coogar:

you sef how did you allow yourself to be caught?

When you have 5 teenage daughters living in one location....you quickly learn surveillance skills and my Dad was a PRO. He will catch anything

Na wa ooooo, wen i was 17, i was already in uni also, bt never have a GF. Had my first GF at d age of 25 after finishing school abd NYSC. Dat is y am always suprise wen i c or heard peeps havin GF or BF at age 16 or 17.hmmmmm, maybe am a rare breed then.

abdulkayus: Na wa ooooo, wen i was 17, i was already in uni also, bt never have a GF. Had my first GF at d age of 25 after finishing school abd NYSC. Dat is y am always suprise wen i c or heard peeps havin GF or BF at age 16 or 17.hmmmmm, maybe am a rare breed then.

abdulkayus: Na wa ooooo, wen i was 17, i was already in uni also, bt never have a GF. Had my first GF at d age of 25 after finishing school abd NYSC. Dat is y am always suprise wen i c or heard peeps havin GF or BF at age 16 or 17.hmmmmm, maybe am a rare breed then.

.
Yes you are a rare breed!!! Lolllz

bettymafy:

Oh really? It isnt about sex? What is it about then? Marriage? Companionship? Did u ask your son what he wants out of the relationship?

Like I said, I understand perfectly that what happens with teenagers (especially these days) is far from ideal and not what any parent can stop. Not with their raging hormones. But what I didn't (and still don't) understand is your excitement.

While we are all being friends with our children, let's not forget to be parents. That is our primary duty.

I'm in no way trying to spite you Baba Oyo. If anything, I love the fact that you can communicate with your son. Thank God u said he's a responsible boy, so hopefully u won't have a "baby mama/STI" case to deal with.

Cheers.

.
I really wonder what experience you had as a kid at 17, can you please share?
.

As much as things have changed around the world so fast, I believe a 17yrs old kid is almost an adult. So what happens when he is 18?
I pretend he is still a "small boy" and I lash him with a belt for talking to women?
Am not feeling ur line of argument!!

horny4u:

I seriously doubt its about sex...I had my first BF when I was 15 nd he was 18 and to him I was just a goddess to be looked at, gifted, smiled at. We dated for 3 years and not once did he try to steal a kiss...He probably had a boneerr at that time but I was the gal to be kept for the future......the love was thick (dates were walking aimlessly and occasional chicken george and val gift was indomie and peak milk ) Bless his soul and like someone else mentioned, a time will come when he may not be able to feel that strongly about nobody.

I am so thankful for that experience and will always have a soft spot for him....."life" !

Let him have this and enjoy this experience biko ....future success can never buy it.

Heartbreak will toughen him....unfortunately

Then he wasn't your boyfriend please. This is the dictionary meaning of BF;
boy·friend/ˈboiˌfrend/
Noun:
A regular male companion with whom one has a romantic or sex.ual relationship

Call him a close male friend, bestie, anything, but not BF. If the OP's son's relationship will be like the one u described above, then there isn't much to be worried about. Nothing to be excited about either.

I so much love this post and comments. I can't wait to read the update ooo.

bettymafy:

Oh really? It isnt about sex? What is it about then? Marriage? Companionship? Did u ask your son what he wants out of the relationship?

Like I said, I understand perfectly that what happens with teenagers (especially these days) is far from ideal and not what any parent can stop. Not with their raging hormones. But what I didn't (and still don't) understand is your excitement.

While we are all being friends with our children, let's not forget to be parents. That is our primary duty.

I'm in no way trying to spite you Baba Oyo. If anything, I love the fact that you can communicate with your son. Thank God u said he's a responsible boy, so hopefully u won't have a "baby mama/STI" case to deal with.

Cheers.

Sis, do not let the moral decadence of today make you conclude an early relationship is all about sex......


Some boys are well trained both morally and spiritually that they know when to cross that line. I went to a boys only secondary school and had no idea of how the opposite sex reason or are wired. My cravings for a relationship at that age was to understand the complexity of the opposite sex and way of looking at issues. Yes, it sounds weird but its the truth. Nothing like sex crossed my mind because I have been taught the basic things I need to know and also brought up with moral values.

Why do you think sex education is being advocated to be taught at early stage? Knowledge is power, what you know in the right way and at the right time will give a person opportunity to use it right than what will be learnt among peers.

The consequence of neglecting him or rebuking him for the action will be much worse. One of the best way to handle it is what he is doing now.


One of the reasons I believe a lot of guys out there maltreat the opposite sex these days is because so many of them were not exposed to early training about relationship from their fathers. If their fathers had taught them basic things about relationship and handling of the opposite sex, cases of abuse, maltreatment and the likes will be limited.


This is 21st century, the guy already learnt more than his age from the internet, TV and what have you.


Baba Oyo, while at it, watch the Guy's back not to lose focus of the goals and aims set for his life.

It is well with him.

bettymafy:

Then he wasn't your boyfriend please. This is the dictionary meaning of BF;
boy·friend/ˈboiˌfrend/
Noun:
A regular male companion with whom one has a romantic or sexual relationship

Call him a close male friend, bestie, anything, but not BF. If the OP's son's relationship will be like the one u described above, then there isn't much to be worried about. Nothing to be excited about either.

Going by the dictionary meaning you supplied, the guy was her boyfriend. It says romantic or intimate relationship. Intimacy is not synonymous with sex. Intimate relationship means relationship with someone you can confide in as per confidential and personal issues.

Must there be sex involved before I can say someone is my boyfriend/girlfriend. When I was in high school, the dictionary meaning of it used to be a friend of the opposite sex. I can't forget that because I checked several times. The moral decadence of this age has altered that meaning. Hence why you think sex must be involved in any boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

bellong:


Going by the dictionary meaning you supplied, the guy was her boyfriend. It says romantic or intimate relationship. Intimacy is not synonymous with sex. Intimate relationship means relationship with someone you can confide in as per confidential and personal issues.

Must there be sex involved before I can say someone is my boyfriend/girlfriend. When I was in high school, the dictionary meaning of it used to be a friend of the opposite sex. I can't forget that because I checked several times. The moral decadence of this age has altered that meaning. Hence why you think sex must be involved in any boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

Its actually sex.ual relationship. Nairaland word filter changed it to intimate relationship. Better still, google it.

bettymafy:

Its actually sex.ual relationship. Nairaland word filter changed it to intimate relationship. Better still, google it.

So any couple that are not having sex cant be called boyfriend and girlfriends?

So people who remained celibate with their partners till married were never bf and GF?

bettymafy:

Its actually sex.ual relationship. Nairaland word filter changed it to intimate relationship. Better still, google it.

The dictionary I have says otherwise. Nothing like sex-ual relationship linked with it.

Baba Oyo, goodluck, but pray that it turns out good, I am sure you know what you are doing.

Btw, can you allow your 15 year old daughter to have a boyfriend/get laid now

dayokanu:

So any couple that are not having sex cant be called boyfriend and girlfriends?

So people who remained celibate with their partners till married were never bf and GF?

Don't ask me. Ask Oxford dictionary.

I don laff tire. I have finally concluded i am an alien going by some of the posts here. So moral decadence started with this generation?! Ok o i don hear.

Baba Oyo, i must commend the fact that you have been able to establish a close relationship with your son earlier. It makes a whole lot of things easier, I must say.

betty, not all 17 year olds are having sex, it's all about who the child is. Some are just feeling cool with themselves...nothing more. You're being paranoid, see this from a less-judgemental perspective.

However, it's funny how this would have gone differently if Oyo were to be a girl.
Baba Oyo, so, it's we girls that we don't 'm'aye je' abi

If you have not had "The Talk" with him dont forget to have it before it is too late. Good to be excited but your first responsibility to him is to provide guidance and too many of us are shy about having this talk with them and let our offsprings go through life on try and error basis.

bellong:


Going by the dictionary meaning you supplied, the guy was her boyfriend. It says romantic or intimate relationship. Intimacy is not synonymous with sex. Intimate relationship means relationship with someone you can confide in as per confidential and personal issues.

Must there be sex involved before I can say someone is my boyfriend/girlfriend . When I was in high school, the dictionary meaning of it used to be a friend of the opposite sex. I can't forget that because I checked several times. The moral decadence of this age has altered that meaning. Hence why you think sex must be involved in any boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

@bolded it still is.

Going with The 'Modern' Dictionary I have here;

A boyfriend is another word for a Male friend , abi it's no brainer

We all know what 'Male' means ko? And a friend going from what I'm reading here in 3 different definition;

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile:



I saw this other Definition for the word Boyfriend:

Boyfriend
1. a frequent or favorite male companion; beau.
2. a male friend
3. a male lover

You can chose whatever suit your upbringing and orientation .

* crawls back into bed*

Thank you @op for your reply. If there is one thing i don't really do on social site, it should be arguements upon arguements. I guess this will be my last post on this. A 17year old guy going to SU is not late. It will not introduce rebellious attitude in him. At such age he is building his foundation. He can attract curses or blessings to his foundation. He can attract positive or negative charges. At that age, he is building powerful forces and traits which will determine how his moral life, marriage, etc will be in the future. Am not surprised that you are still maintaining your words of being happy of your son's issue and still went ahead to call yourself an integrity man. What of being upright? Are you upright by supporting your son on this? The bible says "all things are lawful unto me but all things are not expedient". What you are doing maybe lawful in the eyes of the world(afterall the world is too corrupt and perverted) but does it bring godly or moral edification? As a father, you are to give positive and righteous advise to your children. God has no policeman that move around, forcing people to go to church, pay tax, stop visiting brothels or associating with sinful friends, or even taking the right decisions. God gave man power and the priviledge of choice. He has given man a terrible responsibility of abiding by the result and consequences of his choices. You need to make an holy and upright choice as regards to your son's issue of having intimate relationship with a girl. Tell him the truth that will be pleasing to GOD and not to man. By doing so, you are showing him the path of life and how to make right and godly choices which will help him in future. The bible admonishes us to teach our children the right path to follow so that when they grow up, they will not depart from it. Many people are suffering today because of choices they made many years ago. Some choices are good, some choices are better, while some choices are best. Which one of these choices did you make for your son by supporting him in having intimate relationship with a girl at the age of 17? Every choice you make, has consequences, if it is a good choice, it has consequences(positive), if it is a bad choice, it has consequence(negative). If you choose not to stop your son of 17years from having an affair, you have made a choice, if you have chosen not to choose biblical knowledge/words in advising your son, you have made a choice, if you say "i don't want to discourage my son from entering into wordly affair because i did it at my own time so therefore i will not make a decision to stop him", you have equally made a choice. With Proverbs 14 verses 12 i tell you, as a father, the choice you make today will determine your children's personal foundations and destinies.

^ ^ ^ did you see the part where he said he's not a Christian

Princess zoe: Thank you @op for your reply. If there is one thing i don't really do on social site, it should be arguements upon arguements. I guess this will be my last post on this. A 17year old guy going to SU is not late. It will not introduce rebellious attitude in him. At such age he is building his foundation. He can attract curses or blessings to his foundation. He can attract positive or negative charges. At that age, he is building powerful forces and traits which will determine how his moral life, marriage, etc will be in the future. Am not surprised that you are still maintaining your words of being happy of your son's issue and still went ahead to call yourself an integrity man. What of being upright? Are you upright by supporting your son on this? The bible says "all things are lawful unto me but all things are not expedient". What you are doing maybe lawful in the eyes of the world(afterall the world is too corrupt and perverted) but does it bring godly or moral edification? As a father, you are to give positive and righteous advise to your children. God has no policeman that move around, forcing people to go to church, pay tax, stop visiting brothels or associating with sinful friends, or even taking the right decisions. God gave man power and the priviledge of choice. He has given man a terrible responsibility of abiding by the result and consequences of his choices. You need to make an holy and upright choice as regards to your son's issue of having intimate relationship with a girl. Tell him the truth that will be pleasing to GOD and not to man. By doing so, you are showing him the path of life and how to make right and godly choices which will help him in future. The bible admonishes us to teach our children the right path to follow so that when they grow up, they will not depart from it. Many people are suffering today because of choices they made many years ago. Some choices are good, some choices are better, while some choices are best. Which one of these choices did you make for your son by supporting him in having intimate relationship with a girl at the age of 17? Every choice you make, has consequences, if it is a good choice, it has consequences(positive), if it is a bad choice, it has consequence(negative). If you choose not to stop your son of 17years from having an affair, you have made a choice, if you have chosen not to choose biblical knowledge/words in advising your son, you have made a choice, if you say "i don't want to discourage my son from entering into wordly affair because i did it at my own time so therefore i will not make a decision to stop him", you have equally made a choice. With Proverbs 14 verses 12 i tell you, as a father, the choice you make today will determine your children's personal foundations and destinies.

Some mothers do have them

By 17, I had already had more than 2 boyfriends. Though I had my first kiss at 17. I knew sex was out of the question, because I was already warned from home. But I could break up because their hair was not right, or the new toaster was finer. Absolutely no emotional attachment, they were more like friends. These poor boys saw things differently, and I still get "hate" mail sometimes. One even went on a rampage with girls after I dumped him "heartlessly". Me, I was just enjoying and changing them like pant, because I could and they were many toasting. . This is why it is crucial for bab oyo to talk to him. The guy might be interested, but the girl may just be in it because it is the in thing. All those boyfriends were dumped as soon as I got into uni, as I was no longer "on their level". There were older, finer and more suCcessful guys toasting me then. Really, kids shouldn't be involved in anything so attached like sex until they are mature enough to handle it. Talking to kids about these things are very important, most will do what you say they shouldn't do. Its best to just advice them on how to handle such situations. Kudo's baba oyo, good job. Update us about bobo oyo's first date. Thank God you heard that conversation.

Princess zoe: Which one of these choices did you make for your son by supporting him in having intimate relationship with a girl at the age of 17? Every choice you make, has consequences, if it is a good choice, it has consequences(positive), if it is a bad choice, it has consequence(negative). If you choose not to stop your son of 17years from having an affair, you have made a choice, if you have chosen not to choose biblical knowledge/words in advising your son, you have made a choice, if you say "i don't want to discourage my son from entering into wordly affair because i did it at my own time so therefore i will not make a decision to stop him", you have equally made a choice. With Proverbs 14 verses 12 i tell you, as a father, the choice you make today will determine your children's personal foundations and destinies.

Religion is different from living right sis. At what age did David, Josiah etc had their first wife? Does intimate relationship means illicit sex-ual relationship? The reason why the society will keep deteriorating, too many religious people with faulty analysis of issues. Have you read what the OP states about his involvement in the whole saga? Is there any point he said, he will encourage his son to take the girl to bed? Please stop being religious and just be a christian.

In-between, the OP said he is not a christian.

baby_123: By 17, I had already had more than 2 boyfriends. Though I had my first kiss at 17. I knew sex was out of the question, because I was already warned from home. But I could break up because their hair was not right, or the new toaster was finer. Absolutely no emotional attachment, they were more like friends. These poor boys saw things differently, and I still get "hate" mail sometimes. One even went on a rampage with girls after I dumped him "heartlessly". Me, I was just enjoying and changing them like pant, because I could and they were many toasting. . This is why it is crucial for bab oyo to talk to him. The guy might be interested, but the girl may just be in it because it is the in thing. All those boyfriends were dumped as soon as I got into uni, as I was no longer "on their level". There were older, finer and more suCcessful guys toasting me then. Really, kids shouldn't be involved in anything so attached like sex until they are mature enough to handle it. Talking to kids about these things are very important, most will do what you say they shouldn't do. Its best to just advice them on how to handle such situations. Kudo's baba oyo, good job. Update us about bobo oyo's first date. Thank God you heard that conversation.

Baby you don't say?? more than 2 boyfriends already @ 17 ?? oh my oh my ! that must've been a terrifying experience .

okay okay enough now

I tire for these P P P Pecksniffians , they should divert their preachings to drug dealers and 419s.

You Remind me of my first boyfriend @ 17 peck on the cheek and practicing kisses , long distance letters , remember this term ' doxology' chei ... no touching or we are done, besides we were raised together so I'd report him. I dropped him like its hot , he was too serious for my liking.

@Princess Zoe. Sincerely, loosen your grip a bit abeg. I have seen a practising SU girl in my neighbourhood that got pregnant for a fellow practising SU boy. Her practising and no-television-in-the-house SU parents had to take her away from the neighbourhood.

You should not be too hard/strict/religious with teenagers abeg. I like the steps Baba Oyo has taken but he shouldn't be too light with it sha o and i think he should try to know the Fola probably to talk some sense like a concerned father would to her too.

naijababe: I don laff tire. I have finally concluded i am an alien going by some of the posts here. So moral decadence started with this generation?! Ok o i don hear.

you have to understand there are many fakers and pretenders here....

i did some schooling in nigeria and having a boyfriend/girlfriend is a junior secondary school thing. why are people pretending this isn't the norm in nigeria? these are the same people that would lie to their kids that they never came 2nd throughout their academic career - na first throughout!!

jidegirl12:


Baby you don't say?? more than 2 boyfriends already @ 17 ?? oh my oh my ! that must've been a terrifying experience .

okay okay enough now

I tire for these P P P Pecksniffians , they should divert their preachings to drug dealers and 419s.

You Remind me of my first boyfriend @ 17 peck on the cheek and practicing kisses , long distance letters , remember this term ' doxology' chei ... no touching or we are done, besides we were raised together so I'd report him. I dropped him like its hot , he was too serious for my liking.

Hehehehe, I had a different boyfriend every 6months or a year since I was 15. But I knew not to go to anyones house, any classroom or be in a weird situation with them. People were having se*x at 15 or 16. And me that "apparent baddest" was a virgin well into uni. So this sex talk should even happen for girls when they see their period, and for boys at puberty. With kids, friends have a lot of influence on them, and they tend to do a lot of things in packs or groups. So, it is bettersafe than sorry. The world is not a big pure place. The world is dirty and immoral. You would be setting them up to fail by pretending you are holy. Be real and open with them. They will appreciate it. How can you open your eyes and see your kids make avoidable mistakes? It is better to tell them first, and if they go ahead and disobey you, then they will learn the lesson the hard way. Life has even gotten more complicated. When we were growing up, pregnancies, std's and hiv's were not so much like this. Do your role as a parent, and leave the rest for God. Your role is to guide them through life and its circumstances. Its because Nigerian's are so afraid to talk about S*EX so much crap happens these days.

naijababe: I don laff tire. I have finally concluded i am an alien going by some of the posts here. So moral decadence started with this generation?! Ok o i don hear.

Thats the hypocrisy in Nigeria.

The same Nigeria where bleaching was the in thing in the early 90's. In the 80's and early 90's we were watching porn on VHS , we were reading Lolly magazine, Several teenage girls were aborting at will, seniors were bullying juniors, students were beating teachers, raape was rampart at Inter-House-Sport, Inter school violence was very high (E.g CMS vs Igbobi, GCI vs Loyola etc)- nowadays nothing but a bunch of butter babies in secondary school

Listen to that Dele Taiwo song I posted and see if there is any worse music in circulation currently,

Wasnt it in the 80's and 90's that Obesere and Shina Peters lewd music held sway?

Now we all are saying we didnt have girlfriends before 20. No one ever had sex before age 25 in our generation LOL

I had girls in my school who started having sex since Primary school. By SS2 (average age 16)almost 60% of Nigerian boys and girls have a sexual encounter

But now we would tell them the world just started getting spoilt

Aside for homosexuality on the rise, I would say these generation were even better than the generation of their parents sef

dayokanu:

Thats the hypocrisy in Nigeria.

The same Nigeria where bleaching was the in thing in the early 90's. In the 80's and early 90's we were watching porn on VHS , we were reading Lolly magazine, Several teenage girls were aborting at will

Listen to that Dele Taiwo song I posted and see if there is any worse music in circulation currently,

Wasnt it in the 80's and 90's that Obesere and Shina Peters lewd music held sway?

Now we all are saying we didnt have girlfriends before 20. No one ever had sex before age 25 in our generation LOL

I had girls in my school who started having sex since Primary school. By SS2 (average age 16)almost 60% of Nigerian boys and girls have a sexual encounter

But now we would tell them the world just started getting spoilt

Aside for homosexuality on the rise, I would say these generation were even better than the generation of their parents sef

even as at the turn of the millennium, "better lover" magazine was more popular than calculus among nigerian secondary school students!

coogar:

even as at the turn of the millennium, "better lover" magazine was more popular than calculus among nigerian secondary school students!

Secondary school in the late 80's early 90's

Secondary school student riots, seniors were bullying juniors, students were beating teachers, raape was rampart at Inter-House-Sport, Inter school violence was very high (E.g CMS vs Igbobi, GCI vs Loyola etc)- nowadays nothing but a bunch of butter babies in secondary school

Which of the above happens nowadays sef?

I can conclude these generation were better morally than their parents generation jare

As at 1997 I had a younger cousin who never missed an edition of better lover at age 13-14 buying it in open glare at Ikeja under bridge he married last yr and maybe later would tell his teenage son watching poorn that the world is spoilt

Mills and boons nko? Then there was another sexual circulation too, I forget the name. In a newspaper or magazine. A virgin can have org*asm from those things.

baby_123: Mills and boons nko? Then there was another sexual circulation too, I forget the name. In a newspaper or magazine. A virgin can have org*asm from those things.

Is that not Lolly magazines with the lead character Dauda or Nackson