^^ and when do you start printing without paragraphs ?

jidegirl12: ^^ and when do you start printing without paragraphs ?

Pele jare, omo iya. The issue taya me o jare. That ex girlfriend is clearly totally batsh*it crazy. The man deserves to be happy men. 17yrs with such a character no be moin moin. Since Pslm23's cousin decided to go ahead with a court wedding with such full disclosure, then she has to fight for her marriage and make sure the husband grows a spine and makes boundaries clear. The guy is probably totally terrified of the woman, if he doesn't stand up and surprise her with courage and be a man for once. She will run wild on his hapiness. Pslm23, if na me be your cousin, omo na fight to the death o. Royal rumble. Even mad person get senior.

Chei omo you don kolo oh.... on top wetin? Anyways I've decided not to share my opinion

How are you? Missed you

Missed you too love. I know I have been scant around here. Just been busy.

On top my marriage o. Threatened by such forces will never work with me. It will even make me more determined to make it work and protect my hapiness and that includes my husband's hapiness. Such people may not even be insane, but manipulative and abusive cowards. All they need is someone stronger than them and they will cower. They feed on weakness and fear.

^^ I get it love.

Okay oh Root

@ poster, its so funny how we support evil because its on our doorstep. A lot of our parents didnt do court or traditional wedding in the past Yet they were regarded as married. Your cousin is trying to snatch another woman's husband. There are two Sides to a coin. The man can not claim to be a saint in the whole 17yrs and am certain in anoda 3yrs ur cousin too might be exhibiting the same madness That woman is exhibiting and the man will go after anoda woman. Even in a law court, divorce is done after all the party have given their consent. Your cousin shld go look for her own husband and leave the woman and her man alone to sort out their issues. There is no crazy woman anywhere o.

I think you have nailed the mata on the head

When the next NL issue pops up I hope people can be considerate and less judgemental of the original post

Husband snatching Does not come cleaner than this.

If anyone thinks the woman is only crazy and harassment is all she can do
Be notified, this is afrika and people still go diabolical

Hot epe from anywhere will jam d persin wheda austria or australasia

Even bible talk say be fair to the woman of your youth
You don use all the bwest, expand the puna finish, chop all the food wey she make and now you wan dump am


OP an option is polygamy.

yellowpawpaw:
Psalm23,what do u really want? U want pple to tell u means to get rid of d first wife?congratulate d man that he has found peace and lv finally? Praise ur sis for gettin married? I ask again,what do u want?
I found out that pple here lv u so much from d way they address u, (reason I don't know)so they r giving u various forms of advice from their heart.forget d tone, that's why we r all diff.u sought for advice,pple gave that to u and u r not happy.maybe u wouldn't hv started this if u know it will go against ur cous and d husband!
Now concernin ur cous,nobody hates her,she deserves happiness but pple r tellin her she got it all wrong.believe me u some hv passed tru dis kind of union and don't wish it on anybody.some hv witnesd it.either way,they r just tellin her d truth.
If u people feel that this is d only way she can be happy,like I said in my first post,I wish her luck cos she might need it.
I rest my case.

adl: @ poster, its so funny how we support evil because its on our doorstep. A lot of our parents didnt do court or traditional wedding in the past Yet they were regarded as married. Your cousin is trying to snatch another woman's husband. There are two Sides to a coin. The man can not claim to be a saint in the whole 17yrs and am certain in anoda 3yrs ur cousin too might be exhibiting the same madness That woman is exhibiting and the man will go after anoda woman. Even in a law court, divorce is done after all the party have given their consent. Your cousin shld go look for her own husband and leave the woman and her man alone to sort out their issues. There is no crazy woman anywhere o.

adl: @ poster, its so funny how we support evil because its on our doorstep. A lot of our parents didnt do court or traditional wedding in the past Yet they were regarded as married. Your cousin is trying to snatch another woman's husband. There are two Sides to a coin. The man can not claim to be a saint in the whole 17yrs and am certain in anoda 3yrs ur cousin too might be exhibiting the same madness That woman is exhibiting and the man will go after anoda woman. Even in a law court, divorce is done after all the party have given their consent. Your cousin shld go look for her own husband and leave the woman and her man alone to sort out their issues. There is no crazy woman anywhere o.

To be quite honest, I disagree with the snatching man part. A man that does not want to be snatched will not be snatched. If he is being "snatched" now it's because he wants to be snatched.

When and how did this man and the mother of his children separate?how long have the cousin known this man?
OP said her cousin and man already had court marriage, when was that done?
Did the man put away/chase out/leave the other woman just so he will be "free" to marry his new love?

If this separation was after the cousin came into the picture, the woman has every right to go crazy !

Btw, they said the woman is jobless, was she put away with something to keep her going? Have they(cousin) made any effort to listen to this woman, know what she wants?

Somebody here asked a very important question, if the role was reversed and the man was behaving in this irrational way, would you women still support her. to keep staying in the (union) even after 4 kids and 17years. Hmmmmm. Smh nairaland women, always speaking from both sides of their mouth. In whatever situation, the man is always wrong, its always his fault when his woman behaves in a certain way. But never the woman's fault when the man behaves badly either its most def the man's fault. Men take it from me, you do ur damned, you don't do your equally damned, so just do what makes you happy, since you'll still be blamed at the end of the day. Op's cuz husband, do what you must jare go for your happiness, put your foot down jare.

jennykadry:

To be quite honest, I disagree with the snatching man part. A man that does not want to be snatched will not be snatched. If he is being "snatched" now it's because he wants to be snatched.

I have said it before and I will say it again . . . the man is SCUM (I hope he is reading this )

F000lish man . . . chopped and cleaned mouth for 17 years and thinks he can just walk like it's no big deal

I blame the women who let him get away with such nonsense . . . he chopped free for 17 years . . 17 years!

The olodo (sorry Psalm) nko who married him knowing fully well she was buying trouble from Alaba market . .. all to answer Mrs.

We women are the cause of our own wahala . . letting men get away with such crap . . shame shame shame!

Afamdman: Somebody here asked a very important question, if the role was reversed and the man was behaving in this irrational way, would you women still support her. to keep staying in the (union) even after 4 kids and 17years. Hmmmmm. Smh nairaland women, always speaking from both sides of their mouth. In whatever situation, the man is always wrong, its always his fault when his woman behaves in a certain way. But never the woman's fault when the man behaves badly either its most def the man's fault. Men take it from me, you do ur damned, you don't do your equally damned, so just do what makes you happy, since you'll still be blamed at the end of the day. Op's cuz husband, do what you must jare go for your happiness, put your foot down jare.

Please don't turn this into a man/woman war . . . this is about an adult refusing to grow up and make the right choices.

Men like that disgust me . . .

People should learn to always do the right thing.

If you get a woman pregnant, then do the right thing and marry her. . . if you don't want to, then take a walk . . don't stay with her for 17 years and have 3 more kids and suddenly realize she's not 'the one'!

Nobody here is talking of the psychological trauma the woman must have gone through those past 17 years . . . certainly enough to drive her crazy.

When you build your world around a man and discover you are nothing more than a baby making machine to him . . . don't even mean enough to get his name . . . it can destroy a person's spirit.

I bet the man kept giving her hopes to marry her after the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, maybe even 4th child!

Shameless man!

True that he did not do the rites for 17 years
But are you saying that is the key difference
To me i see no difference

They have lived together as man and wife and referred to as such by family, friends, church

Doing one trad shd not change that

Ujujoan:

I have said it before and I will say it again . . . the man is SCUM (I hope he is reading this )

F000lish man . . . chopped and cleaned mouth for 17 years and thinks he can just walk like it's no big deal

I blame the women who let him get away with such nonsense . . . he chopped free for 17 years . . 17 years!

The olodo (sorry Psalm) nko who married him knowing fully well she was buying trouble from Alaba market . .. all to answer Mrs.

We women are the cause of our own wahala . . letting men get away with such crap . . shame shame shame!

biolabee:
True that he did not do the rites for 17 years
But are you saying that is the key difference
To me i see no difference

They have lived together as man and wife and referred to as such by family, friends, church

Doing one trad shd not change that

Some things may not be life-threateningly necessary, but these laws/rules exist for a reason. Any responsible adult should do things the right way .. . simple!

I see a huge difference here. If they were married and things didn't work out, believe me the ex will not be an issue. But she obviously sees herself as being used and dumped. For 17 years he didn't think she was good enough to marry, but good enough to bang and impregnate . . and then after a few years, he's walking down the aisle with some other woman

Who wouldn't lose it abeg?

I agree it is good to do things the proper way and this was missed by both the man and woman
The woman will even suffer more
But on principle she has been treated badly either way

Ujujoan:

Some things may not be life-threateningly necessary, but these laws/rules exist for a reason. Any responsible adult should do things the right way .. . simple!

I see a huge difference here. If they were married and things didn't work out, believe me the ex will not be an issue. But she obviously sees herself as being used and dumped. For 17 years he didn't think she was good enough to marry, but good enough to bang and impregnate . . and then after a few years, he's walking down the aisle with some other woman

Who wouldn't lose it abeg?

Ujujoan:

I have said it before and I will say it again . . . the man is SCUM (I hope he is reading this )

F000lish man . . . chopped and cleaned mouth for 17 years and thinks he can just walk like it's no big deal

I blame the women who let him get away with such nonsense . . . he chopped free for 17 years . . 17 years!

The olodo (sorry Psalm) nko who married him knowing fully well she was buying trouble from Alaba market . .. all to answer Mrs.

We women are the cause of our own wahala . . letting men get away with such crap . . shame shame shame!

Stop attacking this man.They both chopped themselves for 17 years. Woman no work, just dey spread leg, dey born, dey live large because im be baby mama come dey expect marriage as her birthright. And please spare me the craps that men get away with that women don't.

You are turning it into a man/woman war. Have you stopped to think that with both their behaviors, they would not have divorced by now if they had married? The OP said they separated. Why is the ex now trying to ku sibe(die there)? Is she related to Mario?

Fair enough but I will ask a q
If the ex in q was your big sister
What will you advise

blaise26.abj:


Stop attacking this man.They both chopped themselves for 17 years. Woman no work, just dey spread leg, dey born, dey live large because im be baby mama come dey expect marriage as her birthright. And please spare me the craps that men get away with that women don't.

You are turning it into a man/woman war. Have you stopped to think that with both their behaviors, they would not have divorced by now if they had married? The OP said they separated. Why is the ex now trying to ku sibe(die there)? Is she related to Mario?

Where I come from,even if you co habit for 50years and have 40 children,you are not married.

Na this kolo character make the man no marry am for 17 years. Same madness which makes some men regret marrying their wives in the first place.

The man has every right to seek happiness abeg. Having children or even bearing Mrs somebody doesn't make him your emotional prisoner for life.

blaise26.abj:


Stop attacking this man.They both chopped themselves for 17 years. Woman no work, just dey spread leg, dey born, dey live large because im be baby mama come dey expect marriage as her birthright. And please spare me the craps that men get away with that women don't?

You are turning it into a man/woman war. Have you stopped to think that with both their behaviors, they would not have divorced by now if they had married? The OP said, they separated. Why is the ex now trying to ku sibe(die there)? Is she related to Mario?

How is she any different from over 50% of Nigerian women

I can assure you that the man kept promising to marry her . . . you know how men are. Next year becomes next year and so on and so forth . . .

blaise26.abj:


Stop attacking this man.They both chopped themselves for 17 years. Woman no work, just dey spread leg, dey born, dey live large because im be baby mama come dey expect marriage as her birthright. And please spare me the craps that men get away with that women don't.

You are turning it into a man/woman war. Have you stopped to think that with both their behaviors, they would not have divorced by now if they had married? The OP said they separated. Why is the ex now trying to ku sibe(die there)? Is she related to Mario?

She didnt work and was living on her husband's expenses! Did the man complain? did e make any plan to set her up?
My own point is why waited 17yrs before he realised it couldnt work?
Why after 4grown up kids? That man is sowing what he will regret later.
Those kids will forever support dir mum and he may eventually lose them after he has trained them

biolabee: Fair enough but I will ask a q
If the ex in q was your big sister
What will you advise

Your question brings abt what i really felt was missing. Their families especially the ex messed up seriously. Well, if she were my big/small sister, i wld have told her my mind after the first child. If he is not ready to marry, free him. If she refuses to listen, i'ld call a family meeting to resolve it. If she doesn't still listen,i will leave her to her destiny on the issue.

I'm sure their families don tire sef

What the hell is all this rubbish about 'chop and clean mouth' and 'after 17 years'?

Is bearing 'Mrs' payment for being a fvck buddy or what? Are you saying she wasn't enjoying the fvcking herself or why do y'all keep making it sound like the woman did him a favour by spreading her legs for him?

As far as I'm concerned, they were married in practice even if not in name. However, that union has now ended. The woman with 4 kids has no right to insist that the man never re-marry. None whatsoever.

As long as the man is bearing his responsibilities towards the 4 children, the ex-wife has zero say. Even if she is bitter, she has no decision rights on whether the man marries someone else or not.

Yes he was spineless, indecisive, weak, etc. Regardless of the extent to which he messed up for 17 years, he still has the right to make a new start.

Your cousin needs to gird her loins for a long fight - she will prevail if she and her husband are united and focused. Regardless of the past drama - so long as they've started this union in good faith as you've said, they have every chance of success.

The man at his age (and considering his kids) cannot and should not relocate abroad at this point - the kids need him around to prevent the unstable mother from doing them harm.

I know the default position of many is to be judgmental, but save it for where it's relevant. Marriage is not a life-sentence, at least not under the law. If a man/woman chooses to move on with his/her life, so be it.

blaise26.abj:


Your question brings abt what i really felt was missing. Their families especially the ex messed up seriously. Well, if she were my big/small sister, i wld have told her my mind after the first child. If he is not ready to marry, free him. If she refuses to listen, i'ld call a family meeting to resolve it. If she doesn't still listen,i will leave her to her destiny on the issue.

I'm sure their families don tire sef

True,,, but that means there would be a child raised by a single mother
She will not be able to marry again and the subsequent burden of the single mother
No wahala


On another note, i like the posts of the females so far
if this is the result of feminism and empowerment and women can calmly move on if a relationship does not work out whether legally married or not
it means there is hope

Ujujoan:

How is she any different from over 50% of Nigerian women

I can assure you that the man kept promising to marry her . . . you know how men are. Next year becomes next year and so on and so forth . . .

I don't know how u got 50% but If someone keeps promising you money for 2-3 years won't you know that you are placed on top scale? Y didn't she use her head? If she was "madly in love" why didn't her family talk sense into her and the guy?

Yes we all know how men are yadayadayada (rolls eyez), but should dat make a woman lose her sense of reason and proportion?

nikkykay:
She didnt work and was living on her husband's expenses! Did the man complain? did e make any plan to set her up?
My own point is why waited 17yrs before he realised it couldnt work?
Why after 4grown up kids? That man is sowing what he will regret later.
Those kids will forever support dir mum and he may eventually lose them after he has trained them

point of correction, they never married. So he was not under any obligation to make any plan for her lazy bottom.

Why did the ex and her family wait for 17 years? why did she allow him to keep impregnating her? she was sowing what she is definitely regretting already.

My point is they separated which in this case is akin to divorce. So why the sudden drama? No need to point accusing fingers. If they didn't separate and he just went ahead to marry someone else, then the accusing finger can point to the man. simple

debosky: What the hell is all this rubbish about 'chop and clean mouth' and 'after 17 years'?

Is bearing 'Mrs' payment for being a fvck buddy or what? Are you saying she wasn't enjoying the fvcking herself or why do y'all keep making it sound like the woman did him a favour by spreading her legs for him?

As far as I'm concerned, they were married in practice even if not in name. However, that union has now ended. The woman with 4 kids has no right to insist that the man never re-marry. None whatsoever.

As long as the man is bearing his responsibilities towards the 4 children, the ex-wife has zero say. Even if she is bitter, she has no decision rights on whether the man marries someone else or not.

Yes he was spineless, indecisive, weak, etc. Regardless of the extent to which he messed up for 17 years, he still has the right to make a new start.

Your cousin needs to gird her loins for a long fight - she will prevail if she and her husband are united and focused. Regardless of the past drama - so long as they've started this union in good faith as you've said, they have every chance of success.

The man at his age (and considering his kids) cannot and should not relocate abroad at this point - the kids need him around to prevent the unstable mother from doing them harm.

I know the default position of many is to be judgmental, but save it for where it's relevant. Marriage is not a life-sentence, at least not under the law. If a man/woman chooses to move on with his/her life, so be it.

The poster didnt mention anywhere dat she had tried to harm her kids in d past! So i dnt think she can harm them now even if the man shld go away. Those kids will be bitter now and dey may not need their father's presence again after leaving their mum for another woman.
And all of us just listened to the poster's story! This woman may not be as bad as she has been painted.
And how are se sure both of them are going to have long lasting peace and happiness

biolabee:

True,,, but that means there would be a child raised by a single mother
She will not be able to marry again and the subsequent burden of the single mother
No wahala


On another note, i like the posts of the females so far
if this is the result of feminism and empowerment and women can calmly move on if a relationship does not work out whether legally married or not
it means there is hope

Says who? Single mums do get married. If women truly want to be empowered, they should start thinking like men and not like chickens. Some women already do think like men and it shows.

blaise26.abj:


point of correction, they never married. So he was not under any obligation to make any plan for her lazy bottom.

Why did the ex and her family wait for 17 years? why did she allow him to keep impregnating her? she was sowing what she is definitely regretting already.

My point is they separated which in this case is akin to divorce. So why the sudden drama? No need to point accusing fingers. If they didn't separate and he just went ahead to marry someone else, then the accusing finger can point to the man. simple

Do we know how many times they separated in within those 17yrs? She might think it was one of those separations and they wuld still come back 2gether but it was another story entirely.
They were never married but were in a relationship. The man didnt want more children but he refused to protect himself.
They had space in btw those kids means they woman was on family planning pills to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
Lets b real here. If the man culdnt b weak for 17yrs. Am sure he knew what he was doing. He cant say he had not dated or seen any responsible girl during the time he was with the woman. Y didnt he back out?
Hw are we sure they were separated when he told teh coz he was? Why waited till d coz came home to tell her he was separated so dey culd start dating? Since dey were communicating on regular bases, why didnt he tell her on d fone be4 she came home?
The man just cooked up story dat the coz wuld love to hear just to marry her.
Or do we say God just brot his bone & flesh after 17yrs of being in bondage

I agree fully
If they want to accept the tenets of feminism the should. The whole hog

You say you are equal to a man andmarriage is not do or die; yet you sit down and want a man to feed and clothe you saying you are a house wife or etc bla bla bla


But on this one the man no try

blaise26.abj:


Says who? Single mums do get married. If women truly want to be empowered, they should start thinking like men and not like chickens. Some women already do think like men and it shows.

nikkykay:
The poster didnt mention anywhere dat she had tried to harm her kids in d past! So i dnt think she can harm them now even if the man shld go away.

Those kids will be bitter now and dey may not need their father's presence again after leaving their mum for another woman.

The woman is unstable - if the man goes away she might decide to harm the kids as the ultimate revenge against the man.

Besides, kids will always need their father's presence regardless of whether their parents are together or not.

And all of us just listened to the poster's story! This woman may not be as bad as she has been painted.

It doesn't really matter if she's 'not as bad' as she's painted. The relationship is over and she should not interfere in the man's new relationship.

nikkykay:
Or do we say God just brot his bone & flesh after 17yrs of being in bondage

Why not? Or is there a time limit on finding your true love?

Reading from the sidelines..
Family peeps dont disappoint