For the past couple of days, I my wife and my SIL have read all the comments being said in regards to what my SIL posted. First of all, I would like to state categorically here that I did not ask her or anybody to post my family issue online for deliberation. I know she is concerned about her cousin but I know how biased people can be especially Nigerians when it comes to issues like this and it is for this very reason I wanted our problems handled in house. Some of your comments have caused my wife a whole lot of distress but I thank God for the strong woman she is and it is because of this that I have chosen to respond just this once on this issue of my ex to set the story straight.

First of all, I have nothing to gain or loose by lying or making up stories about my ex. I am not that bitter of a man. She is the mother of my children and nothing can change that but whatever we had between us is over. We met in the University, she was tall, light skinned and beautiful. I was a bad boy at UNIBEN and was known to only date the beautiful ones. I cared for her and turned my back on all others. I truly loved her. When she told me she was pregnant, I was excited. Being an only child I was thrilled to know that I was bringing a child into this world and that was when I first asked her to marry me and she said No. Her reason being that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. She asked me for money to abort the pregnancy and I refused and she threatened to go ahead with it anyway when she visits her parents. It took the intervention of my mother and aunts to get her to keep that pregnancy. My mom was living in Lagos at that time so when it was time for the baby to be born, we all headed to Lagos. Few months after the birth, I asked her again to marry me and she again said no. When our son was 7 months old, she said she wanted to go back to Benin to see about her NYSC and visit her parents, I said sure why not. A week later I got a call from my cousins and aunts saying they had seen her in a hotel behind my family home going in and out several times with a particular man. I rushed back to Benin to see for myself and there she was caught red handed with a former course mate of mine. She begged and pleaded and cried, her parents begged, her friends begged, my family said over their dead bodies would they allow me to marry her and bring shame to the family name. For those who know the Edo culture very well, you know what our culture says about a woman who cheats on her man. It is a taboo.

I looked at my baby son and because of him and also the fact that I still cared for her, I forgave her and took her back. She tried her best to make amends for what she did and I truly forgave her. I finshed my service, got a great job immediately and was taking care of my family. She also graduated but refused to do her NYSC and refused to do any kind of work. She claimed I was making enough for our small family so what was the need for her to work. I didn’t complain or say much. When she told me she was pregnant for the second child, I told her I was taking a few of my family members to go for introduction to her family because I needed everything about our union to be legal and most of all, I didn’t want my children called “bastards”. This woman went crazy, screaming and yelling that why did I plan to do an introduction without informing her that I wanted to control her life, I wanted to tie her down, what makes me think this is what she wants, that I haven’t proved to her yet that I am worthy to be her husband. For the rest of that evening and night it was screaming and crying so I told her not to worry, I wasn’t going to go anymore. I called her parents and informed them of what transpired and they were nonchalant about the whole thing and said one day her eyes will clear that she thinks because she is young and beautiful she has all the time in the world. They told me to be patient she will come around. I called her brothers and they were not bothered.

As the years went by, her attitude changed horribly. She became a bitter vindictive woman. I was not supposed to have female friends; I was not supposed to hang out with my friends and co-workers. She picked fights and quarrels with neighbours. I’ve had to go to the police station numerous times to bail her out. I left 2 good jobs and Abuja because of her and because of death threats to her from neighbours she had grievously offended. Overnight this lady switched. What triggered it I don’t know? I wasn’t womanizing, I wasn’t drinking, I was working over 60 hours a week, gave her everything she asked for, bought 3 cars for her which she insulted me over because it wasn’t automatic and according to her, real men buy automatic cars for their women. I tried to set up a boutique for her but she squandered the finances in less than 6 months and the shop closed. She was now content sitting at home, running from place to place to gossip. It was also around this time that she started telling people that she is a SSS because even after 2 kids, she looked like a woman with zero children. I confronted her with this fact and she boldly told me she was single and not tied down to anybody. She told me she was only remaining in the relationship because of the children and she does not love me like before.

By this time, a lot of family on both sides but more from her side had intervened and tried to make peace between us. My family had sort of washed their hands off my case ever since she was caught cheating. Being a Sunday school teacher also, I had the church and some pastors try to talk to her to change her behaviour and even after promises of “I will change and I am sorry” in less than a week, she went right back to her same old behaviour.

Our fighting got worse and she got more violent. The thing is I didn’t know what her problem was. Her demands were becoming so outrageous. I told her we needed to hold back on having more children because where I was working was going through a turbulent phase and people were being laid off. She assured me that she was taking her pills until the day I found packs and packs of pills that she had not been taking, I confronted her and she said they were making her sick so she stopped taking them. She now got pregnant for our 3rd child and this time she started acting really strange crying and begging to have the baby aborted but this time I told her that if she tried it I would personally kill her myself.

We moved to PH and here was where the shit really hit the fan. People ask why I stayed despite all this, and the one answer I give is I stayed for my children. My wife has made me realise that I did more damage to my children by remaining all those years and subjecting them to the violence and things they saw happen between my ex and me. After a while, I hated myself for not being “man enough” to leave. I wondered what was really tying me down there despite all this and I couldn’t picture it. I turned to drinking and womanizing. I would leave the house at 5 am for the office, after work I would go to the bar and stay till 11 or 12. I had girls everywhere; I was seeking for peace in all the wrong places. I got a girl pregnant and my ex found out. Needless to say she made everybody’s life a living hell. She speed dialled this lady over 500 times in an hour, tracked her down to her place of work, fought her and said she will beat the pregnancy out of her. I had to move the girl to another town and moved in with her and told my ex I was through with her. In the 8th month of pregnancy, I got a frantic call that my second child was hit by a bus and was dying I rushed back home and found out that my ex hd made the whole story up to get me to come to the house and on getting there, she hit me with a pestle, tore my clothes and a violent fight started which found us both in the police station with family and friends coming to help. I left the station and went straight to the bar and got blindly drunk. My friends took me back to the house of my ex and whether anybody wants to believe this or not, she took advantage of my drunkenness and forcefully had sex with me. The next day she jeeringly told me “shebi you wan go dey give girls belle, I go give you another pikin make you suffer well well”. I moved out of that house for good and hated her with a passion after this.

My pregnant girlfriend had a still birth under mysterious circumstances a few weeks later and decided she wanted nothing more to do with me because of the drama. I didn’t blame her. I moved in with my family and that was where I was when my wife came into my life.

At a time when I hated women, when I thought I would never have peace and joy, she came and held my hands and said everything will be ok. My ex was living her life in the 4 bedroom house I left her, furnished, food supplied, bills paid etc. She had health insurance; the kids also were insured through my job. She had everything I ever made. She started bringing men into my house having boyfriends etc. I did not stop her. She still looks and has the body of a lady in her mid twenties with no children and she is the same age as my wife.

I have found happiness and I have found peace above all else. I was on a path of self destruction, I loved my kids so much I was willing to overlook any abuse but it is over now. My son mentioned to her that I was married and she went crazy, tracked us to our new house and started acting the fool outside. Police were called but she left before they could get there.

*slaps and pinches face repeatedly*

What won't I read on this forum?

debrief08: So let's say the tables were turned and it was the woman who was in a 17 year abusive relationship.
She stayed all that while because pastors, friends and all intervened regularly.
One day she walks and remarrys and the ex husband starts actiong crazy,will we ask the new husband to leave?
Will we ask why she stayed so long?
Why is it so hard to believe that some women can just be as abusive as men?
Why do we have the notion that a woman must always be the victim?
Just like a woman so if a man holds on to a bad relationship for 17 years must he hold on to death?
Abuse has no gender, victims of abuse have no gender

debrief
Thank you for this. I think it will take a long time for so many people in our society to realize what you have said above. I am going through what the man is going through at the moment and as such I can relate to what has been said about him. In my own case however, I was and still legally married to my wife with three kids. I have also not married a new wife and sincerely I am afraid to even do that.
Some women do use kids to blackmail men once they know the man loves the kids. My wife is very manipulative and has been to my workplace too. I really was staying for the kids and would not mind staying for them because I do believe they need me as much as they need their mum but the verbal abuse and manipulation is making me feel lonely in my marriage and if I can I would give everything i have to be happy for the rest of my life. I now understand well the saying which I had always thought is chauvinistic "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates
People can pontificate here about how some men are monsters and I do agree that many men are monsters. However, some men are going through abusive relationships in this our country.
For me the man deserves happiness however he may find it. For the OP's cousin, I will advise prayer and I believe with this she will overcome. She also has to be practical about this that after 4 kids, the woman would just not disappear like that from her husband's life. A solution may be to have a meeting with the woman and ask her what she wants and see if they could meet the ones that are reasonable.

pslm23: I was a one woman man for years. Was faithful to her and devoted and all i got was grief. You women tend to let emotion rule instead of common sense. All you all could see was that oh he was screwing her for free for 17 years and fathered 4 kids and now he has dumped her for something else. It is not always like that!
My wife has nothing to do with me leaving my ex. My wife accepted me with my 4 kids when no other woman would. My wife encouraged me to let the oldest boy come live with us cos he was complaining that he didn't like the men his mom was bringing to the house. My wife whether you all want to see it is an Angel and that is why i wasted no time in marrying her before someone else took her.
My ex is acting the way she is now because it is who she is. Whether anybody wants to believe it or not, her family don't want to have anything to do with her cos she has shamed them on so many occasions. All they care about are the grand kids. Yes some of my family members still give her ears but it is because she showers them with gifts and lies about me and my wife and they have one or two things against me.
My crime here was that i listened to men of God, listened to family, listened to friends and remained in an abusive volatile situation and caused mental harm to my children who witnessed the violence. The last born is a girl and one day when she and her brothers were playing and goofing around, the boy picked up a knife and was chasing his sister saying "come let me chook you" they thought it was all fun and games but I was beyond upset when I was told. I blame myself for this and that was why i put them in boarding school, to remove them from all that and have some kind of discipline instilled in them. My ex has made it clear that they are all coming to live with me because she wants to be able to find a husband and she can't do it with 4 children by her side

I'm shocked at myself for saying this but have you guys ever thought of arranging for an a 'accident' for your ex

Someone with broken bones can't move and cause trouble for no one . .

I was a one woman man for years. Was faithful to her and devoted and all i got was grief. You women tend to let emotion rule instead of common sense. All you all could see was that oh he was screwing her for free for 17 years and fathered 4 kids and now he has dumped her for something else. It is not always like that!
My wife has nothing to do with me leaving my ex. My wife accepted me with my 4 kids when no other woman would. My wife encouraged me to let the oldest boy come live with us cos he was complaining that he didn't like the men his mom was bringing to the house. My wife whether you all want to see it is an Angel and that is why i wasted no time in marrying her before someone else took her.
My ex is acting the way she is now because it is who she is. Whether anybody wants to believe it or not, her family don't want to have anything to do with her cos she has shamed them on so many occasions. All they care about are the grand kids. Yes some of my family members still give her ears but it is because she showers them with gifts and lies about me and my wife and they have one or two things against me.
My crime here was that i listened to men of God, listened to family, listened to friends and remained in an abusive volatile situation and caused mental harm to my children who witnessed the violence. The last born is a girl and one day when she and her brothers were playing and goofing around, the boy picked up a knife and was chasing his sister saying "come let me chook you" they thought it was all fun and games but I was beyond upset when I was told. I blame myself for this and that was why i put them in boarding school, to remove them from all that and have some kind of discipline instilled in them. My ex has made it clear that they are all coming to live with me because she wants to be able to find a husband and she can't do it with 4 children by her side

pslm23:

I first asked her to marry me and she said [size=14pt]No[/size]. Her reason being that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. She asked me for money to abort the pregnancy and I refused and she threatened to go ahead with it anyway when she visits her parents. It took the intervention of my mother and aunts to get her to keep that pregnancy.

.... but the girl said she no won do . . . you're the architect of your miserable marital life. Don't play the victim here. Be a man and suck it up!

you threatened her to keep the first baby . . EVERYTHING is on you. Don't blame no pastor or family. You're just very lucky to have a second chance at happiness.

This is all i have to say. I only did this for the sake of my wife. I pray my ex gets off her lazy behind and at least learn how to work a computer so she can come here and refute all i've said. but for now, i am done explaining myself. I am a happy man and I will protect this woman God has blessed me with with all my life. Two miscarriages because she won't stop stressing. I made her come down to Nigeria and I blame myself. I have told her to return back to Austria or the US and i will wrap up things here, make provision for my kids and come and join her but as stubborn as she is, she has refused.

I hope men learn a lesson from my experience. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to survive. I needed to be alive to raise my children and see my grandchildren. My ex would have made that extremely impossible.

pslm23: This is all i have to say. I only did this for the sake of my wife. I pray my ex gets off her lazy behind and at least learn how to work a computer so she can come here and refute all i've said. but for now, i am done explaining myself. I am a happy man and I will protect this woman God has blessed me with with all my life. Two miscarriages because she won't stop stressing. I made her come down to Nigeria and I blame myself. I have told her to return back to Austria or the US and i will wrap up things here, make provision for my kids and come and join her but as stubborn as she is, she has refused.

I hope men learn a lesson from my experience. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to survive. I needed to be alive to raise my children and see my grandchildren. My ex would have made that extremely impossible.

You are better off taking all your children then if she promises to leave you alone, in her search for her husband. Them being raised with such a woman, is like leaving the sword that will kill you in the hands of a sword sharpener. Or playing Russian roulette with your life. You always have to speak with one voice with your wife and stand by her if they ever come to live with you. You are a man with a lot of baggage, so you have to do all you can to make that baggage less trouble for her. Let everyone know their level and limit when it comes to your wife. And be open with them always about their mum and why the relationship did not work out. Sit them down and tell them this story. So at least, they understand and know the circumstances surrounding your decision. They will also respect it more. Keep out the forced and manipulated circumstances of their births though.

BABE!:


.... but the girl said she no won do . . . you're the architect of your miserable marital life. Don't play the victim here. Be a man and suck it up!

you threatened her to keep the first baby . . EVERYTHING is on you. Don't blame no pastor or family. You're just very lucky to have a second chance at happiness.

Don't mind him. He is here telling us silly stories. Abeg go and sit down my friend

Since you want to move on with your life peacefully, oga move to Austria with your wife. With your work experience, getting a job will not be hard. Your ex is not happy, neither will you or anyone (including your children).
May you all find peace.

Cock & bull story! Abeg go and sit down jor.
Do u want pple to pity you?
When she said she no do, why did u continue to stay with her?
You were drunk and she took an advantage to have s3x wit u!
Oga or whoever typed ds story shld go and sit in a corner and hide his or her face in shame cos this is just too childish

See wahala!

nikkykay: Cock & bull story! Abeg go and sit down jor.
Do u want pple to pity you?
When she said she no do, why did u continue to stay with her?
You were drunk and she took an advantage to have s3x wit u!
Oga or whoever typed ds story shld go and sit in a corner and hide his or her face in shame cos this is just too childish

A sorry excuse for a man. At his age, tufiakwaaaaa

^^^^
Abi oo my sister.
Looking for self pity

The cyberland called NL... wetin man go do..

Na wa oh.thats all I can say.

WOW!!!!!! Nairaland women nothing we no go see . so in all this, all you people saw was cock and bull story. na wah for una ohhhh, una for kuku tell the man to lie down for main road make trailer jam am to satisfy una. from today i fear una and give una big hand. Op's coz husband like i said before do what you must do, to enjoy your life. you see that even as you told your story here, the women called it bull, so my friend bone everybody and go for your happiness, since you made the mistake before, don't make it again. tell your madam to be strong and forget what these aproko women are saying here as far as she has a clean mind and didn't snatch you from anybody then let her enjoy and be a good wife to you. its your shoe and you know where it pinches.
Nairaland ladies i hail una ohh!!!!!!, una too much. hehahahahahahahhehehehehe.

unfollows this NONSENSE.... wat a man.

oju olorun to ohun ti o pamo[God is the knower of all hidden secrets]. May He in His infinite mercies grant you,your wife,children and ex-wife peace&happiness.She will move on with time and i pray God grant her a good husband just as He has granted you a good wife.

@Mr Lover man, sorry i have some question for you, you said your ex is the same age with your recent wife, and her first son with you is 16, you said she already graduated before getting preggy (cos u said she went to benin to work out her nysc when the baby was 7months), does it mean she was around 21 when you impregnated her?

My peple I see lies, pure one. So then that school go on strike for one full year, resume and go on another two years strike was when your ex graduated at 21? Haba, haba, haba, what now. Then you impregnated another woman who at 8 month had still birth, is 8month pregnancy birth still birth? Pls may be am wrong, somebody help me.

Your wife already had two miscarriages, the other relationship you have suffered a still birth, if your 17years relationship was a bad one caused by your ex, do you think you would face all that?

As a bible study teacher, you think you are doing it right according to the will of God?

If all you said is true, then you deserve what you got from her cos you went after beauty not character, that is if all you said about her is true.

Am sorry, you need God, else I tell you you may not end well. Ehen, let's I forgot, in your 17 years of work, have buld your own house? Or the woman is also ill lock to you?

I think you should rather seek the face of God than what you are getting here, cos He knows it all, including your frailty.

You guys aready made up your mind on what to do, why posting here for candid advise?

Pls, no matter what, take good care of your children, don't leave then, I beg you, so many children suffer cos of break up/divorce, pls n pls, look after them, give them your love, education, I beg you. It is well with you.

Wow,dnt even know what to say,I really feel for d man,marriage is nt bondage,u made mistakes yes....who doesn't?we r all guilty,pls 4get abt d judgmental ones,take kia of ur kids,love and protect ur wife,I believe ur story ,it is well with u,it is well with ur wife,may u find the peace u earnestly seek.God bless u.

Awwwww!! It is sooooo nice to see women standing up for one another, it almost wants to make me cry....Oh eff this, I am crying right here. This is soooooo nice to see this all for one moves...too bad it's for the wrong reasons.

As I stated earlier, personally I woulda jetted outta there before you can say Here comes the Bride...because I have very little patience for marriage drama, especially when it is not my own making, life is too short to be walking on eggshells. I don't believe suffering in marriage will make it sweeter or better or whatever and this is the reason I will be outta there so fast, y'all won't see my tail light. Yes, in this case...it will be all about ME! ME! ME!!!

If however I am supposed to put someone else's feelings in the equation, trust me the last person it will be is the WOMAN...I don't care if she has 100 babies for him and she's been there for 1000 years. My fellow women are taking up are cause solely on the fact that he didn't marry her after 17 years and 4 children, ladies...ladies...ladies please do you really think if she wanted to marry him, they won't be at the alter before he knew what hit him? In this our Nigeria? The same country young men are opening thread frightened out of their skulls because people are pressuring them to marry their baby mama? Come now!!!

I know I'll be caned for it but let's be honest...we all know when it comes to marriage after pregnancy, the woman almost always holds the cards. Very few men can withstand the pressure mounted on them from every angle by putting their foot down and saying NO, I AIN'T GETTING MARRIED. More often than not, as long as the woman shows interest in getting married....the man has little or no choice.

As much as I love the collective Rah! Rah! Rah! we are women hear us roar happening on this thread, In my opinion...it is wasted because the woman is NOT a victim. Hell no!

^^ Finally a real woman. @sisi, you too much jare.

Daily we advise that people shouldn't stay in bad relationships for the sake of the kids.
He stayed and decided to walk when it was getting suicidal and he clearly saw it wasn't helping the kids.
So it there a different set of rules for men in abusive relationships and for women?
If a woman came and reported half of what he said we will congratulate her for having the courage to leave.
Why is it different because he is a man?
Anyway, Poeter, good choice, wish you the best.
No one man and woman deserves an abusive relationship.
Everyone deserves some level of peace and happiness.

Nairaland needs to have a dislike button, 'cause you have just written utter and total crap! Ti start with, I graduated from a Nigerian University @ 21! Yes with all the strike and all, and I wasn't an accelerated bloomer either went through 6-3-3-4.

You obviously only see the world from your myopic view, is it by force? Someone is unhappy in his marriage, feels he deserves happiness and takes a shot at it! Or you expect him to sit on his sorry ass like you would have licking old wounds!

Your analysis shows your lack of knowledge and worse still a failure to shut up! Mr or Mrs pregnancy calculator; who told you all pregnancy must last 9 months!

You should be banned from Nairaland and sent back to JSS1.

yes, I am pissed as I hate balant demostration of ignorance. Phew!!!

caropy: @Mr Lover man, sorry i have some question for you, you said your ex is the same age with your recent wife, and her first son with you is 16, you said she already graduated before getting preggy (cos u said she went to benin to work out her nysc when the baby was 7months), does it mean she was around 21 when you impregnated her?

My peple I see lies, pure one. So then that school go on strike for one full year, resume and go on another two years strike was when your ex graduated at 21? Haba, haba, haba, what now. Then you impregnated another woman who at 8 month had still birth, is 8month pregnancy birth still birth? Pls may be am wrong, somebody help me.

Your wife already had two miscarriages, the other relationship you have suffered a still birth, if your 17years relationship was a bad one caused by your ex, do you think you would face all that?

As a bible study teacher, you think you are doing it right according to the will of God?

If all you said is true, then you deserve what you got from her cos you went after beauty not character, that is if all you said about her is true.

Am sorry, you need God, else I tell you you may not end well. Ehen, let's I forgot, in your 17 years of work, have buld your own house? Or the woman is also ill lock to you?

I think you should rather seek the face of God than what you are getting here, cos He knows it all, including your frailty.

You guys aready made up your mind on what to do, why posting here for candid advise?

Pls, no matter what, take good care of your children, don't leave then, I beg you, so many children suffer cos of break up/divorce, pls n pls, look after them, give them your love, education, I beg you. It is well with you.

Nairaland needs to have a dislike button, 'cause you have just written utter and total crap! Ti start with, I graduated from a Nigerian University @ 21! Yes with all the strike and all, and I wasn't an accelerated bloomer either went through 6-3-3-4.

You obviously only see the world from your myopic view, is it by force? Someone is unhappy in his marriage, feels he deserves happiness and takes a shot at it! Or you expect him to sit on his sorry ass like you would have licking old wounds!

Your analysis shows your lack of knowledge and worse still a failure to shut up! Mr or Mrs pregnancy calculator; who told you all pregnancy must last 9 months!

You should be banned from Nairaland and sent back to JSS1.

yes, I am pissed as I hate balant demostration of ignorance. Phew!!!

caropy: @Mr Lover man, sorry i have some question for you, you said your ex is the same age with your recent wife, and her first son with you is 16, you said she already graduated before getting preggy (cos u said she went to benin to work out her nysc when the baby was 7months), does it mean she was around 21 when you impregnated her?

My peple I see lies, pure one. So then that school go on strike for one full year, resume and go on another two years strike was when your ex graduated at 21? Haba, haba, haba, what now. Then you impregnated another woman who at 8 month had still birth, is 8month pregnancy birth still birth? Pls may be am wrong, somebody help me.

Your wife already had two miscarriages, the other relationship you have suffered a still birth, if your 17years relationship was a bad one caused by your ex, do you think you would face all that?

As a bible study teacher, you think you are doing it right according to the will of God?

If all you said is true, then you deserve what you got from her cos you went after beauty not character, that is if all you said about her is true.

Am sorry, you need God, else I tell you you may not end well. Ehen, let's I forgot, in your 17 years of work, have buld your own house? Or the woman is also ill lock to you?

I think you should rather seek the face of God than what you are getting here, cos He knows it all, including your frailty.

You guys aready made up your mind on what to do, why posting here for candid advise?

Pls, no matter what, take good care of your children, don't leave then, I beg you, so many children suffer cos of break up/divorce, pls n pls, look after them, give them your love, education, I beg you. It is well with you.

This is to all the women who have continued to bandy up in condemnation of the man, even after he has just related the sad and pathetic story of his life... To these women, I say, please, shut up! (no disrespect)

Yes, I am a woman too, but I will not support the hateful cause of another woman, just cause she is same sex with me. And to those saying it's a cock and bull story, truth is I've seen worse, yes, worse behavior/character... from my own mother!

tsmith: Nairaland needs to have a dislike button, 'cause you have just written utter and total crap! Ti start with, I graduated from a Nigerian University @ 21! Yes with all the strike and all, and I wasn't an accelerated bloomer either went through 6-3-3-4.

You obviously only see the world from your myopic view, is it by force? Someone is unhappy in his marriage, feels he deserves happiness and takes a shot at it! Or you expect him to sit on his sorry ass like you would have licking old wounds!

Your analysis shows your lack of knowledge and worse still a failure to shut up! Mr or Mrs pregnancy calculator; who told you all pregnancy must last 9 months!

You should be banned from Nairaland and sent back to JSS1.

yes, I am pissed as I hate balant demostration of ignorance. Phew!!!

Hey, did you read my post well before you start posting from your short memory input? When did you graduated from a nigerian uni @ age 21? For you information I don't need to tell you at work age I graduated, but younger than your age in this time not then.

Tell me you graduated 17 years ago when uni student stay at home for strike for almost a year and more, and of all schools uni ben was known for recurrent strike then, even if I was young then but we know of it cos of uncles who attended there, so before you take up the job of an advocate, think well and make google your teacher before posting from your short memory.

Let the post come and defend not you.

You tell me you graduated @ that age then and I tell you are a liar.

You need to be taken to primary school to learn about history.

Uni ben of all, pls think and ask questions before posting next time. How can you make your judgement from what a single party is posting? Pls clear.

Each pregancy is not nine month abi? When he said his other woman lover had still birth @ 8months, did you 'phew' @ it? Yet u said not each pregnancy get to nine months? You are bewitched by ignorance and lack of investigation, this same issue will resurface with different handle in the next two years, n pips like you will in turn rain abuses on the woman for not thinking right.

If the poster had one time posted how she wanted to marry her own man then, pips like you will tell her to go ahead and when she return, na to begin to patch her up.

The truth is bitter.

[quote author=caropy][/quote]

Caropy what is your problem with me if i might ask? DO i know you from somewhere? What part of "this case has nothing to do with my life or my past" don't you get? You are free to insult my cousin and her husband and say whatever you want, it is a free world but please, I'm begging you, stop mentioning my case. it has absolutely no correlation with this issue except for the fact that i am related to the lady whom i "aproko'd" and posted on her behalf. The same way you feel that it is within your right to condemn and call my in law's version of the story poo and whatever else is the same way others feel entitled to speak their mind however they choose. Live and let live is a saying you might wanna adopt!

The question that was initially asked at the beginning of this thread was what should she do within the confines of the law to stop the verbal insults and harassment. We have established one thing so far, she isn't changing her cell phone number and she won't "run away" for something she did not do or cause.

Like my late mom used to say, "if you have nothing nice to say about someone, anyone, maybe you shouldn't say anything at all". You don't know me from Adam, you don't my trials and tribulations. All you know is what I chose to spill on this site about myself. A few people here know me outside of this place and i like it like that.
If my in law lied or told the truth you are in no position to know unless you know the players in this case and are aquainted with the story from start to finish. Caropy back off with your insinuations and detective know it all attitude. We get it, you are a strong woman who cannot sit back and watch another woman whether good or bad be put in the spotlight. Women's lib at work here. I have no problem with that but make your point and cut out the insults of people you do not know

pslm23:

Caropy what is your problem with me if i might ask? DO i know you from somewhere? What part of "this case has nothing to do with my life or my past" don't you get? You are free to insult my cousin and her husband and say whatever you want, it is a free world but please, I'm begging you, stop mentioning my case. it has absolutely no correlation with this issue except for the fact that i am related to the lady whom i "aproko'd" and posted on her behalf. The same way you feel that it is within your right to condemn and call my in law's version of the story poo and whatever else is the same way others feel entitled to speak their mind however they choose. Live and let live is a saying you might wanna adopt!

The question that was initially asked at the beginning of this thread was what should she do within the confines of the law to stop the verbal insults and harassment. We have established one thing so far, she isn't changing her cell phone number and she won't "run away" for something she did not do or cause.

Madam let ur coz ride on wit "her husband"
Infact let her not change her #!
Let her accommodate d 4kids under her roof all in d name dat stubborness runs in d blood
I knw edo women no b 2day!
D truth is always bitter okay
I wish all d best in her marriage
For us dat r against ds rhip na love we love ur coz not dat man
For those that support na love! All join
PS: if dre is marital issue in dat family , mayb dre is need 4 deliverance
Just my 2cents

Mr husband, you are the architect of your own problem. Surely you can't be that nice a husband and your ex woman that vindictive a woman because you got someone else pregnant. That woman is not crazy, mr I want peace husband threatening to kill a pregnant woman.

You are not man enough to handle your issues instead obviously you run away from them.

You should have had the decency to let the mother of your children know that you are married regardless.

If you can 100% say Amen to a random boy treating your daughter the way you treated her mother then it is alright.

Listen, life is what you make it. No one can force you to do anything you don't want to do but please forget the whole painting the mother of your children bad and be man enough to say I found love or whatever somewhere else.