himself as single while he has a woman who has borne 4 kids for him is not of importance

That is why i want to know what the disposition of the law in respect of common-law marriage
Because I believe traditionally they are married even if he has not paid the bride price all he needed to do was just do the rites moreover in olden days, the family would still have related to the woman as their wife

Maybe the fact that they are different tribes too is counting against her

honeric01: Funny turn of event.

From the start, everyone supported the op, then came an opposite view, viola, everyone is against the op's story.

Nigerians and sheep mentality!

Point of correction,check my first post,I didn't.I never and will never support evil!tufiakwa! Imagine what desperation will do!

biolabee:

im surprised at some comments here.. because some of you are less forgiving and attack men who have even done less than this

So the fact that there is no court marriage or a man carries himself as single while he has a woman who has borne 4 kids for him is not of importance

Who said it is of no importance? The point is that they are no longer together as of this point in time, and he ended it with her before moving on to the next one. Or what exactly are you saying? So the fact that she has 4 kids means they can't break up? Even if they were married, he could still decide to divorce her.

Because I believe traditionally they are married even if he has not paid the bride price all he needed to do was just do the rites moreover in olden days, the family would still have related to the woman as their wife

Of course you can believe whatever you want, just don't try to pass of your false beliefs as reality. How can they be traditionally married when they haven't performed any of the rites required to be so? You said it yourself, all he needed to do was just do the rites. But he didn't do them. Therefore, they are not married. So once again, what exactly is your point?

ileobatojo: Therefore, they are not married. So once again, what exactly is your point?

The fact that the rites have not been done is of no issue.It does not negate the facts on ground
17 years - 4 kids
I asked lawyers in the house to clarify us on whether this man's situation can be classified as common law marriage

Yes Biola it's common law. Shikena

biolabee:

The fact that the rites have not been done is of no issue.It does not negate the facts on ground
17 years - 4 kids
I asked lawyers in the house to clarify us on whether this man's situation can be classified as common law marriage

First, you insist it is common law marriage, now you want the lawyers in the house to clarify if it is? Lol. Can you be consistent for once please. So which is it? Do you know it is marriage or not?

17yr, 4 kids = 17yr, 4 kids =/= marriage without appropriate recognized marriage rites.

ileobatojo:

First, you insist it is common law marriage, now you want the lawyers in the house to clarify if it is? Lol. Can you be consistent for once please. So which is it? Do you know it is marriage or not?

17yr, 4 kids = 17yr, 4 kids =/= marriage without appropriate recognized marriage rites.

woman,,, listen and see what i said

biolabee: Pls can a lawyer in the house exactly explain customary marrige and its implications for common law marriage
If a man has been with a woman for 17 years with 4 grown kids and yet people still say because there is no court marriage or trad there is no union

I bow o

Only a lawyer can say it is one or not,.. im not a lawyer,,,u called my belief false remember?

jidegirl12: Yes Biola it's common law. Shikena

Well.. i believe it is.. rites or not but only a lawyer can tell us
All i know is that one in terms of fairness, he has been cruel to this woman

even polygamists no dey do like this

From wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage

Common law and statutory marriage have the following characteristics in common:
1. Both parties must freely consent to the marriage
2. Both parties must be of legal age to contract a marriage or have parental consent to marry
3. Neither party may be under a disability that prevents him or her from entering into a valid marriage - e.g. they must both be of sound mind, neither of them can be currently married, and some jurisdictions do not permit prisoners to marry.


Otherwise, common law marriage differs from statutory marriage as follows:
1. There is no marriage license issued by a government and no marriage certificate filed with a government
2. There is no formal ceremony to solemnize the marriage before witnesses
3. The parties must hold themselves out to the world as husband and wife (this is not a requirement of statutory marriage)
4. Most jurisdictions require the parties to be cohabiting at the time the common law marriage is formed. Some require cohabitation to last a certain length of time (e.g. three years) for the marriage to be valid. But cohabitation alone does not create a marriage. The parties must intend their relationship to be, and to be regarded as, a legally valid marriage.

biolabee: Pls can a lawyer in the house exactly explain customary marrige and its implications for common law marriage
If a man has been with a woman for 17 years with 4 grown kids and yet people still say because there is no court marriage or trad there is no union

I bow o

Please stop going around in circles. What you quoted above has the same meaning as your statement below.

biolabee:

That is why i want to know what the disposition of the law in respect of common-law marriage
Because I believe traditionally they are married even if he has not paid the bride price all he needed to do was just do the rites moreover in olden days, the family would still have related to the woman as their wife

Bottom line is you believe they are married. And in the next breath, you say you are not sure and you need a lawyer to confirm.

Common law and statutory marriage have the following characteristics in common:
1. Both parties must freely consent to the marriage
2. Both parties must be of legal age to contract a marriage or have parental consent to marry
3. Neither party may be under a disability that prevents him or her from entering into a valid marriage - e.g. they must both be of sound mind, neither of them can be currently married, and some jurisdictions do not permit prisoners to marry.


Otherwise, common law marriage differs from statutory marriage as follows:
1. There is no marriage license issued by a government and no marriage certificate filed with a government
2. There is no formal ceremony to solemnize the marriage before witnesses
3. The parties must hold themselves out to the world as husband and wife (this is not a requirement of statutory marriage)
4. Most jurisdictions require the parties to be cohabiting at the time the common law marriage is formed. Some require cohabitation to last a certain length of time (e.g. three years) for the marriage to be valid. But cohabitation alone does not create a marriage. The parties must intend their relationship to be, and to be regarded as, a legally valid marriage.

And where in all the above does it say having kids together and cohabiting = marriage?

ileobatojo: xxxxx

Ok.. let the man and woman go ahead naaa

Your cousin will do what she wants to do.
The desperation to be a Mrs outweighs the danger/ threats posed by any ex. Yes I said it.
Never heard of any woman leaving a her bf because an ex threatens her, nigerian woman for that matter lol. As far as the man loves her and does not have anything to do with the ex anymore. That woman ain't going anywhere let alone one who is 38.

Psalm you can only advise your cousin. She herself knows this isn't the best situation. The man was open from the beginning. It wasn't as if she discovered that he had kids and lived with a woman for 17 years. But she still went into the relationship with her two eyes open. She's not an innocent teenager. Let her decide her path and you can offer prayers to God to keep your cousin safe.

[quote author=Ujujoan]

My only BIL till date is not legally married to his 'wife' . . four kids, 2 boys and 2 girls, over 14 years together . . still not married . . no bride price, nothing!

[/quote)

U r so on point!that is my only headache.assumin they were married and d woman then went mad somehow, he can divorce her and seek for hapynes elsewhere, but no, free pussy and children all d way!now even d children will be thinkin,so our mad mummy is not good for marriage abi?
That's why I lv my pple,d lady's family will come and take away d children.go to any court of law u will never win cos u didn't pay a dime so they belong to d woman. Its constitutional.at least it will even out.

@ Psalm
Welcome back, good to see you posting again.

@ Topic
I swear to God, I have to be the laziest person out there because reading all what your cousin is going through has already made me tired. I'm sorry oh but honest to God, I don't have the...the...energy for wahala. If it's a situation that the solution is just around the corner, maybe I can stick it out a bit but one that seems long term like this...I tell ya, the next call you will be getting from me is from Austria asking you my dear cousin what kinda Lace and Jewelry you want (Is it bad that my only reference for Austria is Lace and Jewelry? It is isn't it? Blame my grandma )

Anyhoo, my point is life is meant to be enjoyed abeg....it is too short for crapola. If the dude is really really really interested in me, then take care 'o yo shite (In my best Ghetto banger accent) until then, twas nice knowing ya.

This issue should not even be about the other woman or the man or the children...it should be about YOUR COUSIN! I'm sorry if this sounds self-centered oh but your cousin needs to put herself before anyone....anything (including love...especially love). If she does that, she's gonna realize she doesn't need this drama.

Its unfortunate that some women will involve themselves in this kind of drama. love is really blind. anybody can paint the mom of those kids black but they will always fight for their mom & make ur cousin the intruder. The man has a right to find happiness elsewhere but ur cousin must ask herself if she can stand d heat becos at her age, never married pple will think shes just desperate.

1. Dude believed things would work out because pastors were involved and everybody kept begging to give her time to change.
2. he loves his children more than anything so he also remained for them but according to him wished for a better life for them where they won't be witnesses to the abuse
3. MEN do get abused in relationships too. Whether physical, mental or emotional regardless of what tribe they are
4. there is no need for him to lie about anything. members of his family and her family corroborated 99% of his assertions.
5. He does not want to relocate now because it will take him away from his children and he also has a comfortable job.
6. This isn't about bashing the ex, she is indeed crazy (not as in mental but as in loco) that saying hell hath no fury..... is so true. it's okay for her to start seeing other men now that they've broken up but it is over her dead body that she will see him happy...
7.My cousin can always return back to Austria or the States anytime and whenever she so wished but stubborness runs in my family and she is insiting that no woman will make her change her line or run her out of her husband's house cos she has done no wrong. it is my duty and the duty of the rest of my family to stand by her and protect her and we are doing so.
8. If a computer and free internet was dropped in front of the ex and she was told to come to NL and give her side of the story she would categorically refuse because she knows that right away, you folks will pick her apart and realize that she is indeed manipulative and very trickish.
9. She knows full well why he did not go "knocking" on her parents door.
10. Why didn't the parents insist that he marry her after all these years? According to her brother, they were glad that she was another person's headache and whether money was paid or not or whether marriage was done or not, they were tired of the many troubles she caused them.
11. To the person who says he/she is Edo and know that no Edo man can put up with a troublesome woman for that long, sweety, you don't know all Edo men and there are many guys like this one that will put up with more than what the woman dished out for the sake of peace and children's welfare but one day like the saying goes, "the cup will runneth over" and the man will up and walk and so to hell with this. Being alive and healthy to raise those children is more important than anything else.
12. According to the law, Nigeria does not recognize cohabitation as a form of marriage. She never answered his last name, they never had anything together with the same name. On the birth certificates of the children she used her maiden name
13. From the entire story I heard about this case, this is what I believe happened to these two. They met while in the Univ. started dating she got pregnant, had the son and changed. He kept complaining that her character stunk bust she got worse. friends and pastors told him to stick around and make it work that she will change and he did. She got so comfortable with him spending on her and doing so much for her that she didn't see any reason getting a job to help out financially. She also figured that if she keeps giving him children he will never leave her even if he doesn't marry her. What she never envisioned was that one day he will reach his breaking point and find peace in the arms of another person.
14. I came here to ask for honest advice for these two. What i read a lot of were speculations, hateful comments, insults directed at my cousin. Reference to her age and reason for not being married until now, what she does in Austria, the man marrying her for papers, etc. How this is relevant to the case beats me!

Madam plsm please spare ds! It seems ur minds r made up becos outta like 100 posts less dan 5 pple supported ur coz!
Fine dey were not married but dey were 2gether 4 17yrs! They went 2d same university & because pastors were involved dude tot it wuld work out!
He didn't work afta 5yrs, 10yrs, 15yrs & afta 17yrs wit 4kids it still didn't work out d man backed out! Has d pastor told d dude 2back out now?
Ur coz shld hav a rethink! She shldnt just waste her life unnecessarily all in d name stubbornness? Does she think she will enjoy d marriage?
Afta 2kids y was d man still having s3z wit her & producing children?!
If ur coz were 2b mine, I wuld tell her 2let sleeping dog lie! That man is not d only Man available in ds world dat she has started having issues at d onset of her marriage!
She can never win d love of those kids no matter how she tries 2love them! That man has his responsibilities now & ur coz wil b planning 2hav her own children @ least 1-2!
If he culd endure 4 17yrs, he can endure again!
Ur coz shld ask wot made dat woman changed afta one issue?!
Since dey aint even married if d woman culd b strong she shld take her 4kids aways since d man didn't pay her dowry and those kids will forever hate dir father bocs dey r old enuff 2knw d situation of things now!
So tell her coz 2leave dat man alone
Let her go and look for a man dat won't gve her issues and let dat man go look elsewhere 4 happiness

Thanks for not mincing words nikkykay

I guess if a man leaves his wife of considerable years no one should condemn the person o

Solomon Akiyesi is innocent in dis mata too then
At least there were no kids and he deserves happiness in this short brutish life


When cat sleep rat go bite hin tail
Wetin hin dey find for lagos o
Palaveerr

pslm23: 1. Dude believed things would work out because pastors were involved and everybody kept begging to give her time to change.
2. he loves his children more than anything so he also remained for them but according to him wished for a better life for them where they won't be witnesses to the abuse
3. MEN do get abused in relationships too. Whether physical, mental or emotional regardless of what tribe they are
4. there is no need for him to lie about anything. members of his family and her family corroborated 99% of his assertions.
5. He does not want to relocate now because it will take him away from his children and he also has a comfortable job.
6. This isn't about bashing the ex, she is indeed crazy (not as in mental but as in loco) that saying hell hath no fury..... is so true. it's okay for her to start seeing other men now that they've broken up but it is over her dead body that she will see him happy...
7.My cousin can always return back to Austria or the States anytime and whenever she so wished but stubborness runs in my family and she is insiting that no woman will make her change her line or run her out of her husband's house cos she has done no wrong. it is my duty and the duty of the rest of my family to stand by her and protect her and we are doing so.
8. If a computer and free internet was dropped in front of the ex and she was told to come to NL and give her side of the story she would categorically refuse because she knows that right away, you folks will pick her apart and realize that she is indeed manipulative and very trickish.
9. She knows full well why he did not go "knocking" on her parents door.
10. Why didn't the parents insist that he marry her after all these years? According to her brother, they were glad that she was another person's headache and whether money was paid or not or whether marriage was done or not, they were tired of the many troubles she caused them.
11. To the person who says he/she is Edo and know that no Edo man can put up with a troublesome woman for that long, sweety, you don't know all Edo men and there are many guys like this one that will put up with more than what the woman dished out for the sake of peace and children's welfare but one day like the saying goes, "the cup will runneth over" and the man will up and walk and so to hell with this. Being alive and healthy to raise those children is more important than anything else.
12. According to the law, Nigeria does not recognize cohabitation as a form of marriage. She never answered his last name, they never had anything together with the same name. On the birth certificates of the children she used her maiden name
13. From the entire story I heard about this case, this is what I believe happened to these two. They met while in the Univ. started dating she got pregnant, had the son and changed. He kept complaining that her character stunk bust she got worse. friends and pastors told him to stick around and make it work that she will change and he did. She got so comfortable with him spending on her and doing so much for her that she didn't see any reason getting a job to help out financially. She also figured that if she keeps giving him children he will never leave her even if he doesn't marry her. What she never envisioned was that one day he will reach his breaking point and find peace in the arms of another person.
14. I came here to ask for honest advice for these two. What i read a lot of were speculations, hateful comments, insults directed at my cousin. Reference to her age and reason for not being married until now, what she do
es in Austria, the man marrying her for papers, etc. How this is relevant to the case beats me!

@ 10. U said dey were happy because she was another's headache so dey care less if money was paid or not and her brother story collaborated with ds! I dnt believe a reasonable family will just abandoned dir daughter like dat! In my dre is proverb dat says a ki nle omo buruku pa fun ekun je ( we don't chase a bad child 2 d tiger 2devour)! Have u met her parents? Bocos she maynt b in good terms wit her brother who may happen 2b dude's paddy!

This is perfect example of when the tables have turned. SMH

As a young lady on NL, I'm inspired by many women here from Pslm23, debrief, chaircover, ifyalways, greatGod and many more. I learnt somuch from their unique experiences, but pslm23 you don fall your hand.

With all that you've been through, I expect more from you. I admired your courage to fight for your happiness and when things soured, I wished you well. You take sides because she's your cousin? When Happyness_chima came crying about spinsterhood, people threw cyber rocks at her forgetting that she set her goals for a "single man,never married" and refuse to settle at 31. For your cousin to be 38 and single, only her knows what she spent all her years doing (divorcees and widows are exempt) and you expect her kids to love your cousin because their one and only mummy is bad. Shame on your cousin & her cohorts! If your cousin is a good woman, let her go find her own husband. After 17yrs, you call that babymama as if its 17 weeks. Birds of the same feather. The same way you married a man with grown kids and thats what your cousin is doing too.

Walks out of thread and slams door behind me -- nshi okuko!

biolabee: Thanks for not mincing words nikkykay

I guess if a man leaves his wife of considerable years no one should condmen the person o

Solomon Akiyesi is innocent in dis mata too then
Al least there were no kids


When cat sleep rat go bite hin tail
Wetin hin dey find for lagos o
Palaveerr

We shldnt support shit because somebody is a friend, relative or enemy! Let call a spade a spade!
Ohun ti o da ko da( wot is bad is bad)
If table turns ard and d woman happens 2b poster coz, wot advise wuld u give her afta 17yrs wit a man & 4kids? Will she not say she shld stay dre oo cos no man will want 2marry her wit 4kids?!
Like yoruba wil say kaka ki eku ma je sese a fi she wa danu( for rat not 2eat crubs it will waste it)! That's wot d woman is trying to do!
After turning her 2baby factory 4 17yrs wit 4grown up kids, u now want dump me & marry a youngie, over her dead body! Dey must rock d life 2gether whether dowry is pad or not

nikkykay:
We shldnt support shit because somebody is a friend, relative or enemy! Let call a spade a spade!
Ohun ti o da ko da( wot is bad is bad)
If table turns ard and d woman happens 2b poster coz, wot advise wuld u give her afta 17yrs wit a man & 4kids? Will she not say she shld stay dre oo cos no man will want 2marry her wit 4kids?!
Like yoruba wil say kaka ki eku ma je sese a fi she wa danu( for rat not 2eat crubs it will waste it)! That's wot d woman is trying to do!
After turning her 2baby factory 4 17yrs wit 4grown up kids, u now want dump me & marry a youngie, over her dead body! Dey must rock d life 2gether whether dowry is pad or not

after using the ALL good things from her... why did he not just become a polygamist

Psalm23,what do u really want? U want pple to tell u means to get rid of d first wife?congratulate d man that he has found peace and lv finally? Praise ur sis for gettin married? I ask again,what do u want?
I found out that pple here lv u so much from d way they address u, (reason I don't know)so they r giving u various forms of advice from their heart.forget d tone, that's why we r all diff.u sought for advice,pple gave that to u and u r not happy.maybe u wouldn't hv started this if u know it will go against ur cous and d husband!
Now concernin ur cous,nobody hates her,she deserves happiness but pple r tellin her she got it all wrong.believe me u some hv passed tru dis kind of union and don't wish it on anybody.some hv witnesd it.either way,they r just tellin her d truth.
If u people feel that this is d only way she can be happy,like I said in my first post,I wish her luck cos she might need it.
I rest my case.

Mrs Mansson what's up? you ain't saying a word?

This thread is quite an eye opener. So according to some women here, the man should divorce his wife and go back to his ex.

Am I supposed to assume then that if you were the ex, you would welcome this man back with open arms? Someone that categorically refused to marry you for 17yrs, instead used and abused your a*ss, then proceeded to unceremoniously dump you and marry the next woman to come into his field of vision?

Is there truly no shame in this game?

Everyone deserves happiness. 2 million kids after or not, they have separated. It's like crying foul after divorce saying we slept together and had a billion kids so the other party doesn't deserve happiness. So marriage is now the yardstick for what is fair or not? He slept with her for 17 years blah blah blah and it is not fair he didn't marry her, why didn't she zip up and stop spreading her legs for him? It was both their choice. And they are freaking adults. The man is taking care of the kids. What else does the world want? Marry her because she bore him kids? Let's be realistic, THEY HAVE SEPARATED. Shikena.

OP: tell the man to call the woman's family and tell them to warn their daughter else he will deal with her ruthlessly. Ur cousin's hubby needs to act. Get an lawyer to get a restraining order and there are phones that blacklists numbers.

Damn, na by force?

Psalm23, me o. I will say your cousin should stay. You know why? The ex actually proved her husband to be right. She has mental problems. Calling someone over 200 times is insane. And dropping calls and all that strange stuff. They were both adults, they both decided and consented to cohabitating and having 4kids. No one should be made to feel forced to hang in a relationship for whatever reason. One party is ready to move on for valid reasons, so I don't see the husband doing any wrong. Many people have kids outside marriage and go on to get married, some even more than 4. It would have been a problem with me if the man was making up stories about his girlfriend, but from your post, it appears he was telling the truth. The solution to this problem lies with her husband. He is already her husband as they have done court wedding. He needs to put his foot down and put this woman in her place. Get a lawyer involved and inform the police of her activities. Since the son is causing problems, let him go and live with his mother. The father should take care of his kids well but not under the same roof as your cousins. They should also move houses and change numbers after the son has left. Should she come and attack them in public, let the guy have her arrested and detained in a mental facility. He has to be very proactive about her mental attacks and he has to be the one repelling shuch nonsense behavior. Your cousin has to be sure he is willing to protect her and fight for her peace and safety. She shouldn't be doing such. Also, he has to talk to his family members to respect his choices, his wife and his new marriage by not giving ear to such rubbish. Any family member that gives audience to his ex girlfriend maligning his wife and marriage should be blocked totally. As long as he is taking care of his responsibility as a father, then I have no problem with him. Everyone has a right to hapiness. Any adult that cohabitates and has children out of wedlock is on their own in my books. You get no sympathy from me if it doesn't work out. Like many relationships, people part and go their separate ways. No one is under any compulsion to stay with you because you allowed a man to waste 17yrs of your life and have 4kids. Abeg! Let your cousin stay with her husband, she is already married to him and in it anyway. She should just sharpen her insult and boxing skills and also grow a tough skin. Then she should make sure she moves house and changes her number. If the father wants to see his kids, they should meet in a neutral place. Until the woman gets mental help, they should deal with the woman and his kids at arms length. She has significant influence on her kids. If she doesn't carry out the evil deeds, she will make them do it. Goodluck to her ojare. Even people have kids, get divorced and move on. Adults should take responsibility for their actions. No one should feel like they have to die with you when you are badly behaved, at the expense of their hapiness and peace. With her behaving like that, I personally will even be more interested in staying with my husband and making sure he gets her mental help. Elemi lo ma last! It is only for a while, everybody will calm down eventually. She go taya! Let your cousin stand gidigba in her marriage. She didn't break anyones's home. She should decide how happy she wants to be, and her husband should be the one making sure she is comfortable and happy. When people see her husband doesn't joke with her, they will be forced to respect their marriage and respect her. He should make sure he documents all her(ex-girlfriend's) activities towards him and let her and her family know that any persistent attacks by her or physical attack is being documented. The day she tries to physically attack him or his wife, he will have her detained in a mental facility. Since her family has let her mental illness become his cross for so many years without doing anything about it. He should let them know he will have her forcefully detained in a mental facility if she continues.shuo!