So MUCCCCCCCH to learn on NL, I couldn't stop laughing at this thread from it inception, until i had to close the WINDOW before i could stop LMAO!!

Well, i think its high time i dimse off the grammatical fault thing, cos am deamn pissed out with so much laughss,

THANKS TO THE INITIATOR OF THIS TOPIC.

LOL

friend, u talk about embarassing job interviews, heck, with the kind of grammer you spill, i can only imagine how u must have made a mess of youreslf on numerous occassions way back, and to thinbk you must have improved by now and u still write such gibberish, not being too harsh though, but do try to soruce up your lingua, i dont know wat employer will keep on his books someone who communicates as poorly as you, but atleast we sha understand u

Guys, Mine happened in May 2008. I went for an experienced level bank interview and six of us were taken into an office to wait our turns, we sat together introduced ourselves and began to swap stories, after a while we noticed that the air conditioner in the room was on full-blast emitting very cold air. We were so very cold but we couldnt find a regulator to adjust the temperature or even an attendant so we just sat there freezing to death! At a point we stopped gisting because our jaws became stiff, the summary of the gist is that, when I was called in by the panelist I just forced my self to walk in like a robot. I was so cold that I couldnt even remember my present salary! My mouth just went mute! All I could do was nod my head at the interviewers like an Agama lizard! I just sat there like an Egyptian mummy!
Guess what? I got the job but I wasnt able to negotiate my pay package. Fact is, I was not able to sell myself, instead I sold myself pretty short and am still paying the price. Embarrasing isnt it?

Jamco45, You are damn too funny. I appreciate everyone's contribution, especially the one that says face your interviewer with a spirit of sportmanship.

To you Brein, I will advise you not to make any more comments on this forum. I mean, you are causing grammatical earthquake all over.

ashostar:

To you Brein, I will advise you not to make any more comments on this forum. I mean, you are causing grammatical earthquake all over.

now who dey cause the earthquake

Neo, youself join for those wen dey cause the earthquake

Oh my God this thread is so big now, quite a long time!
Well sha is nice to be back.

I quite remember my first interview went the same way. I was trembling as if that was the last job on earth. I messed up so bad the mgr even asked i needed water to cool down? lol

The interview was on Friday and early Monday, i got the notoriously expectant letter saying 'unfortunately i had not been cosen, '.

But hey, live goes on and am doing great now.

Poster

Very funny

Now i hope you have learnt some valuable lessons and everyone else too!

i had terrible experience when i went for interview with one of the telecoms firms in nigeria. i was embrassed that i started laughing. i got into the conference room. the first question was when did u get to know abt the interview. i said like 2 days ago but i had 2 travel from another state down. the guy ask if i can sense something is wrong with my dressing. I said no. I was wearing a nice pants & very lovely shirt but I wasn't wearing any tie or suit. they queried my dressing sense. Men, i was really embrassed that i couldn't answer any question during d interview. the interview session turn to counselling period. I was really amazed @ how employers put so much focus on wearing suit for an interview. As an engineer, I am not used to suits dressing code. I think they should judge by the content u carry not the outer appearance.

i had terrible experience when i went for interview with one of the telecoms firms in nigeria. i was embrassed that i started laughing. i got into the conference room. the first question was when did u get to know abt the interview. i said like 2 days ago but i had 2 travel from another state down. the guy ask if i can sense something is wrong with my dressing. I said no. I was wearing a nice pants & very lovely shirt but I wasn't wearing any tie or suit. they queried my dressing sense. Men, i was really embrassed that i couldn't answer any question during d interview. the interview session turn to counselling period. I was really amazed @ how employers put so much focus on wearing suit for an interview. As an engineer, I am not used to suits dressing code. I think they should judge by the content u carry not the outer appearance.

This is coming late but i just have to ask: what happens to awkward people like me?
Was told to walk smarter, get a bigger smile on my face and not to look and sound so scared. I thanked them all and stood up to leave, only to get my feet entangled with the chair legs. Didn't fall sha,

So what will u guys say 'bout my coz who went to an interview well suited up and for the first couple of minutes performed well n thrilled the panel, only to discover while taking his exit that the heels of his shoes just came off! . So the panel noticed it and seeing that he had screwed up a job he almost had in his grip, he begged them to give him the job so he could buy himself better shoes!
Of course he didn't get the job!

My own embarrassing experience was during NYSC, at Mobil Producing.
It was an interview for corpers. We had earlier done a test to serve in their IT department.
A friend of mine did his interview before me, and he was out in a flash. So i thought to myself 'this is gonna be a walk in the park jare!'.
How wrong I was.
As soon as I walked in, the interviewers set about dismantling my ego. They took me on in shocking detail, regarding stuff I didn't know too much about, like networking and Windows NT ( I don tay for town my guys!). So tey one of the interviewers caught me peering at his scoring sheet and remarked 'my friend, that won't help you. Why not try and make a good impression?'. I was glad to collect my rejection letter and melt away into the Lagos traffic after that.
The experience taught me two important lessons. One is, never run your mouth in interviews. Stay in areas where you are strong. Second is, just like one can be too timid, one can be too confident. Try as much as possible to be cool and calm, and give off the right ounce of energy, not too much, not too little.
Since then I have smashed interviews (at least where I got to even interview).
E go beta. Peace.

My first job interview was with a Bank. I had passed the situational shift, the online test and the telephone interview.

I went for the interview and the first part was fine. It was a very relaxed atmosphere as I had digested the Bank's up-to-date info. The last part of the interview was supposed to be 'ROLE PLAY'(I saw lots of leather and handcuffs). The thought of that made me start laughing. The lady gave me the information I needed on as sheet and left the room for 15minutes so that I could get ready. I was to Play the role of Service advisor and she would play customer. When she came back, I went through the first 5 lines and then just burst out laughing because I couldn't handle it anymore. I was standing there pretending to be looking at an 'absent bank card' while waiting to show her how to use an 'absent self-service machine' and trying to get her to switch a 'non-existing credit-card account' to 'our bank'.

I got an email the next day that said I should go and get 6 months experience and come back.

I cried and my husband said don't cry, just keep attending interviews till you get rid of all the laughing gas in your system.

I then applied for 10 jobs with another organisation. 4 Different job titles and responsibilities but different locations nationwide.
The first interview went well apart from the fact that I could still feel the eyes of the two women interviewers boring into me for the next one week. I felt like they thought something was odd about me. The remaining interviews were fine too except that I had to ask my interviewers what the title of the job interview we were holding was as I couldn't remember which was which.

I did get 3 job offers at the end of the day and 1 of them was the one with the women who kept looking at me like something was wrong with me. I chose the one with the highest pay for lesser hours.

I work in a a very big firm as a front desk, people that come in for inteviews always pass through me, I jot down my observation of the person and pass to the head human resource before the interviews proceed, different kind off people leave different kind of impressions, i am mostly thrilled with people that are neither cold or hot, you must maintain that balance, u must not show me that you know or want to know too much, and also you must not just sit down and wear that unfriendly look , i will neva forget one incident, there was this opening for an Engineer with 2 years experience, so after the rigorous screening, only 2 candidates were chosen 2 face the hhr for him to pick one, one of them had five years experience and the other had just one years, the one that had five years experience had this attitude that i hate and believe that others wud agree wif mii, he was too jumpy for my liking, so scared to the extent of sitting at the tip of his seat at the reception, he even bowed to a driver that was dressed well, even looking @ his face,u wud think that he was about to cry, God! he doesnt av any ounce of confidence in him, in summary,he lost the job 2 someone that was no where near him in qualification, and also try and maintain a good relationship wif the receptionist, it also helps.

the vaseline polish guy was funny! as were most of the others.

people dey suffer for hands of interviewers oh!

ROFLMAO

about money
sometimes they insist on you naming a figure, and aren't willing to accept the 'put me in your salary structure' response. that's usually during the final interview. therefore u shd have made a few enquiries and have an idea of how much the average rate is. increase that by about 20% and ask for that amount.
during my interview, they insisted i name a figure. so i added 20% to what i felt i could settle for (if them gree for the extra better for me ). they said it was too high. so i told them 'ok, make me an offer and i'll think about it' boy, were they impressed! and i got the job with a pay package i can't cry too much about . negotiate your pay as if you're a real estate agent. ONLY IF THEY INSIST ON NEGOTIATING O!! otherwise your story will just end up here

funny but full of lessons

thank you my people

@grammarians

thank you too, correction taken and i hope you are happy now.

please don't kill yourself over a minor error, this forum is 100% informal and oyinbo is not my mother's language.

plus i did pass the interview inspite of the big jacket, that should tell u am very very intelligent.

initiator, why did u come back after this whole post on this thread, ?

anyways, that a good report u've brought back to the house, How's your JOb going ?

and i hope another interview wont be re-scehduled, ? ?

Minimum of HND/Bsc
Must be computer literate
Ability to drive with valid drivers licence
Sex: Male
Age limit 25-30


Minimum of HND\Bsc
Must be computer literate
Ability to drive with valid drivers licence
Sex: Female
Age limit 25-30

HI GUYS

Great tips there. I love them and learnt a lot, expecially from that "SUIT" and the guy that "FAINTED" on the journey.

@ all posters : Great Posts.

  Mine was with a very big software firm in VI Lagos, I was to be employed as a software developer. I spoke so confidently and freely with my interviewer because i am quite good at my field.
   The worst happened when i looked at the tag on his table and i saw "GROUP MANAGING DIRECTOR." i started shivering immediately (You might not understand until u know that the group has 7 big firms under it). The man was so nice 2 advise me to calm down that the worse that could ever happen is for him to tell me to get out of his office. I regained my confidence and later faced a team of 5 programmers who eventually recommended me 4 d job. But guess what ? NYSC came with their call up letter nd was posted 2 the north.

The Lesson: Relate with your interviewer no matter the status like your friend but with all courtesy. CIAO

Very nice job pal, you make everyone of us to learn from your errors and we've got to make amendment, thanks once more,

tanx 4 this every part of ur experience is lesson-packed, and these same factors have stopped thousands 4rm gettin jobs they would have gotten ordinarily.

this thread reminds me of an interview i had with diamond bank, when one of them asked if i was from Kogi, i dint understand until i got through with them.

i went to their rest-room to check my appearance again only to discover my shirt collar had been stained by sweat allover with string designs attached like a bow-tie right over the top neck button(which to me

was fashionable - not knowing its not good for a suit) inside an

obvious oversized suit(i got from my fat friend). They asked of the bank's chairmans name and dint know if he was a Chief or Mr but was certain is Pascal Dozie(then), I said chief, the woman(one of them

repeated it, i said Mr, she repeated mr again, then i just said Pascal Dozie and they all burst into laughter - meaning im so confused, They asked of his home state, i knew it's one of the south-east

states but wasnt sure, i mentioned Abia, they said no, mentioned Enugu, she replied negative, and at that point told me not to bother, i felt dehydrated immediately.

i felt embarassed and wondered why i chose that shirt, next i got from them was negative, lol

Lesson: Appraise your look in the mirror before attending an interview(i dint)

@dremoney:There might have been other reasons for the negative reply

bettes:

@dremoney:There might have been other reasons for the negative reply

yea, like my friend still serving (then - who had 2 months to passing-out) got the job because he's an Ibo (inspite of the fact that completion of NYSC is a pre-requisite),

na them sabi sha, even if they call me now, they cant pay my money.

So, according to the Bible, All Things Work For Good To Those That Love God and Unto Those That Are Called According To His Purpose,

All Praise and Thanks to God Almighty.

Are You Happy with Your Present job?

I want to ask a simple but not easy to answer question. Are you happy with your present job? If not why are you not happy with your job? It is an obvious fact that you will spend most of your time at your place of work. This is true because many people who leave home around 7am and come back at 6 or 7pm live most of their days doing the job they dread. How do you think such people will be happy?
If you don't like your job or you’re not happy with you present job just read along… there are helpful tips that can raise your enthusiasm and make you more productive.
First of all, if you don't like the job you are doing, just love the people who worked there. Try to feel the happiness and have a good relationship with them and be a good friend and, your job will be more happiness.
If you can't love your job partner, just love the atmosphere and your office building.
The photograph in your table, the decorative of your room, the computer, the chair that you sit everyday, and many more
This method can make you more passionate to starting a job day by day and you can finish assignment better.
But if you still can't do that, just love and appreciate every little thing from you start a job until ending a job. Some destination will make your purpose more happiness too.
Still can't do that? Don't worry, if you can't find any happiness there, just love everything you loved from your job for example, the sky behind the window, lizard in the park, the garden, everything!
So, if there is still no happiness in your job, why you still in there?
No reason to you to stay at your job
Just go and find everything that make you happy and you love it, and work there
No more thing in this world that more beautiful except do with a honest and straightforward love
So love every single thing in life without regret, or complaining
Just enjoy this life, and don't forget, smile.

The greatest joy on earth is to love and be loved. Why not try and love somebody first and see maybe you won’t be loved in return? Nevertheless I will just add this that one of the best ways to be happy with your job is to do what you love for a living.

Maybe the job you’re doing is not the job you love. There ways you can determine you own salary and get you dream job.

TOYNEX:

Are You Happy with Your Present job?

I want to ask a simple but not easy to answer question. Are you happy with your present job? If not why are you not happy with your job? It is an obvious fact that you will spend most of your time at your place of work. This is true because many people who leave home around 7am and come back at 6 or 7pm live most of their days doing the job they dread. How do you think such people will be happy?
If you don't like your job or you’re not happy with you present job just read along… there are helpful tips that can raise your enthusiasm and make you more productive.
First of all, if you don't like the job you are doing, just love the people who worked there. Try to feel the happiness and have a good relationship with them and be a good friend and, your job will be more happiness.
If you can't love your job partner, just love the atmosphere and your office building.
The photograph in your table, the decorative of your room, the computer, the chair that you sit everyday, and many more
This method can make you more passionate to starting a job day by day and you can finish assignment better.
But if you still can't do that, just love and appreciate every little thing from you start a job until ending a job. Some destination will make your purpose more happiness too.
Still can't do that? Don't worry, if you can't find any happiness there, just love everything you loved from your job for example, the sky behind the window, lizard in the park, the garden, everything!
So, if there is still no happiness in your job, why you still in there?
No reason to you to stay at your job
Just go and find everything that make you happy and you love it, and work there
No more thing in this world that more beautiful except do with a honest and straightforward love
So love every single thing in life without regret, or complaining
Just enjoy this life, and don't forget, smile.

The greatest joy on earth is to love and be loved. Why not try and love somebody first and see maybe you won’t be loved in return? Nevertheless I will just add this that one of the best ways to be happy with your job is to do what you love for a living.

Maybe the job you’re doing is not the job you love. There ways you can determine you own salary and get you dream job.

even if i dont love my job, i love you.